by Mousen » 08/31/2014 4:46 PM
Oh no. She knew Belias was more delicate than he let on, that his emotional state was always... precarious. (Hell, the same thing could be said for herself. Not that she'd ever admit to it.) But... Damn, people could sure pick their moments. Zu'hai, the next time someone upset Belias this badly there would be broken nose, dammit. It angered her and it saddened her, and it scared her. This was the Belias of old, skin and bones in a freezing temple who cared more about the light of a candle than himself.
She stopped, falling behind him."Belias, please. It scares me to see you like this. Speak to me, please."
Communicating her emotions had never been-- hell, would never be her strong suit. Zari almost hoped he wouldn't turn around to meet her gaze, it'd be easier that way. "Belias, without you I'd have died a long time ago. Literally, yeah... well, sure. But I'm not talking about that, before we met I wasn't... living, not really. I thought I was happy, but I was just running away. I spent my entire goddamn life running away because it was easier than facing up to the fact I'm basically just a disaster on two-to-four legs." She was about thirty seconds from a cheesy, lovestruck declaration and it terrified her.
"Belias. I have fucked up nearly every single relationship I've ever had. The only reason the circus still keep me is because they're as screwed to hell as I am. Believe me, it's like I tried to get them to throw me out. But... There's you, and you were so damned stubborn that I just couldn't leave you alone. And then, I got to know you," she laughed, looking up towards the sky. Anywhere but the figure in front of her. "You're so damn perfect, Belias. You know that? I mean, you're damaged and stubborn and you make me deal with all the emotions I don't want to, but you're the kindest, most patient, most-- Zu'hai, you act like you don't deserve anything, but you probably deserve a lot more than me."
Zari paused, dragging the back of her hand across her eyes. The little bit of make up she'd bothered with today was smudging and she didn't care. "You stupid old dragon, Belias. You don't have the faintest bloody inkling of how lucky I am to have you."
We’re all hysterical & going nowhere together.
C’mon rapture. Let’s go bedazzling.
Nothing gets futured without its own spitshine
& I’m already not not not not not not miraculous.