[ToxicShadow]

The Love Me Corporation.

Where all your desires become reality.

Are you lonely? Do you seek love or companionship? Do you need someone to cook and clean for you? Do you need someone to spend your long nights with? An Artificial Personal Lover, an APL, can do all that and more. Whatever you desire will become reality.

Win your own APL today!

The visual ad swept across the furthest corners of interweb, accompanied with images of a variety of attractive men and women alike. The Love Me Corporation, which managed to stay off of the radar until their ad was released, were finally preparing their initial product testing. Any attempt to find information on the company was fruitless, aside from leading many to their unrevealing, although legitimate, website, which left many to believe their ad was only a prank.

Those desperate and adventurous few that braved entering their giveaway, which turned out to be even more than the company had anticipated, only had to fill out some of their personal information and an extensive questionnaire. No credit card or method of potential payment was required. As the company reassured over and over, no payment or entry fee was required. Even shipping, upon winning one of their products, was totally free.

The information they sought out, at first, was very basic. They requested the entree's name, age, sex (including an other, unsure, many, none, and "I wish not to reveal" option), and a non P.O. box shipping address. Then the questions began, which were still considerably basic.

Name three to five words that you think best describe you.

What do you enjoy doing in your free time?

Do you have a favorite color?

What is your favorite season?

Name five of your favorite foods.

Which later, after several other questions, became a little more to the point.

Do you find shorter or longer hair attractive?

What is your favorite, non-gender defining, physical feature on a person?

What do you look for in a potential partner?

In a relationship, are you more interested in sex or romance? Or both?

Do you enjoy foreplay?

And so it went on and on. The questions filled several pages. Eventually, once the questions were over and submitted, the entree was greeted with a final message. "Congratulations! You have been entered to win your own APL. You are on your way to having all of your desires fulfilled!" It was accompanied with an exact countdown to when a winner would be selected.

[crow]

When Embry first came upon the ad for the contest, he had thought it was a scam. It was certainly persistent enough to be one. Besides, what the hell was that pitch? He snorted as he read it over. If something sounded too good to be true, then it probably was, and this one was definitely right up there. Whatever he wanted? He rolled his eyes. Yeah, right. "I wanna be the Queen of England. Think you can manage that?" he drawled. Not that anyone could hear him, of course, but he chuckled a little at his own joke.

He was bored though, and it was right there. After a moment's deliberation, he clicked on the ad to see where it would take him. He was surprised that it didn't ask for credit card information or anything like that, but as soon as he saw the questionnaire, he nodded to himself. Identity theft was pretty popular these days. He wondered how many unsuspecting schmucks had already fallen into this particular trap, lured in by absurd promises and the apparent safety of not having to put down a payment method.

Smirking, he clicked on the name field and typed 'James Bond'. He proceeded through the rest of the questionnaire this way with everything else pertaining to his identity, aside from gender and address. As the questions got more personal and less focused on his credentials, however, Embry began to doubt himself.

Well, it's not like they could really get me with this, he thought. He answered most of the quicker questions honestly. I like the summer. The color... green. Pasta, steak, flan, apples, sushi. Eyes are the most attractive. A little cliche, the last one, but as far as his experience went, it was true. If it took more than a few words to answer though, he just wrote whatever nonsense came to mind. What am I looking for in a partner? A hot smokin' piece of ass. He snickered. What the folks on the other end were going to make of this, he had no idea. The sex stuff was a bit creepy, but two could play at that game. I'm into hardcore bondage. Me as the dom though, he added, just in case anything came of it. He didn't think anything would, but he didn't want to wake up to some weirdo trussing him up and dragging a whip over his skin either.

When everything was done, he clicked 'submit'. A glance at the time startled him; apparently he had wasted four whole hours on this. Man, if this was a scam, they were really going all-out on it. This was worse than the time he'd tried to create a joke profile on eHarmony.

[ToxicShadow]

A handful of days passed from the time that Embry's entry form had been submitted to the Love Me Corporation and just as the countdown had indicated, a winner had been selected. The very first winner. Although, odd as it seemed, the name of the winner went unannounced. It was not revealed to the public, nor was any move made to contact the winner.

When the company reviewed Embry's entry form, so as to construct his ideal, needed Artificial Personal Lover, it became painfully obvious that his entry was only a joke to him. However, the staff believed that anyone willing to take the time to enter their contest needed an APL, even if they did not yet know it. They adapted a partially existing APL, which they had lovingly nicknamed Alba, to fit his criteria. Fortunately, whether or not his information was actually truthful and accurate, each APL was equipped with excellent learning software. They suspected Alba would be relying heavily upon his from now on.

As for matters of his real name and the physical address, well, that was a cakewalk for them to decipher. All they required to start their hunt was the IP address connected to his entry form.

Early in the morning, around a week after Embry submitted his entry, there was a loud knock on his door. He would soon discover two delivery men, pushing a large wooden crate adorned with the words "Love Me Corporation," painted in bright pink on a furniture dolly.

"You're..." One man began to speak the moment the door was opened, checking over his clipboard and not bothering with formalities of cheerful greetings. "Embry, correct? We have a delivery. Sign here please," he then practically shoved into the hands of the package receiver. "Quickly. We've got more deliveries to do."

[crow]

Embry ignored the first knocks on his door, rolling over and burying his face in his pillow. It was probably for someone else, and he wasn't anywhere near ready to be awake and interacting with people yet. However, as the knocking became more persistent, he was forced to entertain the idea that there might actually be someone at his door after all. He cracked open an eye and blinked blearily at the clock by his bed, which read 7:15 AM. Yeesh. Who the hell was looking for him at this ungodly hour?

With a groan, he rolled off the bed and onto the floor, his blanket still half-tangled with his legs. He sat there for a moment, trying to convince his other eye to open. Another round of knocking, this one louder and more impatient, urged him to his feet. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," he said. His voice was still husky from sleep, and he was rubbing at his gummed-up eyes when he opened the door to see two delivery men wheeling a crate.

It took Embry a moment to process what the guy with the clipboard was saying. To be fair, he was fresh out of bed and royally hung-over. He looked the part too, wearing nothing but a baggy tank-top and boxers and sporting a truly magnificent case of bedhead. His copper-colored hair stood nearly on-end in places, which was no small feat considering it was long enough to get in his eyes when it was down. He was nineteen, but his slight stature and skinniness made him look younger. The fact that he had a bit of a baby-face didn't help either, but right now that was partially mitigated by how tired he looked.

He signed the clipboard reflexively when it was thrust at him, though he squinted blankly at it afterwards. "I didn't order anything," he said. Not even the words on the crate could jog his memory. He had barely paid any attention to the online contest entry he'd filled out a week ago, and promptly forgotten about it afterwards. "Are you sure you don't have the wrong address?" he asked dubiously, though the address on the clipboard form was... definitely his, yep, right down to the unit number.

Wait, was this some sort of prank? Maybe he shouldn't have taken it... But it was too late; he'd already signed for it, and the delivery men didn't seem to be in any kind of mood to negotiate.

[ToxicShadow]

"No, we got the right place," the delivery man assured, snatching up the clipboard as soon as Embry had signed it. He gave it a once over to confirm it was properly signed, and nodded. "If you don't remember what you ordered, I suggest you stop and think about it," he advised. He definitely knew more than he was letting on.

"All right, let's wheel it in and get out of here," he said, looking at his partner. It took the both of them to wheel the wooden crate inside the apartment and push it off of the furniture dolly. "Don't forget to open it for him," he then added. Being that most common folk didn't typically carry around a means to pry open crates, it was only a common courtesy to open it for them. The other man produced a crowbar and went to work.

"Oh, yes, Sir," he addressed Embry once more, giving him a once over and smirking. Things were definitely going to be interesting. "They don't come with a written manual. Everything is relayed orally. Play nice." With those words of advice, the two deliveryman hurriedly took their leave before Embry could fully grasp the situation and stop them. They hightailed it out of there.

Within moments of their departure, the loosened side of the wooden crate fully dislodged and fell to the floor, quickly followed by the contents within it. An avalanche of pink and purple styrofoam packing peanuts spilled out onto the floor and, even more alarming than that, a nearly naked man with pale pink hair stumbled out along with them. He appeared to be somewhere in his early to mid twenties and, even in the kneeling position he had caught himself in, it was evident that he was considerably taller than Embry was. The only garment covering his lean but masculine form was a pair of boxers, in the same color Embry had declared to be his favorite on his contest entry form.

He remained that way for a very brief moment, before gaining his barrings. He rose to his full height in one swift motion and pulled Embry into an embrace, declaring, "I love you, Embry!"

[crow]

Embry was left scratching his head in confusion as the deliverymen left him alone with the box. Not a lot of what they'd said made any sense to him, not the least of which was because he still couldn't remember ordering anything this large to begin with. Well, best solution for the moment was to sleep on it; the mystery box could wait. That was what Embry had thought, anyway, before the thing opened of its own accord.

He had just barely registered the fact that the thing inside was a person (and a nearly-naked one at that) before he suddenly found the bottom half of his face being pressed into said nearly-naked person's shoulder. "Wh--- Hey, whoa whoa whoa!" Embry flailed, trying to struggle his way out of the stranger's grip. "What the hell are you doing?" And what the hell was he saying? That was a guy... right? He wasn't sure, since he hadn't gotten a very good look at them before they decided it was tackle time, but most girls weren't this tall. Aaaand... His hands pushed against the chest, ostensibly in an attempt to push the stranger away. Hmm. No boobs either. Yeah, definitely a dude. "I swear, if this is some kinda sicko prank," he started, already going through a mental list of friends who would be screwed-up enough to do this. It wasn't going very well. His headache made it hard to think, and his deeply uncomfortable proximity to Mr Big Box Surprise was certainly not helping matters.

[ToxicShadow]

The man seemed unwilling to loosen his grasp, as if he was holding onto something precious that he had long been separated from. Compared to an artificial being, like himself, his User was considerably less strong. He wouldn't win any physical battles against him. The words that came out of Embry's mouth somewhat confused him, however. He had entered to win him, which he was well aware of, so why had he no idea who he was?

He slowly loosened his embrace, until only his hands remained resting on either of Embry's shoulders. He hunched over, so that he could look him directly in the eyes. "This is not a prank. Do you really not remember? Are humans that poor at keeping their memories?" That sort of data was not one that Alba really knew. His actual hands on experience with living beings was incredibly limited. "You entered to win me, an Artificial Personal Lover, did you not?"

"I am Artificial Personal Lover Prototype Beta A1X, 'Alba.' You are Embry, are you not? Or would you prefer to be called James Bond? That's the information you entered, but it did not match up with the name registered to your apartment."

[crow]

Embry sputtered. "Humans?! Did you just say humans? What kinda screwed-up joke is this?" He shook off Alba's arms as the taller man backed off, looking back and forth between the hands on his shoulders and Alba's face. Dude was a killer actor, he'd give him that. It took something else to burst out from a goddamn box in his undies in some stranger's house and deliver that little speech without laughing even a little. Crossing his arms, he frowned as sternly as he could and said, "Look, if you really have nothing better to do---"

But then something about Alba's words finally clicked for Embry, and he froze for a moment, staring into space as he finally remembered the website. The survey. Oh god. He covered his face with both hands and groaned, peeked through his fingers up at Alba as if to check whether he was still there, then closed his eyes and groaned again. "Oh my god," he said. "Oh my god."

He did nothing but repeat the same words again and again for the next few minutes, trapped in his own metaphorical pit of mortification. Never had it been so deep. Wait, that one time in high school--- no, this was still worse. Probably. He thought about all the other crap he had written on the survey. Yeah, definitely worse. He glanced at Alba and groaned a third time, which turned into a whining half-sob at the end. He took a deep breath and sighed. "I can't believe it," he said weakly. "I won the lottery from hell!" He laughed, but it sounded a little hysterical. "Now there's a weirdo standing naked in my house! Boy, if this is a nightmare, I---" He slapped himself across the cheek, hard. "No? Still there, huh? Okay." Whack! He slapped himself again on the other cheek, harder this time. Glance. "Third time's the charm. C'mon Embry." Smack! Glance. Nope, not even a little bit.

With another feverish peal of laughter, Embry sank to his knees and flopped unceremoniously onto the floor on his back, his hair spreading across the carpet like a slightly greasy halo. "I'm going to throw you out. If you call me James Bond I'm double throwing you out. You know what, I'm double throwing you out anyway."

[ToxicShadow]

How was this a joke? Embry was a human wasn't he? Well, Alba was possibly the worst judge of that. As far as he was aware, he had only met one other APL and a human or two back at the Love Me Corporation's laboratory. He couldn't even say for sure if they were actually human. All things considered, he just could not comprehend Embry's reaction. He wasn't making things up, he wasn't pretending, what was so hard to understand about that?

He was considerably patient through his User's seemingly entire break down, although his expression grew more and more concerned for Embry's well being as he went on and on. Of course, then some of his words made Alba's chest hurt. It was emulating the sinking, painful feeling one felt in their heart as they experienced rejection. Even with that, the APL did not show this in his expression or actions. He pushed through it. "I... Embry, I don't think it is wise to continuing slapping yourself," he tried to inject, to prevent his User from hurting himself, but his words fell on deaf ears.

When Embry had finally totally lost it and unceremoniously flopped onto the floor, Alba's frowned deepened so much it looked like it might have remained there permanently from now on. He considered his options. What could he do for him? His User was completely hysterical!

When he threatened to throw him out, the larger male noticeably flinched. It had been only mere minutes since he arrived and he was already unwanted. It only took Alba a split second to decide that he would not stand for that. He would not go without a fight. He would not go without serving his purpose.

As quickly as he came crashing out of his shipping crate, he knelt down and scooped Embry off of the floor and cradled him up in his arms. "You are hysterical," he declared, stating the obvious. "I recommend returning to bed." Against something so much stronger, it was doubtful that Embry's struggles would get him anywhere. Alba began moving around the apartment, blindingly seeking a room with a bed. As he did this, he continued to speak. "If you did not what to be called James Bond, then you should not have given that answer." Then, he dropped the big one. The one that would hopefully deter his User from wanting to get rid of him. "I will be killed if you do not want me. The contract states that I must be returned to the Love Me Corporation if I am not wanted. I will be deactivated, my memories wiped, and be entirely disassembled. I exist only for you."

[crow]

Embry might have screamed a little when Alba picked him up. Maybe more than a little. Okay, maybe a lot. The memory of 'I'm into hardcore bondage' was fresh and present in his mind. Bed was just about the last place he wanted to go with Alba right now, and no amount of squirming or yelling was enough to free him. Eventually he gave up and hung limp in Alba's arms, doing his best impression of a complete and utter deadweight. He might have been laughing, weakly, but it might have been sobbing too. Considering the morning he'd had, it was hard to tell.

The tail end of Alba's speech snapped him out of his hysteria, however. His eyes widened, then narrowed as he frowned sceptically. "Hey, wait, you can't die. Didn't you just say you were some kind of robot? Robots can't die, they're just parts." Actually, maybe he shouldn't have pointed that out, for the sake of his own mental well-being if nothing else. Alba wasn't going to get all Terminator on him, was he? How was he going to sleep with something like that in the house?

Wait wait wait wait. No. Hold up. He wasn't seriously starting to think like he might actually keep him. He sat up, doing his best to look stern as he said, "Look, there's really been some kind of mistake. Are you... trying to get away from someone, maybe? I'm not heartless, I'll help you out if you want, just... I don't really do the whole cohabitation... thing. Especially not with strangers." Hey, that sounded reasonable, right? He was pretty proud of himself with managing this well when he had been slapping himself silly a moment ago.

[ToxicShadow]

Screaming, being dead weight, nothing Embry did seemed to bother Alba. He wasn't human, so loud noises didn't hurt his ears. He wasn't human, so he could physically lift a car without ever breaking a sweat. Not that he could sweat, either. Either way, he seemed like a mess, so Alba was going to do the basic things he could think of to make him feel better without pushing things too far from the get go.

As Embry rambled on and on, Alba frowned. Addressing the last thing first, he shook his head. What could he say to get through to this person? "An Artificial Personal Lover is designed to only be with their User or no one at all," he explained. "That would mean I am not running from anyone, no, and I don't need help with that sort of predicament. And I'm not exactly a stranger. I am programmed to your specifications of what you want, based on the answers given to the questions asked when you sought a companion. After selecting your entry as the winner, I was specifically selected and programmed for you. I should be your ideal companion."

They had made their way to Embry's room, Alba dropping the young man onto the bed's mattress and tossing the covers over him in a swift motion. Instead of making a move on him, he turned his back to him and stepped a few paces away. Hopefully, the space would calm him down. "As for the other thing you said... If I cannot die, then what else do you call sleeping forever? Losing your ability to think or move? To having your body break down?" He inquired, spelling it out a little better for him.

With a sudden chuckle and a shake of his head, he spoke again. "Hell, according to some human beliefs, you don't exactly die when your physical body stops working. Instead, you go to an afterlife. I don't even have that shred of hope if I am deactivated. That's it. I'm gone. I won't exist anymore."

He sighed, shaking his head again. "Just get some more rest, hm? I won't do anything. I'll wait out there," he gestured vaguely to entry of the apartment, where his crate had been left. He then made his way out of the room, without looking back at his User. Even if he didn't end up catching more sleep, then, perhaps, being left him alone would give him some time to settle his thoughts.

[crow]

"Please stop mentioning my 'specifications'," Embry groaned, covering his face with his hands. Seriously, what the hell, karma? Wasn't this a little too much retribution for one ill-conceived internet prank? Those whackjobs over at Whatever Corp. must be some real pieces of work, since anyone with half a brain could clearly tell that his answers hadn't been serious. Or maybe they were all robots masquerading as people. "My ideal companion is no companion," he said, but quickly caught himself. Okay, no, he had friends. He wasn't some kind of antisocial misanthropist. "What I mean is... I mean, I've got buddies, we hang out, it's cool, nobody talks about love or being made for each other or anything like that. Come on, I worked hard to get my own apartment! You know how long I had to put up with some jackass--- Ack!" Embry's words were cut short as Alba dropped him onto his bed, and he flailed around making muffled noises of protest for a moment before he fought his way out from the covers.

He didn't get another chance to speak though, and Alba's words gave him pause as the taller man walked away. Was... Was it really all true, what he was saying? Well, he was a robot, so... But he was a robot, so why should it matter? Still, his conscience was already tugging at him. The only thing he wanted less than having to take responsibility for someone was having to take responsibility for killing them off or... or whatever it was that happened to Alba.

"Ugh! Forget it," he said abruptly, burying his face in a pillow and kicking at his blankets. "Forget it! I'm not thinking about it anymore! Geez." It was too early and he was too hung over and who makes people think about this philosophical existentialist mumbo-jumbo at 7 AM anyway? He buried himself in his blankets and tried to sleep for all of maybe a minute, tossing and turning restlessly, before jumping out of bed and throwing open his door.

"Fine! Okay! Have it your way, you can... stay here for a bit, I guess. But there's going to be rules! First, no touching. Absolutely none. Second, my room is off limits," he said, just to be doubly safe. "Third... God, I don't know, don't make a nuisance of yourself. Wait. Wait, wait, no, I got it. We're friends. No, not even friends. We just met, and that's all there is, okay? We can be friends when we... get... there." His brain functions were still not up to speed. Cut him some slack. "And you have to get a job. I'm not paying for this. And you're moving out as soon as we find a nice place, got it?" He looked like a mess, his face still scrunched up with sleep and frustration, and he wasn't the least bit happy about giving in. But it wasn't like he was going to be able to go back to sleep with all this hanging over him so... so... "Got it?" he repeated once more, lamely.

[ToxicShadow]

Many of Embry's complaints seemed go in one ear and out the other. Alba was not taking things to heart or reacting to them, even though, once he heard something, he wasn't able to forgot unless he made the choice to. Some of what he said would have been painful, if the APL had paid them any mind. Of course, Alba just decided that Embry was having a difficult time accepting his sudden appearance. Regardless of everything, Embry was his User, and he had no intentions of being separated from him.

Alba wanted to be useful, even with being half-rejected and just not standing for it. In the short time it took Embry to come after him, he'd already situated himself happily in the kitchen. He was standing over the stove, in the middle of flawlessly frying eggs, while a fresh pot of coffee was brewing away. The APL had even located frosted chocolate sugar fluffs cereal and poured it into a bowl, though he left it dry, not expecting his User right away. From what little in the way of food he had discovered in his rummaging, it appeared that Embry had a very poor dietary habits, which was cause for concern.

He'd been happily in the middle of flipping the eggs, when he peered over his shoulder at Embry as he spewed out all of his conditions. Friends could work, he supposed. It was better than nothing. Although, he had one particular objection. "APL's are not designed to live on their own," he informed him. "I cannot have my own place, though I have no objections to... working, if that is what you want."

"You do... like fried eggs, don't you?" He changed the subject, simple as that, to the task at hand. He'd abide but whatever rules, as long as he got to stay by Embry's side. Alba has given to him for a reason, even if neither knew exactly what that was at this point, so he wasn't going anywhere if he could help it.

[crow]

The scene before him finally registered with Embry as his little speech came to an end, and his first instinct was to be indignant. "You raided my fridge?" he said, just shy of sounding surly about it. The kitchen sure smelled nice though, with the eggs frying and the coffee started. Funny, it usually smelled a lot less nice when he was the one cooking. When was the last time he actually took the trouble of frying up an egg anyway? He couldn't remember.

Well, he had pretty much given up on sleep at this point anyway. Might as well have some breakfast, if there was some being offered. He took a seat at the beat-up kitchen table, which had been a hand-me-down from one of his grandmother's friends. It looked about as old as it was, which was ancient, but it was sturdy and wooden and didn't wobble, contrary to what Embry had initially suspected. "So... You cook?" he ventured, leaning over ever so slightly to try and nonchalantly peer into the pan. He was too far away to make out anything, unfortunately. "Sure I like eggs," he said quickly. "I'll eat anything so long as it hasn't gone bad." Sometimes he even ate leftovers after they had gone off, though he didn't say so; it wasn't as if he liked it. It just seemed like a pity to waste food he'd paid for, even if it did give him stomach cramps later.

He intentionally ignored Alba's comment about not living alone. It was too soon to get into an argument again. He'd broach the subject later, maybe when his head hurt less and he could think of more compelling reasons, or at least some nice compromise alternatives. His apartment was, sadly, a one-bedroom affair, and Alba had better not expect Embry to share his room. As for the job thing... "What do you do, exactly? Chef, maybe?" It was a bit of a leap of logic to go from fried eggs to professional cook, but so far that was the only skill that Alba had displayed.

[ToxicShadow]

Embry's tone and comment rolled right off Alba's back. Once again, he was unfazed by what was going on around him. He wouldn't be deterred so easily by sour behavior and practically seemed to exist in his own little world. Rather, he moved entirely at his own pace, and didn't seem to get swept up into anyone else's. He replied quite simply with, "Well, I can't eat, but yes, I did go through the fridge to find something to cook up for you."

He flipped the eggs over once, before gazing back at Embry once more. From the shine in his eyes, he seemed incredibly enthusiastic when Embry only asked him a casual question. It was the first time he didn't sound like he absolutely didn't wanted anything to do with him. "Yes, I can cook, clean, fix appliances, anything domestic and then some. I am quite capable all around. If there's anything you need, I can do it," he assured him.

The eggs had finished cooking by the time he finished speaking, so he turned the burner off, snapped up the plate he had prepared before hand, and slide the finished product onto it before presenting it to Embry. "Here you are. I'll fetch a fork. Would you like the cereal with it now or after?" He began moving around the kitchen, as if he was entirely comfortable there.

"What I do," he repeated the question as he moved. "I have incredibly advanced learning software. I am capable of quickly and efficiently learning, so I am capable of nearly any task imaginable. I assume you have a computer with internet access?" How else would Embry have entered to win him? "I can download necessary information directly from the interwebs and I retain anything I read or hear, even if only once. Although I would lack qualifications on paper, I would be excel at even complex things."