[zapdragon555]

Collins' face hardened at Tez's resistance, both verbal and physical, and he firmed up his hold on the man's waist as well. "I... don't worry about the jacket, yet. Take it with us. I really wanna make sure you're good, Tez, I swear I've got some ice... painkillers... I can make us ramen, or something, really, just..."

He fell silent once more at Tez's self deprecation, his explanations, and felt a burn of anger run through him. "I don't--I don't fucking care if you're a whore, prostitute, escort, whatever the fuck. You're my friend, and you are coming to my apartment. No qu-- ...no... no questions... fuck, I mean, do you..." He trailed off, the fire in his eyes fading in realization of the controlling nature of his own words. Impulsive. "...You don't have to." His grip loosened, finally, but not entirely. He kept his arm around Tez's waist, his hand coming to rest, soft, on the other man's hip. "But I really want you to. I'm not doing this out of pity, Tez. You know me better than that."

His face fell a little further as he doubted that last statement, then managed to work a smile into it, his expression earnest. "Or... at least, if you don't, lemme introduce you to Collins. He's not gonna let a friend wander around looking for a bed and food when that friend's not doing so hot." He paused, then winced, a real smile tugging his mouth as he hugged Tez a little firmer to his side. "Talking in third person is really douchey, sorry. Please believe me, man... come on."

[MythicDusk]

Tez felt his jaw clench. Felt his skin crawl and he tried to pull away from Collins as if he was burning him. "You wouldn't ask me if you were my friend, Collins. Not after tonight."

His voice was hoarse and tight as he struggled from Collins' grip, taking a deep lungful of air as if there was a vacuum around Collins. He thought Collins was iddferent. Wanted him for more than sexual favors. Maybe he had been blinded by the friendly words, by the gentle laughter and the shared meal.

Maybe he saw too much of what wasn't there.

Maybe Collins wasn't all that different after all.

The thought was enough to make his chest burn with a sob.

[zapdragon555]

A deep confusion flickered across Collins' face at Tez's answer, his throat tightening with a kind of mixed anger and anxiety. "What the fuck are you talking about, Tez?" he asked, sharp but not loud. "I am your--god, are friends just supposed to leave friends to fend for themselves in alleyways? After getting fucking physically abused?" The word stuck in his throat, as if it hurt to say, hurt to imagine the process, hurt to look at the result. To look at Tez, and that broken look on his face.

He let go when Tez struggled, not wanting to hurt the other man. He took a slow breath, thinking, but couldn't figure out what Tez was going on about. Finally, he let his hands drop, then held them up in a quiet gesture of peace. "Tez... I don't think I'm understanding you right. What..." he began, thinking carefully, then continued, "what is it you're afraid of? Afraid I'll do, I mean...?"

[MythicDusk]

Tez gasped out as if he had been struck when Collins asked the question he didn't want to answer. Surely it was obvious. Why was Collins making him say it?

He grit his teeth, furrowing his brow and taking in a shaky breath through his teeth berfore he spoke. His voice was quiet, broken. A hoarse little thing that was so full of pain. "Every act of kindness comes with a price." He rose a hand to his neck, cupping the bruise that lay in a vivid print around his throat. "I don't want to pay that price again tonight." He finally chokes out, squeezing his eyes shut and feeling tears drip from the corners of his eyes as he bowed his head.

He began to back away afterwards, taking in a gulp of air and steeling himself. "Like I said, you didn't have to come. I'll be fine. I've always been fine and I'll be fine this time, too."

A few days until the bruises fade, a daub of makeup to cover the last, some death behind the eyes and he would be fine. He was always fine. He always would be just fine.

[zapdragon555]

"A price..." Collins whispered the word under his breath, brows knitting slowly as his eyes flicked over every strained, twisted part of Tez's form. At the hand on Tez's own neck. At the bruise it covered, just barely peeking behind the gaps in his fingers. A price... what did Tez--

"Oh, christ, really?" The question was soft, not derisive. A genuine ache was visible on Collins' face, something empathetic and yet unable to fully understand the fear in Tez's heart. "No... no, Tez, like... not every act of kindness has to have a price. I--I know you... you're probably not gonna believe that right off the bat. But I don't want anything in return. Seriously. I'm doing this because I care about you, not because I want... I don't want sex, Tez," he suddenly firmed up his words, reaching out to grab Tez's shoulders--but his touch was gentle, his expression earnest as he tried to meet the other man's eyes. "I would never ask that of you. That first time... th-that's different, okay? It's how we met, but I don't expect it from you. I just like you, man, I like talking to you, I like hanging out, and I don't like seeing you in so much pain."

He stared for a few moments, then slowly lowered his hands to Tez's arms, just rubbing them up and down a half inch, slow. "Can I please help you, just for tonight? No favors. No paybacks. Just lemme cook you some ramen and get you a shower, or something. Please," he repeated the word, soft, but with an edge of true desperation.

[MythicDusk]

Something broke inside Tez's chest. Just for a second, his heart shattered and he felt another sob bubble up from his throat. He wanted to bury himself in Collins' chest, to wail until his voice was raw, to agree and agree again, no matter what price Collins would ask. Tonight or later, no matter the price.

Just for that moment of peace, for that moment of companionship without hands grabbing for more.

He found himself stepping forward. Just a half step, just enough to press his forehead against Collins' shoulder. Just enough to allow Collins to encapsulate him, to hold him just how he needed. His hands hadn't moved from his aching neck, from his sore chest. There were no other injuries, besides the scrapes on his knees and the aching in his scalp from when his hair had been twisted in brutal fingers. But every inch of him ached.

He ached to be held, to have those soft hands soothing his injuries and smoothing away his fears. Gods, he ached.

"Alright." His voice was a faint whisper, a distant sound that he could barely hear himself. He didn't realise he had said it until his voice was in the wind. "Alright, I'll go with you." He sounded tired to his own ears. Dead under his skin. Like a warm, moving corpse.

Perhaps that's all he was anymore.

[zapdragon555]

The trip from the alleyway to the car felt like an eternity, Tez's weight feeling far too heavy in his arm as he half guided, half pulled the other man along. At first the car ride was silent, but after awhile and a few exchanged words about it, Collins turned the radio onto some soft rock station on low volume.

Conversely, the car ride ended before Collins could blink. "Alright... this is me," he murmured, tone light but tired, gesturing with a finger up at the set of apartments, most of the lights off. His light was still on--he'd forgotten to turn it off, and kicked himself mentally for that. "Think you can get up the stairs alright?" he asked, looking over at Tez as he turned the car off and pocketed the key, offering a soft smile before slipping out and opening the door for Tez on the other side. "If not, I could probably, like... put you on my back, or something."

[MythicDusk]

Tez barely talked. Barely wanted to talk. He could only hear his own heartbeat in the void of sound. When Collins pulled up, he felt his heartbeat grow louder. Felt anxiety clutch around his heart. When Collins opened the door and offeret to carry him, Tez nearly had an anxiety attack right there. Instead, he let his internal voice scream until he was sure his ears were ringing.

He simply smiled at Collins.

"No, I should be alright, thank you."

His voice was clipped and curt. Less like he was thanking a friend, more like he was thanking a stranger. More like he wanted to create distance between them both. He swung his rucksack over one of his thin shoulders, taking a steadying breath as a shudder ran across his skin.

God he wanted to cry.

[zapdragon555]

Collins could tell something was up, but he was too tired and too dense, frankly, to properly guess what was going through Tez's head. "Alright. Let me know if you need help," he added, waving for Tez to follow up to the apartment. He kept his eyes on him, as secretly as he could, wanting to be ready in case Tez tried to bolt. Collins was committed, at this point.

"S'room 513," he explained, getting out his keys as he made his way up the stairs to his front landing. "Um... yeah, so, I got... I think I got some clean towels that you can totally use in the shower. And... got a couch I can fix up, easy, if you need a place to stay. Otherwise... yeah. We'll work it out later," he mused to himself, just wanting to talk, to fill the silence that now suddenly felt more uncomfortable without the radio to mask it.

[MythicDusk]

Tez simply nodded, standing to a side and following after Collins as they went inside.

When inside, Tez simply stopped. He closed the door behind him, kicked off his shoes, glad to finally be out of them, and waited. He swallowed hard, letting his body go through the motions that it always did when it came to clients. He felt his heart scream that Collins wasn't a client. Collins just cared. Collins was a good fucking man.

But his body still moved on its own. It still gently placed down the rucksack, it still kept his head low and his body as still as possible until Collins told him to do otherwise.

He supposed it was the natural thing after he had been trained so often and so hard into behaving like this.

[zapdragon555]

Collins took off his coat and made a beeline for the kitchen, getting out a pot of water to start boiling some ramen. He was feeling a little bit peckish himself, so he grabbed three packets, figuring leftovers were... acceptable, if they happened. Leftover instant ramen sure was a concept.

He got the water boiling and the noodles in the pot, and realized just how silent it was--and then realized he'd totally just left Tez hanging. "Oh!" he exclaimed, poking his head back into the main room and looking at Tez. Had he... not moved from that spot? "Hey... um, you can totally, like... sit anywhere, man," Collins offered with a soft, encouraging smile, then blinked. "Right--towel and clothes. Uh... mine might be a little big on you, but we can wash yours, so it'll be temporary. Unless... unless you just wanna put your clothes back on, like, that's... that's totally fine, too..."

Collins trailed off, wincing, knowing now that Tez apparently expected him to want... repayment, for all of this. The concept was foreign to him, asking sexual favors for basic human decency. That was the stuff of soap operas, not real life... except it was Tez's real life, apparently, and that thought made something deep in his gut twist in anger at whoever had done this to Tez. "Towel. I'm gonna go grab that," he finished with a smile, moving into a small hallway and opening a closet to grab a fluffy white towel and an old bathrobe he never used, as well. He walked back over and held them out to Tez, smiling with a small flicker of concern in his eyes. "Here you go. A shower will make you feel better--" He cut off as the stove beeped. "Oop, gotta go stir it. Here..."

[MythicDusk]

Tez nearly jumped at Collins' voice. In fact, he did, feeling the tremor run down his spine as he spoke. but the words weren't demanding, they were friendly and gentle. Offering help, not expecting repayment. The concept was foreign to him.

He carefully took the clean, soft towel in his hands, the bath robe with it. He could feel a tremor of a sob echo in his chest, but he nodded weakly when Collins said about stirring the food. The food that he was making for them both, that he was going to give him just because he was worried. Not expecting repayment, not to give Tez energy for the night to come, but just for him. Because he was Tez, because he was Collins' friend.

He managed to take three steps before the sobs broke through his teeth like a sledgehammer, cracked and raw as the tears fell down his cheeks. He didn't even know why he was crying anymore. He was just, crying.

He held the towels close, trying to muffle the heartbroken noises into the fluffy folds, to let himself cry. He cursed himself for not at least making it to the shower to cry.

[zapdragon555]

He'd given the pot a few stirs and poured in the flavor packet to let it mix with the water, when Collins heard the first sob. He stiffened, eyes widening, turning away from the stove and hurrying to the doorway to look at Tez's crumpling figure. "Oh, man," Collins breathed out, soft and aching with empathy. He'd... been expecting a cry, somewhere along the line. Collins moved towards Tez, slow, like one would approach a cornered, wounded animal. "Tez," he murmured soft in warning, before his hand touched the other man's shoulder, then squeezed it once. "Tez..."

Collins stared at the spot where Tez's face would be, if not covered by towel, and he quietly let go, and opened his arms just so. "Look at me for a second," he murmured gently, putting on a smile, though the sadness in his eyes was something palpable. "I got a hug here, if you feel like you want one." There was the smallest catch in Collins' voice, almost unnoticeable. But there was something about those bruises, the shaking of the man's shoulders, and the protective affection clawing at Collins' heart that sent tremors through his chest.

[MythicDusk]

Tez didn't even look up. He felt his arms go lax, felt the towels and gown drop to the floor, felt the plush under his feet as he buried himself into Collins' chest. As he wrapped his arms around the other man and let himself wail.

He cried out all of the hurt and pain, all of the self hatred and all the loathing for others. He let it all out into Collins' chest, he cried until his tears were dry on his cheeks and his shoulders could only muster soft trembles as he sobbed.

But he still clung to Collins. He still hung on as if his very life depended on it. With his eyes screwed shut, afraid of what he would see. Slowly, he opened his mouth, put his crackling, raw voice to use.

"Ramens prob'ly ruined."

[zapdragon555]

"There we go," the words rushed, soft, out of Collins' lungs as Tez crumpled into his arms. At last he felt like he'd done something right, felt like he'd done something to help draw this poison out of Tez, even just a tiny bit for a few moments. He held the other man tight, tighter when he found Tez wasn't going to pull away, and rubbed a hand into the crying man's shaking shoulders and upper back. "That's good... there we go..."

Somewhere in the kitchen, a timer beeped, but Collins didn't dare move. He had plenty more ramen packs. He'd used more water than he meant to, so it wouldn't burn. He held his ground and ventured, slowly, leaning a cheek on Tez's head as the man continued to cry, softer now. It seemed he was tiring himself out.

The timer shut off on its own, after a bit. Collins mumbled something encouraging, not quite a word, more a sound, as he felt those shoulders still. He smiled, blinking at a wetness in his own eyes, and hurriedly wiped it with a hand. He tensed ever so slightly when Tez spoke, not used to the sound of voices after such a prolonged period of crying. "Hm?" he mumbled, blinking, and shifted just a little to look down at the tag in the back of Tez's shirt. He smiled and shook his head, a kind of breathy laugh escaping him. "Nah... well, even so, I've ruined loads of ramen in my day. I'll cook more while you shower... if you still wanna do that," he murmured, giving Tez's back a few soft pats.