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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 07/24/2017 12:46 AM

Ji-sung followed Jae into the living space, but at the mention of ramen, he perked up considerably. "I'll take some," he said, sitting down next to Chan-ho and hoping he wouldn't ask any questions. If he did, he'd try his best to deflect them--he knew Jae wouldn't want to be talked about. He ate his food quietly, but grateful, then wandered into the bedroom. He eyed Jae on the bed, wondering if he was asleep yet, and carefully climbed up onto his bed where his things were waiting and rifled through his bag until he found pajamas. He changed on top of his bunk, feeling like a bird perched somewhere high as he looked out over the small bedroom, full of empty beds. Looked like he and Jae were the first ones to go to sleep.

Now changed, he shoved his bag to the end of the bed--he was short enough that it wouldn't matter, in the way of foot room--and peeked over the edge at the lump that was Jae under the covers. He opened his mouth, then immediately thought better of it, settling down and curling into a ball beneath the covers. An eventful day... but at least he'd learned a tiny bit more about Jae.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby crow » 08/10/2017 10:05 PM

Life went on. Training went on. In some ways, it wasn't much different from what Jae had been doing before. There was school; there were lessons; there was practicing on his own, when he had time, and wasn't too tired or wrung-out to do it. The training was more intense, but that wasn't the problem.

The problem was that the seven of them had to do it together, as a team.

They weren't together constantly. The rappers and the vocalists still trained separately for their respective disciplines, and there were still one-on-one sessions. But anything that could be done as a group generally was, from meals to group routines; and now that they were moved into the dorm, there was no avoiding the others even at 'home'. And it wasn't that Jae hated the other members, though it was still up in the air just how well he'd get on with most of them; but he'd always been the type who liked to be left alone, and the constant press of companionship was wearing on him.

At least there were no more incidents. The first might have spooked Chan-ho; whatever it was, he didn't try anything else. Jae was glad for that, in a tired, weary sort of way. And at least, tired and wrung out as he was these days, and away from all the comforts of home, he slept easy.

That was what he thought, anyway.

He didn't even remember what it was. He was awake before--- No, he did remember; he was just doing his best to shut it out. But he was awake, his back cold with sweat beneath the covers, his heart racing and his breathing--- Breathe. In, out. There were no hands on him. There were no voices. He could hear Hyun-jin's faint snoring from two beds over. Everything was--- everything was fine.

He breathed deep, not quite a sigh, and covered his face with his hands. He knew there would be no sleeping again tonight, no matter how tired he was.
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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 08/24/2017 11:51 PM

Ji-sung had grown used to the sounds of the dorm, of his groupmates' breathing, over time. He didn't want to come off as creepy, but it was soothing to listen to, on nights when he had trouble falling asleep. Maybe it was the ice cream's sugar weaving through his system, but he found himself scrolling through his social media feed instead of trying to sleep in spite of it.

The not-quite-silence was interrupted, suddenly, by a rush of breathing and shifting down below. Ji-sung's thumb froze on his phone screen, and he listened for a long moment before slowly sitting up and picking his way down the ladder to the floor. He'd just go to the bathroom--and on the way, he'd peek at Jae. Just to be sure the guy was alright.

Ji-sung paused and looked over his shoulder at Jae, quietly staring at the boy's mop of dark, sweat-matted hair, his heart clenching slightly in his chest for reasons he couldn't quite put into words. Something did feel wrong. "Jae," he whispered, softer than death, hands held close to his chest so he wouldn't touch the Jae-shaped lump under the covers. "Are you awake?"



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby crow » 08/25/2017 7:26 PM

Startled, Jae's eyes snapped open as he heard the creak of the ladder. He was usually sensitive enough to noise that he could tell if someone was awake, but as unsettled as he was, he hadn't noticed until Ji-sung climbed down.

It wasn't that unusual for someone to get up in the middle of the night. He lay still, waiting for Ji-sung to do whatever it was he meant to do--- go to the bathroom, most likely. But Ji-sung lingered near the bed, and Jae felt his pulse quicken again despite himself.

He'd half expected the question by the time Ji-sung asked it. That helped, at least. He dragged a hand down his face, the way someone who was tired but restless might do, surreptitiously wiping some of the sweat off his forehead in the process. "Yeah," he said, his voice still rough with sleep. "Why? Did you need something?"
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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 09/12/2017 10:30 PM

Ji-sung stared for a second as Jae moved under the covers, his throat shifting as he swallowed in thought. If he'd learned anything about Jae in the past while, it had been that there were certain things that one shouldn't pry about. He offered a smile, shifting his weight to his other foot, hoping his voice sounded casual enough. "Do you wanna go for a walk with me?" he asked on a whim, keeping his voice low. "I can't... really sleep. And instagram is boring."

He was silent for a few moments, then continued, feeling the need to explain, or make up an explanation. "It's pretty late, obviously, and... I'm kind of small, and walking outside alone is dangerous, you know... but it's a nice night, and all that... chilly, but like..." He just wanted to make sure Jae was alright, and... frankly, he felt like this was a stupid way to do so. But with all of the other boys sleeping around them, this seemed like the smartest, or least risky, idea.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby crow » 10/24/2017 12:56 AM

Whatever Jae had expected Ji-sung to say, proposing a walk together hadn't been it. He blinked in the darkness, his wide-eyed expression making him look briefly owlish. Slowly, he sat up, his blanket falling from his shoulders to scrunch up in his lap. "A walk?" he said, rubbing the vestiges of sleep from his eyes.

He thought about it. What Ji-sung said was all true, and for a moment he wasn't sure that he wanted to be outside at all, but... Then again, it wasn't as if he was going to fall asleep again, and it did seem like it might be a better alternative than lying there with his own thoughts eating at him, trying not to breathe.

"Sure," he said. "Yeah, sure, why not." He clambered off the bed and shuffled out, making his way to the walk-in closet they all shared a few steps down the hall. He shrugged out of the hoodie he slept in and put on a sweater, then a long coat over that, and traded his sweatpants for dark jeans. He wasn't about to bother with his hair, not for something like this, but it felt kind of indecent to go out with bedhead, so he raked it back with one hand and put a snapback over it. After a moment's consideration, he opted for a flu mask too.

"Where did you want to go?" he said as he retrieved his his shoes from the rack. It didn't sound like Ji-sung had anywhere in mind from the way he'd said it, actually, but he couldn't help being curious.
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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 11/12/2017 3:57 PM

Ji-sung met Jae's eyes as the boy sat up, and he felt his heartbeat quicken. Nervousness, probably--intimidation. Sure. He licked his lips and nodded, stalling as his brain worked for the right things to say. "Yeah. I just thought it might be nicer than not being able to sleep..."

He hadn't expected Jae to say yes, and he visibly looked surprised, his lips parting slightly before they settled into a smile. "Awesome," he mumbled, watching Jae get ready to go out. He supposed he should as well--he darted to the closet on Jae's heels and ducked under Jae's arm to grab his own sweater and scarf from the closet, pulling it over his nightshirt. He tugged the soft, lavender scarf over his nose as he often did, and looked up at Jae with a smile in his eyes.

"Not sure," he mused, pulling on his shoes as well. "The park nearby looks kind of fun. I think they have swings. I haven't been on swings in years..." he mused softly, tapping his toe on the floor to make sure the shoe was on comfortably. "It's close... just a block or two away. Want to?"



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby crow » 05/30/2018 1:00 AM

Ji-sung looked almost... excited about this, in a way that made Jae a little curious, but it wasn't something he could really ask about. He wasn't a great conversationalist at the best of times, and these were a far cry from the 'best' of anything for him. Wordlessly, he opened the door, just slowly enough that it would be quiet, lest he wake the others. They deserved their rest even if he wasn't getting any.

As they made their way down the stairs and out of the building, Jae breathed in deep, letting the cold air fill his lungs. Ji-sung was right; he did feel a little better. It wasn't a 'good' kind of better, but even a 'lesser of two evils' sort of thing was an improvement, and the chill gave his brain something else to focus on. "The playground, huh..." He looked down at his shoes. When was the last time he had gone? He couldn't remember, but he didn't want to dwell on it, in case it ended up bringing up a memory he didn't want to touch. "Alright. You lead, then."
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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 06/09/2018 12:45 AM

It was eerily quiet, that time of night, when there weren't many cars--if any--on the road and the rush of the city was slowing down. Ji-sung's ears tingled slightly at the sound of Jae's deep breath, and it prompted him to do the same, the fringe of his scarf tickling his nose. He brightened considerably when Jae finally acquiesced to his probably childish destination. "Sure thing! I kinda memorized the route, because I really wanted to go check it out," he babbled for a moment, just filling the quiet.

Until they were only about halfway there, and he'd chattered on and off, and finally, Ji-sung fell silent. It wasn't awkward, necessarily, like that time in the dance studio. It was a bit more comfortable, his lungs aching slightly from the cold. A good, grounding pain, just soft enough to bear. He didn't speak again until the small park came into sight, and he raised a finger to point at it, looking over at Jae. "Here we are," he said, eyes shining as he hurriedly crossed the road, not bothering to look for cars on such an empty street.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby crow » 07/31/2018 9:38 PM

Jae offered some half-hearted comments in response to Ji-sung's chatter, but he was just as content to lapse into silence when Ji-sung ran out of things to talk about. He was aware, distantly, that it might have been cold of him, but Jae simply didn't have much to say.

He almost didn't notice when they'd arrived. It was only when Ji-sung called out that he looked up, and lo and behold, there it was--- a playground, set up in the corner of a park in the middle of the city. Rows and rows of uniform apartment buildings rose up around it, but in winter, at this time of night, it was empty.

Well, almost empty. In the distance, he could hear the incoherent yelling of a drunk. For a moment, Jae's expression soured, but he still followed Ji-sung across the road.

"What did you want to do here, anyway?" he said.
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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 08/16/2018 3:53 AM

Ji-sung made his way towards a swingset, clearly set on checking it out. He almost didn't notice the yelling in the distance, though it seemed to draw his attention as he reached the other side of the road and his shoes met grass. His attention was quickly caught, however, by Jae's question. He cracked a slow, sheepish smile, shrugging his shoulders. "Swing, mostly," he admitted, pointing towards the old swingset with a small shine to his eyes.

As he walked over there and sat down on one of the swings, he pressed the ball of his foot into the ground and pushed off gently, swinging a little ways back and forth so that he could keep talking without too much interruption. "See, I grew up in the country with my grandparents. There was this tree, right outside their lake house, up on this high hill. Had this old wooden swing tied to it... Grandmother scolded me for swinging on it, because it was a rickety tree and the rope holding up the swing was fraying. Still snuck out and did it, though... especially at night."

His rambling was back full force, it seemed, as he started to push himself a little further, his shoe scuffing the grass as he did. "Because at night, like... the hill overlooked the lake. And you could see the moon on the water... it was like something out of a movie, you know? Or a storybook..." he trailed off, thinking for a long moment, just letting the swing take him to and fro without any more propulsion from his feet. It squeaked each time he passed a certain point. "In the end, Grandmother was right. The rope did break... she never let me hear the end of it."



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby crow » 08/29/2018 2:00 AM

"Swings?" said Jae, echoing Ji-sung's words with an expression of undisguised surprise. Of all the answers he was expecting, clearly this wasn't it. But then again, what had he expected anyway? He thought on it, and found he couldn't say.

He himself didn't have much experience with playgrounds. Everything here felt like the stage setting of some distant fairy-tale memories, so far back and filled with sunshine and laughter that they felt surreal against the backdrop of everything else. Here, at night, under the flickering street lights and the chill of winter, it felt like he had returned to the carcass of a dream, stripped bare of all its magic.

Ji-sung's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and the ghost of whatever vision he saw vanished with it. It was just a playground, metal bars and plastic parts, its color washed out by the dull lighting. Ji-sung was sitting in a swing, just as he said he would. Meanderingly, as if he didn't quite mean to do it, Jae joined him on the next one over, though it was far too low for him. His legs were bent uncomfortably close, his hands draped loosely in his lap.

He listened quietly to Ji-sung's story and tried to imagine it, but he couldn't. Jae had lived in the city his whole life. He wasn't sure he'd seen any of his grandparents since maybe second grade.

"Say," he said. His voice was quiet, but even then it felt too loud, a stone thrown into the gentle peace that Ji-sung had constructed. "Why... Why did you decide to become an idol?"
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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 11/06/2018 8:10 PM

Ji-sung's wistful expression dissolved into attentiveness as he looked up to meet Jae's eyes. The question gave him pause, a momentary break in the motor-mouth spillage of thoughts he'd been producing, as his eyes lingered on the angle of Jae's bent legs.

It hit him that they were probably too old for this whole playground swing thing. The thought made him smile, his eyes immediately dulling with a sad nostalgia. "Singing... means a lot to me," he started, unsure of where to start in any kind of chronology--so the factual statement would have to do as a beginning. "Always has, I... I really liked musicals, growing up. Disney... you know, those animated movies, and such. And the old songs my grandmother taught me--she said my voice was beautiful and that I should do something with it. I didn't really want to, though... Didn't want to make this important thing I loved into a job." He leaned his cheek on the cold chain of the swing's handles, eyes trailing across the edge of the park, mottled by dark shadows in the distance. "But when that swing broke--the one I mentioned before, I was in the hospital for a good long while. My neck and back were, uhm... I was hurt bad, and there was nothing to do. So... I sang. A lot."

Ji-sung had lapsed into momentary silence, lost in some antiseptic, painkiller-dulled memory. He blinked hard after a moment and drew in a breath, regaining his smile and perking up slightly. "And it helped me deal with things. So I decided... if I got some job where I couldn't sing a lot, I don't think I'd be very happy. That's... that's why." He cringed a bit, wondering if Jae minded his long-windedness. Probably. It was hard to summarize his thoughts into something short--they spilled out of him without any sort of fettering. "What... what about you?" he offered the exchange, looking over at Jae with soft eyes. "If you wanna say, I mean..."



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby crow » 08/18/2019 2:20 AM

Jae turned his gaze to his own feet as Ji-sung spoke. Something about Ji-sung's words... Jae couldn't look him in the eye, afraid of what he might read in Ji-sung's expression. It sounded so... clean when Ji-sung said it, as though being an idol really could be someone's earnest, honest dream. Jae was the one who had asked, but it felt as though every word was a new weight upon his chest.

Envy was a flaw, he reminded himself; and what did it say about him that he thought this was something to be envied? Ji-sung's history, as he was learning, wasn't without its own share of pain. But that didn't make the feeling go away. Instead, a pang of self loathing coiled itself tighter around his insides. He took a deep breath, long and slow, drawing the cold into himself.

What about him? Yes, why indeed? A part of him wanted to laugh, but that wouldn't have helped anything.

Jae wrapped his arms around the chains of his swing, then leaned his head back, eyes closed. "Someone scouted me," he said, though maybe Ji-sung knew that part already. It wasn't exactly a secret, and sometimes the other trainees liked to gossip about how they came to the company, as if that were some sort of predictor for who would debut. And maybe it was; Jae didn't know. He only knew that he had to, he absolutely had to... That he would work as hard as he had to to make it happen.

He could have stopped there. Usually he did, and let people fill in the blanks as they liked. Maybe he had been flattered. Maybe he'd thought it would be easy money. Maybe his parents pushed him into it; maybe they tried to dissuade him and he was doing this to spite them.

Anything but the petty, feeble truth of it.

But Ji-sung had just laid so much bare, and somehow, it felt... different with him. Jae couldn't have said why, exactly. Maybe it was just that Ji-sung didn't make him feel like a spectacle, like every ugly thing about him existed to sate someone else's curiosity. Slowly, he rocked his swing with his feet still planted on the ground.

"We needed money," Jae said. He had meant to make the words--- what? Bitter? Offhand? In the end, it was neither. His voice was quiet, soft with shame. "My family, we don't... My dad runs a chicken shop. I wasn't... good at anything. But I thought maybe if I could do this, I could take care of him."
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Re: Lost Boys [P; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 12/11/2019 2:54 PM

Ji-sung nodded, at first, in response to Jae's initial words. He'd learned early on that it was rather strange he himself wasn't scouted--he'd often shared his own story (albeit a more truncated version that usually settled on 'I just really love singing') and got others' in return, all short. This one, perhaps, would be no different.

But then there was more, and Ji-sung's slow nod stopped short. He watched Jae's face in the dim orange streetlight that glowed a few meters away. Jae's voice was often quiet, but never this flavor of quiet, and Ji-sung took sharp notice, his chest tightening slightly as Jae went on.

"That's a good reason," he finally said, after a few beats of silence, a soft earnestness in his voice that he hoped translated well. He wanted to say more--felt he had more to say, but couldn't bubble it up to the surface. It lay heavy and silent in the pit of his stomach. Things he would say if he and Jae were closer. Things he'd ask about his childhood, about if he liked KUN-A, if he felt like this was good for him. They were questions that Ji-sung silently asked himself, and never answered. It was a little dangerous to ask those questions, anyway. Safer to just be satisfied with the present.

"I'm glad you're here," he finally added, looking up and over at Jae, peering around the metal chain that held up his swing. "I mean... in the group, and out here with me, both." He smiled, though his chest ached for reasons he couldn't place. He willed it to be quiet and settle.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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