[ToxicShadow]

Strages

Change of plans. They never kept anything on schedule, so what could one expect out of them? Instead, someone came up with their own plans. For once. What, he did planning? Never. Actually, yea. Seemed that way. It came to Strages telling Aaron just to go get ready quickly, they were going somewhere in ten minutes. He didn't exactly leave any room or time for argument. His only explanation was the classic 'It's a surprise.'

Before long, here they were, Strages' home sweet other home. That may have been very true, that he practically lived at work, but it was one of the best places he could, personally, think of to go. It was never the same, but it was always a welcoming place. Something rare in his life.

Excitedly, he had practically pulled his love from the car when they stopped in the empty parking lot. Not without care. He couldn't bare the thought of bringing harm to him. Dear gods, how he hoped things went well. That neither of them would suddenly fall ill, as was their usually luck. Couldn't lady luck be nice to them just this once? Or was she jealous maybe? Ha.
Before getting pulled along by their entwined hands, Aaron would have been lucky enough to take in a little of the monstrous sized building in which they were about to enter. Pretty much it size, and the fact that it certainly didn't look like any of the other ordinary buildings of this time. It was more...antique, best described in that most simple of fashion. An old theater it appeared, but had been secretly very much reinforced so that it would crumble to the ground.

A click of a key, and they were inside the double doors.  
It was only then when the older male decided to slow down. Much like last time when he was feeling pleasurable, his tails were wavering back and forth. Ridiculous, he looked sort of like a puppy with them acting up like that. Stupid things.

But the scene only got exciting once they got past the main entrance and past another set of doors, where it opened up to a much red and golden themed theater. Rows, and rows and rows of seating on different levels. The balconies for special guests. The grand stage covered by three sets of curtains, a slightly different design. It was a little odd that the lights were on but, aside from them, it appeared to be empty. The one who preformed here on a regular basis knew better then to think they were the only ones in the building. However, it was close enough. His partner and his partner's newfound love, if they were here, would be staying down in the hidden rooms below the theater itself. Just as good as alone, in this huge place.

"Not a traditional date, love, but..what do you think?"

[Rainbowfox Ari]

Aaron was completely speechless. His eyes roved the stage in sheer awe, and he took in the entire space in the same fashion. Stepped out quietly into the aisle, he looked down at the stage, and a grin slowly spread across his face. He leaped into Strages' arms, and hugged him tightly, kissing him quickly, and laughing.

"Gods, Strages! This is amazing! This is where you work!? How I envy you right now!"

He turned away, but kept his hand clutched to Strages', still in complete and utter shock - the good kind - about where he was, and what happened here. It was the most perfect place for a date he could think of. But the stage wasn't exactly lit up - he couldn't tell what was on it. The curtains in front of it also sort of helped to hide whatever was on stage.

"Strages... are you guys doing a play right now? Is there some sort of set behind those curtains?"

He looked back at his lover for an answer, and curled his fingers closer around Strages' hand. Oh, but he was curious! This was the first time he'd ever been even close to a real theatre.

[ToxicShadow]

Even came close? Now Aaron was right inside one. One of the few that were known to permanently exist.

"Rarely are we ever not. Only five of us truly are permanent. However, we're always busy." Heck. The only reason no one was here now was probably because both he and Aros had to take off for awhile. He because of Aaron, and Aros because of his recent birth, recovery, and raising of his three children. [Strages was no longer the odd man out, being the only one with kids, which he was personally quite thankful for.] That left their leader and his lover to go about their antics of being a couple, and Riddler and Kezarec to practice and prepare on their own elsewhere.

Now what the stage currently was, the actor wasn't sure. They changed it often enough that it became quite the surprise if you weren't the one going around and making the changes.

"Why don't we find out?" He suggested with a grin.
This male just couldn't help it. Seeing his lover so enthusiastic was a grand pleasure, like a weight that normally burdened his heart had been lifted. Hardly had he ever thought their relationship a....fun one, if you understand what he meant by that. They were often plagued by difficulties, they had yet to ever have time to be carefree. They'd literally never been on anything one could come close to calling a date. A new experience. He wanted to make Aaron happy.

"Go on and lead. Not often one gets to see behind the scenes."

[Rainbowfox Ari]

Excited, almost giddy, Aaron started to tug Strages to the stage. However, before he got too much further, he turned around, and kissed him, hard. It was a thank you, as well as a gesture of love. Then, without any more hesitation, he started toward the stage again, curiosity shining in his eyes, and a grin on his face. Down the aisle he fairly ran, hand still in Strages', and he reached the stage in record time. With the curtains drawn shut, there was still some room for him to stand there, and he looked straight up at the curtains for a moment before turning around, and gazing out into the audience. It was almost intoxicating, being up here.

"Wow... This is awesome... I mean, with people in the seats, it must be ten times better. It's like... well... it's almost like a drug, isn't it?"

He moved stage-center, careful not to fall into the seats, in a half-daze. This was so much better than anything else Strages had shown him. Well, that he remembered anyway. He still had problems with his memory - and those were probably never going to go away. He'd re-learned his children's names, though. He couldn't remember what else had happened for a short term before the fever hit.

"I'd imagine so..." he continued, not really waiting for an answer. "I mean, you've got the crowd out there, intent on looking at you, and watching you. You've got the pressure to succeed, and the drive to even be on the stage in the first place. It must be like the best drug in the world."

[ToxicShadow]

That was certainly one option for looking at it...

Strages had allowed himself to be pulled about without arguing at all, cheerfully accepting warm gestures when they were given to him. He didn't particularly pursue going after Aaron for kisses because he was obviously caught up in other things. Afraid to ruin any of the excitement or scenery... Yes, he'd left his lover have his fun without much interrupting him.

A drug? Er, not for him. He may have been the actor out of the two, but that didn't necessarily mean that Strages was enthralled by everything that it was. His drugs were...far different. One more...illegal and gruesome then the other, without a doubt. In truth, why had he become one of the preforming arts? He hardly had any other choice. It was plainly seen that he didn't fit within society, not even just the outcast of it. His life...was a whole different level, because that was how he made it, and that was what it was meant to be like. But he wasn't about to mess things up by saying that a lot of his reason for being here was because of his unstable mentality. Reason why so few manged the place? It was only open to those in common with one another. None of them were mentally stable, in one way or another. The one that appeared perfectly sane was considered just as insane for working so closely with those who were far from.

"I don't focus on the audience, most of the time. We stick to our own world on the stage." Focusing and worrying about the eyes watching you made things complicated, really. "And sorry, love, my drug is far better then these acts on stage." As if to clarify, he finally moved to press his lips onto Aaron's. "For you see...I have you."

[Rainbowfox Ari]

Aaron returned the kiss in all the gentle passion it was given with. There was not much that would freeze the boy in his tracks - Strages was one of those things. Time froze around him while his lips were pressed to Strages'. His skin grew cold then hot again as the pleasure washed over him. He wrapped his arms around his love, and cuddled close.

"That's about the sweetest thing I've heard in years, Jes..." he murmured, nuzzling his head into the other's chest. "I know you mean it, too. I can tell."

He laughed a bit, and looked up at him once more, before just setting his head against Strages' chest again, and listening to his heart beating. It was something he still liked to do.

"You're my drug, too, love. The best drug in the world. Better than anything else."

His arms grew tighter around him, and he shook a little with the emotion of his next statement.

"Sometimes... sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you. Sometimes it feels like I'm stopping you, getting in your way. I don't know why, but this... it scares me, Jes."

And it did. To feel like he was a burden to the one he loved? It was sheer torture. Always, always he made sure to stay as close as possible to Jes. But was it too close? Would the other tell him if it was?

[ToxicShadow]

It was a non illegal drug this time. Too bad. It should have been. It was potent enough. Aaron had been enough of a reason for Strages to try, though he sometimes failed, to step away from his old addiction. Blood and killing. Couldn't escape it always and forever, but he could make attempts to avoid it when possible. Ridding himself of it completely was impossible.

It was second nature for him to hold his love close to him. Never needed to think about any more. So he did.

Only at the last statement did he pull back at all, and that was just so he could clearly look as his chosen lover. And, while the other didn't know it, Strages had certainly made many other decisions about them. They weren't about to change either. Heart and mind hand come to an agreement, for once in his life.
He lifted Aaron's chin up, forcing their eyes to meet. His own expression was firm fixed, but gentle, loving. More like he'd placed his feelings plainly out on a platter for this one to see. Never before had he, so clearly, but now...

"You needn't worry, my love. More accurate statement: you've given me a reason for living. Without you, is something I can no longer bare to stand."

Before, time before they'd crossed paths, he didn't particularly want to belong to anyone. He didn't want to hand himself to anyone. It was a weakness, that was how he'd seen it then. He'd changed that perspective now. Why live without something to live for?

"No qualms toward your presence, as long as it suits you too."

That was the only thing; he didn't want to force Aaron into anything either. They were alike, in that. Worried of being too forceful toward each other. - This was clearly painted out as well.

[Rainbowfox Ari]

Aaron fell silent at the confession, then just curled into Strages' arms, and closed his eyes, standing there completely unashamed. He heard Jes' heart beating - heard his own. And there was something he noticed, just now. Their hearts were beating in sync. When he figured this out, he pulled back, and looked up at his lover, eyes sparkling.

"Our hearts, Strages..." he almost-whispered. "They're the same."

With this realization, he happily cuddled back into his lover's chest. His breathing was quiet, and his own heart was going the same speed as Strages'. It was like being in love for the first time. And really - this was their first, REAL, date. And so far, it was absolute heaven. Aaron spoke while he was still curled into Strages.

"Did you ever think that there was someone meant for you, Jes? I mean - before you met me. I didn't. All I knew was that my life was one screwed up mess. I thought there was no one out there who would care for me. Then..."

He looked up, into his lover's eyes.

"Then you came along. I only barely remember the first time we met, though... Can you tell me what happened? I mean - explain what happened up until you gave birth to Liam and his siblings? I'm sorry love... I really don't remember..."

He looked as though he were about to cry.

"But I want to... I want to know."

[ToxicShadow]

He'd take that as a yes, it perfectly suited Aaron that they remained alongside one another.

His ears became erect at the comment. That could very well be one of the greatest surprises in his life, because of how unlikely such a thing was. Hearts changing beat was a shock enough, but what was more was that if their heart beats were in tune with each other's, then that meant that Aaron's heart wasn't acting up for once- a wonderful thing.
All things just then considered, it wasn't possible for him to help himself. Strages forced his lover back just a bit in order to duck his head down and lay his ear to his chest. The rhythm filled his sensitive ear. Matched with his own. He could hear and feel them together.

After his satisfaction on that matter, he was back to holding his lover quite close. It was almost like he was afraid that he'd loose him at any moment. Throughout their complicated relationship, they had always been ripped apart and reality had never been very nice. What time they had before was often plagued with illness and near death experiences. He had more then enough of that then he'd need in a life time. Too bad fate wasn't nice. There was no way that he could allow himself to not be wary constantly.

"No. No reason ever to believe I would.' None at all really. He could pretend. He could possibly say he was more fond of someone then many others, but that wasn't the same as this now. "He who hates the world wouldn't seem to be made for love, would he?" True statement.

A physical twinge. Without a moment to waist, many of the unpleasant memories tried to force their way into the central attention of his mind. He didn't want to explain it all back. He didn't even want to think of a good lot of it. He hadn't. He'd shoved the worst of them aside, not being able to afford to dwell on any of them.

With a more playful ruffle of Aaron's hair and a half-smile, he had expressed that it shouldn't be worried about. It wasn't as if it was his fault that he'd fell under a case of amnesia No crying. No reason to.

"We should sit." Easier to explain that way, then standing. It was often more comfortable. And so, he did. He was content to settle onto the  polished wood of the stage floor. Still in the dark, as it were, since neither had ventured to find a light switch. They were among a set, and yet many of the details about it couldn't be made out. No attention was given to the surroundings anyway.

"None of it was very pretty. You asked, however, I will tell. Perhaps you can somewhat comprehend that." There was a need to be careful on what was said, how it was worded... "You were wandering about and I was bored. Blood lusting as I was, I'd made the decision to kill you. Practically bleeding to death, your heart gave in. Before I could finish you, you fell into the arms of your attacker. No a very wise on your part, hand I not been under some control." He had to add that. "All for challenges, I came to the urge of wanting to see it possible for a killer to keep a life instead of taking it. Hence, took care of you at home. How we spent our first time together." A short pause. "Before I knew myself at all. Concept of love non existent, though you'd claimed such for me. You have several scars, all thanks to me." From that barrage of blades that day, from the times he sunk his claws into his back and all such incidents. The Lucain would be able to point every last one that laid fault on him.

There was a shameful feeling as to what physical damage he has done to his lover, now that they'd come to terms of being such. A sickly feeling, when he had to see what he'd done. Already, he was feeling regretful and uneasy, rather clear with the drooped ears and the expression on his face. He longed to hold his chosen and not to let go, but it felt so wrong to him, mentally reliving much of what had happened until now.

Was it feasible to say every last event right now? Didn't seem so, but there was no other choice. Before...before any final decisions, all needed to be laid out.

[Rainbowfox Ari]

Aaron listened attentively, and the curled up with his head in Strages' lap. If the other thought that the truth would frighten him, he was sorely mistaken. After all, cuddling is rarely something you do with a person you are afraid of. And he gave voice to this soon afterward.

"Strages... I know it may seem hard to believe in light of what you just said... but I'm not afraid of you. HAD you wanted to hurt me, you would have done so by now. And I love you. I really, honestly, truly love you. And nothing you say is going to change that."

He was quiet after that, taking it all in, waiting to hear more. His hands played lazily with the fabric of his lover's pants. He had an urge to ask Strages to listen to his heart - but there was no stethoscope nearby that he could see, and what was going on was a little more important than satisfying his fetish. With the desire still nagging in the back of his mind, he rolled onto his back to smile up at his lover.

"Go on - unless you don't want to. You don't have to tell me. I won't make you."

[ToxicShadow]

It hadn't been that he was fearful of scaring Aaron, he was more worried about reliving what had happened. Not about normal fear, but fear of being in pain, emotional and or otherwise. Strages was decent at pretending, forcing himself not to see a lot of things clearly if he didn't want to come into realization of them. When he spoke of everything, there was no denying it any longer. For one, with what he'd just told, he gained the thought that he really still wasn't proper for any of this sort of thing. Blood. Blood. He wanted it still, such a lovely thing it was. It took him all he had not to go for his lover's blood. It tasted so good. Memory served him well. If he happened to loose it, fully, anyone in the vicinity was at risk- didn't matter who.

"My will and my actions aren't always the same." He stated bluntly. Never was the full voice used here, for fear of being too loud. Words came in half-whispers. More then that and it would echo throughout the otherwise silent building. "I cannot deny I still lust for blood. Especially your blood. Delicious, have you know. Deprivation worsens the situation." Truth again. Being taken from the drug that had supported you throughout your entire life, it was inevitable that you'd go through horrendous withdrawals.

None the less, he hunched over to lick at the other's throat and kiss his forehead, able to pull back naturally. Any more then that could draw them into other actions. Especially if the one of them already wanted his fetish to be fulfilled.

He shook his head. "No. You need to know what memories have been taken from you, rather or not they are pleasant. - Shortly after we met, you had been shipped off to war. Letters exchanged, when able. Got you out temporarily the only way we were able. You gave birth to Zaak, Atros, Adze and Intre some time after our initial meeting within that 'breeding' room - having stayed with me during the pregnancy. Thought death was upon you nearly every moment. Gave birth, and soon shipped back. Raised the kids on my own. Zaak had problems from the start, has undergone several surgeries. Nearly died as a child." - Remembrance back to that day, when he tapped into the abilities usually devoid of him. Thank all the gods it didn't fail that day. - "Atros and Intre...are demonic, without doubt. Learned it the hard way. They destroyed much of this theater, though it's been repaired. Used each other to survive...A surprise. Before then, Zaak and Intre were the team. Used to defend one another. As adults, it switched. When...Zaak was murdered on a visit to you. Had brought lover along, Canvas. Just luck I'd been there too, got into it with that Fellox then his Mekkayena friend." He licked his lips. Habit of remembering their blood. He could identify the each of them by such, even to this day. "Nearly tore Canvas to shreds when he tried to intervene. Would have, had you not shown yourself and stopped me. Nearly killed you, too, that day, though seemed not. Adze grew up being the most clam and less problematic. Claims to hate everyone now, yet responds to me more then anyone." A quick coverage and explanation of one traumatic event, and a little of what it had done to the family. Now, of course, Intrepidus was divided and quietly making preparations to become a full demon. Dead. She wanted to kill everyone.

There was a pause, where he took in a breath. Another moment of allowance for this dose of words to sink in. Time to say things. He'd avoided giving much detail. More given, the harder it could potentially be.

[Rainbowfox Ari]

Aaron's eyes closed, as he started imagining everything that happened. Even though he didn't know Zaak at all, the news of his death caused a few tears to trickle down his face. He wasn't sure why he was crying, but he was. After a few moments, though, he wiped those tears away, and leaned into Strages. He had to. Needed the support. Even though he was in his lap, he had to get closer. Leaning. Which put his head right up against his lovers' stomach. He didn't need to say anything. Didn't WANT to say anything. He had to take this all in. But he had to know - had to know what had been taken from him. His memories. Everything. No matter how much it hurt. No matter how much he didn't understand why things had happened... He had to know. Strages was his anchor right now, and he couldn't have asked for a better one. There was little to nothing that Aaron had to say to the second portion of his lost story - but he knew that there was more, and he prompted Strages to give it to him.

"Go on, love..." he murmured quietly.

He turned his head so that he could look up at his lover while he spoke. Not on his back anymore, but on his side in a comfortable position. With nothing else to do today, he could devote all his time to this lesson he was receiving. A lesson about a life that he no longer remembered.

[ToxicShadow]

"From what I understand, Zaak had been the one out of the four to exchange letters with you while you were away." So, while Aaron didn't remember him now, he supposed that that son of their's had been the closest to him.

Strages proceeded to say that when the tears had welled up. His mind may have forgotten things, but that didn't mean that the heart had. That was why the body naturally reacted at the news, and the Lucain having to explain it all was aware of this. It would only make sense, after all. By getting the reaction, he felt the need to explain why it was probably happening. Instinct had him pulling his love even closer, which then meant he almost had his back fully propped against his chest, arms protectively wound around him.

He took in a deep breath for the next part, since this was completely something that Aaron had never been told. Strages had meant to tell him for a time now, he'd just lacked the nerve to do it. The detail here would bring sense to the next situation within the family regarding their children's lives. At least to the event he was about to explain.

"There is one thing I have not told you. Something not in your memories even before. You'll need to know. You'd been somewhat aware of my possibility of ending up romantically with my childhood friend, Nitidus. That you knew, to an extent... Innerly, he was having a hell of a time trying to say things right. "Between the time you were taken back to war and the time we met again and the other three were born...It was decided that Niti was a member of our family. My mother, my brother and my lifeforces are strung together. My body holds all the connections." Which was why there were three matching scars ringing his neck. "She'd kept our secret her entire life, she kept Ente and I from completely ruining ourselves. Kept me from becoming a complete monster. She was to be bound. We had to tie our lifeforces, she and I. Yet...It had been done in a place I rather it not... You and I have seven children, though a total of twelve have my blood. I have five other children...with Niti." He spoke, his ears back against his head. He couldn't help it when he paused.

"After...we...fulfilled our business in that room, I'd become aware of in the one beside our room. Atros was there. So was Canvas, practically our son in law, lover of Zaak. Atros was dying. In that room. Found that another male was crushing Canvas into the floor. Saw red. That male nearly killed Canvas, and Atros. Raped Atros on top of it all. I killed that male in that very room, Niti using her power to sustain Atros' life while I was tied up. He would have died, had she not sacrificed her own self to keep him alive. He has two children now, Curio and Luxor, from what I know. I refused to give up the children, despite it being a rape case. Also refused to allow support from the rest of the family." Where was that so of theirs?

"It all earned me five more children, another added to my manslaughter record, two grandchildren, and...definite realization: I only wanted you. Had to learn that the hard way."

[Rainbowfox Ari]

The younger Lucain took in all in, silently. Tears trickled down his face, and he didn't know why he was crying. Jealousy... no. He wasn't jealous. He'd prefer Strages to be happy. No matter what that meant. If it meant that he had spent the night with Niti - so be it. He knew without a doubt that there was nothing that could come between he and his lover right now - especially not a woman. This time, he didn't bid him to go on. He knew there was more, but he also knew that Strages would get to it in good time.
His hand inched up, and grasped one of 'Jes' softly. Squeezing a little. As much a support as being supported. This had to be hard for his lover, and he knew that. Didn't know why, but he could recognize the body language that told just how much this was costing. If he could have, he would have taken it all away from Jes in a single fell swoop. But that wouldn't be so.
Aaron was neither able, nor entirely sure he could if he was, to take away the older Lucain's pain, or erase HIS memories. Hell. He wished that Strages didn't have to explain all of this. And a part of him felt bad for making him do so. But he had asked, and he did need to know.
So many children... And he couldn't remember any of them. Only names. Only faces. Not personalities or accomplishments. And one of his sons raped? Where was HE? He was supposed to protect the ones he loved, wasn't he? A few more tears leaked out. He did love them, he realized. All of them.
Even Adze. Aaron was starting to remember him. Cold. Unfeeling. Aaron knew the boy hated him. How he knew it? He wasn't sure. But it had flowed from him like waves over the ocean. What had he done to be so hated? What had he done to tear his family apart like this? Gods preserve him, he was a horrible father...
That realization hit hard, and a few more tears trickled down - this time, he meant them. Such a horrible father... But he had to hear the rest. And he looked up at Strages, expectantly.

[ToxicShadow]

Not doing very good at taking it, he was forced to stop his explicating. To anyone else, it would fail to seem natural that any of this was taking affect on Stages. Not exactly the sort to give into such things, he often played off the indifferent part. Even when his son was killed before his eyes, it didn't appear as though it had bothered him. Like it was nothing more then a simple trigger for his bloody ways. Zaak had died, and it affected Aaron then. It, on top of everything else, was doing it again. The older one of the two didn't have the freedom to dwell on any of what had happened. He couldn't risk it. The situation made him a single father. He had other children to worry about caring for. If he had broken down, there wouldn't have been any support anywhere.
He had to close his eyes for a short while, which was when his lover's hand slipped around his. No way could he be alone either. From the looks of things, they needed each other, and there was no denying that. Such an alien idea, when all the words going around were causing grief to the both of them. Because of the need for things to be remembered, the one that did recalled had to repeat it all, harming himself in doing so, and having the other being harmed for having to realize it again for what was, to him, the first time.

With everything as overwhelming as it was becoming, he was making the effort to trudge on...when... The older Lucain's body jolted. It very nearly spazzed. "What the Hell!?" He said, alarmed. Louder then anything else he'd spoken during their visit here. One of his arms loosened from around Aaron and dug into his other arm instead. The claws easily breaking into the flesh. What the Hell was wrong with him!?! He could feel it! His heart, beating out of normal rhythm. It...hurt. It was strange, a foreign concept to him.

Ears erected, tails lashing, arm bleeding him his own inflicted pain, the man was suddenly confused and irritated. He was about to push his beloved up off him him and dig further at his own flesh. And he did. Careful as he was to do it, he still forced the other up into a sitting position, off of his lap. Without any explanation, he was glaring down, at his own chest and started to quite literally claw at it. Altered mentally wasn't allowing his full sense break through. No realization was held yet as to what was happening. Which was bad. If he didn't stop soon, surely he would damage himself enough that he'd fall to the risk of bleeding to death. He'd already shredded his shirt above his heart and got to the skin, and that was a matter of seconds.