[Night]

It wasn't as though Yeong-sik had been entirely oblivious; he knew well enough that the majority of the people he found himself associated with were more than a little easy on the eyes. He'd always been able to appreciate the more aesthetic aspects of the idol industry - everyone was well dressed, constantly polished to appeal to the public. The lifestyle was rigorous, full of training and schedules and diets that for the most part kept everyone fairly trim and fit. Many, like himself, had been sought out for their looks rather than any sort of latent talent.

So it wasn't like he didn't know, in the vacant and forgettable way that one might remember how to breathe, that he was constantly surrounded by attractive men. Perhaps the rather stressful environment that surrounded their trainee days had left him little room to consider his opinion of it. Maybe the time spent adjusting to hectic schedules and sleep deprivation had left him so dead to the world that it hadn't mattered.  Whatever the reason, it had never been a problem until now.

More than once he'd almost been driven to distraction during practice by an ill-timed glance at one of his groupmates, nearly tripping and making even more of a fool of himself than usual. The only thing that kept him from doing so had been muscle memory, paired with the fact that the others likely expected him to do the worst in some moves to begin with. Dancing had never come naturally to him, and while he'd never expected that it would be to an advantage he couldn't help but find himself thankful that it covered for any mistakes caused by wandering eyes.

While Yeong-sik was sure that the rest of NOVA had an easy time writing off his flustered mishaps as either inability or his general proclivity towards embarrassment, it was starting to wear on him. He knew realistically that he was the weak link of the best of days, and in the two short months since he'd come to the sudden realization that perhaps there was a bit more to his idle appreciation than once thought he'd only gotten worse. It was fear of holding the others back when they'd already come so far that led him to seek advice, despite whatever misgivings he might have about coming forward about his sudden interest.

There weren't exactly an abundance of options - which is why late Wednesday afternoon he found himself standing awkwardly outside the closed door of his own dorm room, trying to gather his courage. He could faintly hear Jeremy and Se-jin bickering from somewhere down the hallway, knew logically he was going to have to do something here if he didn't want to be caught poised to knock on his own door for the fifth time in as many weeks. With no small amount of reluctance he pushed the door open, peeking around the frame to be sure that Sol was actually in the room and he hadn't psyched himself up for nothing.

"Sol! You're not too busy to talk are you? I mean, even if you're not busy, I can come back later. Maybe I should just do that actually! I didn't mean to disturb you. Sorry!" The words sort of just fell out of his mouth, tumbling over one another before he could even process it. So much for gathered confidence. He turned tail back towards the door, nearly running into it in his haste to try and disappear back into the hallway.

[crow]

It was a lazy Wednesday afternoon, and Sol had been asleep.

To be honest, Sol had sort of expected idol life to be... busier. In the three months leading up to debut, it certainly had been. By the time they were backstage at their debut showcase, he had already lost all semblance of a day-night cycle in favor of endless hours of practicing. But after they were done with promotions... Well, that was it. There were a couple of variety show gigs here and there, but even then, they spent more time in waiting rooms than they did on the actual filming stage.

The trouble was that they just weren't famous yet. Seniors at music shows would laugh and tell them that they'd pine for lazy times like this once they made it big, but now, in the lull after their second comeback, Sol was mostly spinning his wheels like the rest of the boys. He'd gotten up early to clean the dorm top to bottom this morning, and had crashed out a little after lunch.

Sol wasn't a heavy sleeper though--- he couldn't be, since he was usually the one who took care of his siblings back when he still lived at home. As soon as the door opened, he was coming to, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Huh?" he said, his voice still thick with sleep. "Yeong-sik...? What's up?"

He had only barely registered who it was when Yeong-sik started scrabbling at the door again, trying to get out. "Hey hey hey! Slow down," Sol said, lurching out of bed and utting a calming hand--- what he hoped was a calming hand--- on Yeong-sik's... arm. He'd been going for the shoulder, but that wasn't a comfortable reach for him, considering their relative heights. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

[Night]

The door half open and nearly through it already, Yeong-sik was already formulating his plan of escape. There weren't many places he could realistically hide out in the dorm; they certainly had it better than they could have, given that they weren't forced to share a bedroom between the six of them. But outside of stuffing himself into Julian's closet and doing his best not to bash his head against the wall, his best bet was just to leave all together. He was already contemplating the best place to waste a few hours when Sol caught up to him. He stiffened, his heart rabbiting against his ribs, but didn't pull away.

A blush was creeping at the edges of his ears when he turned to face Sol more head on, ducking his head a bit as though it would make him more small and unimposing. Given that he had a few inches on Sol, all that it accomplished was putting them more at eye level -- which was significantly worse. He wasn't sure he could have a conversation about his budding homosexuality and look Sol in the eyes. There was a very real possibility that he was going to get a little angry; it wasn't just his own livelihood he was risking by even bringing it up. He couldn't actually imagine Sol getting angry about much of anything, but the worry was still there.

He settled for pinning his gaze to the floor, shifting a bit back and forth in a way that belied his nervousness. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." This had been a stupid plan to begin with. He should be able to control himself, this wasn't anyone else's problem. Sol's immediate worry over a possible situation only served to make him feel worse for bringing this up at all. He shouldn't be worrying people just because he couldn't help but sneak a peak every now and then. This was on him.

But Sol was standing there looking so understanding, his hand a warm and comforting weight on his arm, and Yeong-sik couldn't just leave him with nothing.

"N-no! No, of course nothing happened. Or, no - well. Nothing happened today, and everything is fine! Everyone else is fine, it's really nothing to be worried about, I'm not sure why I brought it up. Not... that I'm bringing anything up. It's just..." He shifted again, mustering up the remaining dregs of whatever pep-talk he'd given himself standing outside the door.

"I was wondering if you ever...Uhm. If you had ever had a problem with..." Yeong-sik had absolutely no idea how to phrase his way around this. "I mean, do you ever maybe have thoughts about people that you shouldn't?" That left it perhaps a little too open ended. He could be referring to all sorts of worrying things. A shaky sigh escaped through his nose, and he was clearly growing exasperated with himself. "Like... sexual thoughts?"

This was possibly the most awkward moment of his relatively young life. And it wasn't as though he had a lack of things for it to contend with, either.

[crow]

Clearly something was wrong. Sol could see it from the way that Yeong-sik seemed to be looking anywhere but at him. A flush was creeping up Yeong-sik's features, and for a moment Sol wondered whether he had gotten a fever or something. It had been raining the other day...

But first and foremost, he wanted to give Yeong-sik room to talk. He had faith that Yeong-sik might come out with it if he just waited and tried to look as understanding and non-threatening as he could. It had been almost a year now since their debut, and they'd been training together even before then, so he understood a little by now about how Yeong-sik psyched himself out sometimes.

Eventually his patience paid off, though he wasn't sure what to do with what Yeong-sik said once he'd heard it. "Thoughts about people that I shouldn't...?" Still fresh from his nap, Sol didn't make the connection right away. "You mean like thinking mean thoughts about people?"

Except... no, not like that. Not like that at all, apparently.

Sol laughed, a little awkwardly--- mostly startled. Of all the things he hadn't been expecting to hear... He didn't mean to do it, but it slipped out before he could catch himself.

"Um," he said. "Sure, I guess? I think most people have."  Still, he did have to ask. He didn't know how much help he could be if he didn't know what kind of problem Yeong-sik was having. "Why? Did you have your eye on someone, or something?"

[Night]

Clearly his efforts to talk his way around an admission had been a little too successful; it didn't seem as though Sol understood what he was trying to imply whatsoever. Sol's laugh, however non-malicious in intention, didn't put him any more at ease. He drew a little further into himself, shoulders hunching forward until they were positioned somewhere near his ears.

"Not really anyone in particular. It's more like a general... everyone." He admitted. He cleared his throat, expression pained. His eyes cut back towards the open door; he knew he should have escaped when he'd had the chance. "You know. People of a more... male persuasion." It was mumbled, mostly in an effort to keep anyone who may be coming down the hall from hearing him, but it was out there.

Now would have been a wonderful time for a sinkhole to open up beneath the apartment building and just swallow him. Yeong-sik had never been quite so lucky. While it seemed like a world-shaking thing to admit even to himself, the room remained disappointingly unchanged; their bunkbed shoved against the wall, closet open and recently organized, a small collection of old books he'd found in a secondhand store earlier in the day settled on his own bed and Sol's ridiculous banana plush situated on the other. No sign of an impending apocalypse, but Yeong-sik was still braced for the fallout.

How had he ever thought this was a conversation he should bring upon himself?

"You know, it's stupid. Probably nothing right? I shouldn't have brought it up. I''m really sorry to have woken you from your nap." He echoed Sol's nervous laugh with one of his own, shoving his hands into his pockets just to have something to do with them. "Forget I said anything."

[crow]

There was a slight, concerned crease between Sol's brows as he listened to Yeong-sik, which resolved itself into a bemused smile when Yeong-sik finally managed to eke out the words 'male persuasion'. "You know," he said, "I always thought when I had this talk it would be with one of my brothers. Not Geon... But Yul, maybe." His expression was very briefly contemplative, but the moment passed, and then Yeong-sik was trying to beat a retreat again. Sol sighed, still smiling, and grabbed him gently by the shoulders to steer him to the bunk.

Sol pushed down on Yeong-sik until he was sitting, then went and shut the door and plopped down beside him. Sol reached for his stuffed banana, pulling it to his chest to hug at first, before the thought occurred to him and he held it out as an offering to Yeong-sik instead. Yeong-sik looked as though he needed something to hug.

Sol didn't speak immediately, but looked as though he was thinking, trying to find the best way to put Yeong-sik at ease.

Settling on something, he said, "Hey, did I ever tell you about how I used to do ballroom? The other members don't know this, but that's actually where I first learned to dance." He smiled fondly; they were happy memories, before the twins were born, and when his folks still had the time and money to indulge him like that.

"We'd go every week, and... Not to brag, but I was pretty good at it." A hint of mischief flashed over his features. "But after a while my teacher started getting on me about not paying enough attention to my partners. And I realized it was because I was always staring at the other boys... Wondering what it'd be like to dance with them." His smile didn't falter, exactly, but his voice went soft and his eyes had a distant look to them. "I was a lot younger, and it wasn't... But it made me wonder a lot of things about myself. Is that kind of what it's like for you right now?"

[Night]

Yeong-sik allowed himself to be led over to the bed, dropping down with a grateful hum when it became clear that Sol wasn't about to punch him in the face. Or swear at him. Or do any number of other things that the anxious knot of feelings clawing around in his stomach kept insisting would happen if he so much as opened his mouth. Surely a rational discussion couldn't be that bad, right? He was expecting to be told to keep it to himself, of course, but it may even come with some helpful advice.

He pulled his feet up onto the wooden frame of the bunk, curling around his knees in a way that still let him cast a wary eye at his companion. "You used to do Ballroom?" He hadn't known. A small part of him was legitimately interested to learn this new fact about his roommate; the larger part of him was curious where this was going. Were they just going to gloss over it and pretend as though he hadn't said anything?

He was prepared to ask, moments away from interrupting Sol's story to question just what was going on really. It took a few moments for his brain to fully process what he was being told. "You... Really?" Surprise flitted briefly across his features, quickly swallowed by understanding. It certainly answered a few questions that he'd had regarding the younger's rather close relationship with Se-jin, he supposed. It really wasn't all that shocking when he stepped back and considered... well, everything.

He probably should have caught on sooner.

Yeong-sik probably shouldn't have felt quite so... relieved. But all the doubts clouding his mind since stepping over the threshold quieted, and for the first time he was more than a little hopeful that Sol may be able to provide a solution to his problem. Unfortunately, the lack of anxiety left plenty of room in his emotional minefield for embarrassment to take over. And he was very, very embarrassed.

"It's... something like that yeah..." He hedged. The color that had begun to slowly fade from the tips of his ears and edges of his cheeks returned in full force. "How did you deal with the... distraction?" He asked after a moment of careful consideration. "From wanting to dance with them, I mean."

[crow]

Sol smiled ruefully, and spread his hands. Ta-da. Surprise. It... wasn't easy; his pulse had quickened a little as he said the words, even though his voice had stayed steady, as if he were only telling a mildly interesting anecdote, or a bedtime story for the twins, just without the funny voices. But then, Yeong-sik had already admitted to being at least a little curious about guys, and Sol had known this about himself for a long time. It was probably infinitely more nerve-wracking for Yeong-sik.

He could see the gears turning in Yeong-sik's head, could see the moment Yeong-sik came to some sort of epiphany. What about it had given him away, in retrospect? Sol wanted to ask, but it wasn't the time.

He laughed a little, sheepishly, nevertheless; and then Yeong-sik asked his question and Sol choked on his own laughter, only to redouble it, wiping away an imaginary tear so as to give his hands something to do. "Um," he said. "I can tell you what I did, but that's probably not going to be helpful. If you really want to know, I asked one of the other boys after class if he'd dance with me, and he told me he knew one of the girls dared me to do it. Then--- and I remember this really clearly--- I went home, and Geon punched me in the gut because he thought it was Yul coming home from cram school, and I forgot all about what happened til way later." At the time he hadn't exactly been grateful for it, but in retrospect, Sol thought it was probably just as well. Whether Geon knew it or not, he'd saved Sol a lot of agonizing.

Sol turned his gaze back on Yeong-sik. "Your problems are, um, a little different than mine though, aren't they? And I don't think punching you anywhere is going to help." He tapped his chin, thinking. "Is it... Is it just that you're having trouble focusing? Is it..." Sol was starting to turn a little pink himself. "... You know. Frustration? Because if it is, um. I mean. I could... try and help, with that. If you, uh, wanted."

[Night]

Yeong-sik frowned, curling inward until his knees were almost flat against his chest. He knew rationally that Sol wasn't laughing at him - he knew enough about the guy to recognize that this was more a reaction to an embarrassing question. He couldn't help but feel a bit stupid for even having to broach the subject, regardless. He really ought to have been capable of dealing with this on his own. It wasn't as though Sol were dealing with the same issues - he'd clearly figured it out for himself.

He managed a derisive laugh at Sol's less than helpful story. "Who knows. Maybe someone should punch me in the stomach." He sighed, pressing his forehead against his knees. "It's pretty hard to be concerned with... dancing with people if you're suffering from internal bleeding."

The euphemism really wasn't working here, but he didn't have it in him to just be outright and say that he'd been plagued by inappropriate reactions to entirely run of the mill experiences. There was no proper way to bring up getting turned on by Julian's (or even Jeremy's) general proclivities towards shirtlessness. Among other things.

Yeong-sik's head shot up at Sol's next suggestion, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. Surely he wasn't suggesting...? His mind blanked, and he was left sort of just staring at Sol and looking faintly dumbfounded for a moment.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't interested; Sol had been the subject of more than one of his "distractions" over the course of the last month or so. His eyes drifted a bit towards the smaller boy's waistline before snapping back up to his face, Yeong-sik's own features an impressive shade of cherry red. There were numerous reasons this would be a bad idea, regardless of whether he wanted to.

"Not that I'm not flattered, or... interested, because I am! Or well, I would be. It's not like you're not.. I mean, I've thought..." Yeong-sik pressed the palms of his hands over his eyes, trying to collect his errant thoughts - and, to a greater degree, hide from the conversation. This was almost worse than having started the conversation in the first place. "I just, aren't you kind of... seeing someone?"

Se-jin's stupid smile flashed briefly through his mind. Yeah, this was a terrible idea.

[crow]

Sol sighed a little, helplessly. He really was a bit out of his depth here. It wasn't that he had never noticed the other members or anything either, but for him, it was hard to get too worked up about anyone in the dorm, at least. Everyone just felt sort of vaguely familial, that was all.

If he thought about it just a little harder, maybe he would have seen the incongruousness of his offer, given that fact. But, well, roommates who spent a lot of time together weren't exactly the same things as brothers either--- a distinction that Sol was deeply familiar with.

As far as he knew, there really wasn't any cure-all answer for the problem that Yeong-sik was probably looking for. "It's just... you know, puberty, isn't it?" said Sol, trying to fill Yeong-sik's mortified silence, his brows knitting together. "Hormones and... stuff like that. I hear it, um, calms down after a while, if that helps?"

He was just beginning to wonder whether he ought to be regretting not paying more attention during biology when he caught Yeong-sik's stupefied stare. He flushed a little himself, and laughed again, involuntarily. "Oh, if you don't want---" he began, only for Yeong-sik to cut him off with stumbling words of his own. Sol turned a little redder, and laughed a little more. "Oh. Wow. Wait, really? Me?" It was probably the wrong thing to focus on--- no, it was definitely the wrong thing to focus on, but Sol was genuinely surprised. He wasn't particularly unhappy about the way he looked, but he'd never considered himself as attractive either. Cute, maybe, but not sexual fantasy material.

Then Yeong-sik dropped another bomb, and Sol blinked, this time in confusion. "Seeing someone...?" he said. He thought about it. "I... I don't think so. What do you mean?"

[Night]

Stupid. Of course he could have just said he wasn't interested and left it at that - Sol was offering to do this to help him, not because he necessarily wanted to. Yeong-sik was sincerely wishing he'd followed his better judgement and fled the scene.

He wasn't sure whether to be more mortified or frustrated with himself. He settled on a healthy mix of both, leaning back far enough that his head thunked against the wall behind them. Yeong-sik made a low, pained sounding noise and closed his eyes in defeat. If they were going to have this conversation then he could at least give himself the gift of relative darkness in which to do so.

"I don't know what to... I shouldn't have said that. Oh god, please just forget I said anything." Or forget the entire conversation. He was fine with that as well. He was certainly going to be doing his best the moment that it ended.

Yeong-sik had never been more ready to change the subject than he was in that moment. He was still processing the sudden realization that there may be anything going on between Sol and their hapless "leader" (And wasn't that something. Yeong-sik slept above them every night and there was no telling what may have been going on, which wasn't a thought he particularly wanted.) but he would rather have to think about that than the realization that he'd said way too much.

"Aren't you and Se-jin kind of..." Fucking? Dating? Platonic life partners? There were a lot of ways he could phrase this. "Together?"

[crow]

Sol patted Yeong-sik's shoulder consolingly, now that they were both sitting and he could comfortably reach it. "Well, the offer's still open if you change your mind," he said. "It doesn't have to mean anything. Just a little blowing off steam between friends." He'd heard it wasn't that uncommon among idols anyway. Yeong-sik's problems, while probably a little more severe than most, weren't all that uncommon a sentiment in the industry for a lot of reasons.

As soon as Yeong-sik mentioned Se-jin though, Sol burst out into laughter that had nothing to do with embarrassment. "S-Sorry, I'm not... I'm not laughing at you. Oh, gosh. This is about how hyung always wants to sleep here, isn't it?"

In retrospect, he probably should have seen that one coming. Now that he was thinking about it, he could see where Yeong-sik had gotten the idea--- and it probably wasn't just about Se-jin crawling into bed with him either. But it was just so hard to conceptualize... Sol shook his head, still smiling, his eyes narrowed into twin crescents of mirth. "Hyung is just like that. I think his family spoiled him a lot, and now that he doesn't live with them anymore, he gets kind of lonely. Besides, isn't he like that with everyone?"

[Night]

Yeong-sik looked skeptical, but nodded regardless. "Blowing off steam... right. I'll keep that in mind." He couldn't imagine forcing himself to ever broach this subject again, but if agreeing meant that Sol would willingly let him drop it then he would probably agree to most anything.

Sol's response to his question really didn't put him anymore at ease. "Yeah, everyone. He definitely bothers Jeremy and Julian to sleep in bed with them all the time. I can't tell you how many times he's crawled into bed with me." Somehow he wasn't sure he sounded quite as sarcastic as he intended. But Se-jin was tumbling into the room, seemingly ignorant of the fact that the door had been closed for a reason. The older male draped himself rather unceremoniously over the closest person - Sol, in this case, since Yeong-sik had tucked himself back against the wall to avoid such a fate - and Yeong-sik supposed that the conversation was over.

---

He'd done his best to throw himself into work where he could get it, deciding that if he just didn't think about it then the problem would resolve itself. Any time he got a little too interested in dancing, to quote Sol, he just thought long and hard about the conversation that they'd had. It was a pretty decent mood killer, if nothing else - though he imagined that Sol likely hadn't intended for it to be. He figured that if it worked, then there was no point in trying to find another way.

And it had worked - pretty well, actually. He hadn't found himself tripping up quite as often in practice, and he'd managed to actually greet Jeremy in passing when he'd caught him wandering around shirtless before ducking into his room and trying not to bash his head against the nearest hard surface. An overall improvement, if he did say so himself.

What he hadn't counted on was the introduction of additional feelings in the equation. He couldn't pinpoint exactly the moment that the switch had flipped, or even why. It wasn't as though Ji-won were the most personable, or even one of the members that Yeong-sik found himself spending a lot of time with. It had been two years or better since they'd begun training together and half the time Yeong-sik couldn't even be sure that Ji-won didn't whole-heartedly hate him. Yet somehow, against all instinct, he found he couldn't help himself.

Initially he'd written it off as simple lust; he'd been dealing with that for long enough now that it made the most sense. But hormones couldn't explain the way his pulse jumped on the rare occasion that they interacted for more than the few moments required to discuss a routine or go over their parts while recording, or that he'd found his eyes drawn less and less frequently to the way that Julian's shirt flew up when doing particular dance moves. His issue had evolved from a general interest in everyone to a much more Ji-won shaped problem. And he really wasn't sure how to address that.

Yeong-sik yanked his sweater out of his bag, taking a mental note of whether he had his phone and keys as they gathered everything to leave the practice room. He wrestled the hoodie over his head - both managing to knock his hat off and severely destroy any semblance of dignity in the process as his arms got caught in the half-inside-out sleeves. When he emerged red-faced and rumpled out the other side, he caught sight of Ji-won nearby and came to a sudden realization; there was absolutely nothing keeping him from asking Ji-won if he wanted to hang out and grab something to eat now that their schedule was clear for the evening. Sure, it was a little selfish to do so with an ulterior motive, but if he presented as just friends going to dinner then surely it couldn't be that odd right? He would get to spend time with the older boy, and Ji-won would get free dinner. Everyone was a winner.

"Hey, hyung!" Yeong-sik stooped to pluck his hat off the floor, nearly stumbling as he came back up. "Are you doing anything right now?"

[crow]

So... Before he came to Korea and got assigned to this group, Julian hadn't really considered himself a busybody. And it really wasn't any of his business. But when the coaches introduced them all to each other, there had been this one kid--- the chairman's hand had lingered on this kid's shoulder; he was some sort of big shot, some child actor, Julian didn't know. Julian's Korean was still pretty bad at the time, and he couldn't keep up with the pace of the gossip. But this pretty boy had this TV-ready smile, even though he was still technically just a trainee like the rest of them.

And then the chairman left the room, and his entire face went cold, just like that.

Interesting, thought Julian.

To give him credit where it was due, this little ice king of a boy--- Ji-wonnie--- put in the work. He'd sing and he'd dance, and even though he wasn't the best at either, he didn't complain and he didn't drag anyone down. But he didn't help anyone either, and if someone else screwed up, Julian would spot Ji-won rolling his eyes at them sometimes, or sighing and stalking off for his water break without a word to anyone.

Hmm... no, stalking off wasn't the right word. Ji-won's movements were gentle even when he was doing his whole 'I don't know how to have feelings' deal. But the idea was there, anyway.

Julian could have left well enough alone. He probably should have, to be honest. It wasn't like he liked prickly people any more than anyone else. On the other hand though, if the group succeeded, which Julian was hoping it would--- gee, it'd suck if he'd come all the way from Canada only to have it blow up in his face--- then they were going to be stuck with each other for the next, what, seven or ten years? The least this guy could do was stop looking as if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

So Julian started sitting next to him at lunch.

"Wonnie Wonnie Ji-wonnie~" he said, delivered in that kind of terrible off-key sing-song that only a designated rap member could manage. Ji-won's expression, which had been carefully neutral, immediately soured. His entire table was empty... Just the way he liked it, Julian would bet.

"Can I help you?" said Ji-won, in a tone that could have frozen the water right in Julian's glass.

Julian made up his mind, and sat reeeeeal close.

"Do you mind," said Ji-won. His lips were pressed together into a thin line. Julian grinned.

"I don't mind," he said, enunciating each syllable in slow, painstaking Korean. And then he pretended to be woefully foreign and woefully bad at Korean for the rest of the meal, carrying on loudly in whatever broken banter he could manage. He stole liberally from Ji-won's tray and replaced what he took with his own vegetables that he didn't care for.

He could see Ji-won's knuckles go white around his chopsticks, and wondered for a moment if this was considered bullying. But then he shrugged and kept on eating. It was kind of hard to feel bad for Ji-won... and it was kind of funny.

It didn't stop being funny. Or, well, mostly it didn't. At first, Julian didn't really understand what he was doing either, except trying to get under Ji-won's skin. But if he thought Ji-won was just going to take it and not retaliate, he was surprisingly wrong. If subtle attempts to make Julian feel unwelcome didn't work, Ji-won was perfectly happy to tell him in as many words to get lost. Yell at him, even.

But it was kind of like teasing a little kid. The ineffectual quality of his protestations was what made them fun.

And the thing was, as much as Ji-won didn't seem to want his company... Julian was the only one who would approach him at all. Sometimes the other trainees stared at him as though he had grown a third head or something for going up and talking to Ji-won. The chairman's favorite. Hmm. Julian wondered if there was a story there. But if there was, he didn't know it, and he was beginning to think maybe he didn't care.

And the other thing about spending so much time with a person--- you started to learn their tells. This wasn't at all what Julian had in mind when he started chatting Ji-won up, but after a while he could start to tell when Ji-won was really about to rip into someone. And if he could see it coming, he could interject, crack a bad joke, diffuse the situation... then go and corner Ji-won later about how maybe it wasn't great to yell at twelve-year-olds who looked like they were about to cry anyway.

Mostly Ji-won huffed and didn't listen. But he did start holding it in more when it looked like he was about to snap.

---

Nearly a year into debut, Julian wasn't sure he'd call Ji-won a real boy just yet, but he was getting there. And he was really good at pretending for the cameras. That would be the actor whiz kid training, Julian supposed. But he still wouldn't talk to anyone when the cameras weren't on, and it was still kind of a stretch to say anyone else was 'comfortable' around him. Even on-stage, sometimes.

In theory, Julian should have been overjoyed to see someone else interested in breaking the ice with Ji-won. Hey, Julian wasn't a jealous parent, or fairy godmother, or whatever. That definitely wasn't it. But while Korean wasn't his forte, Julian had learned plenty about the reading of looks these past two years--- Ji-won's and otherwise--- and he knew the one Yeong-sik was aiming at Ji-won when he thought no one was looking.

Not that Yeong-sik was the person Julian would have chosen to toss into the lion's den to begin with. Too shy, too sweet, too soft-hearted. But Yeong-sik throwing himself at Ji-won with hearts in his eyes was a disaster just waiting to happen. Julian would be lying if he'd said he wasn't keeping a closer eye on Yeong-sik too, lately.

And one day, after dance practice had wrapped, his worst fears came true.

"Hey, hyung! Are you doing anything right now?"

Ohhhhhh no.

This was serious! This called for serious evasive maneuvers! Julian wandered over to the two of them, and draped one arm across each of their shoulders. "Hey! My favorite dongsaengs!" he said. Julian could play blithe obliviousness like the fiddle now. "Let's get ramyeon! Ramyeon!"

Ji-won was already rolling his eyes, and he was pretty sure Yeong-sik was going to look like a kicked puppy in about two seconds. But anything had to be better than leaving those two alone.

[Night]

Yeong-sik had drifted closer, prepared to make his offer. He was equally prepared to be brushed off, truth be told. Despite the fact that his entire world view had changed over the past few months he wasn't quite dense enough to think that Ji-won wanted to hang out with him. All that mattered was that he was prepared to ask, and whether he was rejected or not could be dealt with accordingly.

The weight of Julian's arm across his shoulders took him by surprise; he gave a startled squeak, quickly trying to cover it with a cough. Yeong-sik blinked owlishly up at Julian over his shoulder and tried not to look too taken aback. Julian had never been particularly prone to random bouts of skinship, and Yeong-sik couldn't recall ever having been called anyone's favorite anything.

"Actually, I was just about to ask if Ji-won..." He allowed the sentence to trail off. He hadn't gotten quite far enough in his plan to have a definitive answer for what he was going to ask - something involving dinner, but nowhere particular in mind. He frowned, his eyebrows knitting together as he took in their positions and Julian's somewhat out of character response. Had he done something wrong by talking to Ji-won in the first place? Was he not supposed to?

Yeong-sik deflated a little bit. He jammed his hat back on his head, low enough that it could cover his eyes, and nodded. "Nevermind. It wasn't important. Ramyeon sounds good." He shoved his hands into the pocket of his sweatshirt and shrugged Julian's arm off of his shoulders so he could collect his bag.

"How come you never offer to buy me ramyeon?" Jeremy appeared from behind them, filling the empty space left by Yeong-sik's departure by promptly beginning to poke at Julian's ribs. "It's not very nice to play favorites, you know."

Yeong-sik watched the exchange from near the door and tried not to look too dejected. It was just one chance - he'd get another one, and it wasn't like Julian had known what he was trying to do. He'd catch Ji-won some other time and maybe, if he was feeling brave, give it another go. Surely Julian couldn't have last minute plans every time, right?