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I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby zapdragon555 » 05/12/2016 1:53 AM

[E tag is just in case; as far as we know, this will probably
only have language in it, but we're not sure where it'll go yet!]


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[Kei Sasaki - #5F6F99]

There was no way Kei was sleeping tonight.

The young man lay in his bed, his dark eyes locked on the ceiling where his fan turned lazily, too lazily for the amount of heat gathering under his collar. He needed to be doing something. The biggest exam of his second year of university was tomorrow, and he'd be damned if he hadn't studied, but... he couldn't help the racing thoughts in his mind. If he fucked this up, his parents would disown him--if he didn't sleep, he would fuck this up. He knew how that went. He couldn't help it if he was a horrible test taker! He always had been, all throughout junior high and high school, though he still managed to pull through with back-breaking amounts of extra credit, resenting his younger brother who always seemed to breeze through things with ease.

His younger brother seemed to excel at most things. It wouldn't be as bad, if Kei wasn't the first son, and therefore supposed to excel at pretty much everything. His eyes flicked to the window, curtains drawn, but street lights still visible from the other side, glowing softly through the beige fabric. He sighed through his nose, bringing his hands up to rub his face, a wave of anxiety bringing tears to his eyes. A fuckup, and a crybaby? He was really hitting all the marks tonight. Deciding getting his feelings out alone in his room was better than choking on tears, Kei pushed himself up and sat on the floor near his bed, pressing his back to the mattress and burying his face in his knees.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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Re: I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby ToxicShadow » 05/12/2016 8:11 PM

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[Jiro]


So it was another sleepless night.

Not long after the young man succumbed to his sorrows and frustrations, a familiar entity, in the form of a tall, dark haired man, appeared within his room. As was usual, he was not seen coming or going, he just appeared out of nothing. Just standing, watching, like he had always been there. Jiro visited Kei almost every single night, missing days only few and far between. It had been happening for years. Although those years did not seem all that long to the peculiar god, he'd watched Kei grow into the adult he was today.

As the person before him cried into his knees, Jiro's pale face was fraught with worry. If he been given the choice, he would have reached out to touch him, to comfort him in any way that he was able to, but that would be breaking the rules. He never intended for Kei to ever lay eyes on him again, from the moment he had saved him, but one day, years ago, Jiro had been discovered during one of his nightly visits. It had been by great luck that Kei believed he was nothing more than a figment of his an imagination, and he played along with it any time he was discovered. So, as a figment of one's imagination, he could not come into physical contact with Kei, unless he wanted to break the illusion.

But he could still do one thing.

"What are your worries tonight?"
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Re: I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby zapdragon555 » 05/14/2016 1:56 PM

Kei had never been able to explain it, but he always seemed to sense his imaginary friend, somehow. He used the term because it was far less frightening than more clinical, serious alternatives. The hallucination--and he had to call it that, whether it was imaginary friend or schizophrenic foe--had been with him ever since early childhood, always appearing in flashes of memory and disappearing when his brain tried to forcibly forget certain events. He didn't raise his head, even when Jiro spoke.

"Lots," he answered softly, a kind of shaky honesty in his voice as he managed something like a laugh, raising his head long enough to wipe his eyes and sniff. "Nothing I should be crying over," he added, scrubbing furiously at his eyes now, the residual smile from his chuckle falling away as he grit his teeth and tried very hard to get it together. Even if Jiro wasn't real, Kei felt the need to be presentable, felt the need to look like he had it all together. "It's nothing," he repeated, as though he were trying to convince himself, but another wave of tears gripped his throat, and he uttered a tiny sob, ducking away again.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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Re: I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby ToxicShadow » 05/14/2016 3:41 PM

Jiro continued to observe Kei from his safe distance. Listening and watching as the young man finally looked up and responded fairly honestly to his question. Things were wrong, that he would admit, but he wasn't telling Jiro what. This made the god frown ever so slightly. All Jiro could really do now as help him by listening. In order to preserve his identity as Kei's imaginary friend, all he could do was listen and offer advice; they could exchange words. Otherwise, his hands were tied.

When he began sobbing once more, evidently trying to hide it, the tall, dark haired man's expression grew pained. Being unable to do anything to help this person, one that he came to deeply care for over the years, even though he was so close, was more awful than he could have ever possibly imagined. Of course, it was far too late to regret ever getting involved. He was involved.

Sucking in a breath, although breathing wasn't actually necessary like this, Jiro moved across the room, toward Kei. He sat down on the edge of the other man's bed, closer to him this way, but he intentionally sat as far away from him as possible.

"There is no shame in crying when you are upset," he reminded him. With his gentle, knowing tone, he was trying to comfort him. These days, humanity mistakenly tried to conceal their tears, pretending their pain didn't exist. It wasn't healthy. It was simply self destructive. "Your sorrows are part of what makes you human."

"Besides, you don't have to pretend everything is all right in front of me. If you want to cry, then just let it out. No one else will know."
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Re: I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby zapdragon555 » 05/16/2016 3:38 PM

If he were more in his right mind, Kei would have pondered the veracity of his delusions' physicality. He swore he could feel the presence of Jiro as he came closer, which caused the flow of tears to still for just a moment. It... truly was comforting, having someone in the room. Jiro had always been so nice, so achingly kind and considerate, and Kei was terrible at being either of those things, especially in situations like this. Despite everything, he raised his tear streaked face to look up at Jiro, angling his head back--and the simple action already helped the knot of fear and sadness in his throat. Since when did I become so introspective? Kei wondered absently to himself, cracking a slight smile at the apparition. Even if it must have been his own thoughts reflected back--for nothing else made sense to him--they did, somehow, comfort him just a bit.

"Guess you're right," he mumbled, but talking was a mistake, for his voice broke halfway through and a fresh wave of tears chased the last before they could fully dry. He was silent for a moment, trying to compose himself, then pushed himself up off the floor and sat on the edge of the bed as well, not two feet away from the other. He allowed himself to crumple, slightly, wanting to move closer to the other despite knowing it would mean nothing, would provide no warmth and no touch to comfort him. A more open sob was coaxed out of him by Jiro's soft words, too wrapped up in his own feelings to hear the footsteps coming up the staircase.

[I give you permission to control Jiro's younger brother, if you want to do that in your next post! If not, I'm fine with doing it in my next post, if you want another moment of calm between them before things break loose. xD]



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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Re: I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby ToxicShadow » 05/16/2016 6:32 PM

If Kei had been paying close attention to Jiro, he would have noticed that the appreciation, the god, visibly flinched when he sat down beside him on the bed. All of the warning signals went off in his head. He shouldn't be this close to him while he was awake. No, correction, he couldn't be this close. It was too much of a risk. They were within the distance that they could easily reach out and touch one another, if they wanted to. If Kei couldn't help but to try, even while believing he wasn't actually there, Jiro's secret would be revealed.

Even while knowing this, Jiro could not bring himself to shy away. Intentionally standing to move away would also bring to question what he was. A figment of one's imagination wouldn't avoid its creator in these circumstances. But that wasn't even the actual reason behind it. He just knew, he could feel, that being beside him brought Kei some level of comfort, and Jiro couldn't bring himself to take it away from him.

The reality of it was simply that Jiro always wished to be by his side and, admitting it to himself in that moment, his thoughts ran away from him.

"Do you ever wish for a different life?" The words, softly spoken, came out before he could stop them. His gaze had become fixed on Kei. At the moment, he was only aware of Kei's presence, no one elses, as though it was just the two of them in the entire world.
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Re: I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby zapdragon555 » 05/18/2016 4:29 PM

Jiro's words had met Kei's ears in a moment of respite from the sobs--if it hadn't, he likely wouldn't have been able to hear the soft words. The boy slowly raised his head, eyes rimmed in red and face a mess from crying as he stared with a dumbfounded kind of lack of understanding. A different life... what other life was there, if not this? Growing up, getting good grades, getting a high paying job, getting married, having children, dying. Anything else was failure, right? Right...?

Kei's eyes were held by the god's, his mouth barely parting to speak, to formulate some kind of answer that his heart was telling him, screaming for him to give--when suddenly his door burst open, his younger brother standing in the doorway.

"Kei! Do you have someone in... here...?" the boy's eyes went wide as he stared at Jiro, then at Kei, at their close proximity and the tears in Kei's eyes. Perhaps it was because the younger of the two brothers was half asleep, but instead of coming to the conclusion that this could be one of Kei's friends, instead, he let out a scream of alarm in response to the intruder.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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Re: I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby ToxicShadow » 05/27/2016 3:31 AM

Gaze and attention so focused on Kei, longing to hear an answer that would give him just a shred of hope, Jiro did not even notice the younger brother until it was too late. He turned his head toward the doorway, toward the other mortal, and his body visibly froze for an instant when he made eye contact. He had been discovered. It would be impossible for Kei to go on believing he was just a figment of his imagination now that his existence had been acknowledged by someone else.

From the moment forward, it was as if the world had slowed around them, Kei and Jiro, and it was very possible that such a thing was entirely accurate. The god's mind was processing at a mile a minute, or even faster, in order to come to his conclusion within a moment's time. In order to act quickly, the world around him slowed.

He could not survive without Kei. He could not lose him. Even if it meant entirely uprooting him from his life, taking him hostage. The god's survival depended on it, and Jiro had no such desire to die.

He rose to his full height in one, swift movement. Reaching out, he unceremoniously scooped up the young man that had been sitting beside him and threw him over his shoulder, then made a mad dash for the window. Each bound seemed impossible for a human, as did his ability to leap straight through the window pane without so much as leaving a scratch, let alone shattering it. They simply moved through it as if it was no more than air.
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Re: I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby zapdragon555 » 06/06/2016 9:57 PM

The ear-splitting scream of fright faded as fast as it had begun, the noise being dragged from Kei's ears as gravity shifted. Confusion took hold of him, instinctive fear spiking his adrenaline as the world around him began moving. Was this an out of body experience? He was outside his house, the wind very real around him but the movement something dreamlike in its speed.

His body seemed to catch up, suddenly and violently. He'd been silent for the few seconds it had taken to move away from the house, but then, a scream ripped from his throat. Who was taking him? Was he dying? Had he fallen unconscious? He could barely breathe in the slung-over position he was in, arms hanging down but now trying to scrabble to get a grip on whatever was carrying him. "S-stop--stop! Stop, l-let me go!" he cried, fidgeting and thrashing to try to escape whatever was holding him, his ability to be rational left somewhere far behind.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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Re: I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby ToxicShadow » 06/09/2016 4:45 AM

There was no going back now. It was too late. The younger brother's terrified scream cemented it all in. But, honestly, Jiro would not have even considered turning back. He couldn't.

Bounding through the sky, walking on air as though it was a solid surface, the ground below them was already far off. Enough so that, if Kei struggled too much and fell, he would be severely injured. Although, after putting some space between them and house and, as per the young man's wishes, the god at least slowed in his steps, even though he did not stop altogether. It was just a little smoother of a ride for Kei, with him walking, rather than running.

Jiro's weak, failing body produced very little heat at all, which Kei would realize as he scrambled to grab a hold of him, but just enough to signify that he was living. Between them, Kei's body was much warmer, as it was truly real.

"Look at where we are," he spoke gently, but loud enough so that he could be heard. Undoubtedly, his voice would be familiar to his abducted companion. "If I let you go, you'll tumble down to the ground from rather high up. It could be enough to kill you."

"Besides, I cannot possibly let you go now." The words were added as an afterthought, but there was a small, undeniable sense of urgency in his tone.
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Re: I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby zapdragon555 » 06/13/2016 2:01 AM

Kei's mind had decided to rationalize the situation, bringing his panic to some semblance of stunned calm. He was either dreaming, or being spirited away--and his brain had gone into a kind of autopilot, deciding for him that he would deal with it either way. His eyes still stung from the tears he'd cried, so the dream idea felt a little farfetched. That left the more frightening alternative that made Kei's limbs shake with helplessness.

"I don't want to look," he whimpered softly, his eyes shut tight still. "I-if you're a demon, or... or a ghost, or vengeful spirit, please, t-tell me what I can do that would save my soul." He couldn't help the babble tumbling out of his mouth. He was scared, and his body was numb, but thrumming with panicked heat centering around his core. In truth, he felt like he was going to faint. "I don't... want to die..."

And with that, his body sagged, consciousness leaving him for the time being, hands still curled tight as cold vicegrips into the cold body they clung to. At least now the god could carry him away without the fear of him trying to wriggle out of grasp.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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Re: I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby ToxicShadow » 06/13/2016 3:33 AM

The god sighed after quietly listening to the words that spilled from Kei's mouth while he was utterly terrified. He was panicking, which didn't leave room for enough ability to reason. If he had simply thought about it, he might have realized whom had a hold of him and that, never had he harmed him, so it was doubtful that he would now.

Jiro opened his mouth to remind Kei of all that, but before he could speak, he felt the once-mortal's body go limp in his arms. His expression softened further and he shifted the unconscious young man so that he would be lying more comfortably in his arms, much a like a bride, rather than thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. No longer concerned with causing his companion a bad case of vertigo, Jiro whisked him away with lightning fast speed.

By the time Kei would begin to stir once again, they had long since safely arrived at the shrine that housed Jiro and was dedicated to him. The god had laid him to comfortably rest on a traditional futon, the sort that laid out directly on floor, and covered him up.

All that he had done had been enough to nearly entirely drain the remaining energy from the god, so he had stolen a kiss while Kei would be unaware of it, but even that barely kept him clinging onto his sickly human appearance. Jiro didn't make it be a few small and uneven steps away from Kei before collapsing on the spot. Without even the strength to will himself to stand, and even though it was unbecoming of a god, he dragged himself just close enough to reach out and hold onto Kei's hand, using it as his lifeline. The energy exchange from such contact was nearly nonexistent, but holding his hand would at least bind him to his failing human form, it shadowless and sickly pale, and keep him alive.

It was like this that Jiro passed out, face down, desperately clinging onto Kei for dear life.
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Re: I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby zapdragon555 » 06/25/2016 4:36 AM

The first thing that Kei registered when he began to wake was a soft plush warmth under him and over him, with the solid ground blessedly beneath him. His limbs felt numb and cold and clammy from the panic he'd gone through before, but as he breathed slow and steady, he began to feel warmth flow back into them. Okay... so he was alive. That, at least, was good. He tried to piece together just what had happened, but each time he tried, it made his adrenaline spike again--so he left it alone.

Kei groaned softly and turned his head, his eyes immediately falling on Jiro's prone form. His eyes widened. That's right... his imaginary friend had been there, and he'd... talked to him when he'd been crying. And then his brother, and then screaming...

Had his brother somehow seen Jiro? It was impossible. It was utterly impossible, and yet... Kei's eyes traveled down to their joined hands, his grip barely tightening in realization. He could touch him.

Jiro didn't look so good. Kei's brows drew together instinctively at the man's sickly, pale appearance, and with a few grunts of effort he sat up and looked down at the god, not letting go of his hand. His brain still wasn't piecing everything together just yet, and for all he knew, he could be dreaming. He certainly felt like he was in some sort of dreamlike haze. His eyes traveled down to his own shadow, taking solace in its existence, cast from the lamp in the spacious room. And then... his eyes flicked to Jiro's shadow. Or lack there of. No shadow... for some reason, it was this simple observation that sent a jolt of fear through Kei, and he released the god's hand with a startled cry. "A-a demon," he stammered, terror making him shake as he scrambled away from the form on the floor. "Y-you're certainly a demon, aren't you? Huh? You've been haunting me, a-all this time...?" It was the only rationale his brain could latch onto, at the moment, as irrational as it was--this whole situation was irrational.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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Re: I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby ToxicShadow » 06/25/2016 5:15 AM

The sudden withdrawal of Kei's hand, their contact broken, instantaneously jolted the weakened god into fully alert wakefulness. His eyes opened abruptly and he pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, chuckling, in spite of his sorry state. The motion seemed smooth and effortless, but Jiro's body betrayed him, shaking at the effort that it took even with him pretending it was not the case.

"I can't say I haven't been called that before."

There was absolutely no way that he could muster the strength to stand yet; he hadn't taken enough time to recover after using more of his energy up in one go than he had in a long time, all while running on empty.

"But did it seem like I was haunting you? Truly?"

Sure, Jiro had visited him often, more often than Kei even knew, but it wasn't the sort of haunting that a demon would be excused of. At no point were his intentions ever malicious. Countless times, he only sought to comfort Kei.

"A god." When he spoke these words, he mustered the strength and will to finally sit up right, his legs folded beneath him in a way that many found uncomfortable. Finally, his gaze shifted to Kei, and his expression was difficult to read, although one might guess that he was upset in some way. Not angry, but... hurt? His vivid eyes, a piercing yellow, were the only feature that had not been affected by his horribly weakened state; they shone bright and healthy. "Well, a failing god, now..." Jiro no longer had the strength and energy to grant the prayers of others, he could only listen. Even with Kei, so many times Jiro had wanted nothing more than to help him in a substantial way, but all he could do was lend an ear and offer words of encouragement or advice. Such little things paled in comparison to the great deeds he was capable of when not deprived of the energy he required to survive and to have his powers thrive.  "I'm dying, but I've been dying since you were a child."

"Still, I never intended for it to get this far." From the beginning, Jiro expected that saving Kei's life would mean the end of his own. It was inevitable, so there was no reason to ever deny it. But he became attached and developed the desperate desire to keep living, to stay by this mortal's side for as long as he could.
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Re: I'm Not the Kind You Pray For [P; E?]

Postby zapdragon555 » 07/21/2016 6:42 PM

Kei forced himself to listen--he couldn't do anything else, in this state or this setting. Even if he could, there was something about how badly the other individual was shaking, how sickly and withering he looked, that rooted Kei to the ground. It was those eyes, bright and shimmering yellow, that held his tongue.

Dying since he was a child... dying... child...? "Y-you're a god?" he asked quietly, echoing Jiro's words with shaky ones of his own. An aching, helpless fear echoed hollow and dull in his chest, a fear of rushing water and strange voices and screeching tires. Dying. A child--'Please, help me, God--'

"I... thought I made you up," Kei whispered simply, blinking and finding tears in his eyes. He blinked rapidly and brought a wrist up to scrub at his eyes and sniff, looking back up at the god with damp lashes. "So you're real. Right? This isn't some kind of dream?" Not that he would trust someone in a dream to tell him that he wasn't dreaming, but... his head hurt, and he'd felt a hand in his only moments ago. He was silent for a few moments, then followed up his question with a soft intake of breath. "Why are you dying? I-if... if you're the one who's been with me all these years, and listened to me, I... I don't want you to die." It felt like such a silly, obvious thing to say, but Kei couldn't settle with the amount of sadness thrumming in his chest.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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