[Freezair]

-Mission Objectives-
-Retrieve GROCIERIES from NABIAS
-Retrieve PARCEL from POST OFFICE
-Escort THE PACKAGE through NABIAS



-Rendezvous at BASE by EIGHTEEN HUNDRED HOURS

"Be good, you two!" Mrs. Dashall bade them as she sent them along their way.

Humbling Eldrich Overlord was pleased. His manufactured instincts were please to find themselves in a wide-open space, with no restrictions placed on where he could and couldn't go--as it was his artificial nature to explore and investigate, placing limits on his curiosity only served to make him more fidgety. So long as he completed his MISSION OBJECTIVES and made it home by EIGHTEEN HUNDRED HOURS--it was currently only OH NINE-HUNDRED HOURS--he was in the clear to pounce about and explore as he saw fit.

He also had the task of wearing out Cadpig the puppy. This was no mean feat, but they were evently matched. The spritly little animal lept on random patches of grass in the road, wagging her tails and yipping at sparrows.

[1]

[Freezair]

-MISSION OBJECTIVES-
-Do NOT Engage the ENEMY.
-Do NOT Engage MODEL XJ-737-052921.
-Escort THE PACKAGE through NABIAS.
-Do NOT throw a TEMPER TANTRUM and complain about how MODEL KM-110-532932 set UNREASONABLY HIGH STANDARDS.
-Rendezvous back at BASE by EIGHTEEN HUNDRED HOURS.

Cuddles kicked at the dirt in annoyance. She and Humbling Eldrich Overlord were a matched set, and it seemed that whenever H.E.O. was sent off on errands, she was sent to tag along too--like all falliable human beings, the Dashalls could not resist the urge to brag and show off the newfound weath that being "mini breeders" had brought them. H.E.O. teased her that the Dashalls simply couldn't stand to have her moping up the farmstead. Whenever he said that, she nipped at the fiberoptic fins at the base of his tail.

She, too, was programmed to explore and investigate, but apathy and animus came standard in her programming, and she so resisted the urge. She scowled at the perky little creature enjoying the sunshine.

[1]

[Freezair]

H.E.O. immitated the puppy, trying to entertain her. The little animal found nothing quite so entrancing. When she pawed at the base of a tree, cocking her head at a squirrel peering down at her from on high, H.E.O. copied her pose. It was accurate down to the droop of her ears. He stole her attention from the squirrel. Experimenting, she put her paws to the ground, tails to the air, and let her tongue hang out. H.E.O. did the same, excepting the tongue. He didn't need one.

Manufactured giggles escaped the voicebox in his throat.

[2]

[Freezair]

"You know what you look like? An idiot."

Cuddles put her flat, broad, marsupial foot down hard on H.E.O.'s wriggling tail. Cadpig gave her a curious glance.

[2]

[Freezair]

"Geez, sis." With a snap of the hips, H.E.O. broke his tail free from Cuddles. The motion startled her, but although she shook, she didn't fall.

"What's your damage, huh? Can't stand to see me having a little fun?" A hurt-looking Cadpig sidled up to H.E.O.'s thigh, her ears nearly flat against her skull.

Feeling sorry for her, H.E.O. lifted her into his arms.

[Freezair]

"My 'damage,' as you so eloquently put it, is that you are insufferable." Her paws went to her hips and her nose went to the air. "Don't you EVER run down? Or do you and your Invisible Spirit of Perkiness insist on embarrassing me in public?"

[3]

[Freezair]

"'Public?' Who the heck is 'public?'" Heo swept his head around, observing the medditerranian landscape. Stones, grass, trees, the sweet and pungent smell of olives crushed underfoot by the animals--aside from a small, doe-like animal dozing in the shade of one of those olive trees, all here was quiet.

"Good gravy, sis." H.E.O. gave Cadpig a reassuring scratch behind the ears and let her down. "You NEED to chillax. Seriously."

He walked forward, clearly wanting to leave the conversation where it lay.

[4]

[Freezair]

"I ought to mod you in your sleep," she muttered, but she followed complacently. She silently peeved herself by focusing her eyes on the happily-wagging tails of Cadpig. It practically offended her that the little beast could get to feel so happy.

[4]

[Freezair]

"Again, sis: Good. Gravy. Good red-eye gravy on a chicken-fried steak! I realize the differences in our programming, yes. You're the fighter, I'm the household helper. However, being a fighter 'bot doesn't mean you have to fight with EVERYONE all the TIME. I mean, look at Fluffy! He's even more of a war-'bot than you, and he can be civil."

Cadpig barked, as if to support him. Even if she didn't understand the intricacies of whomever "Fluffy" was.

[5]

[Freezair]

At the mention of Fluffy's name, Cuddles' eyes grew wide.

Before even H.E.O.'s microprocessor brain had time to comprehend it, he found himself being batted across the face. A pair of sharp, metallic claws left three light, feathered ridges in his dragon-skin exterior. He rubbed his useless nose and registered the presence of the torn polymer.

Cuddles sneered at him. "Don't mention that name around me."

[5]

[Freezair]

"Geez Lousie, sis! You are wacked! What the heck did F--he ever do to you?" The fact that he bothered to correct himself in mid-sentence showed how worried she made him.

Angry--or perhaps merely annoyed--Cadpig swatted at Cuddles' foot. She was lucky not to get kicked in the stomach.

[6]

[Freezair]

For Cuddles, the typical reaction in this situation might have been violence.

Instead, somehow, it was acquiecence.

If she'd had pockets, she would've stuck her hands into them. Instead, her paws fell limp by her side, and she looked off into the distance. Cadpig gave her a curious look. A tiny, trilling woof escaped her.

She walked down the pathway, twitching her tail to beckon H.E.O.

[6]

[Freezair]

H.E.O. shrugged. Who could properly understand the mental machinations--heh--of his sister? Even those who had designed them had built them for unpredictability.

Of course, in computing, there was no such thing as random. If one were to break down the myriads and myriads of algorithms building up their brains, and individually analyze the scenario and the computations being made in Cuddles' brain, someone sufficiently intelligent (perhaps another computer) could understand exactly what she felt, and how.

Or maybe they should throw the computers out the window and just take her to a good old-fashioned shrink. Either way, so long as it helped him understand her.

Cadpig bumbled into a bush and sent a few quails into a tizzy.

[7]

[Freezair]

The two robots walked in silence for some time. They said nothing to each other, leaving the sound to Cadpig and the organic world around them. Occasionally H.E.O. would quietly scold Cadpig, and Cuddles would "harrumph" privately. But little passed between them until they were much further down the road.

Oddly--or perhaps not at all oddly, given her personality--Cuddles was the first one to get annoyed with the silence. "It's too quiet," she acidly remarked.

[7]

[Freezair]

"I can play some music," HEO said personably.

He peeled a rubbery, plasticy panel away from his chest. He fiddled with something invisible from the back. He punched at his belly eagerly, and a soft, shivering female voice began emenated out into the countryside.

[8]