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These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/20/2015 6:30 PM

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The kids had been put to bed (Alana only reluctantly going--old enough to know puffy eyes meant something was very wrong) but Kasari had finally found her solitude in the booth of the diner. The very booth he had been sitting in when they had first been introduced. She was seething and inconsolably crushed all in one; too tired and bleary eyed to even think straight. Her well had run dry and the tears had ceased--she simply sat and stared at the table left in disrepair.

Likewise, her eyes barely moved even as she heard the door to the diner open almost as if she didn't care that she'd forgotten to lock it. The rocker was the last person she would expect to see, but Cadence hoped her offering would let her stay. Walking up behind Kasari she leaned forward to deposit a bottle of perfectly aged Whiskey in front of her.

Image



"Heard Itzal pulled a fast one on some broad," Cadence offered uselessly, "How are ya holding up?"

The well was inexplicably filled again and Kasai burst into tears. Cadence popped the top to her own Whiskey and took a long draw straight from the bottle. Gods this was going to be a long night...but at least she wasn't stuck with two crying babies.
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/21/2015 6:06 PM

After a few minutes Kasari had calmed enough to be semi-responsive. Cadence just sat across the booth, swirling a finger around the mouth of her whiskey bottle out of boredom. This whole 'girl talk' thing had never been her strong suit and she still wasn't sure what had really made her choose the emotional mother...then she remembered there was an equally emotional rocker Reed was dealing with. Plus babies. Yeah, she had chosen wisely--at least Kasari's kids were old enough to sleep through the night and all. "You done now?"

Kasari's blue eyes flashed up to Cadence with a tinge of surprise in them. "Hey, you've got the wrong person for sugar coating hun. Look, here's some advice from me...get over it. The kids are here, Itzal can't change that. Either you like the dude or you don't."

Kasari sniffled; looking longingly at the bottle in front of her before giving into her more irresponsible side to take a long swig. "Don't you think I know that?" She growled as she put the bottle down and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "I just...I thought..."
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/21/2015 9:07 PM

"Just thought what? That some handsome rock star was just going to keep trailing after you because you give him so much reason to stay?" Cadence interrupted before Kasari's waterworks could start up again. "Look, Kas, I've been there. The whole tough exterior so no one gets too cozy. Always keeping them on their toes. Truth is that shit just pushes them away. Except Reed, that stubborn bastard just won't leave."

Taken aback, the mother looked at Cadence with tear-brimmed eyes in disbelief at what she was hearing. "What are you talking about? I never,"

"Exactly. You never told him. You never let him in. You never even tried to call on tour because you made up stories in your own head. Ok, well, one of those stories came true but think about it. Those babies are months old--meaning all this happened over a year ago. Where were you two, seriously, then? Can you even remember? Because I guarantee you weren't head over heels in love."
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/25/2015 6:01 PM

Kasari fell quiet. She couldn't remember where she and Itzal had stood over a year ago but she knew they were far from in love. She was still hesitant to even let him come around the kids too much if she remembered right. Before they had even been to each others' homes, before they had really even been fully on a first name basis. Before anything, really, when he had last left. And she had told him to go, that she couldn't afford a relationship right now. Her eyes widened. "I...I told him to go."

Cadence leaned back in the booth and lifted a leg to rest her boot on the edge of the table. "See? You set that man free and he ran with it. It's only natural--don't you want to find some comfort with a stranger after being broken?"

Kasari could only shrug a little. Of course she did. Tonight she had ran through all the numbers of her old regulars to see who might be up for a one-night stand of her own out of revenge no matter how unlikely it was to actually happen.

"I thought so. But if you still want to go that route I totally know a guy..."
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/25/2015 6:30 PM

"No, I don't want someone else even if there are no strings attached. I've got obligations to my children--I can't just run off for wild nights. I don't want to. I want something solid, something I can be proud of for once. Not another disappointment that eventually leaves me with a baby." She knew not every relationship had ended that one, but the most meaningful ones had. She didn't want Itzal to be just another sad, meaningful memory that was triggered every time she looked at his child.

Cadence shrugged and tossed back her head to take a hearty draw from her bottle. "Suit yourself," she said in between her gulps. "But seriously, have you even sat and talked with Itzal? That guy is crazy about you, he definitely didn't make himself a daddy to spite you r teach you some sort of lesson. Just a lucky/unlucky night."
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/26/2015 6:15 PM

Somehow her words didn't seem to be helping Kasari feel much better. She had, at least, stopped crying so Cadence was happy with that. The rocker leaned forward, tipping the bottle lazily towards her mouth to slurp some out as she cast Kasari an amused grin. "Don't give me that high and mighty look. So what--you got knocked up a few times too. Guess that makes you and Itzal even. Only difference is he got both his kids in one shot."

Kasari just stared off into the wood grains of the table, tear still brimming her eyes but refusing to fall. "Do you really mean it? Does Itzal really care for me?"

Cadence gave an annoyed sigh. "What's your issue with asking me? Ask him yourself." Kasari gave a little hiccup and folded her hands to rest and hide her face in them.

"I think I messed up too much to just ask him that now..."
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/26/2015 8:45 PM

"Ah, the old 'get out of my life you scumbag' shouting match?" Cadence said as if the phrase was completely natural. Kasari felt her face flush and swirled the liquid inside her bottle.

"...Yeah, something like that," she admitted sheepishly. Cadence gave a snort of laughter. "Wow you didn't waste any time. Ok then..."

The rocker pushed herself out of the booth and picked up her bottle. "Look hun, you've got to figure out a way to show that man you're willing to open up to him. And if that doesn't include jumping into his bed, then you'd better get creative. He's already proved he can find other people and yet somehow he wants you. You got that kinda commitment in you?"
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/26/2015 8:55 PM

Just as it looked like Cadence might up and leave--her patience at its end for a sobbing, mopey adult--a small voice cleared and barely spoke above a whisper. It was laden with tears and mid-word hiccups much like Kasari when she had been crying which instantly drew the attention of both women.

"Mom...I don't want Itzal to leave. I'm tired of telling my friends I don't have a dad."

Image


Alana peered from around the stairwell divide. Cadence grew immediately uncomfortable while Kasari moved to sweep her bottle of whiskey under the table.

"Alana. What are you doing out of bed? How long have you been there?" The mother asked as she beckoned the young girl towards her. Alana obliged and slid in the booth beside her mother without raising her gaze to meet either woman.

"I heard you called Itzal a scumbag...momma I don't want him to go to! I like him." The childs' tears fell with renewed strength and she sobbed onto the table. Cadence shifted.

"Hey, whoa, whoa. Enough waterworks for one night. Look here missy," she said sternly as she leaned down to level with Alana. "we aren't going to let your mom lose Itzal. We just have to think of some way for her to show him she still likes him."
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/26/2015 9:02 PM

Alana raised her gaze to meet Cadence's and she sniffled. "Do you really think mom can get Itzal back? He won't be mad?" Cadence chuckled and reached out to ruffle the girl's hair.

"Don't get ahead of us, kid. First we have to think of some way for your mom to show Itzal she still likes him a lot. Something that she normally wouldn't do. A grand gesture...you getting any of this?" Alana gave a small smile and nod.

"So we need mom to put on kinda like her own talent show for Itzal?"

Cadence shrugged in defeat. "Sure, something like that. But it has to be something special that she doesn't do every day."

"So no cooking him a special meal. It has to be something I normally don't do in front of people." Kasari interjected to cut the idea short before Alana could say it. The girl frowned a little, looking to her mom.

"So...it has to be something that makes your stomach all butterfly-y?" Both women nodded.

"Exactly! The more butterflies the better."
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/26/2015 9:09 PM

All three fell quiet as they considered possibilities.

"Mom doesn't like dancing." Alana offered hopefully. Kasari and Cadence exchanged a glance before Kasari smiled sweetly to her daughter.

"It would take...a very special dance to show Itzal I'm sorry. I don't think there's a special enough dance I can learn so quickly." Cadence opened her mouth to speak but Kasari continued. "Itzal isn't going to stay long after the concert, Alana. It's something I have to be able to learn in a week or less."

Silence fell over the room once more.

"Well, you can play him a song. I've been doing really well in music class on the piano, I can teach you!" Kasari shook her head in polite decline of the offer, but this time Cadence wouldn't be silenced.

"No hold on, mini-me might be onto something. How often do you sing, Kasari?"
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/26/2015 9:18 PM

Kasari turned bright red instantly. "Sing? To a rocker singer? I couldn't..."

"Oh, but that expression is everything. That's what you're going to do. Come on, let me hear something," Cadence insisted. Kasari felt herself melting further into the torn faux-leather seat.

"Cadence, I can't just belt out a note. I--I need music and to be able to hear someone else to match their pitch..."

Cadence leaned over the table and took Kasari by the shoulders. The smell of whiskey was heavy on her breath but her eyes were not yet clouded with drunkenness. "Do you want him back, Kas? Because I can't think of a more tender or vulnerable display than singing aloud to someone. Especially when you never would otherwise. That's your grand gesture!"

Alana smiled, hugging tightly onto her mom's arm. "Songs with pianos are always about love, I can play music for you!" Cadence agreed with a child for once in her life.

"Bringing the kids into it for extra brownie points, I like it! Stay right here, I think I might have the perfect song in the car."
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/26/2015 9:23 PM

As Cadence raced out the door to her car, Alana was still hugging tightly to Kasari's arm. The mother and daughter sat there in the one-sided embrace for a minute before Kasari reached over and began rubbing Alana's back.

"We need to keep this between us, alright? I don't want Milo to worry about Itzal or our family. We'll find a way to make it through all the mistakes; we always find a way. Right?"

Alana smiled and leaned her head against Kasari's arm. "Will Itzal ever be my dad, momma? I really do like him, he's nice. And he's really good at homework." Kasari couldn't help but chuckle through her sadness as she listened to Alana speak. Such a broken soul so young--yearning for some male influence in her life. Could she find anyone better than Itzal to lead an example for her daughter? was he the right choice for a young mind to start molding the idea of what a 'real man' was?

If he wasn't, she didn't want to spend more time finding someone who was.

"Alright Kas, prepare your ears for this feast of a ballade."
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/26/2015 9:31 PM

The song was played to a silent audience, and though Alana looked lost as to the deeper meaning, Kasari had small streamed of tears running down her face by the end. Cadence turned off her media-player and grinned to the crying woman. "Piano for your daughter and yours truly to play...just the right lyrics if I do say so. Will you do it?"

Kasari looked to the player as she mulled the lyrics over and over in her head. "I don't know if I can or not."

"Come on mom, you can! You sing to Milo and me...you can sing that to Mr. Itzal. It's really pretty just like I told you piano songs are!"

Kasari gulped deeply, still unsure. The message was so raw and open...could she really utter something like that to Itzal face to face?

"Come on Kas. If I can make Reed a singer I can make you...most of one in a week. We've got this. Just say you're in."
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/26/2015 9:36 PM

"Come on, for your man." Kasari continued to sit silently with a million thoughts buzzing around in her head.

"For your future happiness." Cadence tried again. And again, Kasari sat motionless.

"For our family?" Alana tried. This time Kasari looked towards Alana and gave a smile.

"I guess it can't go over worse than this evening did...ok, I'll try." There was a nearly silent celebratory yell that went up from Alana and Cadence as the two showed their joy without waking the toddler upstairs.

"That's nearly the spirit! We'll get you back on his good side in no time."
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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Re: These Precious Illusions...[Self][L, S]

Postby Kallile » 10/27/2015 5:31 PM

Kasari smiled, but inside she still felt a little empty. Itzal had still betrayed her on some level--some level so deep not even Kasari herself knew exactly what was wrong. They hadn't been together, she had even told him to leave back then. How could she be mad? Even Cadence had pointed out that she herself already had two kids but that was different. They were both the spawn of committed (at the time) relationships that had soured or just ended due to complications that came with war.

While Cadence and Alana rejoiced and planned their piano parts, Kasari sat and stared at them though she was lost in thought. What if he had never really wanted this, or her? What if he was just like Alana's father? In it until the morning sun broke over a shared bed and she woke to find no one. Never hearing from him again. Itzal certainly had the career to make such an escape easily if she gave in.

Was she really ready for this?
"I have been hidden, scorned, adored, worshiped, forsaken, coveted and banished more times than I care to count. But the one thing all those experiences cannot steal from me is the gentle soul I was born with, the kind heart I have molded, and the bright ideals for the future that have lit my way through the darkness of the past."




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