[Redd]

Moonlight filtered through a partly drawn curtain, illuminating swirling motes. Silver light trickled in and cast shadows across a dusty, abandoned apartment. The lounge room that faced the entryway was sparsely decorated, consisting of a single, worn double sofa, pointing towards a television that looked like it had been phased out of production 5 years ago. The room opened up into the kitchen which was bare, and the adjacent bed and bath fared no better.

The apartment’s single permanent occupant, a lone spider, lowered a thread and carefully began to pick it’s way down the door frame.

[Redd]

And it’s life was cut short from the door being violently flung open by a brown-scaled claw, crushing the fine insect between wood and metal. The intruder hung on the door frame for a split second, multiple sets of golden eyes flicking rapidly around, assessing for danger before dropping back down onto all six legs and slunk inside, making sure to tuck in it’s long, barbed tail, before a claw shut the door behind and drew the curtains shut, snuffing out the light.

A backpack was haphazardly thrown onto the sofa, a disgruntled squeak coming from within as it landed. The bizarre lizard flicked a glance back, reptilian features twisting with guilt, before continuing with his sweep of the apartment.

[Redd]

His search turned up nothing though, the place was empty. Whether that was a relief or a disappointment, he wasn’t sure.

Golden claws uncertainly clasped around the bathroom basin, and he stared into the mirror. Six golden eyes, a lizard-like face, not unlike a skink, crested with a set of curved horns stared back. He released his grip on the basin, out of fear of destroying it and tilted his head, examining his reflection.

No change. Incredible.

[Redd]

He’d left Lamenolai and travelled all the way to Aldrect, was out over in Lambastia. And then back again. Then, after that, he’d fled Lamenolai, for good, fearing his life was in danger for several months, before deciding it was safe to come back.

And yet, he still looked the same as he had before he left. Sure, there was a bit more grime and dirt on him from the road and he looked a bit more tired but… after such a harrowing experience, he thought… he’d look a little more different.

[Redd]

Maybe… his lips raised in a snarl and a frill unfurled from around his neck, runes running around the edges began to light up in a familiar pattern.

Maybe he didn’t have to remember. Maybe, he didn’t have to be different. Maybe things could go back to the way they were and he wouldn’t know any different. His eyes lit up as he drew his glance towards the slowly pulsing runes, allowing himself to be caught up by them.

[Redd]

With a bit of luck, maybe… he could erase the fact, that for the last six months, he’d been hunted by a faction of scientists who’d aspired to play god. He wouldn’t even had been involved, had Yepha not interfered and (likely) fabricated a prophecy that was entirely designed to force his travelling companions to come into conflict with these scientists.

Maybe, he could forget the horrifying abominations that chased them, the Weavers, and their Gold Thread; an impossibly fine material that could cut through his scales with ease. Accidentally walk through one of their webs and you’d risk serious lacerations at the very least, and at worst, well… he was sure his remains wouldn’t even be able to be identified. Even to this day, spider webs and glints from golden objects still had the capacity to freeze him in his tracks, sometimes triggering a full on panic attack. It would be good to forget that too.

[Redd]

Maybe, he could forget Agrenekke and what she represented – what.. he’d done to her. Before all this, she’d been nothing more than a dead memory. The fire-breathing, otter-like Chaos had been one of his first loves. He had assumed she died a long time ago.

When he was young, he’d been captured by a hierarchy general, who’d displayed an interest in his inherent abilities. Most assumed that his Chaos powers gave him the ability to mess with the minds of other people – this was untrue. Instead, he had a natural affinity towards runes.

[Redd]

His body, his two sets of ambidextrous arm-like limbs were almost perfect for drawing up complex runes on the fly. Unfortunately for him, he never learned runic magic and the General instead, had the idea to tattoo specific runes on his body, giving him power in exchange for his loyalty. A good report resulted in a new tattoo, so he happily complied with the General’s orders. Then, one day, he found out that his clan was preparing a raid against the Hierarchy in their area, to try and secure more resources for themselves. And so, he turned them into his General. He begged and pleaded for them to be spared.

They were massacred. He thought, his partner, Agrenekke was among them. Or so he thought.

[Redd]

Years later, she shows up working for his enemies and performing their abhorrent experiments. She attacked him, fuelled by rage. In the moment and in the company of Faen, he’d played it off. He’d referred to her as a ‘crazy bitch’ and had made numerous shaky jokes at her expense. He had a pretty awful way of dealing with trauma, in the moment, and that was a part that had stuck with him since. Never in a million years, would the version of her that he kept in his head do that. The Chaos he knew was a pacifist, morally upstanding, at least, as far as Chaos Outcast went. It was an undeniable truth, he’d driven her on that path and he’d killed her, a second time.

If only he could be free of that guilt too.

[Redd]

He stared for a few seconds at his reflection, frill raised, first set of claws gripping the basin with renewed determination and the bathroom bathed in a golden glow. With a pained howl, he let go and retracted his frill, claws clutching at his head. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bring himself to wipe those memories.

If he did, who’d remember? Did he not owe it to those lives to carry on their memory?

Did he not owe it to himself to remember the pain he’d caused, to remember the pain he’d helped heal?

[Redd]

It was already hard remembering the final battle, the one that ripped a hole in reality, above Lamenolai and he frequently was plagued with flashes of that, violent moments where, he wasn’t sure if he was here or there in that moment. He’d gotten so caught up in the memory, that when he came to, he’d often find his camp in tatters, ripped apart by his own claws.

If he succeeded in taking his own memory, who was to say he’d still be mentally intact by the end of the experience? He was careful, in his own use of his power. Since he was explicitly able to command what things he wanted his victims to forget, he was able to minimise mental instability in his own drones, but he'd had incidents with people who'd been exposed to his powers too often and... it was not a pleasant thing to think about. Since his powers were all verbal, he wasn't even sure he'd be able to select the right memories to wipe.

What if he wiped his entire memory?

No, it wasn’t worth the risk.

[Redd]

He sighed and dropped back down onto all six sets of legs and trotted out of the bathroom, his claws clacking lightly on the tiles. As he reached the kitchen again, he heard a blood curdling scream.

With a hiss, he spun around and pulled himself up to full height, balancing on his two back legs while he stared down on the intruder, lips parted, revealing a row of needle-like teeth, frill fully extended and beginning to light up. He faltered, frill drooping for half a second as he recognised the terrified human figures cowering below.

[Redd]

“Shit, Hart are you back there? Are you alive?” the woman attempted to call past him, while her husband grabbed her shoulders to try and pull her back.

His neighbours. Shit. Of course the Nyugens would come up and check on him if they heard a noise. He'd dazzled them before, so reestablishing that connection wouldn't be... too hard. “Forget. You didn’t see a giant lizard, you did not hear anything. Replace. You came up to see Hart. It was nice. He just came back from a vacation from Aldrect.” Harutte sighed, different runes lighting up as he spoke, different runes working as he spoke. “Command. Say good night to the human before you. Go back to your apartment.”

[Redd]

As he uttered the last phrase, he exhaled, feeling himself shrinking. His field of view narrowed as he shifted into a human form, runes fading and reappearing on his chest, extra pair of limbs fading from view. Where the giant lizard once stood, was a man. He had to raise an eyebrow down at his outfit – a simple pair of shorts, a pair of sneakers and a labcoat, the only thing remaining of his Chaos form where those golden reptile eyes. He guessed, he never took the damn thing off since fleeing the fight. His golden hair, usually cut short was also tickling his shoulders. That was such a disorientating feeling.

Had it really been that long?