[MythicDusk]

He did want to do that. But he also wanted to just be held for a while, to feel Collins' hand on his back for a little longer. He nodded gently, making a soft sound of affirmation, but he didn't let go. "Can you just..." He breathed in tight through his teeth, worried about what he was going to say.

"Can you keep holding me? Please? Just for a few more minutes. I feel safe like this." His words were gentle and scared. He was scared.

"I havent felt safe in so long." He spoke in a breathy, gentle tone. One full of fear and hurt and heartbreak. He would understand if Collins pulled away, he was filthy down to his very bones, after all.

[zapdragon555]

Collins was quiet, waiting for Tez to finish speaking--and the simple request sent a warmth through him unlike any he'd ever felt before. Something fierce and protective bloomed in his chest, and his grip on Tez tightened just a tiny amount, his broad shoulders rounding as he held Tez close. "Of course," he mumbled, and truly, nothing else in the world mattered right then except for the task of holding together Tez's fragile pieces. "For as long as you need."

And then that admission. Collins' heart clenched around those words, pain tightening his chest. The hug firmed up, arms engulfing as much of the smaller man as Collins could, pressing the bridge of his nose and forehead into Tez's hair. "You're safe," he whispered, an audible break in his voice. "I promise, you're safe here."

[MythicDusk]

Tez hiccuped away the last of a sob, sniffling as he felt Collins' arms tighten, holding him closer, and he felt his own arms tighten around Collins, his hands bunch into fists in Collins' shirt. He felt his limbs start to shake with the emotions that were slowly leaving him, leaving him drained and tired. So, so tired.

"You wanna know something dumb?"

He felt himself give a watery laugh as he screwed his eyes shut, sniffling again.

"Ever since I first met you, every time we talked, all I could think about was how nice it would be to kiss you again." He swallowed gently, letting out a humorless huff of air. "All because you showed me a little kindness."

[zapdragon555]

Under any other circumstance upon hearing those words, Collins was certain he would've lit up like the sun. How nice it would be to kiss you again. But somehow, ever with Tez's attempts at a laugh, Collins felt it like a deep cut into his heart. Me, too, he wanted to say, wanted to force out, but it felt wrong to do so. It felt so wrong. Everything felt so damn wrong. Tez deserved a normal life, with kindness and care and no rough treatment in dark alleyways from strangers who saw him as nothing more than an object.

Collins' grip tightened impossibly more, burying his face into Tez's shoulder as he held him fiercely. "Please stay the night," was all he could force out, his voice tight and filled with an emotion he didn't dare show, for fear he'd cry himself. "I'll set up the couch, please, I just... n-need to know you're safe tonight. I need that, Tez."

[MythicDusk]

Tez felt the grip on him tighten, enough to release the iron bond around his chest that kept tightening like a vice around his lungs, making it hard to breathe, making it hard to be.

He found, even with the arms so tight around him, for the first time in years, he could breathe.

He let out the slow exhale of air, felt his shoulders relax. Maybe it was just the security of being safe for a night, with food in his belly and his skin clean. Maybe it was exhaustion after crying so hard, and for so long. Maybe it was just the security that game with having Collins' arms around him.

All the same, he felt himself slump comfortably into Collins' arms, his face buried into Collins' shoulder.

"I would like that."

His voice was hoarse, cracked from his tears. Muffled and soft.

"I would like that a whole lot."

[zapdragon555]

Collins felt Tez slacken in his arms, and almost simultaneously, he felt the pain in his own heart start to unravel. He rubbed his hand over Tez's back, slow and steady, the dampness in his eyes blinking away as Tez nuzzled into his shoulder. He smiled--beamed, practically, when Tez finally agreed. On pure, joyful impulse, he bent his head to press a kiss to Tez's hair. "I would, too. Go get clean... I'll make up the couch and fix up some more ramen. Okay?" He wouldn't move until Tez did--didn't want to stop supporting him before he could stand on his own, and really, didn't want to stop supporting him anyway. But food and rest were necessary, and he knew a shower would help Tez feel better.

After a moment, he carefully kept Tez supported on one arm, grabbing the dropped towel with a sock foot and carefully guiding it to his free hand. "Here," he chuckled, his expression warm with relief.

[MythicDusk]

Tez smiled and hummed at the soft kiss to the top of his head, a warmth lifting in his chest. He listened to Collins' words, letting them rumble through his own chest as he kept hilding on. Enjoying the warmth that Collins offered, the safety, his arms like walls, his body like the highest turrett of the greatest castle. He was safe, right here.

He gently took the towel from Collins' hand, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he thought for a second. Maybe he was being vulnerable and weak, maybe he was just an emotional mess and would regret this in a few hours time.

He also doubted that with his entire body.

"Hey, Collins?" He carefully hilted his head to look up to the other man, his arms still loosely clinging to Collins' form, his fingers tangled in Collins' shirt, not wanting him to pull away just yet.

"Would you- Can we kiss? Please?"

[Wild Pet Found]

[zapdragon555]

Collins looked up attentively when his name was uttered, his eyes hopeful for whatever question Tez might ask. To see the man responding, tears drying, agreeing to stay the night for safety's sake... it made Collins feel lighter than air, like he'd said things right for once. Talking to people was hard. Talking someone out of their own head was harder. He prayed he was some sort of comfort to Tez, somehow, and not the predator he'd felt like in the alleyway a mere hour prior.

And then, the question. Collins felt his heartbeat stop for what could've been seconds, but was probably only a fraction of one. He stared at Tez, mouth parting slightly as his eyes flicked minutia directions over Tez's face. His hands, threatening to let go, instead softened and traveled upwards, lightly resting on Tez's shoulders. He licked his lips, involuntary, and let out a soft, hushed breath. "Yeah," came the answer, breathy and gentle, already leaning in, already cupping Tez's jawline in both hands.

The last moment of hesitation came as a soft utterance of the same word, little more than a brush of air against Tez's lips. And then, he pressed in, one hand abandoning Tez's jaw to brace against his spine. Other hand slipping into Tez's hair, cradling the back of his head--for a moment, Collins was back in the alleyway. He pulled away, breathless for a moment--their lips hadn't been connected but for one second, when he spoke, hurriedly, "A-are you sure," his voice filled with a nervous worry, like Tez would bolt. "I want to--god, I want to. But... only if you're sure."

Words like those weren't normally accompanying a kiss, especially one asked for. But Collins had seen Tez's broken parts, that night, didn't know if there were more to see. Their lips were still so close, but Collins' stare was locked on Tez's too-close eyes, red from tears.

[MythicDusk]

Tez felt Collins' hands, so sure and safe. He felt a slow sigh be let free from behind his breastbone as they kissed, his shoulders sagging and his own hands moving, one coming up to gently cup Collins' neck, the other finding its way into his hair.

When Collins pulled away, Tez refused the urge to chase, kept himself steady and still. He almost laughed, a soft, breathy sound echoing from between his lips. Of course Collins would ask, would make sure. That was what Collins did.

Collins made him feel human, with agency and wants.

He couldn't help his gentle smile, couldn't help how his head tilted just slightly, into the arm that led to the hand cradling his head. His golden eyes shining with a soft sense of mirth.

"I'm sure, Collins. I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't sure." He leaned forward, pressing a soft peck to his lips, closing his eyes.

"You're the only person I've ever wanted to do this with."

His voice was soft, breathy, gentle and weak. As if his vocal chords themselves were scared of the reaction Collins would give. He flicked open his eyes, looking up to Collins with vulnerability and gentleness, something he had never shown another person.

"I want to do this with you."

[zapdragon555]

Something inside of Collins tugged in response to that almost-laugh, that huff of air so close he could feel its warmth against his own lips. Something that made his gentle grip on Tez's back firm up just a tiny bit, just a little stronger, a little more present. The hand in Tez's hair kneaded soft, brushing against scalp as Tez's head gently rolled against it. Those words set him at ease, drew an easier, relieved smile out of him, even a breathy chuckle of his own as Tez kissed him soft. His forehead brushed Tez's, eyes still closed, but the fluttered open in surprise at those next words.

The only person... Collins felt something stir in him, something that wanted to tell him this was some sort of dream. That this boy that he'd dreamt far too much about ever since they met, especially for someone called a friend and nothing more, this boy that had turned him silly with a virgin excitement in that alleyway, mouth on soft hidden skin and hands in hair... he was saying...

"D-do?" Collins whispered, his expression barely tightening with the fear of reading too far into that. Just a kiss... surely that was all. Surely... "I--"

Collins fell silent for a few moments, then slowly leaned away to look at Tez fully, still holding him with splayed fingers--they shook, now, ever so slightly, with a new kind of trembling nerve, Collins' eyes threatening to brim with dampness. "E-ever since I met you, I could never get you out of my head," he spoke the phrase that he'd run over in his mind time and time again, lying in bed, wondering how and when he'd be able to say such a thing to Tez, if ever. The ever was now, it seemed. He breathed in, shaky. "A-and I want to be there for you, as a friend, and as someone you can trust, b-but... but god if I haven't thought about kissing you again. A-and more, b-but--but it was never fully about that. I... I feel a lot of things for you, Tez." He fell silent once again, his eyes quivering as they darted over Tez's face, his shoulders, the bruise on his neck... he shut them, tight, exhaling sharp and short. "A-and if I just misread that, please, please do not hesitate to slap me."

[MythicDusk]

Tez wanted to smile delicatley at Collins' outburst. Wanted to just reach up and tilt his head, kiss him soft and careful, let all the words he couldn't express pour out between them. He wanted to be alluring, to be the person so many expected him to be. To be alluring, gentle, as brittle as diamond but as delicate as glass.

Instead, he stood. Dumbstruck.

Feel free to slap me.

Tez could do nothing of the sort.

Instead he felt tears welling up in the back of his throat. Felt the stickyness catch and make it hard to swallow, felt his airways tightening as he sniffed and heaved a breath. He was grinning, his eyes wet, he could tell. He was grinning like a fool as he closed his eyes and let the tears flow down his already damp cheeks. Gelt his eyes burn with more tears.

Carefully, gently, as if he was taking hold of an injured, scared animal, he took one of Collins' hands in his own, guiding it up to press a soft kiss to his palm, sobs still rocking through him, and he was grinning more than anything, only able to place shaky, soft, short kisses on Collins' palm.

But he hoped it was enough. He doubted his ability to talk at the moment, to even say 'Me, too'.

[zapdragon555]

Tez's grin, dazzling and achingly beautiful to Collins, was all that he could focus on for a moment. Even with the tears in his eyes, Collins could feel the happiness expanding within Tez, Collins' hands already brushing shirt fabric, pulling Tez closer.

And then he let his hand be taken, watched with a fragility in his own eyes as Tez kissed it. Collins' fingers curled, barely brushing bangs that lay against Tez's forehead, as the kiss sent a tingle of warmth down his arm and straight to his heart.

He couldn't stop himself. Collins' arms threw around Tez, pulling him into a hug as he buried his face in Tez's shoulder and laughed--truly, he laughed, but it was a joyful exhalation more than it was anything close to humor or mirth. "I'm so glad," he whispered, and for once, he wasn't afraid he'd misinterpreted anything. He'd felt it. He'd felt Tez's answer. "A-and I'm so, so happy... Tez..."

[MythicDusk]

Tez felt a wet laugh bubble from his chest, a sound that he was so unused to making as Collins wrapped him up in his arms, as he wrapped his own arms around the man, tears still staining his cheeks as he gripped on to the other man like a lifeline.

He wanted to say 'make me different', he wanted to say 'make me better'. He wanted to delete the numbers of people who used him only for sex. Of the people he used only for money. His grip tightened for a short moment, his skin prickling as he felt the vibration of his phone against his thigh, heard the tinkling song of one of his 'clients'.

"Ignore it. Just. Just ignore it." His words were weak, he didn't want to go back to his reality, not yet. He wanted to stay here, just for another hour, another five minutes. Just to stay enveloped in this warmth.

[zapdragon555]

The vibrating phone was something Collins could feel where he pressed close to Tez, and it startled him enough to barely loosen his grip. He only tightened it when Tez whispered, almost seemed to beg him to ignore it. And so he did, instead pressing slow kiss after slow, lingering kiss to the side of Tez's head, daring only to stray closer to the area where neck met jawline once, perhaps twice. "Ignored," he chuckled, softly, his hand sliding down Tez's back to pull him into a more full hug, then leaned away after a few minutes of silence had followed the phone's vibrations.

"I'm gonna get some food in that belly of yours if it's the last thing I do, Tez," he said, a grin plastered on his face, very much in love and very much looking like he, too, could stay there for much longer. But he needed to get the old ramen off the stove (or check its viability) and he needed to corral Tez into the shower. "If you go ahead and hop in the shower, I'll bring you some clothes, yeah? If you don't mind smelling like me for the night," he joked, rubbing Tez's arms in his hands.

[MythicDusk]

Tez hummed with delight at the mention of food, his own smile soft on his striped face. "Yeah, I should shower. I probably smell like three day old sweat." He snorted to himself, beginning to pull away.

"I would love to smell of you for the night." He purred, his eyelids hanging low as he gave a flirtatious grin. With that, he turned away with a laugh. A soft sound in the back of his chest as he tucked the towels under his arm and walked to the shower, humming a soft tone to himself.

When he got into the bathroom and closed the door behind himself, he let himself give a trembling breath, touching his fingertips to his burning cheeks, grinning like a giddy schoolboy. He wondered, for a moment, if he was too forward. He would like to do certain things with Collins. Not as repayment, but simply because he wanted to.

For a moment, he wondered if his hormones and mental state were solid enough to allow it before he sighed and shrugged off the question, followed by his clothes as he played with the temperature of the shower, waiting for the correct temperature and stepping in, letting the warm spray hit his chest and relax his small shoulders.

He carefully turned his striped back to the spray, letting all his skin get used to the warmth, his brow furrowed in thought. He didn't know why he was thinking so hard about this. There was no saying that Collins was even interested.