[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

Borealis whimpered and screamed as her body began to push. She clung onto Cassus' hand as if it were the only thing tethering her to safety, and she cried like a whelp. She didn't want to do this, but her body wasn't giving her a choice, and now it was time to face the fact that she was a mother.

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[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

Cassus sat back, exhausted, in the early morning light. At last, Borealis was resting, her labour complete. Three tiny balls of fur, two girls and a boy, clung to their mother, and Cassus felt protective instincts already beginning to surface. Borealis still had tear stains down her cheeks, but he had cleaned her as best he could, and now he watched over the family - his family, his mind corrected - as they slept.

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[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

Borealis felt something wiggling beside her, and groaned; she didn't want to open her eyes and face it.

"Have you been awake all night?" she murmured without looking at him, scared to see his reaction. She cringed when she realised that she was naked under the blankets; he must have help her undress.

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[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

Cassus reached over and held the paw that was above the blanket.

"Yes" he murmured quietly, afraid that he would wake the pups. "I was keeping watch - you looked like you needed the sleep."

He squeezed her paw gently, but didn't look at her face, aware that she was in a dark mood and unsure of how to help her.

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[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

Borealis opened her eyes slightly and grimaced when she noticed one of the tiny balls of fur had curled up next to her chest. She didn't return Cassus' squeeze, but she didn't pull away either, needing the comfort but hating herself for it.

"You should go" she spoke hollowly, not realising she had done so until the words were out.

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[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

Cassus paused, and then resumed gently rubbing her paw.

"Probably" he said in a carefully measured tone; "the market will be starting soon and we would want a good spot."

He raised his head slightly, and stared at the wall, keeping his tone pleasantly neutral; "I'd rather stay, though - give you a hand with the little ones."

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[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

Borealis opened her eyes wide, and looked at him with a mixture of fear and awe on her face. She was sure he had just declared his intention to stay, but she was so scared that she had heard wrong - after all, what male would deliberately choose to stay with a female for no reason, especially when they were not the father.

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[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

Cassus glanced at her wide eyes and swallowed; he was being careful with his tone, but could not shake the nervousness he could feel building in his stomach. He wanted to stay, but there was no guarantee she wouldn't ask him to leave - and the fear he saw in his eyes made his stomach clench unpleasantly.

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[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

A lone tear rolled down Borealis' cheek and Cassus couldn't take it any more. He sighed, and turned his head to face her.

"I think we should talk about this, and us, and how we're going to do this from now on" he said, gesturing towards the bed.

Borealis sniffed, but nodded, and scrambled to sit upright.

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[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

Cassus soothed her, and then helped her ease into a sitting position with blankets balled up behind to support her back. He fished out the three fluffballs from under the covers, smiling slightly at their protests, and positioned them in her arms so that she could hold them.

Borealis looked at them properly for the first time, and smiled despite the tears that were now rolling freely down her face.

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[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

He sat down on the edge of the bed, and smiled gently, folding his hands together in his lap.

"I want to stay" he declared quietly, gently so as not to scare her again. "They're not mine, but if you'll let me, I want to raise them with you as my own.

He held her gaze, and his breath, and waited with false calmness.

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[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

Borealis couldn't believe what she was hearing, and her arms began to tremble, causing the little ones to whimper softly.

"You don't love me" she whispered, ashamed that she had said it but voicing all of her fears in one moment. He didn't love her, and she didn't love him, and if they stayed together she was afraid he would use her like Kale had and that was unbearable to think about.

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[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

Cassus considered his words carefully before he spoke, and kept his voice as gentle as he could.

"No, I don't love you, and I know you don't love me, but I could love you, very easily - and I already like you as a companion. We have a comfortable relationship, and that is enough for me."

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[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

Borealis nodded, even as her heart broke; she knew what he said made sense, and yet a part of her had wished that he loved her - not that she loved him, but because she now knew she would be unlovable. A walking pariah for having had pups unmated, and now with a mate that wouldn't love her.

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[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

Cassus sensed that she wasn't happy, and he sighed; he knew she wanted the ideal, however much she would deny it, but it wasn't something he could offer just yet. He knew love, from his mother, and he knew hurt, from his experiences, and this was precious, something he wanted to hold onto, and he couldn't risk it breaking.

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