[Atoli01]

There was no way that the girl next to me was going to cheer me up. She never did. And neither would the bustling city, for that matter. Especially with most everyone avoiding me. "Hey, Elllie! Are you suuuure you're okay? I mean..." I glared at the smaller girl as she lifted up part of my bangs, "just look at you!" I batted her hand away with a sigh, feeling my bangs return to their rightful place. "When was the last time you remembered me being okay?" How could I ever be okay again knowing that my family died while I'm here living a - supposedly - happy life?

As if answering my unspoken question, she frowned slightly and opened her mouth to speak. "Listen, there's a reason that you're still alive! Wouldn't you think your family would still want you to live happily?" Her reply shocked me a little, though I would never admit it. I looked her over when she stopped, hands on her hips. Kusu Kusu, a fellow clown in our little traveling circus. She hadn't straightened her curly platinum blonde hair yet - as it still wasn't performance time - though she still had a tear drop and a star painted on opposite sides of her cheeks, just under her light red eyes. She traded in her usual clown getup for a pair of red converse, a mid-thigh length white frilled skirt and a gray jacket with light pink sleeves.

"Hey, listen. I'll get you some ice cream, but at least cheer up for the performance, okay?" Before I could protest, she ran past me and over to the ice cream stand. I sighed and sat down on the edge of the nearby fountain, allowing me a chance to observe my appearance. My pitch black feathered hair came to my shoulders and my titled head allowed my bangs to fall enough to reveal my light blue eyes. The dark blue jacket I had on was left hanging open, revealing a plain white shirt underneath, and although I couldn't see it in the reflection, my baggy black pants lead all the way down to my black and blue basketball shoes.

Kusu came back with my ice cream cone faster than I honestly thought possible. She handed me one, the other one still sitting in her hand. "There. Have that and he happy, okay Ellie? I've gotta run though, so I'll see you later!" I nodded and quietly thanked her before she ran off. I'm sure anyone else would be alarmed at my lack of a smile at the gesture, but she was used to it. I was used to it.

[jobiehanna]

A young woman that roamed the streets of Lamenolai was in search of a circus. After seeing a flyer, she had taken immediate interest and wanted to go. You see, she had never been to a circus before. She had heard of them, yes, but never been to one. But Lamenolai was a big city, and Rufus was having trouble finding the location. Sure, the show wasn't for a few more hours yet, but she wanted to make sure she got there in time and got a good seat.

But now Rufus wasn't so sure she would be able to make it there on time. She had gotten completely turned around in the city and didn't know which way she was supposed to go. And she was afraid to ask for directions because everyone around her looked busy. She sighed, pushing her hair back from her face. Her bangs refused to stay back in the pony tail she the rest of her hair in, so she had to keep pushing it back so she could see where she was going.

She continued to look for someone who didn't seem too busy. Everyone was either on the phone or talking with someone else in person. But soon Rufus located a man sitting on the edge of one of the fountains. He didn't seem too friendly, but he was alone and Rufus didn't know who else to ask. She swallowed, her green eyes taking in the man and his appearance. She wondered why he looked so sad, even with the ice cream cone in his hand.

Rufus finally decided to approach the man. She cleared her throat and offered a kind smile. "Um, hello? I'm a little lost, I was wondering if you could help me?" The words came out calmer than she had expected them to, so she charged on with what else she had to say. "I'm looking for a circus, do you know where it's going to be?" She smiled again, hoping she wasn't bothering the man too much.

{1.1}

[Atoli01]

Honestly, I didn't even notice the girl standing in front of me until she spoke up. My gaze remained locked on the ice cream cone throughout her question. I just couldn't bring myself to eat the thing, even with the good intentions behind the gesture in mind. Kusu really annoyed me. Eventually however, I did end up ripping my attention away from the sad, melting ice cream. Just in time to hear the girl's question, that is.

I blinked at her a couple times, doing a double take in my mind. Considering how popular out circus in particular was, it definitely wasn't weird for someone to be looking for the place. But what bothered me was how weirdly things sometimes played out. Out of all the people in the city, this girl had managed to run into me. Me, who was a performer in that very circus. But there was no way that I would let her know that.

"It's... just a couple minutes away," I told her before taking in my surroundings. I needed to figure out where I was before I could even think about giving directions. "Just keep walking straight from here and take a right by that fancy purse shop. Should be a straight shot from there." Honestly, people in general were going to be the death of me.

[jobiehanna]

It seemed to take a couple of minutes for the guy to realize she was even talking to him. That kind of annoyed her a bit, but she kept her mouth shut. Rufus looked toward the way the man was talking about, taking note of the fancy purse shop. Had it really been that easy? She blushed slightly, a little embarrassed that things were really that simple. "Oh, okay. Thank you," she said with another smile. Then she took a step away from him, toward the shop.

But as she turned, she seemed to rethink her actions. She turned back around, eyes once more on the stranger. "Sorry to be a bother," she said. Then she eyed the melting ice cream cone in his hand. She smiled once more, "I'd eat that before it melts," she said with a chuckle. "Have a nice day!" She waved good-bye to the man and went on her way. Once she reached the purse shop she took the right and continued on. Soon she saw the circus tent, but no spectators were gathering yet. After all, it was still early. So Rufus decided to back track toward the purse shop and spend the remaining few hours shopping in the area so as not to get lost again.

{1.2}

[Atoli01]

The fact that the girl blushed at her mistake was almost enough to make me laugh. It was funny, but in some ways, almost pathetic. Why would a person get embarrassed by something like that went completely over my head. Either way, I nodded slightly at her thank you. Giving a lost kid directions was nothing, really. And after all, she was someone that I was going to make smile. Even if she didn't know it was me - nearly no one did - it didn't matter. Even if I couldn't smile, I could pass that emotion on to others.

Just as I was about to stand up to throw the ice cream away, she turned around again. "It's nothing," I muttered softly. It was true; it didn't bother me any. But at the mention of my ice cream, I glanced down at it and reconsidered my earlier decision. As soon as she turned away once again, I listened to her and quickly finished my ice cream cone. Letting a pure gesture go to waste was no good. I wandered aimlessly around the city for the next hour before I made my way to the large circus tent. We still had to prepare, but show time was definitely approaching faster than it seemed.

[jobiehanna]

The purse shop was quite entertaining, with its many bags of different colors, shapes and sizes. But what really entertained Rufus for the remaining time before the show was a hat shop she wondered in. She spent her time there trying on different hats. The viking hat was quite fun, as was the top hat, but Rufus wasn't here to buy them. No, just for a little fun.

As she felt the time for the circus growing closer, Rufus checked her watch. Ah, it was closer than she had expected. She removed the last hat she had been wearing, one with a bright blue feather sticking from it, and thanked the lady at the register for allowing her to have such a good time. Then Rufus left the shop and headed back toward the circus tent. As she meandered down the street, she thought of the man from earlier. She wondered if he would ever attend a circus. She assumed that no, there was no way. He seemed to sad to want to go to a circus.

Pushing her thoughts of the man away, Rufus finally reached the tent. People were starting to gather now, which meant she had to get in line quick if she wanted a good seat. So she pushed her way through the gathering crowd until she was as close to the beginning of the line as possible. Now all she had to do was wait.

{1.3}

[Atoli01]

"So, you cheered up yet Ellie?" Her sing-song voice was almost grating on my ears. Almost. But in some ways, it felt nice to talk to someone I actually knew. That girl back then was kind of weird, really. I saw Kusu lick her finger and - much to my dismay - rub it on my cheek. "Dried ice cream. Don't want that for the performance, now do we?" she said with a wink. "I didn't think you would actually eat it..." Her voice was quiet and I could've sworn that I saw a sad look flash across her face, but just as quickly as it came, it was gone.

I looked at the clock on the wall; just a few minutes til' show time. We were all in our performance outfits by now, minus me and Kusu's masks. She wore this ridiculous puffy outfit that made her blend in with the circus tent - red, blue, white, and yellow stripes - with a white frilled collar and a matching jester hat. As always, she had straightened her hair and still had the star and tear drop on her cheeks.

I wasn't dressed so outrageously, however; I refused to look like an idiot. I just had on a plain white puffy shirt on, tucked into my red pants. The belt and both me and Kusu's shoes matched - they were just a plain shade of black (though I had boots on, compared to her flats). As always, she insisted on curling my hair - though it was so short that it always just turned out wavy - and clipped my bangs back to the top of my head with a bobby clip.

Both of us smiled and nodded at each other as everyone took their positions. We slid on our half-masks and followed their leads. We were one of the opening acts, after all! Both of us watched as the ringleader walked out onto the floor, announcing the beginning of the circus. "Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the 25th annual circus! Let the circus begiiiin!" he announced.

[jobiehanna]

After what seemed like hours of waiting, Rufus was finally inside the circus tent. She paid her way in and rushed to find a seat. Along the way she found herself admiring the large tent and trying to figure out where all the performers were. They had to be somewhere near, right? But as she continued toward the benches, she decided she better not go looking for them. The crowd was growing as she continued on her way in, making it nearly preventable anyway.

Rufus finally reached the benches that were set up for spectators. She managed to get a seat on the second row back, although she was surrounded my eager young children. But she didn't mind them at the moment, they weren't too obnoxious yet. Rufus sat with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands as she awaited the performance to begin.

The ringleader finally made his way out to the middle of the tent, and his loud voice interrupted all the conversations between the spectators. The crowd erupted with applause, Rufus included, when the ringleader was done speaking. The crowd then awaited for the performers to begin coming out to do their acts. Rufus was nearly on the edge of her seat with anticipation, her eyes searching all the entrances for the performers.

{1.4}

[Atoli01]

The end of the ring leader's announcement was me and Kusu's cue to take the stage, along with four others, of course - Miley, Charles, Mirage and Donovan. For the most part, the outfits remained the same for performers of the same gender, though each one of us tweaked our outfits a little bit, such as my belt and Kusu's face paint.  On cue, all of the girls - who were mostly in charge of the gags - came running out and clapping to the upbeat music in an attempt to get the crowd riled up.

Miley and Kusu ran up along the edges of where the spectators sat, doing silly things like honking their red noses or squirting the audience with those 'cute' flower pins. Mirage, on the other hand, stood in the center with a small top hat, letting dove after dove after dove fly out of it and up through the top of the tent. She quickly gestured over to where the performers were, cuing Charles to come out with her. They both started this weird little skit where they were 'fighting,' which for some reason beyond my knowledge, entertained the crowd immensely.

It wasn't until the spotlight flashed on where the performers were located that me and Donovan came out. We came rolling out on big red exercise balls, juggling four or five smaller balls at the same time - something that was a real challenge for me when I was younger. When two beagles came running out from the same spot, we quickly threw the smaller balls to our respective dog before jumping off of the exercise ball and throwing it into the audience.

One by one, the dogs threw each small ball back at us and we caught it while continuing to juggle them. Once we had all of them back, me and Donovan nodded at each other. The other four - and the beagles - stopped what they were doing and sat cross-legged around both of us. I took a deep breath as me and Donovan started juggling all the balls together, the hardest part of the routine for me. We had to get this right! And much to my relief, we did.

[jobiehanna]

Rufus watched excitedly as the clowns came out. She seemed to be enjoying it as much as the children around her as she clapped her hands with the rest of the crowd. She could hear cheers behind her from the other spectators. As she listened to the music and watched the clowns, she couldn't decide who to watch. Her eyes darted back and forth, back and forth.

One of the clowns was near where she was, and the children around her were giggling and wiping water off their faces and hands. Rufus laughed along with the children, her eyes still watching the ring. More of them were coming out now. One of them was in the center of the ring, releasing doves. Then there was a skit of some kind of play fight, which really excited the crowd.

But then came out two more clowns on big red exercise balls. They juggled several smaller balls, and Rufus was entertained by that, mainly because it seemed like such a hard trick to learn. The girl next to Rufus squealed with excitement, clapping her hands when the men threw the balls to the dogs. Rufus laughed and applauded along with the rest of the crowd.  The two red balls were in the audience now, taken up by the crowd and passed along between them.

Rufus still had her eyes on the performers, watching the two clowns with the balls pass them between each other. The movements were nearly hypnotizing. But as Rufus watched the two, her eyes eventually left the balls to look at the two men. One of them looked vaguely familiar, but if only for the hair and eyes, eyes that she could barely see behind the mask he wore. She wondered why he seemed so familiar, but couldn't place it. She shook the thought away, but as she continued to watch the performance, the feeling hung on her.

{2.5}

[Atoli01]

The rest of the circus went without a hitch. All six of us finished our performance, followed by little skits and tricks between the rest of the circus members and the other animals we had, like lions, elephants and horses. All in all, it was a pretty good night. It wasn't out best - that was for sure - but it was definitely enough to please the crowd and as I said before, no one messed up. The crowd was all smiles. And that made me... almost all smiles. I wouldn't doubt that I had just... lost the ability to smile altogether.

After the circus, all of the performers retired to the back rooms and got changed, removing all of their makeup and fancy costumes. Well, everyone except for Kusu - well, her usual star and tear drop, to be more specific. Me and Kusu both planned to meet up outside, though as always, I was early. I kept the hood on my jacket up however - since my hair hadn't fallen back into it's regular state - and sat on the bench waiting for her to come. Why did it always take girls so long to change anyways?

[jobiehanna]

Rufus enjoyed the remainder of the circus as she sat with the rest of the audience. As the show went on the girl beside Rufus was constantly talking about the different things, but especially the animals. When the horses came out she squealed in delight once more, this time grabbing Rufus's arm and pointing. Of course Rufus went along with her, smiling and giggling with her.

The show ended, and the audience applauded loudly, some shouts and other noises accompanied it. Rufus was one of the last of the audience members out of the large tent. She had really hoped she'd be able to catch one of the performers to tell them how much she enjoyed the show, but it didn't seem like any of them had stuck around.

As she left the tent, she stole a backward glance toward the tent, noticing a man sitting on a nearby bench. His hood was up, but, as she had with the clown, she felt as if she recognized him from somewhere. Rufus glanced around, noticing the lack of people in the growing darkness. Then she back-tracked toward the man.

As she neared him, she could see his face despite the hood he had up. Those eyes... but where had she seen him before? The question continued to run through her head when she finally got there. "Hey, um, I know this might sound a little odd, but I feel like I've seen you before, but I can't place where," she said with a smile. She wasn't exactly sure what she wanted to say, "Do I? Or, do you know me?" She probably sounded like an idiot, approaching someone just because she felt like she recognized him from somewhere.

{2.6}

[Atoli01]

Great. It was that same girl from earlier. I feigned confusion - which would hopefully work - and threw one of my hands up in the air. "I've never even seen you before," I lied. I really wasn't a people person, and this was just proof. If human contact could possibly be avoided, I would assure that it was. People were a pain after all. That's what I told myself, anyways; it was pointless getting attached to people. Eventually, either you'll lose them or they'll lose you, neither of which are situations that either party really cares to be in.

"Oooh, you've got a girlfriend now, Ellie?" I turned my attention to where the voice came from, and as expected, it was none other than Kusu. "Of course not, you idiot. I don't even know this kid." Why couldn't she had come just a minute or two earlier? Anyways, I didn't see why it took her so long to change. The only thing that was different about her compared to before the performance was her wet hair tied into a messy side bun. I would never understand girls.

[jobiehanna]

Rufus looked at the man's eyes once again. "Hm," she said. "I could have sworn I'd seen you somewhere," she pondered out loud. She thought about it for a few more seconds, but just as she was thinking of just dropping the subject and leaving, a different voice interrupted her thoughts. She turned toward the new voice, a slight blush creeping up her face. "Oh, no no no," she said hurriedly. "I just thought he was someone I knew," she rushed on, biting her lip.

Rufus looked the newcomer over, noticing her star and teardrop on her cheeks. She looked familiar as well, was she a clown from the circus? That was a possibility... Then Rufus cast a glance back toward the man, Ellie, she guessed, again. And that's when it clicked. "I do know you, or well, I asked you for directions earlier," she exclaimed. "Why did you lie?" There was now a hurt look in her eyes as she looked at him, a little befuddled that he would lie about seeing her earlier.

{2.7}

[Atoli01]

Kusu obviously found the girl's rambling funny, as she was about to start laughing her head off. It was kind of funny though; she got flustered over such a trivial thing. I was eighteen and had never even had a girlfriend before. If it was any other guy, I'm sure that would've been incredibly odd. But for me it wasn't. "It's fine~ I was just joking~ It's fun to tease him!"

What the girl said next though is what really caught me off guard. I guess it really wasn't all that odd to remember someone that you talked to just hours earlier, though for some reason, I didn't think she would recognize me. Maybe it was the fact that I had a hood on or my hair done differently? I don't know... "So you two have met!" Kusu exclaimed in shock. "Listen, I know he would never do it, so... would you accept my apologies? He's just--" I pulled her down on the bench next to me, my hand over her mouth. "I'm not very sociable. People are a pain..." I muttered sadly.