[Flame]

(Human Form)

Sometimes, it was amazing how the whole world could simply get up and move on, as if completely oblivious to the problems of others. Vega stared out of the tapcaf window, watching, but not really seeing, the people who walked by just beyond arms reach, completely engrossed in their own lives. Her elbow rested on the table, her chin propped up on her hand as she gazed out, gold eyes distant. A tiny object attached to a silver chain around her neck sparkled in the sunlight as it twirled between her fingers, throwing a delicate spray of red glitter on her hand and the clean, unblemished manila folder on the table, speckling it with bright specks of ruby. Next to it sat a comlink and a cup of caf that had barely been touched, both silent, the perfect image of indifference.

Vega had thought that there was nothing in the world that could surprise her…not after what she’d been through, all those years ago, but it seemed that she’d been well and truly proven wrong today. She still hadn’t gotten over the shock yet: she had the feeling that it would be a very long time before she came to terms with it...if she ever did. And to think, she’d come to believe that everything had gone back to normal, the way it had been…the way it was…they way it would always be. Yet, here she was, in the very last situation she’d ever have imagined herself possibly getting into. She was still wearing the ‘smart’ outfit that she’d had on this morning for her interview; a white blouse with black dress pants, her long dark hair pulled back into a ponytail that cascaded down her back. She could still remember that meeting, branded freshly into her memory with startling clarity. If she had known that what she was walking into would completely transform life as she knew it…

---

The room was spick-and-span, spotlessly clean. There were very few objects that broke the empty whiteness of the walls: a desk, with a few pieces of stationary and a neat stack of papers laid out on its glossy mahogany surface, a leather chair, a bookcase filled with large, ancient-looking tomes, and one wall covered in official-looking, brass-mounted plaques that all read the same name with variations on a common theme beneath. The room had an almost…surgical feel to it. Then again, that would make sense: she was in a hospital, after all.
”Ah yes, you must be Ms. Syrena Moraes. Please, do come in and take a seat.”
The chair swiveled around to reveal a stoic-looking man, probably in his mid-50s, dressed in a grey business suit and tie and wearing an amiable, if distant, smile. So, this was Dr. Windsor, the chief surgeon and head honcho here at the hospital. As for her, she was Syrena Moraes, a young nurse seeking a position at the institution. Like anyone with half a brain, she never used her real name. All they needed to know was the fact that she could work, and where to send her paycheck.

”Your resume was very impressive, very impressive indeed, Ms. Moraes.” He nodded sagaciously for emphasis, his demeanor grave, down-to-business. ”Your skills are definitely ones that we can put to good use here.” Here he paused, studying her for a moment, as if weighing her up. There was something in his gaze though, that told Vega that what he saw was not necessarily what he had been expecting to see…whatever that might have been. Nonetheless, he maintained an unperturbed demeanor, his expression still pleasant as he addressed her. ”There is one slight problem though…” He leafed through the papers on the desk in front of him, pulling one out and laying it on top of the pile as he perused it carefully. ”It appears that you did not indicate your pregnancy here on your application. I’m afraid we cannot hire you, as your condition may interfere with your ability to work.” Vega didn’t even hear the second half of his statement: her mind had frozen stock still at the single weighted word in his sentence. ”My what?” Certainly she must have heard him wrong. Of all things, there was no possible way that he’d meant what she thought she’d heard. But she could have sworn that she’d heard…

”Your pregnancy, miss.” There was a slight furrow in his brow as he regarded her with a judgmental gaze, the faintest hint of worry in his serene tone of voice. ”You were aware of the fact that you’re with child…right?” The uncertainty in his voice was evident. Vega only gaped at him in shock, her protesting mind still asserting that there was no possible, earthly way she could be, of all things, pregnant. How could there even be the slightest chance? It wasn’t as if…
Oh.
Suddenly, something in her mind clicked. She blinked, still shell-shocked as she stared at the doctor, trying to convince herself that this was a mistake, that it was all a bad joke. There was a long pause before she managed to kick her brain back into action and find her voice, although it didn’t seem to be functioning quite right. ”How…?”
”From what I can tell, you’re likely in the mid-to-late stage of your first trimester. Around two or three months.”
Her vocal cords suddenly kicked back in again. ”That couldn’t be possible,” she snapped, more of an attempt to convince herself of what she was saying than contradicting the doctor.
”Well, miss, in the past few months, have you…?”
”I get the idea, thanks.”
A pause.
”If you’d like, we could run a few tests, and…”

---

”Are you alright, miss?”
Vega snapped out of her trance, glancing over to see the tapcaf waitress standing at the next table over, wiping it down with a wet cloth, but whose eyes were fixed upon her. Was she alright, the woman asked? No. Far from it. She’d just found out that she was pregnant, for crying out loud. She wasn’t mothering material, there was no way that she could possibly raise children. She’d tried the whole ‘caring for others’ thing once before, and the lasting aftereffects that the consequences had left still bore their marks on her conscience.
But the waitress had asked her if she was alright, and she couldn’t leave her hanging…or tell her the truth. So, she fell back on the age-old phrase that simply asked her politely to ‘buzz off’.
”Yeah. I’m fine, thanks.”

The woman gave her a searching look, but it wasn’t her place to barge in on other peoples’ business, so she went about her way, leaving Vega alone once again with her thoughts. The young woman sighed lightly, glancing down at the folder and the silent comlink next to it. She’d agonized over her situation for a good few hours before she’d finally picked up the comlink and entered the code. It wasn’t one that she’d thought she’d be using…at least, not this soon. When Vidown had picked up, she’d simply told him that she needed to talk to him and had given him her location. Explanations would have to wait for later. Whether he protested or not, she wasn’t sure…she’d killed the link as soon as she’d given him her message: she didn’t think that she was ready to talk to him. Not yet.
Once again, her gaze wandered out onto the street, watching the stream of bodies flow by like an unstoppable current.  The dance of scarlet drops of light commenced once more as she rolled the bright crystal between her fingers, her eyes lost in the distance.

[MillietheWarrior]

Vidown pulled the hood up over his head, careful not to let anyone see his face. He’d learned a lesson from his last venture out into the public world; his hair had been dyed black, and he was wearing blue contacts. He’d even gone so far as to use a special pigmentation to make his skin several shades darker. Needless to say, he no longer looked like the man he truly was, but he wasn’t exactly comfortable with his new appearance. He liked being himself, not some stranger on the street. His light saber was hidden beneath his cloak, along with a small bag of coins and credits that he’d slowly been scraping together by taking different odd jobs here and there. Although he still considered himself a Jedi, very few others did, and he was seen as a criminal, not a peacekeeper.

It was a gut-wrenching thought for Vidown, who had spent his whole life as a Jedi and had trained to become a master since he was born. A few people paused to glance at him, as if they’d seen him somewhere before. He merely flashed them a broad smile, blue eyes lighting up. They all smiled back, oblivious to who he really was, and Vidown continued on his way. He was in another strange town, for no apparent reason other than the call he’d gotten from Vega. To be quite honest, he hadn’t expected to ever hear from her again. Vidown was used to it; he had been alone his entire life. He never expected anyone to want to stay with him, or speak to him, or even talk to him more than once. I

t was a lonely existence, but when your very presence could destroy someone’s life, you simply had to grin and bear it, and just keep going on alone as if nothing was wrong. Vidown was good at getting on with his life; he’d done it before. He looked down at his boots as he strode along the walkway to the small tapcaf Vega had told him to meet her at. He was lucky he was in a nearby town when she’d called; it had only taken him an hour or two to get here. Despite the stream of bodies that flowed past him, Vidown was well aware of where Vega was; he reached out in the Force, reassuring himself and her that they would meet soon.

Closing his eyes briefly, his body turned, as if on autopilot, and led him to the tapcaf. He stepped through the door, earning a few looks from the patrons who simply went back to their food as if they’d seen him a million times before. His eyes scanned over the crowd until he spotted a familiar face. He smiled lightly, striding over and sliding into the booth opposite her. He didn’t speak right away; in fact, he probably looked like a stranger to her in his black hoodie and dark blue jeans, a look he’d picked up form the locals in the nearby towns. “Afternoon…It’s been a while,” he said, tilting his head slowly.

He regarded her with bright blue eyes that were not his own, his gaze slowly drifted to the crystal in her fingers. His smile faded, and he frowned, before he let his eyes sweep back up to her face. “What’s wrong?” When she’d spoken to him on the com, her voice had sent a trill of panic racing through him, but he’d brushed it off as just his imagination. But seeing the look in Vega’s eyes was disturbing; something was definitely wrong.

[1/14]

[Flame]

This was the first time Vega could recall feeling totally and utterly helpless, knowing full well that the situation had taken on a life of its own (quite literally), and that there wasn’t anything she could do that would stop its progression. She glanced down at her midriff, and even though it was covered by a form-fitting shirt, she couldn’t make out any discernable bump that was the surefire mark of pregnancy. The whole situation felt almost surreal…as if she would wake up at any moment to find that the whole thing had just been a dream. After all, it wasn’t as if she looked any different or felt particularly…pregnant. Well, if she overlooked the occasional morning sickness, that was. Dr. Windsor had told her that in another month or two, she would begin to see more noticeable signs of her expectancy. Unfortunately, she’d pinched herself enough to sufficiently convince herself that there would be no escaping from this distorted reality, and that she was well and truly stuck with the dilemma at hand.

Suddenly, a dark-haired man with startlingly blue eyes and casual garb slid into the seat across from her, and Vega half-bristled instinctively, prepared to oust the stranger from her personal space. Something stopped her though: there was a certain familiarity to the strange face that she couldn’t quite place. There was a fraction of a second’s pause as she scrutinized him, then, like a lens sliding into focus, recognition dawned in her suspicious golden gaze and she relaxed slightly, although the lingering unease still hovered about her like a haze. Nonetheless, she managed a small smile for his benefit as she searched his features, her eyes penetrating as she weighed him in her mind. This was the first time she had seen him in at least two months, but the disguise aside, he didn’t seem to have changed much over that period of time.

Yes…indeed it had been a while. Interestingly enough, she hadn’t forgotten him over the past few months the way she usually did with the fleeting people she met in her life. Which was everyone. Generally, it was her mode of self-protection; if there were no memories, then there was no need for fear of loss. Vidown though, seemed to have left a determined mark on her mind, sort of like a stain that simply refused to be washed out, no matter how many times you tried to get rid of it. ”So, I see you haven’t forgotten me yet.” Yet. She sounded amused by the observation, but there was a subtle undercurrent in her voice that said otherwise. ”Oh, and incidentally, blue really isn’t your color. Brown would probably have been a little more convincing.” Her tone was mildly teasing as she made a conscious effort to remain light-hearted…a rather ambitious endeavor on her part, all things considered.

She could tell by now though, that Vidown had caught wind of the fact that something was amiss, even before he asked her about it. She saw his gaze drift down momentarily and her own followed to come to rest upon the sparkling red stone in her hand. It hadn’t left her neck since the day she had put it on: she was “safekeeping” it, just as promised, and being a necklace, as it was, the most obvious place to keep it safe was around her neck. So, she’d obliged and now she hardly even noticed that it was there, she’d grown so used to its presence. Now that Vidown was here though, she felt that it was about time it was returned to its rightful owner. Deftly, she unclasped the catch on the silver chain and let the crystal and fluid metal fall into her hand. Now that it was gone, she found that she could feel its absence acutely, but pushed the thought aside, gold eyes flicking back up to meet unnaturally blue ones as she offered the necklace back to him. ”I believe that this belongs to you. This time, try not to do anything with it that you'll come to regret later.”

Of course, this was not the reason why she’d summoned him here in the first place. So, what was wrong? As for that, she was still working up to the real reason why she’d asked to see him, apparently out of the blue. She glanced down at the folder still sitting so deceivingly innocently in front of her, thinking about its contents. Finally, she reached forward and picked it up tentatively, as if afraid that it would turn around and bite her. Still, it remained misleadingly passive. She hesitated, then opened it, revealing a few sheets of paper which resembled a patient chart and diagnosis, which they were. ”Seen these before?” she asked, concentrating on keeping her voice level, which was turning out to be harder than she’d expected.


{Sorreh...would have had the post up earlier, but someone stole my lappy for a few hours x3}

[MillietheWarrior]

Vidown studied Vega intently, the blue eyes that weren’t his scrutinizing carefully. He looked over her face, her eyes, her mouth her nose. Everything. For a moment, it seemed as though he was trying to accustom himself to her after so long apart. He could almost taste her anxiety, the nervousness that lay just beneath the surface. He was relatively well attuned to her feelings; for goodness sake, he should be. He was the man who had practically ruined her life in that other town; practically made her a criminal by association.

He took in the fact that she was dressed relatively business-like for such a casual meeting, and frowned. Something was definitely wrong; if her anxiety and nervousness weren’t clear indicators of that, then the look on her face was proof enough. “Of course I haven’t forgotten you.” He reached one dark hand across the table and settled it on her own, once more falling back into that easy rhythm of being close to her and invading her personal space; he didn’t seem to care if it made her flinch or if it was uncomfortable for her. It was just natural for him.

He smiled easily, the same placid, calm smile he always seemed to wear, and his eyes crinkled slightly with laugh lines. “I’ll try to remember that next time. I’m trying a bunch of different looks to see which I like better. Last week, I was blonde with black eyes. I wasn’t so crazy about the combo though. So I switched it up a bit.” He grinned, his hand sliding back across the table as he leaned back slightly in his seat. Vega’s eyes had followed his own gaze down to the necklace, and Vidown frowned when she pulled it form her neck, the chain pooling around the small gem in her hand like silver water. He didn’t hold his hand out for it, though, and instead, reached out to close her fingers back over it.

“Keep it,” he said with a small smile. “As a gift. It looks much better on you than on me anyways. Besides, I don’t need it anymore.” His hands fell away from hers, settling comfortably as he folded them in front of him. His eyes fell to the manila envelope she was holding, and his smile instantly faded. What was wron? Did she have some sort of terminal disease? Oh Force, Vidown hoped not. He didn’t know if he could stand hearing that. He leaned forward in his seat, eyes concerned as they rested on hers, then quickly glanced down to the charts and papers she held in her hand.

“Yes,” he said slowly. “Aren’t they from a hospital? Vega…” His voice lowered slightly; he didn’t want to draw any curious gazes. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is everything all right? Just tell me if you need anything; I’ll do whatever I can.” It might not have been an obligation, but Vidown felt it was his duty. Something deep inside of him told him this would change his life forever.

[2/15]

[Flame]

Vega was getting constantly edgier by the minute as she tried to muster the right words to tell Vidown the news, and she had no doubt that he could sense her growing anxiety. None of this was supposed to have happened, and she knew that he would be in for the same shock which she’d suffered when she’d had the news so unceremoniously dumped on her. Needless to say, she didn’t get the job, but the doctor had been kind enough to run all of the tests at no expense to her. Now though, she was left with nothing but herself, what little she had, and her pregnancy. What she owned was enough to sustain herself, but certainly not for an expecting mother. The phrase alone made her cringe.

The sudden, unexpected sensation of his hand on hers made her start, a knee-jerk reaction, though more out of surprise than anything else. During the past few months in his absence, she’d reverted somewhat, to her old, withdrawn self. Old habits die hard, but nonetheless, she allowed the contact, acclimating herself once again to the fact that he was perfectly comfortable, and inclined, to invade her personal space. Had it been any other person, she likely would have given them the excuse to have her kicked off the planet. Vidown though, seemed to have immunity from her anger, at least for the time being. If anything, she felt almost as if she welcomed the touch: it might be somewhat discomforting to her, but at the same time, it kept her grounded in this chaos of confusion and frustration that currently swirled through her mind.

She was somewhat surprised when he refused the necklace, folding her fingers back over the little red gem. She studied his features intently, trying to read some sort of emotion or reaction in his expression. When he’d given it to her, she’d known that the simple piece of jewelry had held some profound meaning to him, and it puzzled her somewhat that he was suddenly so willing to let go of it. She didn’t have the chance to dwell on it though, as Vidown’s attention had finally been caught by the single, most essential reason why she’d asked him to meet her here. Her gaze fell to the official-looking documents in her hand, not really seeing them. She had already read them enough times that the image of the forms seemed to be burned into her memory, written in the doctor’s elegant scrawl. She had the feeling that this was a pivotal point that would decide her existence for the next few years…if not the rest of her life.

Vidown’s barrage of questions were sincerely concerned, but she knew that nothing could prepare him for what he was about to find out. She felt rather overwhelmed, as if the weight of the world was pressing down on her shoulders alone. The knowledge which she held rankled at her mind, eating her from the inside out, and she felt as if she kept it to herself any longer, it would ultimately destroy her. There was a pause as she opened her mouth, as if to speak, but nothing came out. She simply couldn’t find the words to say. After a moment, she shook her head lightly, placing the open folder on the table and pushing it towards Vidown, an invitation for him to read the papers contained within. Her gaze lifted to his face, golden eyes troubled, as she waited for him to take in the news. She subconsciously fingered the crystal in her hands, fingers running over its smooth, faceted surface, reflecting her growing disquiet.

[MillietheWarrior]

Vidown was watching Vega steadily, confused as to why she continued to be on edge. Whatever she’d called him here to tell him must have been weighing heavily on her mind. He glanced down as she slid the paper towards him. He had expected her to say something, to tell him herself, but apparently, she was unable to find the words. He saw her mouth moving as if she wanted to tell him, but she seemed at a loss. Vidown cast her a concerned look, and then pulled the papers towards him. The delicate, scrawling handwriting of what could only have been a doctor was somewhat difficult to make out. His eyes scanned over the documents, soaking in the information with a slowly dawning realization.

After a few minutes, his face drained completely of color, and slowly he lifted blue eyes that were not his own up to meet Vega’s cool, golden gaze. “What?”[/b] he breathed, his voice no more than a strangled whisper. Gone was the placid calm that seemed to swirl around him, drowned in a tumultuous pool of confusion, nervousness and absolute, utter surprise. It took a few moments for it to really sink in, but when it did, Vidown opened his mouth to say something more, then shut it with a snap. His brain seemed to have stopped working, and he just stared at her for a few moments. This wasn’t happening; it couldn’t be true. Life wouldn’t be this cruel to people like them, would it?

[b] “Ah…I see…” He did; this was why she’d called him here. If the children she was carrying had belonged to anyone else, she wouldn’t have bothered to tell him any of this. Vidown closed his eyes, reaching out with the Force to fully ascertain Vega’s status; yes, she was most certainly pregnant. It was too early to tell with how many or the genders, but he could feel the life force flowing inside of her, consciences that were not her own. “This is why you called me here,” he said softly, his eyes opened to refocus on her.

“Vega…I am so sorry…I’ve ruined your life…twice now…” He didn’t know what to say; what could make this better? “If…If there’s anything you need…I’ve got some money saved up, and I can…I can help.” He fell silent, almost at a loss, before he placed his hand over hers once more. “You don’t have to be alone anymore if you don’t want to be…I'm here.”

[3/16]

[Flame]

Vega’s eyes remained fixed on Vidown’s face as she waited for him to finish reading, her mood apprehensive. So, why had she insisted that he come here to be given the news? Could she not have simply told him over the comlink and have this done with? She told herself it was because this was the right thing to do; that if she were in his place, she’d want to be told in person as well. But a small voice whispered slyly at the back of her mind: could it be because she’d wanted an excuse to see him again? Had she been afraid that he would simply take off when he heard the news? She shook herself mentally at the mutinous thoughts. That couldn’t be possible, since she’d been finished with attachments long, long ago. At least, that’s what she told herself.

His expression spoke volumes as the reality of the situation dawned on him. Vega felt strangely relieved, knowing that her secret was no longer hers alone. The weight on her shoulders was a little lighter…just a little, but for once, she was glad for the company. Nonetheless, it still didn’t make her condition any better, and despite her attempts to throttle it down, the underlying current of distress still threatened to overwhelm what control she had left over her emotions. It had only taken a day to overturn the practiced apathy which she’d harbored for the past few years of her life, and now, as sensation flooded back into her like a cascade, she felt as if she were on the brink of a system overload, and the predominant threat: Fear.

It seemed Vidown was taking the news much better than she had, as even now, she could feel her own trepidation resurfacing. How could she possibly handle being a mother? The painful memories of what had happened to all of those she had once loved, what felt like an eternity ago, rose to the surface once more, a haze of loss, anger, grief, and betrayal. How could he understand what she’d been through, the fact that she physically couldn’t live through that same experience again? As she locked gazes with him, her eyes were desperate, almost pleading, as if he might somehow have the solution to a hopeless situation. ”I can’t do this, Vidown,” she finally said, finding her voice again. She was visibly agitated, despite her attempts to keep her disquiet under control. ”I had nothing in the world to fear, but now, I have everything to lose. I couldn’t live through that kind of loss a second time…it would destroy me.” She seemed almost frantic, as if all the agony that she’d held bottled up inside was finally escaping its bonds. When Vidown’s hand slid over hers, instead of ignoring it, she responded, her fingers curling over his as she held on to it, as if it were a lifeline. Her voice had dropped to a nearly inaudible whisper, her eyes penetrating as they searched his. ”I’m afraid.”

[MillietheWarrior]

Vidown merely glanced back down at the papers in his other hand. He could practically feel the emotions rolling off of Vega in waves; his heart sunk when he felt her fear and anxiety. Was she afraid he’d just leave her? Was she afraid he’d just walk out on her? Vidown closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep, calming breath. He tapped into that deep well of calm that settled in the pit of his stomach, and when he opened his eyes, Vega was clutching tightly to his hand. His gaze flickered from her grip, to her face, and her fear was tangible. He didn’t have to be a Force-user to sense it.

“You can, Vega,” he murmured softly. He leaned across the table; he couldn’t imagine anyone not wanting something as precious as this. To give and to create life was an amazing and wonderful thing; there was nothing like it on earth. To think that they had created new lives together; these two most unlikely of people had created something unfathomable and precious. Vidown held onto that thought for a brief moment, focusing on sending Vega a gentle, soothing feel through the Force, wanting her to know how amazing such a thing truly was. He lifted his gaze to watch her steadily, tilting his head to the side only a fraction of an inch.

“You can’t lose this, Vega. Not if you hold on to it.” He closed his eyes, dropping the papers and setting his other hand over hers. “Grab it, and hold onto it with both hands. That’s what this is all about. Don’t you see how amazing and miraculous something like this is? There is life growing inside of you, Vega. Life. You have done something that someone like I could never hope to achieve; you have created life.”

He opened his eyes, smiling softly. Vidown was surprised at how badly she was taking this; but then,. She didn’t see the miracle that was life. She didn’t understand it as he did. “You don’t have to be afraid. You have me. I promise, no matter what, I won’t let anything happen to you…And you won’t ever be alone…if you don’t want to be.”

[4/17]

[Flame]

Fear was a lot like an insatiable beast: regardless of how much of her emotion she fed to fuel it, it never seemed sated. It wasn’t that Vega’s fear was ungrounded though…she’d lived through everything ranging from betrayal to abandonment, so it wasn’t surprising that she would fear being put through that whole ordeal all over again. Her hands shook slightly as she fought to suppress her distress, her eyes still fixed on Vidown’s.

She felt the touch of a consciousness that was not her own in her mind, but unlike a physical touch, she could not escape it. Somehow though, she managed to recognize it as Vidown’s influence (it had to be a Jedi thing), and after fighting the intrusion for a moment, she finally relented, allowing the feeling to penetrate her thoughts. The soothing serenity washed over her like a gentle rain…but how could one absorb it when their emotions were already saturated with anxiety? Nonetheless, her disquiet stilled slightly at his intangible assurance. She wanted to trust him, to believe that every word he said was true, but old scars left deep marks, ones that were not so easily overlooked.

Yes, she wouldn’t argue with him on the point that the creation of life, in and of itself, was nothing short of a miracle, but it wasn’t that she was afraid of…it was the loss of life that struck terror in her very core. Vidown might have meant everything that he said, but still, unforeseen things, accidents, still happened and people changed. They’d all said the same things as well, but where were they all now? They were either dead or gone, or she was dead to them. No one stuck around for long. Her hand and her eyes clung to Vidown, as if afraid that if she blinked, he would vanish before her very eyes. ”It’s not me that I’m worried about…it’s everyone else.” She felt torn, between the person that she once was and the person that she wanted to be, for herself, for Vidown…for the child or the children. ”I don’t want to be alone, but it’s the only thing I know and remember…What if I’m not strong enough to hold on?” As if in response, she clutched his hand tighter, almost afraid to let go.

[MillietheWarrior]

Vidown’s brow creased slightly as he watched Vega; despite his assurance, she was still so very afraid. Vidown wasn’t exactly sure what he could say to make her see how miraculous this was, and to understand that there was nothing to be afraid of. One hand idly stroked her own, and he found himself staring into golden eyes with blue ones that did not belong to him. “Vega,” he said sadly. “Being alone is a choice. Nothing is forcing you to choose it. I know there are probably things about you I don’t understand or know, but whatever happened in the past is over and done now. Forget about it.”

He was such a hypocrite; how could he hope to ask her to forget her past, when he himself couldn’t forget his own. Vidown had a feeling the things that had hurt her before he came along were a lot similar to his own experiences. How ironic; one messed up person helping another. It seems they were destined to find one another. It was fate. And Vidown wasn’t about to argue with destiny; if he was supposed to stay with her, and help her, and show her that the world wasn’t as dark a place as she’d come to view it as, then he was just fine with that. As odd as it was, Vidown was comfortable with spending the rest of his life with this woman, even if it was only as a good friend and father to her child.

He didn’t know what she wanted from him, but she only had to ask, and he would give it; he would do anything for her, he realized. And it wasn’t just because he felt responsible for all this. There was something deeper at work here, something Vidown almost didn’t want to acknowledge. He pushed it to the back of his mind for later analysis; he’d figure this all out on his own, when he didn’t have to worry her with his own self-doubt and confusion. Right now, he needed to reassure Vega; he needed to maintain that unflappable calm he was so used to having.

She needed to know everything would be all right. “Your only as strong as you believe you are, Vega. And I believe your stronger than you could ever imagine.” He squeezed her hand gently, reassuringly. “What do you need now, Vega? I’ll do anything you ask of me, do anything for you, get you whatever you need. What is it you want? What can I do to help you now?”

[5/18]

[Flame]

For a moment, Vega was once again amazed by how…unconcerned the rest of the world seemed to be to her quiet predicament. The people out on the street continued to walk by, hardly glancing through the window at the unlikely pair, and the patrons in the tapcaf continued their carefree conversations like they’d had any other day of their average lives. It seemed that no one else noticed the private exchange going on, save for perhaps the waitress that had inquired about Vega’s well-being earlier. She seemed to be discreetly avoiding their table, giving them the space they needed.

Vega blinked, seeming mildly surprised when Vidown brought up the subject of her past. Well, if that didn’t sound familiar: if she wasn’t mistaken, what he’d said to her was, in essence, what she’d told him the first time that they’d met. Who knew she’d be hearing her own advice given back to her? Her gaze was searching as she studied his face, subconsciously aware of the fact that he was stroking her hand. Maybe…just maybe he was right. Was it about time that she finally let go of what had happened so long ago? It was as if she stood at a crossroads between two paths, ones that would dictate how she would live the rest of her life. Did she want to continue living in the shadow of her past, dictated by the pain she chose to suffer, or was there more for her than she chose to see? It was as if Vidown had opened her eyes to the alternative which she never knew that she had, and now, it was simply a matter of making the choice. Her words were slow, weighed down with the significance of the decision she was making. ”My past is something that I could never forget…” There was a thoughtful pause as she glanced down for a moment at her ensnared hand, then back to Vidown. ”But forgive, perhaps.”

So, what was it that she wanted? It was a good question, and Vega stopped to think upon it for a moment. She wanted to be certain about the future, she wanted to know that her child would be safe, she wanted all of this fear and uncertainty to go away…but right now, there was only one thing that she wanted more than all of those. ”I want to know what’s on your mind.” She needed to know what he was really thinking, whether he really wanted to be here, or if he was simply filling what he felt to be an obligation. He was the kind of person who would give his life to set a wrong right, but Vega didn’t want to be the chains that shackled him here. Right now, all she needed was his honesty, whatever his thoughts might be.

[MillietheWarrior]

To say Vidown had been expecting her to ask that, of all things, would have been pushing it. As it was, he simply stared at her, mouth moving silently as if trying to form the words to articulate his thoughts. He snapped his mouth shut with an audible click, teeth grinding together for a moment as he appeared thoughtful, gaze drifting down to rest on their joined hands, before flickering back up to Vega’s eyes. He could sense her need to know what he was thinking; she was clinging to him like a lifeline, and it suddenly made Vidown feel very important. He wished she could cling to someone who was more worthy than he was, but he was here, and he wasn’t about to leave her for any reason in the world…unless she asked him to.

He briefly shut his eyes, taking a deep, calming breath. He seemed to be listening to a sound only he could hear, and when he opened his eyes once more, he seemed to have sorted out his thoughts. “To be completely honest…I’m shocked and surprised. I never imagined something like this would happen to someone like me. Mostly because…well, things like this happen to good, decent people. Not criminals on the run from the law.” He fell silent briefly, before speaking again.

“And I am surprised you called me here, but not upset. Despite this being a very odd occurrence to me, I am glad it happened. Perhaps it is a second chance for two damned people to redeem themselves…Or at least, I hope that’s what it is. I’ll be honest with you, Vega. I’ve never had much luck with things like this. I loved a woman once a long time ago, but she’s gone now…Because of me. I don’t know if you want me to stick around, because frankly, I think I’m just bad luck. But I’m willing to stay for as long as you want and need me; I do…care about you. I really do. And I would never leave you to do this alone.”

He took a long, drawn out breath. “I know you probably think I feel obligated to stay. And in a way, I do. But there’s more to it than that. I’m not staying because I’m obligated, I’m staying because I want to. These children are as much mines as they are yours. Besides-” he cracked a wry smile, eyes glowing brightly. “I didn’t have much of a life on my own anyways. At least now, I can start over…”

[6/19]

[Flame]

Vega waited until Vidown had finished speaking, all the while remaining completely silent as her gaze remained riveted on his features. When he fell silent, she nodded slowly in response, seeming satisfied that he’d been completely truthful with her. ”Well, I don’t think you’ll have to worry much about that. My whole life has been a continuous chain of bad luck, so really, how bad could it be?” She shrugged indifferently, but in reality, she didn’t really want to consider the answers she could possibly think up for that question. ”I think you may have been the first good thing that’s happened to me in a long, long time.”

Vega paused to reflect on the thought: it was strange, how the world worked. She’d only met this man once before today, and yet look at where she stood now; she felt as if she’d known him much longer than that, and although some of the wariness that was hardwired into her still remained, she felt almost as if she could confide fully in him. Plus, she was carrying his children, after all. As for trust, she knew that she could depend on him: full, unconditional trust would come with time alone.

If any emotion took the forefront now, it was, of all things, relief. Vega couldn’t yet fully let go of all her insecurities, but the feeling of having respite, of not having to be alone any more, was liberating. For a moment though, she felt a twinge of guilt, thinking back on what had passed. Was she entitled to being free from her pain, or was she somehow being unfaithful to the ones she had once loved? Was she wrong to seek happiness, to put the past behind her? She shook herself mentally. If they’d truly cared about her, then she was sure that they would not have wanted her to suffer and grieve them for as long as she had. Suddenly, her spirit felt considerably lighter, upon acknowledging that fact. ”I think that we both could use a fresh beginning,” she said with a small answering smile, squeezing Vidown’s hand lightly as she glanced up at him. ”Plus, you are a good person. At least in my eyes.”

[MillietheWarrior]

Vidown couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped past his lips. He shook his head, looking vaguely amused. “Maybe with two bad luck charms working together, we’ll be able to conjure up some good luck for once, hm?” he said with a small smile, head resting on his fist as he propped it up on the table. Vidown was already going through the multitude of professions he could safely engage in without drawing any attention to himself. Office work or anything involving civilian life would be off-limits; how could he hope to get a good job with a criminal record? There were only a few choices left to him; bounty hunting, smuggling or being a spice runner for some slum-lord.

The last option sounded horrible, and being a smuggler didn’t sound pleasant either. He imagined bounty hunting would be the easiest option, albeit an unpleasant one. Vidown would have to go about finding a way to keep his own identity a secret while hunting other occupants of the Republic’s ‘most wanted’ lists. He had a few ideas already; if he could get into contact with a former associate of his, then getting into the business would be fairly easy. Vidown’s eyes flickered back to Vega as he felt the acute shift in her emotions flow over him; he realized he’d become rather attuned to her changes in mood, and it was odd for him.

He normally didn’t pay anyone any mind, yet here he was, actually subconsciously reaching out to her in the Force to see what was wrong. He patted her hand gently, smiling in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. He closed his eyes briefly, trying to focus on the growing life inside of her, and found he could sense three small consciousnesses, flickering with a warm, contented life. Vidown’s smile grew; those were his children. This was his family. He was surprised this wasn’t more frightening for him, but Vidown knew that, deep down, he’d always wanted a normal life. This was as normal as it was going to get for him and Vega, though, because after this, things would get a little hectic. “Thanks. For what it’s worth, I think the same thing about you. I’m sure we’ll weather this storm as best as we can; trial and error. We’ll figure something out.”

[7/20]

[Flame]

{Time jump :3}

At this rate, she was never going to get the smell of wet paint out of her hair. That was the thought going through Vega’s head as she stepped back to observe the little room before her with a critical eye. This room was the culprit for the stray thought: after all, no other progress could begin before all of the plain walls had first been painted, in this case, a soft, soothing shade of cream. She had to give it credit though, the calming color did ease her exasperation a little, despite the fact that it had been the cause in the first place. Vega was currently standing in what was to become the ‘baby room’, the only extra room that they had in the apartment. When she had Vidown had chosen the small flat, they’d done so with their future family in mind, a concept which both excited and terrified the new mother. It wasn’t much to look at, just big enough to accommodate the two of them with extra space for the babies (Vega had been just a little thunderstruck when she discovered that she was carting around three children), but no more. It was cozy though, and to her surprise, she’d found that she’d settled in pretty quickly, and the little residence had not only become a house, but a home.

Now, a little over three months after she’d gotten the heart-stopping news that she was pregnant, she was definitely beginning to feel the weight of the burden. Literally. One hand rested lightly on the bulge which swelled from her abdomen as she surveyed her handiwork, golden eyes drifting over the whole area within the room as she studied the current layout. Today, she was arranging the furniture, and as a token to her increasing vexation, the crib, along with everything else, had already been moved at least ten times within the last few hours. Last week, she’d repainted the walls from their original dull shade of off-white, and even now, the pungent smell of wet paint still lingered throughout the apartment. Redecorating and preparing the baby room for its soon-to-come occupants had become Vega’s project, not merely because she’d wanted it to be ready for the arrival of the babies, but also simply because it was the only thing keeping her sane during the length of her pregnancy. She’d been bored out of her mind: Vidown had insisted that she stay at home during the day while he was at work for her well-being and those of the children. She’d protested at first, not wanting him to have to cover the whole family’s expenses on his own, but after being weathered down, had relented to his coaxing. Complying with his wishes, she stayed in the house most of the day, reading all the mothering books, occasionally venturing out only to do the groceries and run small errands. By this point though, she’d read all the books cover-to-cover, and the groceries only had to be done a few times a week. So, after a few days of utter boredom, she’d finally resorted to completely remodeling the baby room. It was between that and learning how to knit: she might be pregnant and unbearably bored, but she wasn’t that desperate yet.

Vega glanced at the clock on the wall nearby: it was starting to get late, but Vidown hadn’t gotten home yet. She assumed he was finishing up business at the office, although she found it a little worrisome that he hadn’t called about the delay. She halted the thought in its tracks, trying to shake off the growing anxiety which had overridden her previous irritation. Vidown could take care of himself – after all, he was a Jedi. With a soft sigh, she went back to inspecting her handiwork, dragging her thoughts back to a more mundane subject.