[crow]

Chan-ho hadn't expected to be grabbed, but nevertheless he went limp immediately. Habit. Old habit, that he hadn't had the time to cure, because no one had threatened him like that since---

Really, he had no right to think anything about Jae. He was just as bad. And there was no guarantee that this defense mechanism would even serve him here. Young-soo's anger wasn't the same as the vindictive boredom of a playground bully, whose interest was only held by the fear and panic of a terrified victim. The smile he put up was almost like a flinch.

But the blow never came, and slowly, Chan-ho let out a breath. It shook slightly, an oddly vulnerable detail beneath his unaffected veneer.

He couldn't quite bring himself to look at Young-soo's face anymore. Never noticed the way the other boy had stared at him. Maybe he would have said something else if he had.

Instead, he said, "You know we can't keep doing this, right? The comeback is in a week." It had mostly been practices and the odd appearance here and there, but after the album dropped, their schedule would be packed with a slew of group engagements. "If we can't sit next to each other or have a civil conversation, the media is going to have a field day." And if Young-soo didn't give a damn about Chan-ho anymore, at least he ought to still care about that.

[zapdragon555]

At least Chan-ho was talking in a normal voice again. That cleared some of the fog of rage from Young-soo's brain, though he kept his hand buried in the fabric. It was soft. Softer than he'd predicted it to be against his palms, which felt so hot with all the blood pulsing through him. Don't think about that.

It was better to focus on the damn texture of Chan-ho's clothes because Chan-ho was talking sense, and Young-soo hated it. He didn't want to hear what he knew was true. Then again, he wasn't entirely sure what he wanted to hear, or what he wanted in general. He suddenly brought his other hand up to grab the other side of Chan-ho's collar, trying to jerk the boy's head (gently, far more gently than before) in a direction that would make their eyes meet again. "You think I don't know that," he muttered, not a question. He was silent for a moment, licked his lips, then scoffed softly, a kind of monosyllabic laugh that shook a bit. On closer observation... it almost looked like Young-soo had dark circles under his eyes, partially hidden by concealer. Not that it mattered. "Sorry I'm not much for civil conversation right now," he said derisively, but there wasn't more than an ounce of venom in his voice. Too tired to bite.

[crow]

As the tension ebbed from Young-soo, so too did Chan-ho relax. Now that he could sense that he wasn't going to get hit, he took a long considering look at Young-soo. He had sort of sensed the taut tiredness plaguing the other boy as of late, but he hadn't known the full extent. Up close, he looked almost haggard. It wasn't what he had expected to see, and his gaze softened slightly.

"So," he said, "what exactly do you want from me?" His tone was soft too now, so that it was a question, an honest question, not sarcasm or a rhetorical barb. The urge to make a joke of it was there--- boy, was it ever. This wasn't comfortable for him even without the threat of getting slugged.

But he was tired too. It was draining, being at odds like this. If someone had told him two months ago that this was what they'd stop talking over, he would have laughed in their face. It was still hard to wrap his mind around why Young-soo had reacted the way he did, and Chan-ho was in uncharted territory as far as they were concerned. This Young-soo, bitter and weary, was a stranger to him. "You know. So we can go back to civil conversation."

[zapdragon555]

Young-soo's fingers twitched in the fabric Chan-ho's shirt, finally loosening altogether and letting it go. His hands hovered for a moment, then hung by his sides. If he didn't know any better, he thought he sensed earnestness in Chan-ho's voice. He wished it were an easy question to answer. Even so, he took his time, several beats of silence passing before he spoke. "An apology, for starters," he muttered softly. "And it better be good."

How lame. Really, he felt a tightness in his chest just thinking of Chan-ho apologizing--it wouldn't do any good. What would fix things? What would make him sleep better? And stop having such... awful dreams... Young-soo's breath hitched for a moment as he swallowed. "And..." he said on impulse, more forcefully than he really meant to. He was silent, looking away, breaking eye contact to look around. Empty. They were the only ones in there. "Hah," he began, a rough laugh escaping him. "Okay... first, an apology. Let's go with that."

[crow]

Chan-ho had sort of expected that. He didn't speak right away, however. It would have been easy to do it, easy to find the words and make them sound sincere, to say that he was wrong and he regretted everything, or that he was a fool and an idiot. Maybe both. Maybe more. It wasn't as if Chan-ho was a stranger to the concept of apologizing. He never did like fights.

But there had been a reason he hadn't done it a week ago, three weeks ago, and there was a reason he didn't right this minute. Those glib words might have held some truth, some genuine contrition, but the best lies couldn't be spun whole cloth. The detached part of him argued that it was merely a matter of practicality--- that Young-soo probably knew his tells by now, at least a little.

The other, less pragmatic part, the part that Chan-ho deliberately didn't think about as much as possible, nagged at him with something else. Would he be satisfied if Young-soo bought a fake apology? Did Chan-ho want him to know his tells?

"Okay," he said, finally. Took a deep breath and looked--- not down, that was no good. A little past Young-soo's shoulder. Better. "I'm sorry... you know. About the..." What could he call it? Clearly it hadn't been just a prank, not for Young-soo, anyway. And he knew from years of being on the other end that the perpetrator didn't get to dictate the terms of the victim's pain. "I didn't want to hurt you, and I'm... sorry that I did."

It said a lot about the kind of person that he was that he could already feel his heart speeding up, palms starting to sweat a little. His pulse seemed to live in his entire body just then. For most people it was the opposite. You were supposed to feel like that when you lied. But he'd grown too used to hiding, and he didn't like feeling like this, raw and exposed. He bit his lip--- another one of those nervous little things he never let himself do anymore, unless it was on camera as part of a sultry affectation--- and said, more quietly, "And I want my best friend back. I don't know if that's possible but I really miss him, you know?"

[zapdragon555]

The longer Chan-ho waited to respond, the more Young-soo began to believe that this apology, no matter how much thought was put into it, wouldn't fix the gnarled twisted thing around his heart. The boy's words, when they finally came--even though by all factors they should've been more than enough--only confirmed his thoughts. Because it wasn't even about the prank anymore, really. It wasn't...

That last part, however... that did resonate with him. It made the thing around his heart tighten, fists tightening in kind.

"I'm not sure you're gonna want him back after I tell you this," the words impulsively tumbled out with a smirk that didn't belong there. His insides froze, concrete under skin for a few moments, as his brain tried frantically to murder his heart before it could push any more of that thought out of his mouth. He twitched, once again mentally acknowledging that there was no one else in the dorm. Alone. But his mouth felt sealed shut, for the time being. On the outside, it just looked as though he was choosing his words carefully.

[crow]

Chan-ho was waiting for a response, but he didn't get anything like what he thought. When Young-soo's hands tightened, for a sickening moment he thought he might really get smacked this time. Which would have been really funny, not ha ha funny, because he'd actually been trying this time.

It was probably a good thing for his moral compass, all things considered, that he didn't really get punched.

He waited, wide eyed and expectant, for what Young-soo was about to say, but the longer the moment dragged on, the more it looked like it wasn't going to happen.

Well, it wasn't an outright rejection. He could work with that.

"Tell me what? Come on, tell me what?" he said. When still there was no response, he let a small rueful smile slip into his features. "I'm serious. What do I have to do? Lend you my VITA? Wash your feet, scrub your back? Oh, I know, three vouchers for twenty-four hours of me being your personal servant. How's that? You can order me to do anything you want." He winked suggestively, nudging Young-soo gently with an elbow.

"Or," he said, his tone deliberately light, so that it didn't mean anything more than it should, "or I could take you on a real date. Somewhere nice. I mean, I can't do anything about..." He motioned to himself. "... But I can still show you a good time." He really could, too. He was a great date, nine out of ten girls agreed. And eight of those ten girls had even met him before he was famous.

[zapdragon555]

Young-soo frowned slightly when Chan-ho pressed him, but at the suggestions, he couldn't help a humorous smile begin to twitch onto his face. Stupid Chan-ho--he knew how to joke around in such a way that would lighten Young-soo's mood, and up until now, Young-soo had been damn good at ignoring it. But now, with Chan-ho in his face, the air bordering on casual for the first time in a very long time... he couldn't help it.

And then, Chan-ho (perhaps unwillingly) provided him an out, from his admission. "A date?" Young-soo hummed, sounding like he was considering it. When Chan-ho motioned to himself, Young-soo felt his expression soften against his own will. "As long as you don't wear that fucking wig again, yeah. I'll take you up on that. Take me on a date, Chan-ho," he said with a small smirk that looked too giddy to be mischievous. He was having a hard time hiding his emotions, and he blamed catharsis, incomplete as it was.

"Something low-key, though. Seriously. I haven't slept good in weeks." He wondered if Chan-ho would still hound him about what he'd almost said, but hadn't. Young-soo, at the moment at least, didn't particularly care--if it came, it would come later, probably.

[crow]

Chan-ho blinked for a second, caught off guard by Young-soo's reply. "Wait, for real?" he said, wide eyed, half convinced it couldn't be that easy. And truth be told he'd mostly been joking when he made the offer, because he hadn't actually thought that was what Young-soo wanted, at all.

But hey, he was the one who offered. There were worse things to have to do than hang out with Young-soo for a day, even if he was probably going to pay for everything this time. "Are you sure?" he said. "The three day slave contract is still on the table, you know." Just to be sure. Just to double check. Not because he wasn't a great date, because he was, but after all that, he had thought a date with him was the last thing Young-soo would have gone for. The thought occurred to him that it could be a matter of revenge, a chance to humiliate Chan-ho this time around, but if that was all it was, he probably deserved it. And Chan-ho was an old hand at playing the fool.

"But if you're sure... meet me tomorrow evening, and I'll work something out. You're free, right?"

[zapdragon555]

Young-soo got a kind of satisfaction in seeing Chan-ho so visibly floored for a few seconds. He recovered quickly, Young-soo gave him that. He felt strange, of course, talking to the person he'd spent weeks avoiding, but somehow it was as though his heart were falling back into a familiar place, loosened from those thorny bonds he'd kept it under. Not completely freed, for the anxiety over the fact that he hadn't fully confessed anything at all was still there, but loose enough for him to allow a smile on his face.

"Yeah, pretty sure I'm free," he answered with a nod. If not, he'd make time, somehow. "The slave contract is tempting, but honestly, I think I'd prefer this. It'd be more fun, y'know." He tried to keep his tone casual, but really, he missed this. The anxiety in his chest seemed to buoy into something more light and airy, now that he was near to and talking to the subject of his thoughts for the past several weeks.

[crow]

"Alright then," Chan-ho said, still a little baffled despite himself. Not so much at the prospect of the date--- though Young-soo taking him up on it had definitely been unexpected--- but more at how it had gone from being so thoroughly ignored to this. "Tomorrow." He'd have to scramble a bit, but... his smile was a relieved one.

In the end he was forced to be glad that Young-soo had requested something low key. His instinct was always to make things as grandiose as he could, but there was only so much he could do on short notice. Not that he couldn't have come up with something, if he put his mind to it, but it would have been a challenge.

He compensated for it by dressing nice. As nicely as he could, anyway, within the bounds of reason. A sharp blazer jacket over a nice button-down shirt in purple, which flattered him more, rather than red like he liked. Slacks in place of his ripped jeans. His hair was slicked back like it might have been for a performance. And wasn't that what this was, a little? A show for one. He'd even done up his make-up. Nothing dramatic like before, but his blemishes were smoothed over and his features refined. Young-soo had said no wig, but he never said anything about makeup.

Jae gave him a funny look as he walked out the door, but TK roped him into a conversation before he could stare too long. The shorter boy glanced in Chan-ho's direction and smiled, just a little. Chan-ho grinned back before ducking out. He was proud, really. TK had the makings of a fine wingman.

He waited at the bus stop, sunglasses on, trying to look at once inconspicuous and smooth. Girls stopped to stare at him; a few of them whispered. The urge to stop and flirt was almost instinctive by now, but he held himself in check.

Tonight, by the laws of dating, he belonged to someone else. There would be time enough for games later. He'd be theirs again tomorrow.

[zapdragon555]

Young-soo had been adamant about keeping up the appearance of not caring too much about this whole thing. It was difficult, without dressing like a total slob—but he'd put on a fairly nice jacket and slacks, his hair styled in something more like he wore on stage. Looking at himself in the mirror of the dorm bathroom... he felt a bit strange. The fact that this was actually happening... even if it was casual... Chan-ho was still calling it a 'date.' Young-soo hated how his heart fluttered at that.

But maybe he didn't have to hate it so strongly. Maybe he could just... roll with it, for the time being. Just because his heart was being funky didn't mean he had to make a big drama about it.

He reminded himself, cringing, that he'd already done that by ignoring Chan-ho for three weeks. Whoops.

Eventually he managed to get himself out the door and towards the street. He'd get a taxi, so he wouldn't have to pay much attention. In his half-sleep deprived state (last night's sleep wasn't much better, which he chalked up to excitement and a relief that was too strong for his body to properly process), and buzzing mind, he didn't trust himself to get off at the right bus stop. He waved one down, got inside, and mutely murmured the address to the driver. Looking down at his hands in the back seat, Young-soo clenched them into loose fists and finally allowed himself to smile. As long as Chan-ho didn't try anything this time... maybe... just maybe, this would be a lot of fun.

[crow]

The bus ride was uneventful. The staring and whispering continued, but he was used to it; there might have been a couple of girls in the back who actually recognized him, from what he could catch of their hushed and furious conversation. At one point he even saw another man checking him out, which would have been much more flattering if the guy wasn't the wrong side of forty. But no one accosted him, and when he got off, he tapped his bus card out like everyone else.

Okay, so he winked at the girls in the back. And stepped off right as their awestruck silence broke into furitive exclamations. It was Chan-ho. He could only tone himself down so much.

But no one really looked up as he wound his way around the streets of Gangnam, and he could feel the grin spreading across his face as he rounded the corner to the restaurant. It had actually been a bit of a challenge, planning around someone who already knew his usual haunts. That was why he picked this particular restaurant. It was impossible to miss, with massive red lanterns framing a door built in the old style, while wide windows showcased the thoroughly modern interior. It was one of his favorite places to eat, though he seldom had the chance, between the figure he needed to keep and the price of the food here. Even Young-soo didn't really know about it.

Fortunately, today he had an excuse to splurge.

"Reservation for two please," he said, then rattled off his phone number. The waiter manning the door showed him to his table, a little booth tucked into a corner, next to a window overlooking a garden. He was the first to arrive, which was good; and he hadn't really been here all that long, but he couldn't help watching the entrance anyway. Young-soo couldn't have gotten lost, right?

[zapdragon555]

Somewhere along the line, Young-soo's mood had stabilized into positivity. Chan-ho hadn't told him where the address led, but the area of town was nice-looking--expensive, too. Hadn't he said to keep it low key? He smiled slightly, a certain kind of affection rising up in his chest. Chan-ho tended to go all out, even on short notice, or at least all-out compared to some people.

When he arrived at the place, his brows raised at the decor. It was really nice, honestly. The exterior had an old aesthetic to it, but upon walking in, the place looked pretty darn high-end. He walked in, a little bewildered by the question of whether or not he had a reservation. Assuming Chan-ho got here before him... he gave Chan-ho's phone number and hoped for the best. Luckily, Chan-ho hadn't been fashionably late, unlike Young-soo. "Dang, nice place, man," Young-soo chuckled, one thumb hooked into his pants pocket as he walked up to the booth where Chan-ho sat. He blinked at how the other was dressed. It... really suited him. Wow.

[crow]

Chan-ho spotted Young-soo as the latter walked through the door, and immediately waved him over. At first, Young-soo's casual outfit made Chan-ho wonder if he'd overdressed for the occasion, but then he clocked the hair, and the jacket--- one of Young-soo's nicer ones, which he saved for special occasions, or for when he needed a confidence boost. Chan-ho wondered which it was, tonight.

"Isn't it?" said Chan-ho, grinning as he stood. Crossing over to Young-soo's side of the table, he pulled the chair out, then indicated the seat with a flourish. "After you," he said, though the effect was maybe ruined slightly by the fact that Chan-ho had been sitting when Young-soo arrived. Ah well. It was the thought that counts, right?