[Dawnhawk]

Hullo. This is me trying to get the characters of these two to work... It would help if the Kamo was grown up. Shall we pretend? ;A;

This is going to be outrageously long. Can you cope? Are you worth it?
Let's find out.

One... Two... Three.

Kajva was lucky enough to be born in the Slums. Why is that lucky, you ask? Because at least he isn't looked at like he is some alien beast masquerading as someone who's supposed to be here.
Yeah, isn't my life just peachy?
But if I didn't protect him... I would be betraying the only memory I have left of my parents.

They were beautiful, you know, considering that our house was only a few streets away from the dirty slum. We tried to keep it neat and tidy so that no impure ideas would disrupt the growth of the kits that were always visiting. My parents' physical beauty went hand-in-hand with that of their home, and it was something that I couldn't get enough of. I only had one question.
Why couldn't I  be like them?

Never in my life, not even once, has someone called me 'beautiful'. Not even 'pretty'. I mean, look at me! I am an ugly child! Thanks to  superior education and wonderful support from those unearthily gorgeous parents, I don't even know if I am a male or a female. My name is ambiguous. My voice is ambiguous. Hell, even my body is ambiguous. There is no indicator in my face, eyes or pelt of a definite gender.

Wait, what? I'm supposed to look where to figure it out? Oh, really, I'm the dense one?!
Ahh, no, you're mistaken. Inconspicuous pieces of flesh like the one you're talking about aren't gonna help me out in the least. You're just lucky I'm in a good mood today. We haven't had too much trouble for the past few days, only a couple run-ins with murderers and thugs.

Really? You're going to ask what creeps like them would want with two young Kuhnas? Don't you want to know what my last memory of my family is? Ah, well, I should've known. You're just like the rest of them. You come in, looking sincere, but underneath that sweet face is the heart of the devil. You all want the same things out of us. You want to kill us without damaging our bodies so that you can sell our pelts and use the rest as beef jerky.
I knew it. Your whole race could've been brought up by the same ruthless killer, as far as us Slum Kuhnas are concerned.
You might all be bloodthirsty and heartless, but you're all stupid. At least, that's what I've come to understand.

I am Siste, and in order to survive here, I may have to become a cannibal.

[Dawnhawk]

Just so you know, if this sinks, the pets will be replaced by others. Heck, the whole posts are probably going to change. I'm going to reuse them instead of losing 3 Ks for every one I delete, so just be patient with my OCD.

Believe it or not, it all started when I saw my face for the first time.

Yes, I really am that vain, but you would be, too, if everyone else that had the same body structure as you was coveted for their looks.
Nobody covets me, not really. I know that every single hunter who happens along is only after Kajva's pretty white pelt, and that I'm just a little bonus if they happen to bag us. I am the bodyguard of a Kamo, even though that sounds ridiculous. If you think about it, our positions fit into the classic storybook runaway perfectly.

The princess is locked up in the highest tower of her father's castle. Naturally, nobody would stuff a pretty thing down in the dungeon, so they throw her up high where the Paragons and things with wings can get her. But oh no, oh no, we can't just leave her up there! Let's stick a larger, older, uglier brute there with her to scare away all of the naughty things that would otherwise snatch her up~

Kajva is my fetching young prince who is, of course, oblivious to the evil "Paragons" and thinks that every dastardly deed committed against him is a silly little game. I am the cute-as-a-scaly-rear protector whose job it is to protect the attractive little one.
I've just said the same thing three times in a row. Are you ready yet, or did you take too many pills this morning to load your gun straight?

[Dawnhawk]

This Kuhna is very dense, don't you think? I'm being distracted right now. I have to pee, I'm hungry, and I'm worrying (question mark) about the egg points and prizes. x3e /rant

How much do you usually pay for a real fur coat? 1000 Ks? 10000 if it's luxurious? Alright, so maybe you won't want to admit anything like that where the authorities can hear, but I will bet my life that, if you've hung out in the Slums for a day or two, some shady character has come up and asked you if you'd be interested in a cloak made from only the fur of Ailur Kuhnas.
The colors of my fur are similar to those of an Ailur, only mine looks like someone scuffed their muddy shoes off onto some black cotton, while Ailurs look like gradient painted by exquisite, lolita-wannabe gods.

Do you get my point? Is your gun pointed the other way?

Well, even if it's not, you won't walk out of this town with more than 500 Ks extra weighing down your pocket.
Why?
Because I will eat Kajva if you shoot me, and no, you're not hallucinating.

[Dawnhawk]

Well, I feel better now, and these posts are easy to get out, even though they are queer and rather roundabout. I feel like I'm beating around the bush, but maybe this one will sort things out?

Did you know that I would do anything for Kajva?

Oh, no, I would go much farther than just dying for him. I would sell my soul and still be back to keep him safe. I would cut off all of my legs with child's scissors and still walk across all of Evelon. Hell, I would even give up everything that had ever mattered to me in life, if that would somehow give me the key to staying here with him, and protecting him from every sin and impurity this dysfunctional world has to offer.
And, yes, that does include the likes of you.

Didn't I just get done saying that I would EAT him before I let someone like you ruin the perfect sanctity that his pure little soul provides?!!

[Dawnhawk]

I've decided that the more events and such are on this site, the more swamped our wonderful mods get and the more we adore them. I'm just letting you know, because this seems to have become my talk-to-myself-on-the-off-chance-anyone-ever-reads-this thread. -dead-

"What is Kajva like?" Did you seriously just say that to me? Do you have any IDEA how dangerous this could get for you, now? For all you know, I am loved by thousands of brawny thugs that would come and rip you limb from limb if I so much as raised my paw! Well, we both understand perfectly that no such thing is going to happen, BUT you'd better watch your mouth, just the same.

You aren't good enough to have the privilege of knowing ANYTHING about Kajva other than the fact that he is a Kamo Kuhna. And if you didn't already know that, I will personally see to it that you know what the inside of your intestines looks like, so nod your head and smile like a good little murderer who isn't planning on stalking my angel while you sharpen a blade made from your own femur.
Who? What? No, nonono, I didn't just insult anything of yours, but I am pleasantly surprised that you have the guts to stay here for so long...

[Dawnhawk]

Oh no, it's time for me to draw this out and suppress the ending I just thought of.

I guess that you don't want to know anything about my parents. You don't care who I am, because I can't make you a pretty penny like the stupid ones who aren't fast enough to avoid capture by something that runs clumsily on two legs. And, above all, you don't want to kill me. If you kill me, you'll never find out where the heavenly Kajva is, haha!
No, you idiot, he hasn't been experimented on. What would I want with a mindless marionette of a deathtrapped foot soldier? Why would I bother protecting something that has already gone so deep into physical denial?
Ooh, don't you know that I am getting paid for every sentence...?

Huh. I guess you're right, for once. I get nothing but a few more heartbeats for this miserable slop. Heheh. Aha. Aha-HA! Heehee, tehahah, heehee HAH! That's good. I haven't felt like this since right now, when I licked this stuff off of my paw. What is it? Don't you want to know, doesn't your ignorance of my organic ecstasy just make your skin crawl?

I'd let you taste it, but it's all for me. Keheh-heh.

[Dawnhawk]

Ideas~~~!

How about we make a deal. If you listen to my last memory of my parents, I'll let you have a lick of my special happy juice.

It's not as disgusting as the name makes it sound, I promise yooooooooou. Just lick it. If there's dirt on there, that's good. Helps the immune system. And maybe you'll grow some fur. You look cold.

..Is it hot in here?

Don't get sidetracked! Listen to me!



...butterflies~.

[Dawnhawk]

Infant Kuhnas look like they're in horrible pain, but I love their cute little feet. <3 (My favorite used to be Ginger... or was it Slate? But now it might be Albino, or whatever baby Kamos are. I'm confused, my fingers are moving so fast that I'm forgetting which letter has to go next.)

My last memory of those beautiful things is from a very long time ago.. Err, maybe it hasn't been as long as it seems. I don't know. Ask a frickin' orderly on your way out, or something.
Whatwho? Orderly? Those fat men in dresses? What are they called? Scratches? Sponges?

...

Oooh. I like his scrubs. They're blue, like this stuff~

No, I'm telling you that my blue is better than his! Look and see! It's right here, on my-

What the hell did you do to my lifeblood!?! It was the last thing I had to remind me of Kajva! My parents, those nasty, filthy swine who always looked so much more perfect than I could even dream of being, they left me here, they took him away! They said, Oh, no, nono way, Siste cannot be trusted to be arounnd something so perfect! It'll be defiled! Ruined! Ahahah! And that is what they said!
"But ooh, ooh, they would never expect my next move! Aheh! See, if they had expected it, then they wouldn't have brought me here, now, would they?! A-he-heh-HEH!!

Ooh, that felt good. The shots, the shots~ I was getting too worked up. Thank the pretty orderly, ooh, what an ugly face. Tell him not to make that face. He's ruining it, ruining my new happy juice with his face.

Okay, I can't sit on my new little bee sting, but I can try and tell you what happened before that cool happy juice gets to my brains. Aah, ahh~, it's cold in my veins. It's Alaskan ocean. Where is Alaska? I've never heard of it...

You didn't tell me that I forgot to say hello. That wasn't nice. Now you have to hear it now, so listen.

My name is Siste, and I am the only cannibalistic Trikuhna ever admitted to the asylum here in the Slums. It's nice to see you, little murderer~

[Dawnhawk]

Okay, okay, I wasn't sent here by somebody's stupid beautiful parents. I sent myself. I have no parents. I tell myself what to do. Parents don't give a damn, woo hoo, I could care less, I don't know them. Too beautiful, too beautiful, I only know the ugly ones and Kajva, isn't that right, Mr. Orderly~? Do you remember where I told you that all of the other pretty ones went?

Ooh, yes, very good, that's right! I ate them~ They make me pretty now~

Yes, thank you, thank you, that jolly cold sauce did make me feel rather pretty~

Do YOU remember what I was saying before? Those people that thought they were responsible for my creation, they kept me in a peaceful environment filled with clean, beautiful kittens who had clean, beautiful thoughts in a clean, beautiful house on a clean, beautiful street just outside of the clean, beautiful slum.
Whatwho? No, of course that makes sense~! Woooh, head rush...

I thought to myself there: Why am I not clean and beautiful? These clean and beautiful things have all the fun... And then I was hungry. So I say to myself, why not have a snack? If you are what you eat, if I eat some of these clean, beautiful things, then I will be clean and beautiful!

So I tried it. I ate a few of them. They sang to me as I ate them, but they all had such screechy soprano voices! Some of them started singing before I could even bite off their feet, so I did them next. Pop! Into the mouth, no more hind legs. They made my hind legs beautiful while I was eating them, but when I was done, I was ugly again. It was sad. And then I thought, keep the faces for last if you want a pretty face!

And I did it. I kept their faces. It was cute. Clean and beautiful. I don't know how I did it without leaving a bunch of teeth marks, but I did. I only wished that they would open their eyes, because I wanted to look and see who had the cleanest, most beautiful eyes.

It was only very sad when they stopped singing. Even though they were not very good, it made things quiet, and I like music now, don't I, Mr. Orderly?

Kajva looked at me. He was the only one, and I said to him, why aren't you pretty~! And so I kept him.

And you know what? I wish that my blood is as pretty as his now! His is blue, like my happy sauce, isn't it Mr. Orderly~? And don't I never like to share the blue things, Mr. Orderly~?

[Dawnhawk]

You still don't understand? Was my way of thinking too far outside of the box? Too surprising? I apologize for any confusion, but the blame is squarely on the shoulders of that vein-numbing happ...y juicy... j... uice...

Mmmhm? Whatwho? What happened to Kajva?

Oh, him. My only lovely, the green-eyed lovely who was the prettiest of them all.

I drained out all of his blood, but they let me keep the rest of him. Would you like to see?

If you don't mind the formaldehyde, I'm sure he's still pretty~