by Mousen » 08/31/2018 5:17 PM
It was a few days later when it struck Atlas that he had a phone call he needed to make. He excused himself from Rexus' side and sat on the porch with a cigarette, the smoke curling around him. After a moment of watching the grasses sway in the wind he took his phone from his coat pocket.
He scrolled down to the bottom of his contacts, a practised gesture, and waited for her to pick up.
"Zari," he said.
"Thank Zu'hai," The relief in her voice was audible. "It's been months. Atlas, I've been wondering whether to tell Morte about you for weeks now. I was so worried. What on earth happened?"
"I- a lot."
"Are you okay?" She had a bright voice that came through clearly despite the slightly weak connection. Her accent was difficult to place, a little musical.He skipped a beat before replying and she interrupted him. "Physically, I mean?"
"Injured, not dead. I'll be fine."
She clucked her tongue. "Mentally?"
"...Getting there?"
"Do you need me to come and get you?"
"No, I'm all right."
"Start explaining."
He explained, starting from stumbing across Rexus' house in the rain that day, right up until his breakdown in the bathroom. The way he way he felt like the walls were closing in, how he didn't know how to not keep hurting him, how he didn't know what to do.
"Tell him! Say, 'I love you more than everything on this green earth and I don't know what to do with myself anymore, because I've only ever known how to run away from things.' Let him help you."
Asking Rexus for help hadn't even struck him. "What if I'm just burdening him, and you, and everyone?"
"We care, you moron. We don't want you to go. I let you and don't say anything because sometimes I think its what you need, but its not healthy to just keep running and running. I felt like I was loosing you and it was terrifying. You'll always be my brother and I'll always love you no matter what, but I wish you'd come to me with your problems rather than pushing me away when you get like this. Just talk to me or Rexus or someone before you decide what we want or what's best for us. He must love you, Atlas. Stop assuming people won't want you around."
"Thank you." He ran a hand through his hair, suddenly a little emotional. "I'm sorry, I never asked. How're you?
"I mean, Belias proposed two weeks ago."
He choked on the air, pressing a hand to his ribcage. "The hell, Zari? Why didn't you say!?"
"I was waiting for you to get your head out of your ass. Also, I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were okay first."
"Yeah. When-- should I come to see you?"
"You should come home."
"I will. Congratulations, Zariah. You're all grown up, now."
"If you make it home soon, I'll be able to say the same to you."
"I'll speak to you soon. Send Belias my best. Thank you for everything."
"I'll see you soon, Atlas. Take care of yourself."
We’re all hysterical & going nowhere together.
C’mon rapture. Let’s go bedazzling.
Nothing gets futured without its own spitshine
& I’m already not not not not not not miraculous.