[SpringsSong]

"Both Ken and Ti were right when they said that you always have part of me with you now," Loq said, smiling as he placed a spectral hand on her face. Maybe it was because it was a dream, but she could feel warmth in his touch.

"We'll be leaving for Ilum tomorrow to retrieve your crystal and totem," Xyshari said. "Those remnants of you deserve to be kept by a Gatekeeper who remembers her charge."

"I couldn't even stand there for a full minute when I went there last. It was so different from how I remembered... and there was something darker. But it didn't feel like it was as strong as it had been."

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[SpringsSong]

"That would be me and Ti, again," Xyshari said. "You know how there was that spirit there that... evaluated whether or not I was worthy of being a trainee?"

"I remember. You took your time emptying yourself of all your burdens before you entered the cave," he said. "What of her?"

"She petitioned me and Ti to cleanse the tower, and taught us Force Light so that we could," she said. "Unfortunately, two guards approached and we had to leave in a hurry, so we never finished our task. It was also the day we struck our names from the walls and took our own totems and crystals back."

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[SpringsSong]

"I thought I had sensed your presences there the next time I went to visit to remember those who had fallen," Loq said. "And I noticed your names had been struck. I assumed the gatekeeper at the time had done it..."

"No. We did it of our own volition, and with our lightsabers - nothing so primitive as a chisel and hammer like I heard they were doing. I'll not say from who I heard that," she said, holding up a hand as he moved to ask his question.

"No fun, you know that?" he teased.

"There are some secrets I agreed to keep," she said.

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[SpringsSong]

"Fine," Loq said, his hand finally dropping from her face and taking both of her hands in his. "Maybe in another life we would have been able to..."

"I know, Loq," Xyshari said. "Maybe if we had never been Jedi."

"But would we have ever met if we hadn't been Jedi, and hadn't been in that specific order together?" he asked. Xyshari's head hung as she shook her head; he smiled, however, and lifted her chin to look at him. She met his eyes, which she could tell surprised him, and she took in his face once more: his dark brown skin, the slightly red-brown hair, the dull horns that adorned the top of his head, and the tattoos that he had received when he came of age.

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[SpringsSong]

"Ra'tikaya ri," Xyshari said after a moment. "You know that, right? I was never allowed to say that when we were both alive..."

Here, Loq placed a finger on her lips, cutting her off. He would lean down and press a chaste kiss to her lips, pulling back and offering a smile.

"Ci pilar chu, nalah," he said. "Make sure she treats you right, lat delt, or I'll make sure she knows that I still watch over you."

Xyshari felt tears brim over her eyes, and she nodded and barely managed to mouth "I will" in acknowledgement. He dropped her hands, and began to walk away.

"Shar au furn hai pina taohlih," he said. "You have a long journey to make."

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[SpringsSong]

It was then that Xyshari became aware of the sun rising around their campsite. She stretched slightly, becoming aware of her wife beside her. As she moved, Lana moved into her, curling up and draping an arm over her.

"Not yet," Lana murmured. "Just a little bit longer, please, love..."

Xyshari smiled, shifting so that she could place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"We have a long way to travel before we reach our destination, and we can always rest on the ship, you know," she said. Lana groaned in protest.

"Ship isn't as comfortable as here," she said. "Just five more minutes, love."

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[SpringsSong]

"Fine. Five more minutes," Xyshari agreed, laying back and letting her fingers idly running through her hair as she looked at the sleeping Sith. As she thought about Loq's words, she also couldn't help but think about how fortunate she was: even though she had been at her lowest, even though she had let Lana know that she didn't know what she was doing, she had been patient.

"Mm. You're thinking," Lana murmured, tilting her head upward and opening bleary yellow-orange eyes. "You had a lengthy discussion with Loq, didn't you?" she asked.

"One of these nights, you'll join me for one of those discussions," Xyshari said. "Just like one day, you'll meet Ti."

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[SpringsSong]

"I'm not sure who I'm more nervous to meet; someone who could put a very real lightsaber through my heart, or someone who's already crossed over and probably wouldn't be afraid to make me question my grip on reality," Lana murmured, pressing gentle kisses on Xyshari's neck.

"Oh, Loq wouldn't do anything that extreme," she said. "But he did say to make sure you treat me right, or else he'll make sure you know he still watches over me."

"I wouldn't dream of hurting you, Xyshari," Lana said, pushing herself up so that she was leaning over her. Xyshari blinked softly as she took in the view of her wife: her mussed blonde hair, her warm eyes that reminded her of fire, her soft lips.

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[SpringsSong]

Lana took Xyshari's hand and placed it on her chest, in between her breasts, where the burn from the stun bolt Theron had intended for her had hit her. Xyshari lowered her eyes to look at the burn, her fingers tracing over the spidering marks that traveled out from the center where she had been hit.

"You and I both know that I would give anything to protect you. I gave five years of my life hunting for you..." she said, and Xyshari smiled softly as she nodded.

"I know. And Loq dragged me out of the blast zone of a missile and made sure I stayed awake, and Ti saved me from certain death," she said. "You're not the only one that would give their life for me."

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[SpringsSong]

"You mentioned something about coming to after a missile hit from a walker, and his being the face you saw," Lana said. "Did I ever get that story?"

"It really isn't anything glamorous," Xyshari said. "Our base was attacked. Loq and I were both Wardens - we were sent to defend the hangar. I helped him fight off several waves of these advanced HK droids, and then, the walker was airdropped in. It fired a missile at us, I was the only one who was unable to get out of the way in time. I ended up with a concussion, and I think he recognized that right off the bat."

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[SpringsSong]

"How are you still alive?" Lana asked.

"Oh, that wasn't even the worst one. There was the time when my insides were literally falling out of me..." Xyshari said, and she let her hand drop from Lana's chest as she sat up. She would kiss her wife gently, breathing in her scent and savoring her taste, one of her hands coming up to gently cup her wife's face.

"I'm convinced you're some sort of... miracle," Lana said when she pulled away from the kiss, pressing her forehead to Xyshari's. "But, enough of that. We have some special items to retrieve, as I understand it."

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[SpringsSong]

"Yes. I hope you're ready to brave the cold of Ilum again, although we're not going to be going to that crystal cave," Xyshari said. "The place we're going to is... much more sacred. I wouldn't blame you if you choose to stay some distance away because of the presence of light there..."

"I think I'll be able to survive," Lana said. "After all, we both survived Nathema - twice."

"Yes, I suppose a complete absence of the Force feels ten times worse than being surrounded by either light or darkness," Xyshari mused, turning to find her armor. "I just have one request for you, before we get there."

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[SpringsSong]

"As long as it's not too ridiculous," Lana said.

"I hope asking you to wear the spare set of Council Guard robes I keep just in case isn't 'too ridiculous', then," Xyshari teased, turning towards Lana and sticking her tongue out playfully. "It's just a precaution in case... anyone might be there. And, I think this goes without saying, but--"

"Conceal my alignment in the Force? That is easily done," Lana said. "And I suppose my willingness to wear that uniform will depend heavily on its comfort level. I'm not too worried about the mask part - I've worn much more uncomfortable masks in the past."

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[SpringsSong]

"The robes themselves are both surprisingly warm and surprisingly comfortable - I've never had an issue with being cold when I have gone to Ilum wearing these robes," Xyshari said. "Which is a good thing because I would be here for weeks - even months - at a time when I was a Guardsman, and when I was the Gatekeeper."

"That would explain the more coarse texture of your fur, then," Lana said. "You adapted to the cold, so your fur started coming in thicker to account for that."

"I never thought my fur was coarse," Xyshari said. "Do you have a frame of reference?"

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[SpringsSong]

"Cathar don't often do very well in the Empire," Lana said. "There was an apprentice who was particularly gifted in the Force, but she didn't stay long at the academy. She came from a life of slavery, and being both a slave and nonhuman had her off to a poor start with the overseers. Her fur was much more fine at a glance."

"She was probably either from a warm planet, or had been malnourished. Maybe both," Xyshari said. "I'm not surprised she was a slave, though - females of my species often end up in that life if fate is particularly cruel to them. The males are 'too strong-willed' for that."

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