[SpringsSong]

The fact that Lana didn't feel the claw was her first indication that the robe was more than it looked. She tilted her head slightly, and Xyshari smiled.

"We needed to be able to move freely. The armor I wore as a Warden was insufficient to perform that task," Xyshari said. "The cloth in these robes is laced with several metals to reinforce it, but also to keep it light. I can move unimpeded, and I can still take hits without being able to get my barrier up in time - which would be something I would avoid using if I was on duty as a guard, anyways."

[ 3BPs awarded ]

[SpringsSong]

"Because each barrier is unique to its user?" Lana asked, the voice still modulated.

"Because each barrier is unique to its user," Xyshari confirmed. "Mine in particular was very unique to me, and I know many in the Order would be able to link it to me in the first place." Here, she would stride over to the wardrobe and pull her own robes out, setting aside two stone totems first. Lana would look the totems over, not quite reaching out to touch one.

"These are the totems you mentioned?" she asked, and Xyshari nodded as she began to remove her armor.

[ 3BPs awarded ]

[SpringsSong]

"They are," she said. "The Gatekeeper strikes a piece of stone from the Tower of Duty and carves two things into it: the name of the supplicant, and their designation as a guard. It was how the Gatekeeper identified different members of the guard with their masks on," she said, holding out the totem. "The current gatekeeper doesn't follow this method, so I doubt they look any further than the fact that you have one," she said.

"And which unfortunate soul's was this?" Lana asked.

"Not very unfortunate, since he's still alive," Xyshari said. "This one was Ti's. His designation was Knowledge. I... was Serenity."

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[SpringsSong]

"Did you get to choose your designation?" Lana asked.

"No. I was assigned it by the Gatekeeper when I was training," she said. "In my case, it was a rather boisterous Zeltronian woman who had no reservations about letting the fact that she was a woman who could influence her pheromones to influence others around her. And whose mood often reflected those around her after spending any length of time around the other Zeltronian Jedi."

"Zeltronian... Jedi," Lana repeated. "I want to believe it, but I can't. It... seems counter-intuitive."

"Oh, believe me, she had her struggles," Xyshari said, fixing her own mask over her face.

[ 3BPs awarded ]

[SpringsSong]

"Here, take this spare pike," Xyshari said, passing a pike to Lana. Lana took the weapon, turning it over in her hands.

"What's the difference between this one and mine?" Lana asked.

"This one has a guard emitter on it," Xyshari said, her voice distorted. "Each of the guard have the same color crystal. We each experience a similar vision when we receive our guard crystal. And... some of us have similar reactions," she said.

"And what was yours, and then his?" Lana asked.

"To understand our reaction, you must understand the question asked of us by the Force itself," Xyshari said.

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[SpringsSong]

"We are asked if we will do anything to rid the Force of darkness," Xyshari said. "I saw my master, and he... presumably saw me. He never told me, I never asked. But, aside from his own family that he lost, I was one of the closest people to him," she continued.

"I see," Lana said.

"'Will you do what is required?' the spirit asked us. We both said yet, though I know I hesitated at first. Then, we saw ourselves - but with the same fire-orange eyes as you," she said, placing a hand on Lana's cheek. "And in a twisted voice that only barely resembled our own, asked, 'Even if you are the source?'"

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[SpringsSong]

"I didn't hesitate. In the vision, I held a dagger - an exquisite weapon with a well-engraved hilt," Xyshari said. "I turned it on myself and plunged it into my chest, while holding the gaze of my reflection. My vision swam around me, and when I came to, I was holding the crystal I had gone to find."

"And... he did similarly?" Lana asked.

"He never said out loud, but I could tell from his body language. He kept looking down at his chest, as though he was expecting a dagger to suddenly be there, lodged in his armor," she said.

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[SpringsSong]

"I can't say I blame him," Lana said. "How were you able to handle it?"

"I'd watched my master die. Watched visions of people accuse me of not being there, not being enough... saw my own master accuse me of letting him die. Saw a dark vision of myself offer me power untold... and I told the ones that said I wasn't enough that I couldn't be everywhere at once. Told my master that, if it was his fate to die then, so be it. Told the dark reflection that I would never kneel because what I had was plenty."

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[SpringsSong]

"I suppose what I'm getting at is... I had let everything go at that point. It was still touch-and-go with my master, although he was supposed to make a full recovery. When I stared that reflection in the eyes and stabbed myself in the chest, it was in defiance. 'I don't know what you expected,' I wanted to say, 'but I have proven time and again that I will do whatever it takes to do my duty.' Of course, back then, I wasn't... as world-wise as I am now. My world was getting larger for the first time since I learned I had the Force."

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[SpringsSong]

"I do have to admire that sort of... youthful vigor," Lana said. "I had it once, when I was much younger. Sometimes I wish I could have it again," she said. "But... I have something to fight for now, and something I'm not going to stop fighting for no matter what."

"I'm glad," Xyshari said. "Like I said, it's nice to be wanted for something other than my skills."

"And I will never stop wanting you for who you are, Xyshari. You know this," Lana said, smiling behind her mask. "And... damn this mask; I can't kiss you like this," she said with a slight growl.

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[SpringsSong]

Xyshari laughed, which sounded weird through the mask. Lana just knew that she was enjoying this a little too much.

"You can kiss me as much as you want when we're back on the ship after we leave Ilum," Xyshari said. "And yes, I am aware of what I am promising. I wouldn't be promising it if I weren't prepared."

"You'd better be," Lana said. "But... we have things to discuss. Don't worry, I'm not jealous - how can I be jealous of a man that is dead, after all - but I want to understand what his death did to you."

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[SpringsSong]

"That will be a long discussion, indeed," Xyshari said. "And one best saved for after we have left Ilum. For now, let's... I need to meditate. There is a type of meditation that Ken showed me one time, when he took me for a flight. I... am going to do that. You are welcome to join me, if you'd like."

"It's been too long since I meditated," Lana said. "I used to meditate a lot more, but... with everything that happened with the war..."

"You're not the only one that slipped," Xyshari said. "I didn't used to look this old, either."

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[SpringsSong]

"What do you mean?" Lana asked.

"It's an ability centered on the light side of the force - Curato Salva," Xyshari said. "It is mostly used to purge the body of minor toxins, to heal minor bruises and sprains... and it can extend the practitioner's lifespan significantly the more they practice it. As a Padawan, I practiced it every day. As a Knight, I practiced it every day. As a Master... I slipped. Had I kept up regularly, I might still be on track to live till I was well over six hundred."

"Six... hundred?!" Lana said in a shocked voice.

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[SpringsSong]

"Closer to six hundred and fifty," Xyshari said. "I... slipped when Ti started looking older than me. I began to realize I wasn't ready to outlive all but one of my friends," she said, shaking her head with a sigh. "That's when I started to see everything wrong with the Order. When I started wishing I could just leave and disappear and never go back," she said.

"And then you did?" Lana asked, following her to the cockpit.

"And then I did, but then I was roped into a new one and made a council member because we were facing the threat of Imperial annihilation."

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[SpringsSong]

"But then you left that one, too," Lana said.

"Only after I learned about Loq's death," Xyshari said. "It ruined me for a long time. It.. affected Ti, too. He found me singing one of the hymns of my people, and told me he was there for me in my native tongue. I was grateful to him, and made sure he knew as such. After a few minutes, he suggested that we were both 'too old for this', and that it was time for us to rest."

"And... he meant leave the Order," Lana said.

"And we did - but not without a severe tongue-lashing from Ken," Xyshari said.

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