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[Quest] I Should've Just Gone to Bed [Self; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 09/23/2016 9:38 PM

Image

Narcyz had always made fun of people on television shows who, on the anniversary of some bad breakup or tragic event, got piss drunk on whatever alcohol they could pump into their bodies. It just seemed like one of the stupidest things to do, when you're already sad, to impair your sense of judgement even further. But the people on television always seemed to pass out and fall asleep with tears on their face and curses mumbling under their breath, rather than go outside and get in their car and hurt themselves.

Narcyz wasn't exactly that level of stupid. But he had gotten drunk, though certainly not that drunk. And he was stumbling down the sidewalk at an unsteady gait, streetlights making his head hurt something fierce.

It couldn't possibly have been a year, that very day, since he'd fucked up. Had be been a fluid ounce more sober, Narcyz would've questioned why he remembered it. But he had. And here he was, thinking of how if he was some schmuck on TV, he'd laugh at himself if he were a few years younger, and how Wesley would've smiled sympathetically and said he'd be pretty upset if something like that happened to him, too.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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zapdragon555
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Re: [Quest] I Should've Just Gone to Bed [Self; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 09/23/2016 9:46 PM

Narcyz caught himself on a lamppost, feeling his stomach churn uncomfortably. The last thing he needed was to get sick in the middle of the sidewalk, even if no one was really around in that area. He'd already wandered a few blocks away from campus, knowing he'd be dead if security caught him walking around drunk, no matter how much he'd try to explain that it was a special occasion. Or something like that.

His eyes flicked from the ground up to the blurred signs over doorways of shops and cafes and office buildings. He swallowed, thinking food was the last thing he wanted to put in his stomach, but it would probably make him feel a little less empty. He groaned softly, knowing he had no money on him, but he probably had something left on his credit card, which he vaguely remembered leaving in his hastily-thrown-on jacket pocket.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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zapdragon555
Will Draw For Food
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Joined: 02/24/2009 11:10 PM
Location: "I mean... for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn't paid for it...
Status: I love you, and... and you don't pay me."

Re: [Quest] I Should've Just Gone to Bed [Self; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 09/23/2016 9:53 PM

Ramen it was, then. Narcyz moved his legs in the direction of the little hole-in-the-wall ramen shop, fishing into his pocket sluggishly. The bell that rang above him as he entered the door startled him enough to make him drop his card, and he grumbled a curse under his breath as he bent down to try to get it. Depth perception was a little bit hard in his current state, though. A waitress eyed him nervously as he retrieved it, then hurriedly walked back into the back where the cooks were.

Narcyz leaned against the wall, waiting to be seated, and looked hopeful as a man approached him with the same waitress in tow--the latter of which pointed at him discreetly and nodded. The man's brows furrowed, looking imposing as he put his fists on his hips. "We don't serve drunks here. You can come back when you've sobered up," he said firmly, and Narcyz arched an eyebrow, mouth twisting into a frown.

"But I have money," he protested slowly, holding up his card. "Or... well... kind of. I can pay. It's not like I just wandered into... in here." He seemed confused in the first place what the two were so worked up about. In reality, Narcyz looked like a mess--blond hair disheveled as hell, tattered black jacket half hanging off of him... maybe they thought he was a hobo. Narcyz's brain just wasn't putting two and two together.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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User avatar
zapdragon555
Will Draw For Food
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Keystones: 485
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Joined: 02/24/2009 11:10 PM
Location: "I mean... for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn't paid for it...
Status: I love you, and... and you don't pay me."

Re: [Quest] I Should've Just Gone to Bed [Self; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 09/23/2016 9:58 PM

"Go home, or somewhere other than here," the manager continued, clearly not willing to listen to Narcyz's half-formed explanation.

"And watch out for cars," the waitress piped from behind the manager, looking terribly nervous about Narcyz's drunken state. It was obvious she was a college girl, and Narcyz might've recognized her if he weren't so out of it. She quickly made her escape, walking over to a table when someone raised their hand for her. Narcyz's eyes flicked away from the manager to follow her... and they landed on a face that made his mouth go numb with a hollow, aching feeling.
Image

Narcyz watched the two speak back and forth, only hearing the words 'drunk' and 'leaving soon' exchanged. He must've stared too long, because the manager's large hand was pushing on his chest suddenly, moving him backwards. "Sir, if you don't leave now, I'll have to remove you myself. And if you fight me, I'll have to call the police. Understand?"

"Wha?" Narcyz mumbled, tearing his eyes away from the person sitting at the table just a few yards away to the manager's reddish face. He stared, then looked back at the person, and met their eyes. His eyes. Soft brown eyes in a pained, but stony expression. "Okay... okay. Sorry. Okay," Narcyz breathed, rubbing his head with a hand to try to push out the hurricane currently brewing in it. "I'm going. Sorry."



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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User avatar
zapdragon555
Will Draw For Food
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Joined: 02/24/2009 11:10 PM
Location: "I mean... for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn't paid for it...
Status: I love you, and... and you don't pay me."

Re: [Quest] I Should've Just Gone to Bed [Self; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 09/23/2016 10:05 PM

Narcyz exited the shop feeling like a sack of bricks had been laid gently on his shoulders, with another couple of tons of lead strapped to his legs. This was the last thing he needed tonight. Hell, he'd take getting sick over this. He'd take throwing up on the ramen shop manager's uniform over this. He couldn't help but think that some god was punishing him, and decided to pick this particular day to do it, just for that added 'fuck you' factor.

Narcyz had a sudden premonition that he was going to faint, and so he quickly sat down on the curb, or at least as quickly as he could manage. He stared at his worn sneakers, the autumn air cutting through his measly jacket easily. He should go. They'd call the police anyway for loitering, if he kept this up. Narcyz was just about to work up the gumption to get up and leave, when the bell on the shop door tingled, and Narcyz twisted around to look up at Wesley's face.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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User avatar
zapdragon555
Will Draw For Food
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Keystones: 485
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Joined: 02/24/2009 11:10 PM
Location: "I mean... for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn't paid for it...
Status: I love you, and... and you don't pay me."

Re: [Quest] I Should've Just Gone to Bed [Self; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 09/23/2016 10:20 PM

Wesley was holding a to-go tub of ramen in one hand with plasticware wedged between his fingers, and a serious look on his face. Narcyz didn't know whether to smile or get up and walk away, but his body seemed to eventually settle on sighing. Wesley seemed to take the action the wrong way, because he stiffened up and cast his eyes to the ground. "You don't owe me for this," he said softly, tense, walking closer and holding out the ramen. Narcyz blinked owlishly at him, then slowly reached out to take it, nearly dropping it but catching it with a nervous kind of laugh. "I mean it," Wesley snapped, which shut Narcyz up rather quickly.

"Okay," Narcyz mumbled, opening the lid to the ramen and breathing in the warm smell. "You don't owe me. I won't try to repay you. That right?"

"Yeah." Wesley stayed where he was, and Narcyz stared at the noodles, then began to eat them. There was a tense silence for a few moments, before Wesley hesitantly sat down next to him on the curb, like a bird alighting on a wire that could take off any moment. It was for this reason that Narcyz didn't dare look at him, or acknowledge him--he just kept eating, because his stomach was crying for food now, and nothing had tasted this good in awhile.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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User avatar
zapdragon555
Will Draw For Food
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Keystones: 485
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Joined: 02/24/2009 11:10 PM
Location: "I mean... for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn't paid for it...
Status: I love you, and... and you don't pay me."

Re: [Quest] I Should've Just Gone to Bed [Self; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 09/23/2016 10:26 PM

Wesley's eyes stayed trained on the broken traffic light above them, blinking yellow as it had done for the past few hours. Surely someone would fix it, soon, but it wasn't really needed, this street. It was just two-way, with no intersections for awhile, so the light was pretty useless anyway. Wesley was about to comment on it, but bit down on his words and folded his arms over his knees, licking his lips and taking a breath to speak. "How... are you?" he asked slowly, making an effort to sound genial enough.

Narcyz blinked, mouth full, and swallowed, glancing over at Wesley. Narcyz seemed like he was analyzing the question, turning it over and over in his hazy brain in case there was some hidden meaning behind it, and he offered a lopsided smile. "Shitty, tonight. But pretty alright, right now." That felt like the right thing to say, and Wesley gave a dry, monosyllabic laugh in response.

"And the other times?" Wesley asked, the tone in his voice less forcibly cheerful and more soft, more muted. Narcyz felt his chest ache, the smile on his face faltering. That was Wesley's voice. That was his Wesley's voice, not this one who was trying to smile and trying not to scream and cry and punch Narcyz in the face like Narcyz knew he deserved. In reality... Narcyz felt disgusted that he even thought of the words 'his Wesley.' It had been a year since they'd become strangers--there was no more 'his.'



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


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User avatar
zapdragon555
Will Draw For Food
Will Draw For Food
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Keystones: 485
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Joined: 02/24/2009 11:10 PM
Location: "I mean... for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn't paid for it...
Status: I love you, and... and you don't pay me."

Re: [Quest] I Should've Just Gone to Bed [Self; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 09/23/2016 10:32 PM

"The other times... just trying my best, I guess," Narcyz said vaguely, because he didn't really know. It had been a blur, the past year. He'd drank, he'd danced, he'd fucked until his heart didn't hurt anymore. His grades had slipped so far at one point that his professors had emailed him asking if he was alright, and of course he wasn't, but he'd ignored them anyway. Things were better, now. Narcyz was trying. He was trying to move on, to find new relationships that he wouldn't mess up, and he felt like he was doing fine, except for the fact that they all failed. Never in the way that he'd hurt Wesley--but things that just didn't work out. People who said they would call after the first night together, and never did. "Lonely," the word tumbled out of Narcyz's mouth before he could stop it, and he couldn't take it back.

"Good. I'm glad," Wesley said softly, but it sounded like it hurt him to say it. Like he was trying to hurt Narcyz, but couldn't bring himself to put any real fire behind it.

"How's astronomy?" Narcyz countered, changing the subject as easily as he could. Wesley's mouth had flattened into a thin line, his brown eyes dark in the shadowy street as he stared out at nothing ahead of them.

"Gave it up."

"Oh."



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


Pen | New Pen | Breed | Wish | Sales | Art | Imp. | Add-ons

User avatar
zapdragon555
Will Draw For Food
Will Draw For Food
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Keystones: 485
Donate
Joined: 02/24/2009 11:10 PM
Location: "I mean... for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn't paid for it...
Status: I love you, and... and you don't pay me."

Re: [Quest] I Should've Just Gone to Bed [Self; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 09/23/2016 10:36 PM

Wesley hummed in response, letting his expression soften just a little bit. "I'm an art major, now," he began, a bit less flat than before. "Studio art. It... it's nice. It's helping, I think."

"With the depression?" Narcyz asked softly, the food helping with his alcohol problem, but it still made his ability to dance around sensitive subjects a little impaired.

"With a lot of things," Wesley murmured. "A lot of things. One of my professors is really old. She's a grandmother... I like her. We talk a lot." The simple conversation, lacking any fabricated venom, soothed over Narcyz's aching chest and put him at some level of ease.

"That's good," he answered, nodding his head slowly. "I'm glad." Wesley shot him a look, and Narcyz blinked, realizing he'd completely parroted Wesley's previous jab, but with entirely different intentions. "I mean..." Wesley turned away again and shook his head, a defensive look in his eyes that he was making an effort to quell.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


Pen | New Pen | Breed | Wish | Sales | Art | Imp. | Add-ons

User avatar
zapdragon555
Will Draw For Food
Will Draw For Food
Pets | Items
Keystones: 485
Donate
Joined: 02/24/2009 11:10 PM
Location: "I mean... for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn't paid for it...
Status: I love you, and... and you don't pay me."

Re: [Quest] I Should've Just Gone to Bed [Self; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 09/23/2016 10:46 PM

"Why are you drunk?" Wesley asked, not looking at him, and clearly not intent on returning the personal questions back to Narcyz. Somehow, that hurt Narcyz enough to drag his smile into a frown, looking at the almost-empty ramen cup in his hands.

"I'm still in theatre," he began, anger at the situation pushing words out of his mouth. "It's great. It's helping." Narcyz froze, eyes flickering with guilt, and he slowly raised them to stare at Wesley--but Wesley's eyes were on the traffic light again. "I'm sorry."

Wesley just shrugged, and stood up, hands going to his pockets. Narcyz's eyes flashed in panic, a panic he couldn't quite explain, but he was reaching out to grab Wesley's wrist before the other could move away. Wesley's eyes blazed, his hand jerking away and whipping around to grab Narcyz's wrist with such a tight grip that Narcyz yelped. Wesley let go immediately, his expression fearful and pallid, mirroring Narcyz's guilt for a split second before he turned away sharply. "I'll ask again, because I care, and I don't know why I do. Why are you drunk, Narcyz?"



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


Pen | New Pen | Breed | Wish | Sales | Art | Imp. | Add-ons

User avatar
zapdragon555
Will Draw For Food
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Keystones: 485
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Joined: 02/24/2009 11:10 PM
Location: "I mean... for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn't paid for it...
Status: I love you, and... and you don't pay me."

Re: [Quest] I Should've Just Gone to Bed [Self; L]

Postby zapdragon555 » 09/23/2016 10:59 PM

When Wesley said his name, Narcyz felt something in him crumble. "Because today is the day I hurt you a year ago, and I fucking hate myself for it," he said, mentally begging Wesley to turn around, so that he could see how his words affected the other. Narcyz felt like a manipulative piece of shit, and he needed to see if Wesley could scrape together an ounce of sympathy for him, despite owing him none.

"You shouldn't hate yourself," Wesley said softly, careful to keep emotion out of his voice, but he refused to face Narcyz. "You should just think about it. And make sure you don't do it to anyone else." Narcyz winced at how clinical and rational Wesley sounded, when Narcyz felt like his chest was caving in.

"No one else loves me like you did," Narcyz said carelessly, and Wesley scoffed--or it sounded like a scoff to Narcyz. Wesley was silent, then took a shaky breath and turned to stare at Narcyz, his brown eyes damp and his mouth twisted into something that was trying not to cry.

"I'm sorry. But I can't be near you." Wesley turned again, and began to walk, hands returning to the safety of his pockets. Narcyz watched him go, wishing more than anything that that phrase hadn't been Wesley's goodbye.



But there will come a time
You'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair



"Tomorrow will be a good day."


Pen | New Pen | Breed | Wish | Sales | Art | Imp. | Add-ons

User avatar
zapdragon555
Will Draw For Food
Will Draw For Food
Pets | Items
Keystones: 485
Donate
Joined: 02/24/2009 11:10 PM
Location: "I mean... for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn't paid for it...
Status: I love you, and... and you don't pay me."


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