[Sarah]

(Tagging language, sexual themes, and depression)
There were few things in life that could catch Chrysies off guard anymore. She’d experienced life – humanity – eventually it became predictable. Humans, those that knew their mortality, claimed the immortals were the ones without Chaos. She had found that was not so much the case. Humans fancied themselves snowflakes, but even snowflakes took predictable shapes. Maybe the immortals had lost their connection to unpredictability, maybe everyone had. At the end of the day pondering that quandary fell so far outside of her job description that she just let it go.

[Sarah]

“So, you’re the woman that has been fucking my husband.”

The words played over and over in her mind until she couldn’t think straight. She remembered – vaguely – staring at the two of them dumbfounded. “Oh,” she’d breathed, “oh.” The second ‘oh’ was no more eloquent but it had been a bit stronger. Chrysies had then promptly disappeared.

Now she was hidden, an utter mess, and feeling pulled at from all sides. Her name rang against her mind, drawing on her soul, as much as the woman’s words were. The words droned on repeat until her vision blurred and she lost her balance.

[Sarah]

Fucking her husband. He’d been married. How had Chrysies not seen it? She saw everything. It was her job to see everything, but she’d made herself blind to him. The very first moment he’d showed a facsimile of interest she’d shut out her ability to really see him.

As for the admittedly childish hiding she was doing now… He still loved his wife. He hadn’t said anything at the time – Chrysies hadn’t given him the time to say anything – but her blinders weren’t on anymore. He still loved her, and he would go back to her. Chrysies wasn’t even mad. In reality she wasn’t anything. She couldn’t be anything as she wasn’t even human, yet knowing Warden was no longer hers made her feel as though she was being crushed by a physical weight. She knew heartbreak and she knew grief and she knew her reaction to this was illogical.

[Sarah]

Death. The only thing that could break through to her. The breath she took to steady herself was pitiful, but it was enough to draw her out of her little hiding place. The death wasn’t from the surgical side of the hospital. She was, in relative terms, safe from seeing Warden.

The room was empty save for the soul awaiting her. The doctors and nurses had cleared out – even the body was gone. The soul turned to her expectantly. It was a soft light, a kind light, and she hoped they found peace on the other side. She never really checked where they went once she helped them move on. Admittedly she hadn’t cared before now. She’d reaped saints and sinners alike. Where they went after had nothing to do with her. All she did was open the door from the mortal realm to whatever after-realm they believed in.

[Sarah]

For lack of anywhere else to go she sank to the cold tile of the dead man’s room. He wasn’t using it anymore. her face was puffy, and her eyes were bloodshot, but she still had tears. She didn’t feel empty yet. She didn’t want to feel empty. She didn’t want…

To the Reapers Chrysies were ineffective at her job. They’d rather she was corrupt and sold her souls than connect to mortal lives. She knew why they hated her. Despite feeling like her own non-existent soul was being crushed she could feel and she could even cope with her feelings. Most Reapers would be torn apart form the inside out or go crazy if they felt anything. She was lucky and they were jealous she had more than they did. Some days being able to feel was the worst thing imaginable, but she wouldn’t trade it for the world.

[Sarah]

“Chrysies?” the soft call of her voice reached her ears this time. She didn’t want any of this to be happening. She didn’t even acknowledge the voice. Warden. Instead she stared at the white tile that warped with the wetness pooled in her eyes and hugged her legs to her chest.

He sat next to her so close they were touching. An invitation. She took it because she didn’t feel empty. She felt like she was being torn into a billion tiny pieces and lit on fire. Chrysies leaned into him and sobs wracked her already weak body and she barely contained wailing because that truly would be too much. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and whispered a string of sweet unintelligible words to her. He sounded kinder than he had any right to be. She was too weak to deny him.

[Sarah]

They sat on the floor together for a long time. She knew he didn’t have this kind of time, and he knew it, and he also knew she knew it. “Its okay that you love her – that you want to be with her,” she choked out. Her voice was overly wet from the crying. She noticed a few sounds had stopped, most had come from her, but she also realized she’d cut him off from whatever he’d been saying.

[Sarah]

“She’s my wife,”

“I know,”

“She cheated on me,”

“I know,” Chrysies admitted quietly. He recoiled from her slightly and she finally looked at him. “Once I saw the two of you standing next to each other I knew,” she explained. Her voice was steady, and the tears finally stopped coming. On some miracle she was able to stand and leave him in the dead man’s room. It wasn’t like she was conscious of where she was going to go next. She just couldn’t be near Warden anymore.

[Sarah]

Chrysies knew she couldn’t stop function - shouldn’t. She had no right to react this way. He didn’t know her, and she didn’t know him. Right now she needed the empty. Right now she needed the nothingness that all immortals were afforded.

The emptiness set in and she no longer bothered to feel the flow of time. Warden had gone back to his wife and he’d pushed Chrysies away. They were beautiful together – perfect. The hospital, those that had become close to her, began to regard her as something broken and in turn distanced themselves as well. Maybe She’d pushed them away but the distinction hardly mattered.

[Sarah]

“Hello.” The first words to break Chrysies out of her emotionless state. She glanced up at the man standing next to her with surprise. He wasn’t wearing the uniform of the staff. How could he even see her? That he could pull her from an immortal state of being was worthy of exploration in itself.

“H-hi,” she stuttered out. Her voice broke on the single syllable word.

The man’s posture had already been relaxed but upon hearing her a kindness came to his features that she should’ve hated but didn’t.  He was tall and fit and from the gleam in his eyes Chrysies knew he was off limits. “Are you okay?” he asked, tilting his head just so.

[Hunt Complete]

[Sarah]

“I’m feeling a little better now,” she admitted and offered him a small smile. She kept her voice soft but her eyes imploring, and her body shielded but not enough to block him out completely. The manipulation wasn’t even wholly fake. The stranger cracked a smirk and leaned on the counter next to her. Whether he was aware of the manipulation or not he was playing along or falling for it. That was until a fist came through to his cheek bone and he stumbled to the floor.

[Sarah]

Chrysies took a surprised step backwards. Someone’s hands caught her shoulders and pulled her to them. They were familiar hands, hands that had held her plenty of times before now. “Come on,” Warden said. His soft voice was so familiar to her, she almost didn’t believe he was the one saying the words.

“Yes doctor,” she breathed. His nearness made her heart ache and her stomach roll. Chrysies let him guide her away from wherever she’d been in the hospital. Eventually he helped her into a dark lit hospital room. There was an empty bed and everything. She turned toward him, but his firm grip on her shoulders forced her forward.

[Sarah]

“She’s gone,” Warden said as he forced her to sit on the bed. She was at least finally able to face him. Her brows furrowed and she frowned with worry. He had dark bags under his eyes, and he looked too thin.

“What?” she asked, genuinely unable to parse his meaning. Who was gone? Who was that man outside? Who’d punched him?

“My wife – Debra, my ex-wife – she left,” Warden said, and she wished his voice wasn’t so soft, so soothing, just this once. He deserved to yell at her – she deserved to be yelled at. Strangely she felt… well she wasn’t really sure what she felt – wrong, guilty – and the memories from her catatonia were unavailable to her. Losing memories was unexpected but she’d never closed herself down like that before. She figured it was nothing less than a miracle that she’d snapped out of it.

[Sarah]

“I’m sorry,” Chrysies said. Warden smiled at her because he knew she were genuine, and his smile was sad. “I don’t-“ she began to say but stopped when she realized Warden was speaking at the same time. He gestured for her to continue. “I don’t remember anything after she came that first time,” she admitted apologetically.

“I know. We,” he hesitated. “I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to get you to come back. The Reapers said you might never remember,” he said. He’d moved his hands when he’d sat her down and they were now holding her own. She only noticed because he’d squeezed them.

[Sarah]

“Reapers?” Her voice was as soft as his. She looked up at him questioningly. Calling on the Reapers was incredibly dangerous even for other Reapers. That he would do this… That he had learned how – she couldn’t imagine the pain he must have been going through. She could imagine it actually, and she imagined he knew how she’d felt at the revelation that he’d been married but sleeping with her. “Why?”

“Because I love you,” he said. He hadn’t even paused. His words gave her pause though. Chrysies stared at him dumbly as he shifted his weight and clasped his hands together, probably to keep them from doing something he didn’t want to do.