I don’t…remember…
I want to…remember…
Bright lights. Flashes of a face. Someone saying they loved me. Who was she? Why do I keep seeing her? She haunts my dreams. I can’t close my eyes without seeing her face. She was crying. That’s what I remember. Tears swimming in her blue eyes. But who was she? I’m not sure. I wish…I wish I knew. There is an ache in my chest where my heart should be, and an emptiness inside. What is this emptiness? It feels like I’m missing something. Someone once told me that I didn’t have a soul.
But isn’t that what I am? Aren’t I not a soul without a body? Sometimes I wonder. People say that I don’t seem to be all there. That I’m nothing more than mist on the mountaintops. If I’m missing anything, then it is a body. I can’t remember the last time I felt cold, or warm, or hungry, or tired. I can’t remember the last time my feet ached or my stomach growled, or my heart beat. Did I ever have any of those things? I can’t remember.
But I want…to remember.