[Jaykobell]

“I feel so bad,” she went on to say. “I barely got any sleep because I feel so horrible.” If the hours of crying and red bloodshot eyes didn’t make her look absolutely awful, the bags under her eyes definitely did. “What kind of nurse does that?” she asked, and it sounded like she was directly addressing Martin. “What kind of person does that?”

Martin wasn’t quite sure what to say. He really wasn’t a trained psychologist: even though, somehow, he often ended up in this situation where people just felt comfortable confiding in him. Of course, this was a unique case of its own. Still, it didn’t help him find the right words to say in that moment.

“I mean,” he started, but he paused. It was hard to find the right words. “I’m sure things could’ve been handled better.” Admittedly, this was probably the last thing Cybele wanted to hear. Only then did it hit him that maybe he shouldn’t have said that out loud. “Still; I’m sure you did it all for his sake,” he added quickly. “At least he got his first treatment.”

[Jaykobell]

Those words didn’t seem to help much at all. Martin did his best to think of something fast; he started rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean…” He paused for a moment. “How did Neil react during that episode?” he asked. “When you got angry, I mean.”

Cybele had stopped crying, although tears were still going down her cheeks, and she continued to sniff. “How he reacted?” she repeated quietly, and she fell silent, giving Martin’s question some thought. “I guess he didn’t really do anything?” she replied hesitantly. “I guess it was easy after that. He stopped struggling.” In hindsight, that was the only good thing that had come from that disaster.

Martin leaned back into his chair, and he looked away. He kind of zoned out as he gave some thought to Cybele’s words: the fact Neil had stopped fighting against receiving his treatment after Cybele had gotten angry. It had been decades since Martin had given Neil a legitimate treatment, so his knowledge extended to a young teenager Neil; not so much to the adult Neil was now.

[Jaykobell]

“Oh, that reminds me.” It wasn’t so much the conversation at hand, but moreso his train of thought, that had reminded him. He got up from his chair and headed for a cabinet that was nearby. “You know, it kinda got me thinking yesterday, when you asked about Neil.” He opened one of the drawers and started going through the many different folders stacked inside. He searched in silence for a moment until he managed to find that one file.

“The majority of what I know is from when I treated him a few decades ago,” he said, and he walked back to his chair, holding the file in his hands. He sat down, and he tapped the file. He hesitated to go on, but after a moment, he just shook his head.

“It got me wondering if I had anything that might help,” he said, and he put the file down on his desk in front of Cybele. “I don’t really think so, but…” He paused, and again he rubbed the back of his neck as he avoided eye contact with Cybele. “I mean, if anything, I guess it’ll make you understand why Neil feels and reacts the way he does.”

[Jaykobell]

Cybele stared at the file. “Are you… are you sure I should be reading through this?” Neil had had such an awful reaction from her looking into his bag before. Granted, the two were very different things, but considering what the file contained, she couldn’t help but feel like Neil would be upset at her reading this.

“Well,” Martin said, and his voice was anything but confident. “I mean, usually I wouldn’t just… give someone’s file to anyone else.” Not only were they sworn to privacy, being medical practitioners, but he also didn’t like spreading people’s secrets just for the sake of it. “But… since you’re giving Neil his prophylaxis… Technically-speaking, he can be considered a patient.” It wasn’t farfetched, but it was a little bit of a gray area, considering the age of the file. “Anyway, I think it might help you if you read the file. I skimmed some of it last night, and I thought it might help you.”

Cybele kept her eyes on the file, and the curiosity was overwhelming. Even if the information dated back to over a decade ago, for the most part, it would still help her understand. As she was considering reaching for the file, though, something struck her. “Oh,” she whispered, and she looked down.

[Jaykobell]

Martin noticed, and he tilted his head. “What is it?”

Cybele bit her lip. “I… I really appreciate this, doctor Donato,” she said, and she really was grateful for his support — “But…”

Martin waited for Cybele to go on. “But… what?” he urged on, giving Cybele his undivided attention.

“Yesterday when I was angry.” She abruptly stopped; and once again, she felt her emotions rising into her throat. “I… I told him I would ask doctor Wolfgang to forget about our deal. That I would let it all go.”

“You— What?” Hearing that Cybele had lost her temper had surprised him a lot; but to hear she’d technically backed out of their agreement came out as even more of a shock. “Cybele,” he asked right away, giving her no time to say any more, “you didn’t actually speak to Murray about this, did you?”

“N-no,” she replied right away, and Martin started breathing again.

[Jaykobell]

He sighed with a relief. “Oh, thank goodness,” he said as he sank into his chair. “Don’t do that to me, lassie,” he said. “I was gonna have a heart attack.”

“I didn’t speak to anybody else yet,” she added. “I… I wanted to speak to you first.” Not only was Murray intimidating when it came to these things, but Martin also had a long history with Neil. Between the two, Martin had been the obvious choice for her.

Hearing her say that, Martin smiled. “Thanks, lassie,” he said. “It’s nice of you to say. Listen; I can’t tell you what to do.” He straightened up and then leaned forward towards her and the file on his desk. He put a hand on the file, and he pushed it just a little bit further towards her. “Before you make up your mind, though: please read the file.” He hadn’t been so sure on sharing the file at first, but hearing Cybele say she was considering going back on her agreement with Neil and Murray just made Martin more determined to let her read the file.

[Jaykobell]

“I know Neil is hard to deal with when he gets like that,” he assured her, and he hoped she knew that he really did understand where she was coming from, “but give him another chance: give this a try,” he said, tapping the file. “You can borrow it for as long as you want.” He paused for a moment, and then he smiled. “I know where to find you, anyway; and you know where to find me, so.”

Cybele looked at the file some more, and she mustered the smallest of smiles at Martin’s positive attitude. She rubbed her arm over her eyes and sniffed. “Thank you, doctor,” she said quietly, and she carefully picked up the file. “I’ll read the file. I’ll give it back to you as soon as I’m done with it.”

“I’m sure you will, lassie.” He smiled more at the sight of her getting her positive personality back. “I better send you off now, though,” he pointed out as he glanced at his watch. “If I don’t, Melanie will tear my department apart looking for her nurse,” he said as he laughed.

When he said that, Cybele’s eyes widened, and she looked this way and that to find a clock. “Oh no! I’m late!”

[Jaykobell]

Martin blinked, and then he laughed. “I mean, technically you’re not late.” Maybe she wasn’t working this whole time, but she was here.

“Doctor Cavan will have a panic attack if I don’t leave now.” She had to travel from this department to Melanie’s office, and the doctor was definitely already looking for her. “Doctor Donato,” Cybele said as she turned back around to face Martin, “thank you. Really; thank you so much.”

“Happy to help, my dear,” Martin said. “Feeling better, then?”

Cybele smiled a little more. “A little.” She wasn’t feeling her best, but if anything, Martin had helped a lot, all things considered.

“Off you go, then,” he said, waving a hand to dismiss her. “And if you got more on your mind, you know where to find me.”

She felt a little embarrassed, at that point, but in a good way. “Thank you so much,” she said as she took the file from Martin's desk and quickly made her way out of his office.

[Jaykobell]

She was dying to look through the file, but unfortunately the opportunity wouldn't come until the end of the day. She soon came across Melanie in the hall on her way back, and the thought of reading the file were tucked far into the back of her mind. She already struggled to keep up with Melanie; if her mind were distracted, the day would not only go by slowly, but her performance would be nothing short of sub-par.

Cybele wasn't expecting a scolding from Melanie for being late, but she was pleasantly surprised when the doctor asked if she was okay. Did she really look so bad that even Melanie could see it? Her asking came from a place of caring, but Cybele didn't share much with her. She kept it simple by saying she'd had a hard time sleeping the night before, and that she would be ready to help Melanie once she'd had the chance to put the thick file away, for later.

It took a lot for Cybele to remain focused during the day. The lack of sleep started catching up to her, and after a few hours, her eyes had started burning and itching. By the time noon came about, she could barely keep her eyes open without them drying out. She found herself rubbing her eyes often and squinting virtually all the time.

[Jaykobell]

Perhaps it had been Neil speaking to her, but Melanie had given it a fair attempt that day to slow down. She would ask for Cybele's input more often, and she'd even offered eye drops for her eyes. Granted, Cybele didn't quite trust Melanie to put in the drops for her, but she'd been thankful for the gesture. Cybele had to put them in a few times throughout the remainder of the day, but they'd been a big help in making the second half of her day bearable.

Never before had she been happier for the day to end. As soon as the end approached, Cybele started feeling a little better; not only that, but she was getting somewhat excited. With the day over, she would finally get the chance to sit down and start reading Neil's file.

When the clock ticked six o'clock, even Melanie seemed relieved. “Another day in the bag!” she proclaimed as she stepped inside her office, arms outstretched. “Right, Cybele?”

With a small, if tired, smile, Cybele said, “Mhm.”

[Jaykobell]

“Are you gonna be okay?” Melanie asked, and when Cybele looked confused at her question, the doctor added, “I mean, to sleep tonight.” And then she gasped and clapped her hands. “Oh! Do you want me to prescribe you something?”

Melanie had really done her best on that day to be supportive, but as with everything she did, her definition of “supportive” was a little… unique. “I'll be fine,” Cybele promised her. “I just had a lot on my mind yesterday.”

“Are you really sure though?” Melanie insisted, and she turned to her cabinet. “To be honest, there's probably a little thing somewhere in here that could help!” she said as she started rummaging through the many different pill bottles and containers that were on the shelves.

[Jaykobell]

Cybele watched on as the doctor persisted. “Ah, no, doctor, please,” she said, “it's really not necessa—”

“A-ha!” Melanie exclaimed as Cybele spoke, and the doctor pulled out a bottle from the cabinet. “How about some… Chloroform!” she said, and seconds after she'd spoken that name, both Melanie and Cybele fell silent.

“Never mind,” Melanie quickly said as she gingerly put the bottle back where it belonged. “Never mind!” She looked a little bit more, but nothing came up. After a few minutes, she closed the cabinet doors and turned back to Cybele. “Shoot, I really thought I had something in there.”

“Doctor, please,” Cybele said, “I'll be just fine,” she insisted. Despite Melanie's questionable suggestion, Cybele added, “But thank you for asking.”

[Jaykobell]

Melanie didn't look convinced, but she couldn't force Cybele to take anything if she didn't want to, either. “Well, if you say so,” she said, and she turned her attention to the desk next to her. “Well, I better get started on this report!” She picked up a stack of paper and then turned to Cybele. “But you're free to go home! And sleep! A lot!”

Cybele smiled, but she wasn't quite ready to leave just yet. “Thank you, doctor Cavan,” she said as she sat down at her own smaller desk in the office, “but I think I'll stay for just a little while longer. I have something to do before I leave.”

Melanie looked surprised to hear it, but she didn't pry. “Alrighty then. I'm right here if you need me though!” she said as she turned to her consultation office and opened the door. She opened the door, but right before stepping in, she added, “If you change your mind about that chloroform.”

Cybele couldn't tell if Melanie was being serious or just making a joke, so she simply smiled and replied, “Thank you, doctor,” as Melanie slipped inside her office, closing the door behind her.

[Jaykobell]

Once she was alone, Cybele's heart started beating faster. She turned on the small desk lamp and pulled up the file from this morning. She couldn't even begin to imagine what she would find inside, and with the size of it - it wasn't a small file, but it also wasn't as big as some of the ones she'd seen - she figured it would be a lot.

It looked like an old file, and subconsciously, she handled the file and the papers inside with care. She didn't want to risk ripping anything or smudging old information.

The file opened up with the usual: a detailed sheet of the patient. “Neil Endzela; Sex: Male; Age: 11; Blood Type: AB+”; it also listed his parents, the assumed severity of his hemophilia, suggested treatments, his home address, contact information for emergencies; and more.

She got into the meat of it right away. The file had years - a solid two decades - of medical reports and blood tests to go through. While the actual test results weren't what she was looking for, the reports from the doctors were.

[Jaykobell]

The first few reports were all from different hematologists that only served to confirm what Martin had already told her. While they varied in vocabulary and length, the bottom line for each and every one of them was that the patient refused to cooperate, pulled emotional tantrums, rejected treatments, acted rudely, displayed obvious signs of behavioral problems, including anger, aggressive behaviors… the list went on. Not a single report listed even the smallest of positive thing about Neil.

At a certain point, she found a number of reports that were from the same doctor for the first time. Her initial assumption was that this was from Martin, but she was surprised to find the reports being from another doctor: Edgar Körbl. They had to be a doctor from way back, as the name wasn't familiar to her: and with a name like that, she would've remembered meeting that doctor.

Regardless, he was the first to have lasted more than a few encounters with Neil at that time, having left a good number of reports in the file. Things started developing more with doctor Körbl’s reports.