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Lana. Human form.
Xyshari (image pending). Cathar form.

Lana had expected Xyshari to come out of their meeting with her skin crawling and feeling like she needed to bathe with how casually she had offered up information.  Or, at least, she had up until she had confided the fact that the reason she had not run so eagerly back to the Republic was that they had taken the first shots at her on Iokath.  So the meeting that she had arranged could have easily been with Republic officials if the Empire had fired on her instead.

"You're clearly thinking rather hard about something, Lana," Xyshari said after a few moments, which caused her fiance to jump.

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"...and no, I'm not gonna look at what it is.  I promised myself when we first went down this road that I wouldn't peek into your thoughts, no matter how tempting.  Your thoughts are private until you choose to share them with me," Xyshari continued, and Lana sighed as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"I was just thinking about how different that meeting would have been if it had not been the Republic that fired the first shots at me on Iokath, my love," Lana said.  "But at the same time, I didn't expect you to offer up such information willingly."

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"If I went back to them, the first thing they would expect me to do would be to turn you over for questioning," Xyshari said.  "These Jedi purposely stayed out of the conflict with the Eternal Empire that we were at the helm of.  If they know of the Alliance, then... maybe their thoughts might be different.  But I highly doubt that they could look at you and see my most trusted advisor."

"You think they'd just see another Sith just waiting to attack at an opportune moment," Lana said, nodding slowly.  "I think I understand."  Xyshari smiled softly as she placed her hand under Lana's chin and tilted her head up towards her the faintest amount--there wasn't much of a height difference between the two.

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"I know Gnost-Dural would," Xyshari said.  "You know his Padawan was sent to infiltrate the Sith and fell to the Dark Side, right?  And he later tricked her into going to Duro, where she met her end?"

"Who was his apprentice?" Lana asked, clearly shocked and intrigued by the statement.

"By the time she died, she was known as Darth Karrid," Xyshari said.  Lana's eyes widened.

"You mean--"

"Yes," Xyshari said blankly.

"Darth Malgus' apprentice?" Lana asked, rubbing her temples as she shook her head.  Xyshari nodded.

"If I show up there to render aid with you... they'll see only that I've fallen.  They'll try to redeem me, and they'll put you down.  I'm not going to let that happen."

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"I think I understand," Lana said after a few moments, nodding her head.  She sighed as she looked back to Xyshari.  "It was... simpler when we were independent from either of them, wasn't it?" she asked.

"It was... and maybe you and I still can be separate from either of them," Xyshari said, her tone soft as she tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?" Lana asked.

"I mean, we help who we feel we ought to help in this mess," Xyshari said.  "But we don't offer official support either way.  Those who came to us from either side are free to go wherever they please."

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"That way we can maintain some independence, and we can choose to support whomever we support in this conflict," Lana said, nodding her head slightly.  "It does make a measure of sense.  It also means that we keep our involvement to a minimum, in the hopes that they won't expect us to provide support one way or another."

"Exactly," Xyshari said.  "We send in agents of the Alliance, we gather what intel we need--we keep what deals we've made--and we decide for ourselves what our involvement should be.  I've no love of Master Gnost-Dural or of Tau Idair..."

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"I'm sensing a 'however'," Lana said, folding her arms as the Cathar sighed, shaking her head.

"However... my former Padawan and my ex-husband are both there, providing some measure of aid, no doubt," Xyshari said with a sigh.  "I will freely admit that, perhaps my marriage to Doc was a bit hasty, but... I still care about what happens to him, you know?  I wouldn't want to see his work hampered because we decided to freely offer support to the Empire, and... I think that Nadia would come after me herself if she got any hint that I was behind any Imperial involvement."

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"Your ex-husband... 'Doc', you call him," Lana said.  "I take it, then--"

"He's a doctor, all right," Xyshari said with a chuckle.  "He's got the ego to prove it, and... well, before he met me, he was quite the lady's man.  I made him want to change that... and then I met you," she said, looking over to Lana with a bashful smile on her face.  "Cathar don't... do the same-gender mate thing.  With the hell our world's been through, the continuation of our race is... something that must be at the forefront," she said.

"I'm guessing that the same goes for cross-race mates," Lana said.

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"Yes," Xyshari said.  "But... being a Jedi, I never figured that I would be taking a mate in the first place.  You know, 'there is no emotion, there is peace'," she said, sighing as she shook her head.  "There also aren't exactly an abundance of Cathar Jedi around, and you're watched like a hawk when it comes to attachments," she said.  "With human mates, there was no chance of offspring giving away the relationship--but that is not the point in the slightest," she said.

"Go on," Lana said softly.

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"If I'm honest, when I started my Jedi training, I never expected to find a mate.  To find love," Xyshari said.  "When I started to fall for Doc, I was scared... and thrilled, all at once.  Each kiss was stealing time and hoping the crew didn't catch us.  The few times we slipped away for more... private moments were more of the same," she said.  "I never knew that I could experience such feelings--not with another Cathar, and especially not with humans.  It was always taught that that was not our way," she said.

"And then you met me," Lana said.

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"And then I met you," Xyshari confirmed with a nod of her head.  "I honestly don't know what came over me the first time I said something slightly suggestive or forward with you, but when you responded favorably... it just went from there," she said.  "Each chance I got to talk with you felt more sweet then each kiss I stole with Doc, and we didn't even... kiss each time."

"Not exactly the picture-perfect Jedi you were made out to be in your reports," Lana said with a bemused chuckle.  "And yet, you managed not to fall to the dark side.  I'm impressed."

"I chose to let my love for others inspire me to serve the light," Xyshari said plainly.

[Wild Pet Found]

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"According to your Jedi teachings, just the fact that you even 'gave in' to such base desires should have been the start of your downfall, and pledging your love to me should have been the first step on your path to becoming a terrible monster," Lana said, chuckling softly.  "And yet, here you are--we'll soon be married, and you haven't taken a single step down the dark path."

"Well... I've taken one or two," Xyshari admitted, her voice darkening slightly.  "I killed Saresh, for no reason other than she tried to have me killed.  I killed Koth, for no other reason than he... angered me and I couldn't take the chance of him doing something so reckless again.  I swore I would kill Theron when he betrayed us--or when we thought he had."

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"Would you like my honest opinion on the matter?" Lana asked.

"I doubt it'll make me feel any better about it, but you know I value your opinions, Lana," Xyshari said, turning to regard her lover.

"Had you imprisoned Saresh, it would have only been a matter of time before her GenoHaradan agents broke her out and she attempted something again.  In killing her, you effectively removed a threat to the Alliance as a whole," she said.  "Koth was a liability who ran off the first time you showed that you weren't completely ready to defend Zakuul blindly when you let Kaliyo take the droids offline.  And then, he stole the Gravestone," she continued.

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"And Theron?" Xyshari prompted.

"We had every reason to believe that Theron had betrayed us," Lana said.  "With what he knew of the Alliance's inner workings, being your other top advisor, he could have just as easily killed us.  Swearing to bring about his own end would have been a matter of defending our own lives, not necessarily out of revenge," Lana said.  "Although I doubt that gives you little comfort still, looking back on it."

"That was my exact thought process with Theron," Xyshari admitted.  "He knew us when we first formed this alliance five years ago.  He knew everything about me from SIS.  What he could have done to destroy me... it would have done nothing short of that; destroy me."

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"And the other two?" Lana asked.

"With Saresh, I was fed up.  I worked with the woman on Taris and she was unbearable.  When I'd heard she'd been made Chancellor, I worried what that would mean for the next term.  You telling me that her replacement was a carefully-selected puppet and that she was effectively still in charge only made it worse," Xyshari said.  "When she showed that she would stoop as far as hiring bounty hunters to remove me from the picture to take the Alliance--take one of the two most prominent powers in the galaxy--for herself... she needed to be stopped."