[Sarah]

(Continuation of this)
(Tagging language, alcohol usage, self-destructive behavior, and briefly mentioned rape/abuse)

“You’re the one woman,” his voice went from raised to a low steadiness. “You’re the one person in all the world that I do not want to fear me. The one person that doesn’t have to,” He said. He walked towards you as he talked but he wasn’t menacing. He was enigmatic, intoxicating, exciting. You let him push you down the hall and when the tops of your legs ran into the end table below the window he advanced until his body was pressed flush to yours.

[Sarah]

“I don’t-” you were whispering, staring at his chest. He took your chin in his fingers and tilted your head back so your eyes could meet. “It's… Complicated. And I don’t know how to tell you that I fear,” you sighed, “everything,” dramatic, “this isn’t the world I was raised in. This isn’t the world I know. Knew. I don’t know anything, but my body does.” You were rambling, but it seemed he was listening. “I feel the connection. The desire. I feel it. But it's nothing compared to waking up in a strange bed in a strange city with, apparently, strange languages on my tongue,” you said. There was a profound look of understanding in his eyes. Oh yeah. Were you the worst person in the world?

[Sarah]

In his distraction at your realization you placed a hand on his chest and separated yourself from him. “Wow. I am the worst,” you murmured. You rubbed a hand over your face wearily. “They’re right to test me. I am the worst.”

“Wait,” Tommy reached for you and you let him pull you back to him. He was searching your face, trying to understand you. Trying to understand what was going through your mind. You weren’t supposed to know. No one had told you and you couldn’t even pretend there was a time when you’d been told. An inference. How far would he buy it?

[Sarah]

“We’re strangers. Give yourself some time to settle. Let us help you settle,” he said. He was right of course. You had nowhere else to go. This was home whether you were happy about it or not. But he knew. He knew what he was asking you better than you knew what he was asking you.

He moved away from you to open a door. You looked around him curiously. Was this your room? He let you inside but stayed in the doorway himself. Considerate of him. “Should you need anything I’m across the hall,” he said. You nodded, shifting awkwardly. Thomas stood in the doorway a heartbeat longer before turning to go to his room. It was across the hall.

[Sarah]

You closed the door to your room softly and slumped onto the bed. Another sleepless night was ahead. The room was nothing special, although the room you’d had before was hardly anything to remark on. You ruffled through your drawers and found everything in place almost exactly as you’d left it before. Interesting. There was no attached bath, or bath at all. That was unfortunate, but you imagined Polly would tell you where you could bathe. If worse came to worse, you could always sneak into your last place.

[Sarah]

Having properly snooped around your own space you sat on your bed once more. You took off your skirt and whatever thing was jabbing into your side. There was something wool. A quilt. It was quaint. It made you feel intensely out of place. You couldn’t pace. You couldn’t make noise. You couldn’t leave. You lied back on your bed and waited. Eventually the sky turned grey and you knew it wouldn’t be totally looked down upon if you were up. There was a moment where you fumbled with clothes and your hair and some hygiene items you didn’t immediately understand.

[Sarah]

When you were presentable you left your room as silently as you could and descended the stairs. No one was in the kitchen but there was a low fire. A person you assumed was a maid eyed you before returning to her own tasks. You hesitated in the kitchen a moment. Leaving wouldn’t be interpreted well, but you didn’t know when working hours were and you wanted to be seen by at least one Shelby before you headed out.

[Sarah]

Thankfully they did not leave you waiting long. Unfortunately, it was Thomas. He was dressed, impeccable, and he looked… He looked at you. You scowled, not totally on purpose, and took a seat at the table. “Something wrong?” he mused.

“No,” you said, and it was even true.

“You didn’t sleep a wink last night, did you?” Polly asked, she’d snuck down the stairs without you noticing until she was passing Thomas.

“No,” you said. Thomas was shaking his head. Oh, she was asking him. Accusing eyes focused on you. Oh, things were your fault now.

[Sarah]

“When was the last time you slept?” Polly asked, sitting across from you at the table and taking tea from the maid.

“Three days ago?” A guess. “I’ve slept here and there, but not for more than a few hours at a time,” you said. You’d been in this place for three days now, hadn’t you?

Polly made a noise – something between a sigh and a scoff. “Do you know how to take care of yourself at all?” she asked.

[Sarah]

Before you came to this place you had no issues. You’d had no insomnia and no will to starve. “It’s been a stressful few days,” you said. It was the only thing you could think to say that wasn’t crazy rambling.

“Eat something,” Polly said, gesturing to the food the maid had plated. She stood and gathered her coat. “Make sure she eats something,” she told Tommy firmly. He opened his mouth as if to protest but closed it and nodded. There was a moment where you thought he might leave as soon as Polly had, but once the door closed behind her he sat down where she’d been.

[Sarah]

“I think I’ve given the wrong impression,” you mused quietly. You’d been staring at your hands but you eyes flicked up to meet his for a heartbeat. Angry blood-thirsty butterflies rolled through your stomach. The desire to say nothing and run for the hills made your brain struggle to come up with any elaboration.

You cleared your throat, but Tommy was the first to say anything. “Ada told me we were soulmates,” he said. Your head snapped up and you stared at him in confusion. “She can see when people are soulmates. She…” he paused, “and our mother,” he finished. You got the impression his mother was dead.

[Sarah]

“So, you had absolutely no reason to do what you did to me in the bar?” you accused.

“I didn’t think you’d pass out!” he defended. You narrowed your eyes at him, and he went on, “I had to make sure you weren’t a threat.”

Your face scrunched in displeasure and returned to studying your hands. “I’m not from the nineteen twenties, and I’m not from Britain, and soulmates aren’t real,” you said firmly. Holding back information about yourself was a nonissue when you knew they’d be more likely put a bullet in your brain than send you to an asylum.

[Sarah]

“I know,” he said. His hands reached across the table to grasp yours. You refused to meet his eyes. Instead you added his hands to your study. “I know it’s a lot, but you said you could feel the bond and I’m right here. That’s enough,” he said. A cold stone settled in your gut. Grace. Stupid that she’d come to mind now.

You raised your head slowly to look at him. For a moment you just shook your head and bit your lips together. Then you tilted your head. “Is it?” you asked.

[Sarah]

His hands squeezed yours for a heartbeat. “I know Pol told you how important soulmates are to this family. They’re important to this society. It doesn’t matter where you came from – only that you’re here,” he said. Tears welled in your eyes. Damn him. He sounded so fucking sure.

“I feel stupid,” you admitted bitterly. You watched him struggle to hide his wry smile from showing. He either thought you were stupid and was agreeing or what you’d said piqued his amusement because he disagreed. You couldn’t tell. “What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked.

[Sarah]

“Eat your breakfast,” he said, releasing your hands. He stood and straightened his suit. Your hand wrapped around a spoon and your eyes wandered over his body. Oops. The look on his face when your eyes finally met. You flushed at being caught and quickly turned your attention back to the food before you.

“When will I see you again?” you asked. You heard him stop in the doorway.

“Tonight. Tomorrow morning at the latest,” he said. Then he was gone. Eating last night had helped some but you were still very hungry. Harry hadn’t said when he wanted you in, yet again, so you took your time in eating.