There was no way that the girl next to me was going to cheer me up. She never did. And neither would the bustling city, for that matter. Especially with most everyone avoiding me. "Hey, Elllie! Are you suuuure you're okay? I mean..." I glared at the smaller girl as she lifted up part of my bangs, "just look at you!" I batted her hand away with a sigh, feeling my bangs return to their rightful place. "When was the last time you remembered me being okay?" How could I ever be okay again knowing that my family died while I'm here living a - supposedly - happy life?
As if answering my unspoken question, she frowned slightly and opened her mouth to speak. "Listen, there's a reason that you're still alive! Wouldn't you think your family would still want you to live happily?" Her reply shocked me a little, though I would never admit it. I looked her over when she stopped, hands on her hips. Kusu Kusu, a fellow clown in our little traveling circus. She hadn't straightened her curly platinum blonde hair yet - as it still wasn't performance time - though she still had a tear drop and a star painted on opposite sides of her cheeks, just under her light red eyes. She traded in her usual clown getup for a pair of red converse, a mid-thigh length white frilled skirt and a gray jacket with light pink sleeves.
"Hey, listen. I'll get you some ice cream, but at least cheer up for the performance, okay?" Before I could protest, she ran past me and over to the ice cream stand. I sighed and sat down on the edge of the nearby fountain, allowing me a chance to observe my appearance. My pitch black feathered hair came to my shoulders and my titled head allowed my bangs to fall enough to reveal my light blue eyes. The dark blue jacket I had on was left hanging open, revealing a plain white shirt underneath, and although I couldn't see it in the reflection, my baggy black pants lead all the way down to my black and blue basketball shoes.
Kusu came back with my ice cream cone faster than I honestly thought possible. She handed me one, the other one still sitting in her hand. "There. Have that and he happy, okay Ellie? I've gotta run though, so I'll see you later!" I nodded and quietly thanked her before she ran off. I'm sure anyone else would be alarmed at my lack of a smile at the gesture, but she was used to it. I was used to it.