[Night]

Se-jin wasn't sure whether to be relieved or annoyed by Julian's interference. His expression flickered between several emotions before settling on a pout. "No fair, Julian. If you're going to make me do this then the least you could do is let me get a kiss out of it." This could have been his only chance to actually have a first kiss; even if it was all in the name of wooing someone else.

"They're right though. It's a little... presumptuous to just kiss someone without knowing if they even want you to." He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to straighten out whatever damage the wig had done. "Not that I don't think Yeong-sik would want to kiss you! Just.. maybe a little lead up, yeah?"

It's not like Se-jin had any experience to pull from; he was willing to agree with whatever advice Julian was offering in an effort to make himself seem a little more well versed.

He sat up a little straighter when Ji-won moved in the second time. He wasn't sure what he should say - Yeong-sik wasn't very talkative. He opened his mouth, prepared to launch another spiel about some book or another. It came out as a squeak when Ji-won grabbed him by his shirt and hauled him to his feet.

Se-jin was glad that Sol was around to come to his rescue. He wasn't eager to incur Ji-won's wrath by telling him off when he was in such close proximity. Safely removed from Ji-won's grip, he wrapped his arms around Sol's shoulders in thanks. "Protected" behind Sol's smaller form, he was at least confident enough to offer Ji-won another shot.

"How about we try again, yeah? Just try and do it more naturally. I'll be Yeong-sik, and you just ask me if I want to go to dinner." Se-jin toed off the platform shoes, unwilling to make the same mistake twice. He stepped back a little from the group, wrapping his arms over his chest and standing as awkwardly as possible. When he spoke next, he'd raised his voice into a high falsetto that sounded nothing like Yeong-sik.

"Oh hyung, I didn't expect to see you here." He fluttered his eyelashes at Ji-won, doing his best impersonation of Yeong-sik's deer-in-the-headlights face. "You wanted to ask me something?"

[crow]

Julian frowned a little at Se-jin. Really? This was how he wanted to get his first kiss? And from Ji-won... But he didn't say it out loud, since they were here for Ji-won, and... he was pretty sure he didn't want to find out how desperate Se-jin actually was for a kiss from another dude. At least, he hoped it was just gay desperation, and not the stirrings of a real love triangle. Please don't let it be a love triangle.

Ji-won's constipated expression was back, and in the meantime it had co-mingled with that vaguely murderous glare of his, so now he looked as though he wasn't sure who he wanted dead more--- himself or everyone else. "This is stupid," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm not... Yeong-sik isn't..." He watched as Se-jin hugged Sol to himself as a shield. Ji-won's troubled expression deepened.

"Alright, alright, no one has a crush on anyone," said Julian, not even trying to hide the fact that he was just humoring Ji-won anymore. "But come on, at this point you owe it to Se-jin to show him you can do it! Right? Right?"

Sol shot Julian a look then, and... Sol wasn't ever the type to get hostile at anyone, but Julian knew a warning when he saw it. He smiled at Sol, who didn't look terribly reassured, and merely shifted his gaze to scrutinizing Ji-won instead.

Ji-won closed his eyes. Probably deliberating just how much trouble all this was worth, how much grief they might give him if he just decided to walk away. He breathed in and out in a long, exasperated sigh.

"Yeong-sik," he said. His expression resembled nothing so much as a man who had just sucked on a lemon, and Julian could almost hear the air quotes around the name. "Do you... want to get dinner... with me." With that flat tone of his, it couldn't even be called a question.

Behind him, Julian finally couldn't hold it in any longer, and let his forehead smack into his waiting hand.

[Night]

This honestly wasn't much better. At least when he'd been taking the wrong approach, Ji-won had seemed marginally interested in the outcome of the conversation; now he just looked like a child being forced to thank someone for a poorly thought out Christmas gift. Se-jin remained undeterred. If nothing else, the actual question itself seemed a little more on point.

"I'd love to!" Se-jin announced in his high falsetto. He stepped forward and threw his arms around Ji-won's shoulders, sneaking in a hug before he lost his golden opportunity. He would undoubtedly regret it in a moment, but it wasn't like he got a chance to bestow any sort of affection on the younger often. "That was better! I mean, you should probably do something different with your face, but the actual words are better. Just say that, but with like... a happy, interested face. You look like someone canceled your birthday."

Ji-won wasn't returning his hug, and Se-jin was finding that Ji-won wasn't as much fun to hug as he might have imagined he would be. He'd half expected him to be exceptionally good at it, considering the high price that one had to pay to even get one. He huffed and stepped away, seeking out the next available person.

At least Sol never rebuffed his attempts to cuddle.

"Hey, do you think that Yeong-sik is going to notice that his shirt is kinda stretched out now?"

[crow]

So... the first attempt at coaching Ji-won was a failure. Even Julian was willing to admit that. Considering how many witnesses there had been, he would have been hard pressed to deny it. But Julian was nothing if not determined--- Ji-won might have said 'stubborn'--- and so he continued, relentlessly, to rope Ji-won into these little practice games. Sol volunteered to be a substitute for Se-jin, who was retired mostly to providing commentary of questionable quality.

Things were... pretty dire at first. To the point where Julian had to wonder about Ji-won's romantic history, even. Apparently he wasn't a virgin--- something he had insisted when Julian tried to give him advice about other things--- but surely no one who had actually dated anyone else could be this bad at playing pretend.

But there was progress. Even if it was incremental, there was progress. At least they managed to coach him out of the aggressive approach, and what was left was a more... Well, he still wasn't exactly romantic, per se, but Ji-won did soften around the edges, especially once he started buying into the pretense a little more. Sometimes Julian caught Ji-won looking at Yeong-sik with that same softness, when he thought no one else was looking. Thank god he never did anything else but look, but even so...

It was a promising start. Julian was even cautiously optimistic, even though he didn't think Ji-won was ready just yet.

---

But then Ji-won stopped showing up.

"Huh? What do you mean you're busy?" Julian blinked at Ji-won in genuine surprise as the latter adjusted his jacket in front of the mirror. "We don't have any schedules today."

"I have a solo schedule," said Ji-won. "I'm already running behind, so I don't have time to talk." True to his words, he was out the door moments later, greeted at the door by their manager. Julian was left staring in his wake.

In the weeks that followed, Ji-won became more and more scarce. At first, it was just during their downtime, but then it became recording sessions, practices, meetings with the coaches. Everyone noticed. It got to the point where Julian started to wonder whether he was going to be participating in this comeback at all.

Julian had considered asking their manager more than once, but in the end, it was Sol who beat him to the punch. "Hyung, is Ji-won hyung coming this time? If he doesn't start showing up more, he's not going to be able to learn the routine in time."

Their manager glanced out the door, almost as if he was expecting someone, then shook his head. "He has a schedule today. He'll practice later on his own time to catch up."

But Sol wasn't satisfied. As the main dancer, he wasn't the choreographer, but he was responsible for making sure everyone learned it and that the end result looked good. After all, the coaches couldn't be spared to watch over all their practices, since there were other groups they had to help too. "Where has he been going lately? We've barely even seen him this past week."

"Oh," said their manager, looking surprised, and then a little guilty. "Did he... Did no one tell you guys? Ji-won is filming a drama."

[Night]

Initially, Yeong-sik had been a bit relieved that Ji-won had missed a dance practice or two. It made him feel ridiculously guilty, but he couldn't deny that the lack of distraction had been a bit of a godsend. It was so much easier to remember the steps as Sol explained them when he was actually capable of paying attention. It did nothing to resolve his growing worry over Ji-won's absence, but the chance to focus was at least a bit of a bonus.

That wasn't to say that he'd become any more graceful overnight. Being able to remember the steps and his body actually allowing him to execute them were two entirely separate things. If anything, he may have been growing more clumsy over time. He couldn't remember a time that practice had ever been quite so hard on him.

Yeong-sik had always though that Se-jin's now-traditional complaining on the walk home after practice to be a bit melodramatic; they were all tired, and sometimes it may have awakened a bit of strain in muscles that he hadn't even known existed. But it had never been so horrible that he felt it warranted the kind of show the eldest put on.

Now it woke him up at night; dull throbbing and shooting pains in his knees and ankles, sometimes so bone achingly sharp he had no chance of going back to bed. He'd written it off as being out of shape. They were all guilty of getting lax about their work out schedules in the interim between comebacks, the draw of some time off a little too strong to find the motivation to go to the gym every day.

Oblivious had perhaps been used to describe him a little too often. Yeong-sik almost didn't notice that he'd grown any taller until he looked up one day and came to the startling realization that he and Julian were quite nearly eye level with one another. Perhaps the change had been so gradual that he had simply overlooked it.

He felt gangly and awkward; his body was far too big, a little too new. It did at least explain his lack of coordination.

Between his lack of motor skills and Ji-won's continued absence, he couldn't help but think that their next comeback was going to be an absolute dumpster fire. They did well enough to compensate for his lack of skill when it came to dancing. Trying to compensate for two people was going to be a trick.

He politely waited for the manager to leave the room before addressing the group at large. "When is Ji-won-hyung even going to have time to practice if he's filming? Doesn't he ever sleep?" He frowned at Se-jin in the mirror across from them, not missing the slight worry that had crossed the elder's features.

"Maybe he has one of those Time Turners. You know, like Harry Potter." Jeremy paused to consider before a mischievous grin split his features. "Do you think they'd give me one, too? If I told them that I wanted extra time for practice?"

[crow]

Everyone in the room turned to stare at the manager. "What?" blurted Julian. "He's filming a drama?"

"A drama..." Sol frowned, the crease between his brows deepening. He took out a tablet and began fiddling with it. Julian peered over his shoulder, and saw Sol pull up some diagrams--- formations for the routine. He must have been readjusting it for Ji-won.

Whatever else you might say about Sol, he sure didn't waste any time. The fact that Ji-won was in a drama must have been a decision made by management, so any protest on their part wouldn't make a difference anyway, especially if he'd already started working on it. And since there was no way around that fundamental fact, Sol had gone right to changing the routine to accommodate Ji-won...

But Julian couldn't adjust so easily. He was still shocked at the fact that Ji-won was doing a drama, and they were just now finding out.

"I wish he would have said something earlier," said Julian, but as he said it, he remembered how Ji-won had mentioned that he had some solo schedules. So in a way, he had mentioned it. Julian just hadn't thought much of it at the time.

But still... a drama...

The manager smiled and patted Yeong-sik on the shoulder. It was a pretty open secret that Yeong-sik had been having a bit of a hard time lately with his growth spurt, so the managers and even the coaches had been taking it easy on him. The company knew that eventually he'd sort himself out, and in the meantime it was good that he was going to be tall, even if it did make choreographing a bit more difficult. A nice tall visual was hard to find, let alone two.

"Ji-won will be here tomorrow," he said. "In the meantime, he's been recording his parts for the album at night after filming. I know it's going to be harder to incorporate him into the routine, but... it looks like he might be missing a few music show performances too."

So he won't have as many opportunities to mess up, thought Julian. He didn't know what was worse, the fact that this was happening or the fact that Sol actually looked relieved about this.

[Night]

Yeong-sik shifted until he could catch Julian in his peripheral vision, curious if he had known about this development. Given their perceived closeness, he could only guess that Ji-won would have told him. He was surprised to see that Julian appeared to be just as shocked as the rest of them were. Apparently Ji-won hadn't felt the need to inform any of them that he wasn't going to be joining them any time soon.

He wasn't entirely sure what that might mean for them in the long run. He did know that it didn't bode well for their pending comeback. He exhaled, trying to school his face into something that didn't suggest he was considering their impending public doom.

Se-jin threw an arm over his shoulder, yanking him down slightly so that Yeong-sik was stooped down to accommodate the height difference. "Don't worry, I'm sure that he'll pick it up quickly! Ji-won is a smart kid." The eldest looked around for confirmation. "Right? It won't be a big deal."

Yeong-sik huffed, but didn't shove him away. "I guess so.." He combed back through his recent memories, trying to decide when the last time he'd even seen Ji-won had been. Between his own avoidance and the other's schedule, he couldn't recall. Perhaps he'd been a little too good at dodging group interactions as of late. He could only hope that this wasn't going to be a downhill slope to embarrassing themselves on broadcast television.

Resolved to practice more to (hopefully) reduce the odds, Yeong-sik shuffled his way out from under Se-jin's arm to resume his warm-up.

Se-jin hummed, his ever-present smile not diminishing even as he turned towards Sol and raised his eyebrows -  as if question if he knew what Yeong-sik's problem may be.

[crow]

Sol spared a glance towards Se-jin, but could only shrug helplessly. It wasn't that he didn't know anything--- or at least, Sol had suspicions, anyway--- but it wasn't like he had a solution to offer. Whatever was happening to Yeong-sik, he had rebuffed Sol's entreaties to talk about it, and Sol wasn't the type to push someone until they were ready.

And in the meantime, he had more pressing problems to attend to. Ji-won wasn't their best dancer or their most accomplished vocalist, so he wasn't in the center a lot, but he was generally reliable enough that Sol hadn't anticipated having to chroeograph around him. And five people were easier to plan for than six, but planning around a sixth member who wouldn't always be there...

Was it too late to ask the company to make their title track a ballad?

While Sol sighed and scratched his head, Julian fired off a text at Ji-won.

Hey Mr Big Shot, you weren't even going to tell us you had a drama? >c >c >c

His effort was wasted, however. Three hours of practice later and it hadn't even shown up as read. Only later that evening, when Julian had finished eating dinner, did his phone ping with a reply.

busy. can't talk. ask manager.

---

And so they fell into a pattern. The boys of Nova got up, went to practice, recorded sessions, filmed variety shows if they had any scheduled--- all the typical pre-comeback activities. And for the most part, they saw neither hide nor hair of Ji-won. He was doing some of it, he must have been; but even then, his schedule didn't align with theirs.

It was only when it came time do the jacket photoshoot that they saw him again, and then only because it would have been impossible to do group shots without him there.

Ji-won walked into the studio after everyone else had arrived and were already in the process of being styled. His hair and make-up was already done, but even then, he looked a little... worn around the edges. There was a slow, distracted air to his movements, a look in his eyes that spoke to the fact that his mind was elsewhere as the coordi stood him in front of a rack and held up jackets against his chest to see which one she wanted him to wear.

The drama... The filming wasn't going well.

The first meetings with the director had been fine. It had been a little strange to come back to them the way he was now, having been away for so many years, but everything had felt familiar. And then the cast was finalized and the preliminary readings began, and Ji-won had been faced with an unpleasant surprise of his own.

"Oh, and here comes our leading man! Let me introduce you... Ah, but Ji-wonnie, you've already met, haven't you?"

Kang Tae-oh.

He had gotten taller, his shoulders broader, his features sharpened without that middle-school softness from when Ji-won had seen him last, but that serious, sober expression had stayed exactly the same.

At least Ji-won had the satisfaction of seeing Tae-oh caught off guard, just as he was. But it was Tae-oh who recovered first, who smiled and reached out a hand for Ji-won to shake.

"It's been a long time. I'm looking forward to working with you again."

"Likewise," Ji-won had said. There was nothing else to say.

But he had been away from the industry for six years, and in the intervening time, Tae-oh had been working through the circuit, accumulating experience and training with his own company. It was the first time either of them had been cast as leads, but the difference was apparent even during the readings. Tae-oh was already on his way to embodying his character, while Ji-won stumbled over his lines, apologizing awkwardly as he broke the rapport again and again.

And then there were the sessions, which had to be squeezed in at night, poring over routines and lyrics and everything else he'd been given. It was funny. Ji-won had always thought he might work better alone, without all the hubbub and annoyance of the other members getting in his way. But it was hard to practice a dance routine alone, and there was so much to remember... At one point even the vocal director had walked out of a late night recording session, insisting he needed a smoke, after Ji-won made a mistake on the same part for the fifth time running.

At 3 AM he tumbled into bed--- or, increasingly, into the back of a car to be shipped off to an early morning schedule--- and snatched a few fitful hours of sleep. Then someone would shake him awake and he'd repeat the whole process again.

Maybe he should have been glad to see the others, but it was like he was walking through a haze. But then, it wasn't as if he had known how to talk to them before. Back then it hadn't seemed relevant, and now...

He saw Julian's eyes flick over him, and--- it was so ridiculous--- he felt something like hope gutter in his chest. He didn't even know what he was hoping for, least of all from Julian...

But whatever it was, it didn't come. Julian took one look at him and grimaced; Ji-won could see the words dying on his tongue. Julian turned away, and chatted up one of the make-up artists instead.

"Put this on," said the coordi, and shoved a denim jacket into his hands.

Right. A jacket. That... That was something he could do.

[Night]

Yeong-sik was always delighted to be the first in one of the make-up chairs, if only because it meant that he was finished getting ready with more than enough time to psych himself up for his expected performance. Jacket shoots weren't public, but keeping up a professional appearance and directing his aching body into positions for hours on end wasn't precisely his favorite way to spend the day.

He was waiting patiently for the woman styling his hair to spray what felt like an entire can of holding spray over his head when Ji-won wandered through the door. Even squinting through the opaque plastic of the face shield, he could recognize the outline of the elder. He was so focused on trying to get a read on Ji-won that he was surprised when the screen was removed and he was ushered from the chair. A manager was directing him towards wardrobe, his stylist already giving him the uncomfortable sort of side eye that told him he had probably outgrown the outfit she'd been planning for the past month and had to make last minute readjustments.

If he wanted a chance to scope out Ji-won, he supposed he wouldn't get any better opportunity. He ambled towards the racks, hip-checking himself on Se-jin's chair and muttering out a rushed apology as he passed. Despite being full of his usual level of clumsy distraction, he wasn't oblivious to the cold shoulder that Julian turned towards Ji-won when he noticed him. Yeong-sik frowned. Were they fighting? A lover's quarrel would only serve to cause further issue with their upcoming album promotions. And yet he couldn't help the small glimmer of jealous hope that tugged against his ribs...

He settled himself close to the racks and turned his attention fully towards Ji-won as the stylist rushed around him, shoving various items against his person.

Ji-won looked terrible. A heavy coat of make-up could only do so much to fight the bags forming under his eyes, and Yeong-sik wondered if he'd been sleeping at all for the past several weeks. He seemed smaller than Yeong-sik remembered, so much so that Yeong-sik wasn't sure it could be explained away by his sudden growth spurt. It was something in the slump of his shoulders, or perhaps the haze that floated through his eyes. Yeong-sik hesitated. Should he say something?

A quick glance toward Julian's turned back was all the motivation he needed. He cleared his throat, waving one hand in Ji-won's direction as he raised his arms for the woman holding a blazer up against his chest.

"Hey, Hyung. You look terrible." Well that certainly hadn't been what he'd intended to say. He rushed to try and backtrack as color flooded his cheeks. "I just mean... Are you okay? You don't look so good." Not much better, but it was something he supposed.

[crow]

Ji-won was distracted enough that he didn't register right away that Yeong-sik was speaking to him. He'd seen Yeong-sik walk over, but he had just been so certain that Yeong-sik only meant to speak to the coordi. There was a pause--- too long--- before his eyes flicked up. Had Yeong-sik always been that tall?

It took another moment for him to process the question, at which point he smiled, as though Yeong-sik were merely another host on one of the variety shows they filmed for. "I'm fine," he said. "The drama is going well. The whole cast has fantastic chemistry together, and the director has been really welcoming..."

The coordi laughed at his answer. "Ji-won, you're not at an interview."

"Ah," said Ji-won. His eyes widened incrementally for a second. He hadn't even caught himself--- He blinked again. Yeong-sik. Right.

Since when had Yeong-sik ever talked to Ji-won of his own accord?

Ji-won's gaze swept to Julian again, wondering if Julian had put Yeong-sik up to this somehow, but Julian's attention was firmly on the make-up artist he was chatting with. Even so... No, it was giving him a headache to think about it so much. "I'm fine," he repeated, this time in his perfunctory backstage tone of bland dismissal. Even then, however, it lacked something of its usual... bite.

[Night]

Yeong-sik's eyebrows drew together in concern. Did Ji-won seriously think he was at an interview? He had a moment of self doubt, glancing around the room to see if there were any hidden cameramen lurking that he hadn't noticed before. With none immediately visible (Thankfully, because the coordi was directing him to pull his t-shirt off and slip on the button up being thrown his way) he had no choice but to accept that Ji-won had no idea where he was.

His attempts at a characteristic shrug off didn't do anything to alleviate his worry. It hadn't even had enough of the usual sting to deter Yeong-sik, who was more than easily enough discouraged. Yeong-sik's frown deepened.

"Are you sure? Because you seem a little... out of it." He attempted to move forward, perhaps put his hand on Ji-won's shoulder to keep his vagrant attention, but the stylist made a disapproving noise and he stayed where he was. "Maybe you should sit down? Have you eaten breakfast already? I'm almost done, I could go get you something from catering?"

Normally Ji-won was the last person he would project this sort of attention on, but it seemed like someone should at least ask him. If Julian wasn't going to worry over him, then Yeong-sik was going to have to. Even if his attention was unwanted.

He slipped the shirt over his shoulders and turned his gaze towards fiddling with the buttons. He couldn't help but sneak glances up at Ji-won from beneath his lashes.

[crow]

"Mmm," said Ji-won absentmindedly. For a moment he was almost tempted to say yes, whatever it was. He hadn't paid too much attention to Yeong-sik until recently--- and Julian was trying his damnedest to dissuade him of that, last time Ji-won had checked--- but the sound of his voice was pleasant in a familiar, indistinct way that made him want to keep listening.

But then he came back to himself a little more, and the words finally registered, and he felt a spark of ire igniting in his gut. It wasn't about the food, though he didn't really know if he was hungry anymore; there was a sort of dull, empty sensation in the pit of his gut that hadn't gone away in days, but he was never sure whether it was hunger or nausea or something else. It was more, just... one more person fussing over him, asking him questions, pressing things on him.

"I'm fine," he said, with more force this time. Even the coordi paused, glancing between him and Yeong-sik, her eyes uncertain. Ji-won had to bite back the urge to sigh again.

Instead, he grabbed the pair of pants she'd been holding and rose from his seat, brushing past the lot of them. They were nearly done with him anyway, and he could still put on his own clothes at least, away from the oppressive atmosphere of everyone hovering around him. "I'll change by myself."