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The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Citanul » 10/18/2015 1:25 PM

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This could not have come at a worse time. He'd always spoken of wanting a family, and even though he had loved and cared for Reed, it still felt as if something was missing. ....Well, there was still something missing, in raising children by yourself. He had panicked at the two bundles of pink blankets being left with him and had scrounged in the house for everything he had still kept of Reed's, even asking a neighbor to borrow a can of formula for when the little girls woke. Not that he didn't love them already, no, of course he did, but this wasn't how he envisioned raising his own kids.

With a few frantic calls to Reed and some friends it left him with no other options. Reed was on his way to perform at their little get-together for the benefit of the diner, but he was still six hours out. The girls needed things before then, he knew that much. Sighing to himself he watched them in their crib, quietly sleeping, before walking into the kitchen to make a phone call.

And of course, there was no answer. Kasari was picking the kids up from school. He left a message anyway, trying not to sound too frantic.

"Hey Kas, it's Itzal. I... I have a situation, and I need you over at the house as soon as you can get here. The kids can come, I just... I need some help for a few hours, and I'll explain everything when you get here."

Hopefully he didn't sound like too much of a mess over the phone.


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[Roshan, Natela]
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Re: The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Kallile » 10/18/2015 1:41 PM

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As soon as she'd gotten the message, she'd sent both kids upstairs with a snack and a warning for Milo to listen to his sister, for Alana to be fair while she was in charge, and above all else not to come downstairs or unlock any doors ever until she got back home. Itzal's voice had sounded so strained and his words had come out so quickly that she'd barely made out the message. It would be best that the children stayed home...just in case soemthing gruesome had happened.

It took a few extra minutes to allow for a reroute back to Itzal's house (a place she'd only visited a few time before and almost exclusively after dark when the diner had closed), she closed the car door behind her and trotted up to the front door. She was still in her work cloths--paint-splattered and ripped jeans, a t-shirt with a few holes here and there, and her mess of blue-streaked hair tossed up into a messy bun that was held down by a black bandanna. She knocked rather urgently, hoping that Itzal hadn't cut himself or done something similar that might leave her to find him unconscious. He wouldn't call in the middle of the day like this if it wasn't truly urgent...

"Itzal? It's Kas...open up!" she called when there wasn't an immediate answer.
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Citanul » 10/18/2015 1:49 PM

Itzal breathed a sigh of relief as he heard Kasari at the other side of the door. Luckily only one of the little ones had woken, and for now she seemed content to lay in her father's arms. He quickly opened up the door, motioning for Kasari to come inside as well as he could while holding the infant.

"I... Shit. I had this big explaination for you and I know you probably never want to see me after this, but I don't trust anyone else, Kas." Of course he was strained and a little weary. Kasari would think he was an utter failure at this point. No better than the men who had walked out on her before.

Running a hand through his dark hair he tried to calm his jumbled thoughts enough to answer her concerned look. "I messed up. But I'm going to make it right." He lead her carefully over to the crib he had hastily set up in the living room, laying the bundle in his arms back next to her sister. "...It was a one night stand. I was careful, but... Not careful enough. She sent them to an orphanage, Kas. How can you do that? At least they had the decency to contact me. I want to give them a good life."

He stroked a hand lovingly over Roshan's pale hair, a smile quirking on his lips as she gurgled happily. The twins couldn't be more than perhaps a month or two old, small as they were. "I just... I understand if you don't want anything to do with me, but I needed someone to watch them so I can go to the store and get... Everything. I don't have a lot left from when Reed was this little. Once I can get them carseats and a stroller they can go out with me, but... I don't have any of that here."

He hoped she would help. If only for a few hours, for a panicked father who hadn't expected any of this.
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Re: The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Kallile » 10/18/2015 2:09 PM

When Itzal answered the door, Kasari's eyes almost instantly fell to the infant with a mild look of confusion on her face. Maybe Reed and Cadence had finally broken their 'no kids' rule and had dumped them on grandpa for the day, she thought to herself as she tried to rationalize. Lifting her aqua gaze back to Itzal's face she followed him in something of a daze as they crossed the hall and into a room that held a crib...and a second baby.

Impulsively her hand reached up to rub the skin just above her lip while also covering her mouth from view. It was a look Itzal had seen before--and usually when either of her own children had done something wrong and she was trying to decide a fitting punishment for the crime. Her mind was spinning and she could barely focus on the words he was saying to her. A one night stand...these were his kids.

For a long moment she said and felt nothing. Numbness consumed her for a moment as things began to sink in and click while she stared down into the crib filled with two little pink-swaddled bundles. She felt the pit of her stomach suddenly become empty and angry--the sinking feeling she always got just before tears started flowing. She choked back the advance, leveling her gaze on Itzal as she drew in a long and shaken breath between her fingers before pulling her hand back down to cross her arms uncomfortably in front of her.

Her mind whirled through all the things she would like to say and even through the idea of just turning around and walking away without a single word being said. Just run before the pain could truly overtake her, run back to her own family and forget Itzal had ever been allowed into it. She bit her tongue: she still needed his help and these kids, though they were the last tiny people she wanted to see right now, deserved proper care. Would she honestly feel better about herself going to the store knowing an out-of-practice dad was left in charge of to infants...or would she rather stay with them and let him spend his own money?

"You need to go." The words came out broken and somewhat commanding. "I'll stay with them but you..." Her voice fully gave and cracked this time just before her hand shot back up to cover her mouth to hide the contortion of her mouth to that of crying from Itzal's gaze. Looking at him, knowing he had went off and had kids with a stranger that he was now asking her to watch over was more than she could handle. Not while he stood there staring at her pleadingly.

"I can't look at you anymore right now."
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Citanul » 10/18/2015 8:13 PM

Though he would have understood if she had just walked out and left, Itzal was grateful that she had stayed. Even if this was the last place on Evelon she wanted to be right now somehow he knew she'd help, if only this once. A glance to her face was all he needed to know about their budding relationship - that whatever they may have had, he had messed up.

There wasn't much time to worry about it now though. Nodding as he was spoken to he looked around for a moment, grabbing his coat and his keys. "I won't be long, I'll just get the things we need for a few days. John, the neighbor next door, he gave me some formula and diapers if you need them." It was the bare minimum he could say, biting his lip to keep himself from rambling as he did as he was told. They were safe with Kasari, as much as she may hate them. They were innocent of all of their father's sin, he hoped.

True to his word Itzal was gone for only fourty-five minutes, having found the closest baby store and bought what he figured he would need. Enough to get by until Reed and Cadence came and he could sneak out to get anything he had missed. It was a lot - but with two little ones to care for he figured it had to be enough. Formula and diapers for sure, a couple of rather simple outfits, blankets, pacifiers, and of course a diaper bag one of the ladies there had stuffed with some samples of things for him.

It only took him two trips to get everything inside, with the carseats remaining out in his car, and he was careful as he approached the nursery, wringing the strap of the diaper bag in his hands. "...I... I really appreciate the help, Kasari. Reed should be here within a few days, and we'll put on the concert and finish the diner. This doesn't change that." Even through everything, this wouldn't change him helping her. He had made a promise and that was not going to change.

"Did they wake up?" He asked quietly, the twins obviously asleep now. "If not, I should get them up and feed them." Reed had never been this small when he had the boy, he took 'custody' of him when he was a toddler, but a few probing questions to the ladies at the counter and some research later lead him to believe they could be put on something of a schedule, and it may make their lives easier.
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Re: The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Kallile » 10/18/2015 9:21 PM

As he made his exit, Kasari gave in to her emotions and sobbed.

How could he? How could he come back spouting all this about wanting to care for her and her kids when he knew damn well he'd been hooking up with women long before that moment. How could he look her in the eyes so innocently when he said those things? When he touched her hands, hugged her close. How could he live with himself knowing she wasn't the only one for him? She felt suddenly dirty all over and took to the kitchen with both babies safe in the crib to wash her hands and try to make the feeling go away.

Natela began to cry and Kasari quickly dried her eyes on the backs of her hands before returning to the living room. She hovered over the twins for a moment, just staring down at them empty of emotion save for the gut-wrenching sadness. It wasn't their fault...they had no choice in who their parents were. No matter how deeply Kasari wanted to hate them at her core she was, if nothing else, a dedicated mother.

"Come here, girls. Let's get you freshened and filled up."

Fourty-five minutes of formula making, bumping, and diaper changing later and both babies had lulled themselves back to sleep as Kasari heard Itzal come through the door with rustling plastic bags. The hair on the back of her neck prickled instantly and she closed her eyes and bit her lip. She wanted to be invisible, just leave without having to see him again. For a blissful half hour she had almost been able to forget whose babies she was caring for and just focus on the caring part. But now she had to come back to reality and the man who had crushed her heart.

"They woke up and ate. I changed them after; they both just fell back asleep. Enjoy the quiet while you can and don't push them to start a schedule too early. You're both strangers to each other, let them lead for the first few days and then start shaping a schedule to mold their habits." Monotone was the best way to describe her voice and Kasari stared through Itzal rather than at him. The advice was more for the babies than the man; she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't give advice to keep the infants safe and happy. Her eyes slid into focus and she stared at Itzal with a mix of anger and betrayal.

Her breathing grew more heavy as she held back the tears again, not knowing what to say next. 'Bye, see you  at the diner'? The men in her life had done the leaving...never her. Never to something like this especially.
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Citanul » 10/18/2015 9:41 PM

Even as he had done it, Itzal had known that sleeping with someone else wouldn't get the image of Kasari out of his head. He had left to try and forget her, forget about a relationship with her. Friend was all she was going to let him be, even after his attempts to woo her. It hadn't worked, and he had thought perhaps he could try again, start and show her he was going to change.

All hopes of that were dashed with the appearance of these two. He couldn't hate them for that, it wasn't their fault. It was his, for turning to apparently the only thing he knew how to do these days. Physical contact was something he'd always craved... Well, he better hope he'd had his fill for now, and be content to hold his daughters in his arms instead.

At least the advice was welcome, even if Kasari delivered it in such a desolate way. Itzal just nodded a little, moving out of the doorway and speaking quietly, so that he didn't wake the sleeping infants. "...Thank you again, Kasari. You, ah, don't have to stay. We'll be okay. I... I will see you in a few days, at the concert. Uhm. They'll be there, to fix the pipes tomorrow, and Reed will be here, if you need to send the kids over." He didn't expect her to trust him with them anymore, but he felt the need to offer.
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Re: The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Kallile » 10/18/2015 9:56 PM

her head titled slightly to the side as if she was gauging how angry she was going to be with him. She stared silently at him for a long moment before her eyebrows furrowed and her appearance slipped more into a defensive posture. "Stay? You think...that I would stay?" She finally managed to ask.

She took a few aggressive steps towards him to push herself out of the doorway while quietly pulling the door mostly closed behind her. The tears pooling in her eyes now might as well have bubbled from the anger that she felt rising in her the longer she stared at him. She had let him get close...so close that she thought maybe she could give a relationship another try. "I knew..that I should never trust a musician. I knew you were going to break my heart again and I just wasn't sure how. But I let myself forget all that for a little while when you came back. I thought maybe we could work, maybe you were actually worth giving a chance."

Hot streaks of salty tears streamed down her face and hit the floor in front of her feet as she continued to move away from the door and talk in hushed, bitter tones. "But congratulations...you win for the most creative heartbreak I've had. Itzal I...I don't. I can't...just after the diner is done I want you gone from my life. I never should have let you get as close as I did. Thanks, for reminding me that I can't trust men."
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Citanul » 10/18/2015 10:08 PM

He couldn't help the shake of his head as he moved away from the girls' room, trusting them to stay asleep for now. Kasari wouldn't be loud enough to wake them... And that was almost worse than expecting them to wake. At least then he'd have an excuse not to watch her bitter tears, despair that he had caused.

"No. After this, I didn't expect you to stay." He had just been trying to give her a polite reason to leave, never believing that she would be rude, even with the insult he'd given her. With a glance to the door as she moved away he only walked with her to the front of the living room, angerly clutching his own elbow. This was his fault. She had every right to be angry with him.

He nodded. It was reasonable. "I know it doesn't make it better but I am sorry. I'll leave after the diner is done. I'll tell the kids I'm leaving for a long trip. I won't be a part of their lives either, but I don't want to disappear. I think that would make it worse." He winced - of course she wouldn't agree. "But if you think that just leaving is better, I'll do that instead." They were her kids, not his.
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Re: The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Kallile » 10/19/2015 9:55 PM

You'll rescue me, right? In the exact same way they never did.
I'll be happy, right? When your healing powers kick in.


His niceness even now drove her mad. She wanted him to yell, to scream, to prove to her how truly terrible a person he was. Give her something more to confirm her feelings stirring beneath the numbness. She wanted him to show her the true ugliness she was convinced rested just beneath the surface--the ugliness that had lead him to sleep with another woman. Even a year ago they had been talking, they had been spending so much time as a family that might have been. She had still been guarded, but she remembered those day when he was home from shows. He always asked about the kids, seemed invested in her family...

You'll complete me, right? Then my life can finally begin.
I'll be worthy, right? Only when you realize the gem I am.


She found herself backing towards the front door more like this had become a hostage situation; not willing or wanting to turn her back on the man she had thought she was starting to know. Tears continued to stream down her face without the hiccups of sobbing--they were only tears now. Raw, angry tears born from somewhere deep that she had done her best to keep concealed. Her eyes narrowed to him, weighing his words. Oh she wanted to hate him, she wanted to be done. Give up the diner, just uproot the kids and move. But that wouldn't solve anything.

"You can see the kids." Her answer came out forcefully; words she obviously wasn't sure she wanted to say. "You are important to them, rather I still want you to be or not.

But this won't work now the way it once did.
And I won't keep it up even though I would love to.


Her hand found the doorknob behind her back and she finally averted her eyes from Itzal. There was nothing left to say to him, not now, maybe never. Another week was all she had to look at him and then they'd be out of each other's lives. Leaving Itzal and his surprise twins to their own devices. "Don't break those girls' hearts too." She managed to whisper before opening the door and finally turning her back on Itzal.

Once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am.
But I know I won't keep on playing the victim.


Lyrics used are from "Precious Illusions" by Alanis Morissette.
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Citanul » 10/19/2015 11:45 PM

Truth be told, he wanted to yell. To scream. To beat his fists raw on whatever surface was available. There just wasn't time for that now. He had two little girls that needed him to keep his composure, no matter what his broken heart yearned for. He had ran to get away from Kasari, to try and drown his feelings in booze and other women... Well, he could forget about winning her back now.

There weren't any words anymore. Itzal could only nod rather dumbly at being allowed to see the kids. He'd figure out a way to see them without having to hurt Kasari. Maybe wean his way out of their lives, only see them when she wasn't around. It all hurt though. Just as much as she was hurting now, he had lost his own prospect at a family. Hurting these little girls was something he never wanted to do.

----

When Reed and Cadence found their way to his home Itzal was a bit of a mess. He'd spent the better part of the evening caring for the infants, keeping them happy with toys and soft songs, rearranging their room to accommodate the second crib that would arrive tomorrow, as well as the old-but-sturdy changing table and other odds and ends he had kept from Reed's childhood.

Needless to say he was wiped, the babies asleep, and sitting on his couch with his head in his hands. There were no more tears to be had about this. He had fucked up, and done so in such a way that his life wouldn't be the same.
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Re: The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Kallile » 10/20/2015 5:39 PM

The door clicked softly as a key slid into the lock and allowed the visitor in. It had been a while since Reed had used his copy of the key, but he had always kept a hold of it just in case. Now he was glad he had--with two infants sleeping inside the last thing he wanted to do was knock so late at night. He could see his adopted father sitting down the hall in the faint light of the dimmed overhead, seemingly unaware that Reed had even entered the house they used to live in together.

Image


Placing his few bags of belongings beside the door he closed and locked it behind him, clearing his throat lightly to try and get Itzal's attention. "Hey dad," he called out softly, trying to gauge Itzal's reaction. "The girls been asleep long?"
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Citanul » 10/20/2015 11:24 PM

Though he didn't hear the lock click open, Itzal heard the rustling of bags and the tentative voice of his son from the hallway. He put on a brave face - trying to get his face to cooperate into a smile before he stood and walked over.

"Reed." His voice cracked, and a little closer now even in the dim light from the living room, it was obvious he'd spent most of his time crying since he'd put the kids to sleep. "About an hour now. Hopefully they'll sleep for a few. I missed you." He murmured as he gathered up his not-so-little-boy into a soft hug. "I'm sorry to call you here on a short notice." He had been coming anyway for the benefit concert, but had rushed his way along with the frantic phone call Itzal had placed after gathering his daughters from the orphanage.

"....I fucked up buddy. I'm so sorry." After sitting down and offering Reed a pop he finally started to speak. "She told me she didn't want me in her life, with the kids, not romantically... So I tried to forget... Backfired on me. I came home, and she seemed happy, and the kids wanted to see me, and now this..." Kasari didn't even want to look at him, much less have him close in her life. It was the opposite of what he had intended on doing when he had come home.
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Re: The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Kallile » 10/21/2015 5:27 PM

Reed accepted the hug with one in return. He hated to see his dad like this--he could see it etched plainly on his face in tracks of tears and worry lines. He had only gotten a little of the story, but he could fill in the rest of what happened before Itzal even said a word. "Don't be sorry, dad. It's what family is for."

He listened patiently as his father told him what had happened. He'd only known Kasari a small amount of time before Itzal had met her but he knew the woman could be cold when she felt threatened. "A lot has happened in the past 24 hours dad...let things sink in with everyone and see what happens. Maybe it won't be so bad as it seems right now. I mean, Cadence has a mean streak a mile wide but even she cools down after a night's rest and some time to think about it." He frowned, taking a long look at Itzal.

"You guys were never an official couple or anything...there's nothing to be sorry for. Kasari...I mean I know she's had guys leave her. I bet she heard the girls were yours and she stopped listening...just figured this was your big lead up to telling her it was over." He frowned to himself and sighed. "Cadence is like that too--make the gut punch before you take one. Why I sent her over there. Maybe she can talk Kasari down and get her to at least speak to you again."
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: The Urgency of Phone Calls [P - Kallile][M?]

Postby Citanul » 10/21/2015 10:07 PM

Itzal could only nod at his son as he listened, leaning heavily into the couch as they sat down. Of course they were never officially a couple, but he had hoped to win her trust over one day to be that. To help with the kids and raise them together, help Kasari through the tough times. The Gods knew he had a hard time with Reed once he hit his teenage years.

"But I wanted to be." He took a healthy drink from his cup of water on the table before continuing. "I left because I thought Kas didn't want that. Was happy to be a friend, and let me babysit and help the kids with 'dad' stuff, as a friend. But that ache never left when I did, and I came back... I hoped we could be together." Things had even been looking up for that before this. He couldn't ever blame the two innocent girls for that either, it had just been a large shock and a lot to take in within a few days of coming back home.

"She thinks I'm scum. I am. I knocked some girl up and left her, and she hated me enough to not even care to contact me, Reed."
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