The slums are a rundown, old heap of a town tucked deep in the jungles, with townsfolk consisting mostly of poachers, black marketeers, thieves, and fugitives. While the ideal tourist spot, some travel to the Slums to make use of the black markets. (+2 Defense, +2 Speed)

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Morbidly Amusing [P, Elektra] PG-13

Postby Mousen » 03/15/2011 12:13 PM

People were always quieter when they passed the undertakers. Even the loudest of people were suddenly more subdued, they'd cast one glance at the weathered sign that belonged to 'Fitzwick & Sons, Funeral Directors' and move along hurriedly as if expecting to come to face to with one of Mr. Fitzwick's customers. The truth was, the original Mr. Fitzwick had been dead sometime and his son had now taken over the business. Cedric Fitzwick was the only one who'd take on his father's business, his other family members wouldn't even go near the place, let alone work in it.

Very few people wanted to work with the dead, plenty of people were scared by it- with good reason. Where there was death there was usually disease, where there was disease there was usually more death. People liked to avoid dying, it was human nature. Besides, when you could earn more money as a thief why risk the red plague in the first place? Or any kind of disease for that matter. Everyone knew the dangers of bad air, it spread disease. Goodness knows how dangerous it was working at a funeral directors! Only a fool would dare.

That was where Lance Campbell and Henrietta Spinner came in.

It was a cold day, with a wind that blew tiles of rooves and grabbed hats from heads, sending them spiralling into the air. Everyone who could had retreated indoors, most people, however were filing into the filthy streets, dodging the occasional roof tile and trying to avoid the pickpockets that swarmed like flies throughout the city. While the rich could avoid working on days like today, the poor had to suffer in the blustery weather. There was always so much noise here, from the rattling of horse pulled carts to the constant sound of voices. No one was silent, one voice indistinguishable from the next. There was nothing too unusual among the cobbled streets, in fact it was a perfectly average day. One might see the odd priest mixed in with the bakers and black smiths. Those with the disreputable professions stuck to the shadows, waiting for night to fall.

The previous winter had been hard for everyone, many had died from it. Lack of warmth and quick spreading disease had hit the poorest folk, but you couldn't say the rich hadn't suffered too. The employees of the funeral directors still bore the signs of overwork, even if it was only slightly. It was almost surprising how many old rickety bigwigs had keeled over due to the harsher whether. There had been one point in time where they'd almost run out of space to put the dead. It was  hideously amusing looking back on it. If there was one thing you had to have in a job like that, it was a sense of humor. One risks madness otherwise.

"Oi, Henry! D'you think ol' Fitzwick will really dock our pay if we're late again? It ain't like I 'aven't got a rent t' pay." Lance sighed, stopping to let his co-worker catch up with him. He'd had to set off later than usual, his sister Deirdre made him stop for an 'urgent' tarot card reading. Half the time she let the act she put on go to her head, though there was truth behind her overly dramatic show. He did have to doubt that her talk of 'strangers' was anything but her cooking fumes going to her head.
"Nah, we needs us. Who else is going t' actually do the work while he slacks off?" Henry replied laughing. "But, I'd rather not find out. Last one there gets their pay 'alved!" With that she dodged between a couple of important looking women before disappearing around the corner. Sighing, Lance ran after her.

A street or so later the young man came to a halt, stopping for breath. He'd never been much of a runner. Henrietta had to be around here somewhere, after all, it wasn't like she'd purposely leave him behind. A pair of brown eyes watched him, peaking from behind a wall, her curly blond hair was wind blown and held in place with a particularly ragged flat-cap. Henrietta was a good few inches shorter than her co-worker, with twice the energy any normal human being should have. Lance on the the other hand was rather tall, with something of a beanpole physique and short mud-brown hair.

"Hurry up, would you? We'll be 'ere all day."


((Ick. Tried to work on my writing style here, I don't think it worked. XD; Sorry for the wait, anyhow. <33 Click pet image for human form. <3))


We’re all hysterical & going nowhere together.

C’mon rapture. Let’s go bedazzling.

Nothing gets futured without its own spitshine
& I’m already not not not not not not miraculous.


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Re: Morbidly Amusing [P, Elektra]

Postby Elektra » 03/22/2011 7:00 PM


Drip, drip, drip...  The sound of the moisture falling from the tunnel's ceilings ran in Elektra's ears.  In her hands there was a medium sized box with quilts folded in laid in it.  Her three tails swayed gently in unison as she walked down the wet concrete tunnel, occasionally splashing because of a puddle she didn't seem in time to avoid.  The first thing I need to do once everyone is settled in is get some of the guys and see about some lighting before one of the younglings falls into one of the side tunnels...  She couldn't help but wonder if dropping most of the occupants and moving to a whole new home was really right.  She was the alpha, you could say, among everyone that was currently residing in the Slums storm drainage system, but although it meant she was the one in charge, it also meant she was responsible for whatever was to happen after even the smallest descision she made.  And so far, it seemed that everything she chose to do was wrong in someone's eyes.  She knocked on the three foot door to the Kuhna's rooms, and set the blankets down.  She started down the west tunnels, heading toward the exit.  As she climbed the stairs, she spotted a food stant.  Licking her lips, she pulled her hood up over her long black hair, and blended in with the crowd, slowly edging toward the stand.  Once she was near, she abruptly turned around, and began walking away just as one tail flicked out and grabbed a small piece of cake.  Before anyone could even notice, she was off, and halfway through the cake.  She sat against a wall in a nearby alley and rested for a few minutes before going out again in fear that they might have noticed they were short and started trying to figure out what had happened.  An odd smell hit her nose as she breathed in before getting up, and she wondered what it was.  It was the smell of death, or decay at least.  Wrinkling her nose, she rose up, figuring she'd waited long enough, and started for the streets again.


(Human Form, though I currently have no reference)


If you knew knew what the bluebirds sang at you
You would never sing along
Cast them out cause this is our culture
These new flocks are nothing but vultures

Because they took our love and they filled it up
Filled it up with Novocaine and now Im just numb
And don't mind me, Im just a son of a gun
So dont stop, dont stop until your heart goes numb
I dont feel a thing for you

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Re: Morbidly Amusing [P, Elektra]

Postby Mousen » 03/22/2011 8:31 PM

"...Very funny, Henry." Lance muttered, clearly distracted. As he spoke his eyes were fixed on a figure in the crowd. Where'd she come from, anyway? It seemed as if she'd just appeared from nowhere, he must have been imagine things... Yes, that was it. It wasn't like he even knew a quarter of the people living here, it was entirely possibly she'd just ran from one of the side streets, why, people were probably wondering the same thing about him and Henry, come to think of it. There was no real reason to suddenly be so suspicious, after all. He was getting paranoid, it must be spending all that time listening to Hatch's old war stories.

Halloa! What was that, then? He'd always had sharp eyes, despite the dismal lighting of his working conditions the young fellow had keen vision, and he hadn't missed that trick. "Did you see that?" He asked his college quietly, though it seemed Henrietta was paying him little attention. "You've bin' starin' at a girl, and you couldn't even see 'er face! She could be perfectly hideous and you wouldn't even know. Why, if I didn't know any better, Mr.Campden, I'd say that you were completely and incomprehensibly desperate for a girl." Looking past the playful tone, there was something distinctly colder about her. One might have wondered if there was a slightly jealous streak to the happy girl's nature, around Cole, atleast.

"What? I'm pretty certain she's a thief, 'Enry." He tilted his head to the side, indicating the direction in which he thought the pretty pickpocket had gone. Normally he wouldn't kick up such a fuss, but it seemed that he'd better with Henry on his case. "See?"

"Oh." Henry replied, somewhat sheepishly, her head peaking around the wall. "But whatcha goin' t' do now? Turn 'er in? They're all pickpockets down 'ere! Why, the police probably double as pickpockets 'emselves!" She whispered, laughing quietly. "I don't think there's 'out we can do, Lance."

Lance shook his head and started walking, very decidedly towards the girl. She seemed a little younger than them, but he couldn't be sure. Before she could run, he placed a hand on her shoulder, though if she was intent on getting away, Lance wouldn't be much of a barrier. "'Ello, if I were you, I'd take a little bit more care. While most o' the population is completely unobservant, you get the odd one that takes a bit more notice. For 'eavens sake, one o' these days, your lucks goin' t' run short. Where are you gonna be then? Go do yourself a favour and find a job, a respectable job."

"'Ate t' interrupt, but, old Fitzy keeps moanin' about needing a good message boy (or girl) with, er, 'decorum and class', since you'd be doin' bits of advertisin' and goin' 'ere and there, doin' everything lazy Cedric's s'posed to be doin'." Henrietta paused for breath. "I just 'ope you ain't opposed t' the dead. Since we work at a Funeral Directors, an' all." It was odd for her to suddenly suggest such a thing, perhaps she was just bored of having to act secretary, that and no one had applied for the job. Desperate times called for inviting possibly illiterate, possibly flea infested street urchins into working for a funeral directors, apparently.


(( Fail. XD Couldn't think of anything else. XP; Also, if you need me to ever translate my characters for you, just ask. XD Silly accents. x3 <3))


We’re all hysterical & going nowhere together.

C’mon rapture. Let’s go bedazzling.

Nothing gets futured without its own spitshine
& I’m already not not not not not not miraculous.


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Re: Morbidly Amusing [P, Elektra]

Postby Elektra » 03/23/2011 5:29 PM

As she was walking out, Elektra felt a firm hand clamp down on her shoulder.  She whirled around, and found herself facing a man that seemed to tower before her, though she was a decently sized human herself.  Yet, he didn't really seem like he would be that much trouble if she tried to get away; he didn't seem to have much muscle to him, and he certainly didn't speak like someone who would fight a guy, much less a young woman younger than himself.  Of course, that would be his problem in the long run.  "An undertaker lecturing a thief?  Well, I must say that this is a first for me.  But I think you and I both know that I could easily take you out and be off with anything in your pockets before you or your friend could do anything about it."  She tried to keep an even voice, though it did waver once or twice.  

When the second woman spoke, Elektra couldn't help but chuckle.  "Me?  Work for an undertaker's business?  Yeah right...  Now, if you'll excuse me..."


If you knew knew what the bluebirds sang at you
You would never sing along
Cast them out cause this is our culture
These new flocks are nothing but vultures

Because they took our love and they filled it up
Filled it up with Novocaine and now Im just numb
And don't mind me, Im just a son of a gun
So dont stop, dont stop until your heart goes numb
I dont feel a thing for you

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Re: Morbidly Amusing [P, Elektra]

Postby Mousen » 03/23/2011 6:59 PM

He had to go and pick a bone with the most sarcastic  pickpocket here, didn't he? Not that either of them seemed to have time to debate, Lance was beginning to wish he just hadn't said anything. "There's nout wrong with bein' an undertaker. It's a perfectly respectable job, which provides me with the wherewithal to pay me rent. Not only that, dead people are much quieter than the living." Despite Lance's efforts, he still sounded a tad miffed. "Well, you could do that. Aside from the fact neither of us actually have anything in our pockets. The only thing I've got is a ha' penny watch me sister made me." Actually it was a rather fine watch, because Alanna was an exceptional watch restorer. She had trouble making something from scratch, but she still remained very good at fixing up the scrap metal she was given.

Henry sighed, she'd just about had enough of having to run backwards and forwards between businesses and banks, doing whatever little job Cedric Fitzwick asked her to do. "Think about it for a moment. You ain't actually goin' near the dead, you're just carrying the flowers about, or carryin' messages 'ere and there. Ol' Cedric's bin lookin' for someone for almost three months now. I think there could be a deal done there." Henrietta began to turn away slightly. "It's not as if the hours aren't good, why, you must have someone you have t' look after? Why, a little stability wouldn't hurt them, would it? I mean, you could always call it quits, if you didn't take a likin' to the job."


We’re all hysterical & going nowhere together.

C’mon rapture. Let’s go bedazzling.

Nothing gets futured without its own spitshine
& I’m already not not not not not not miraculous.


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Re: Morbidly Amusing [P, Elektra]

Postby Elektra » 03/23/2011 9:10 PM

"Flowers?  Do I look like someone who should be carrying flowers of all things?"  Raising one skeptecal eyebrow at the woman, she turned back to the man who had first stopped her.  "So how did you notice that trick?" she asked, remembering why he'd found her in the first place.  Before that moment, she's never actually gotten caught in the act before, so knowing how she'd messed up would help in the future, depending on whether or not she actually bothered giving this job thing a try.  

Of course, when they mentioned pay, thoughts of how the new tunnels and rooms would need to be furnished, the oil it would take to keep them lit, the food that they would need, even though there weren't more than twenty or so people...  Money would be helpful, and she could always quit.  "Lemme go and grab a bag I've got, you can come along if you'd like, but you might get a bit wet..."  And with that, she actually pushed past the two and headed toward the tunnels' entrance.


If you knew knew what the bluebirds sang at you
You would never sing along
Cast them out cause this is our culture
These new flocks are nothing but vultures

Because they took our love and they filled it up
Filled it up with Novocaine and now Im just numb
And don't mind me, Im just a son of a gun
So dont stop, dont stop until your heart goes numb
I dont feel a thing for you

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Re: Morbidly Amusing [P, Elektra]

Postby Mousen » 03/25/2011 5:26 PM

Henrietta shrugged, a sheepish smile on her face. "Well, there's cremation urns if you're not t' keen on the flowers?" she suggested. Judging from the look on the young woman's face, she was anything but serious. Cremation urns weren't likely to be a very convincing way to get the thief to take the job now. What were they even doing? Were they so desperate as to try and hire a thief to work at the funeral directors? Would they really stoop so low as to drag a possibly illiterate street urchin off the road and try to make it look like a well educated young woman?

Yes, yes they were.

"The trick? Luck, I guess. I'd been lookin' in your general direction when you suddenly appeared from nowhere, so I wondered what you were up to and just caught you out the corner o' me eye." It had just been unfortunate luck for the pickpocket that he'd happened to catch sight of her. Well, it seemed that Henrietta's early words had some effect, she even seemed to be considering it. Lance was thankful, but, were they going to wish they hadn't said anything in a few hours time?

They both watched her push past them, both Lance and Henry wearing the same slightly startled expression. After a moment or two they looked at each other and followed her into the tunnel. "Cedric's going to kill us. I knew we were going to be late." Henry moaned, wincing as she felt something cold and damp seep into her boots. Lance on the other hand was more worried about their potential employee. "Say, Miss...? You can write, right?" He asked, his voice echoing down the tunnel. The tunnel itself was dark, and rather slippy underfoot. Moisture dripped down the walls and slime covered the finger's of those who tried to grip onto it's walls. What had they gotten themselves into?

((Fail. x3; <33))


We’re all hysterical & going nowhere together.

C’mon rapture. Let’s go bedazzling.

Nothing gets futured without its own spitshine
& I’m already not not not not not not miraculous.


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Re: Morbidly Amusing [P, Elektra]

Postby Elektra » 03/25/2011 7:10 PM

"Can I write?"  Elektra kept walking, though she was a bit insulted.  "Of course I can you dimwit.  I might be a thief, but I happen to be a thief who is quite well off.  I actually found this place and have at least fifteen others that I house.  I simply don't like being around in one of those cramped old zoo pens.  I do have a human that I've bonded to, but I'm more her mother than anything.  I picked her up a while back, she's not actually that old, or, well, she not exactly hum-"  Just then something sprinted through the watery tunnels, actually speeding onto a wall, and landing on Elektra's back, just avoiding the her sharp, glistening wingblades, for she had reverted back to her Lucain form once she was back.  "Hello Arya..." she said gently.  "Heya mommy!" the little girl said, pushing her hair back behind her ears.  That was one thing that convinced Elektra to raise her.  She wasn't actually human, no, she was an elf girl.  "Hun, how many times must I tell ya?  I'm not your mom.  I'm not even eighteen yet."  This comment didn't seem to faze her though, as she still smiled, and hopped off, her short attention span not allowing her to really keep interest in Elektra's return, even if she did have others with her, which was almost unheard off.  She sprinted off with inhuman speed, and it still amazed her that the little elf didn't slip on the slippery concrete.  She shook her head, and continued on.  She took a sharp left, and kicked open a large door.  There was a mattress in a niche with a pillow there, and a hanging board to act as a desk, but that was about it, aside from a small shoulder back that hung on the door knob.  Grabbing it, she nodded, signaling the other two that she was ready to try whatever they had in mind.


If you knew knew what the bluebirds sang at you
You would never sing along
Cast them out cause this is our culture
These new flocks are nothing but vultures

Because they took our love and they filled it up
Filled it up with Novocaine and now Im just numb
And don't mind me, Im just a son of a gun
So dont stop, dont stop until your heart goes numb
I dont feel a thing for you

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Re: Morbidly Amusing [P, Elektra]

Postby Mousen » 03/27/2011 12:33 PM

[color=#808040"Oh, sorry."[/color] Lance apologized hurriedly. "It's just that alot o' folk don't know 'ow t' write around 'ere. I mean, Henry couldn't write when I first met 'er." It was lucky he and Henrietta were so close, otherwise, he'd probably have been spitting out teeth at that point. Luckily, Henry just gave her co-worker a rather sharp jab in the ribs. "What was that for?!" He exclaimed, slipping into the wall. Before she could reply, a small girl entered the tunnel. Both of the undertaker's watched both the girl and Elektra with some interest. As she left, Henry turned towards the lucain. "I take it that she's an orphan? Seems an odd place for a child to be..." It was probably best if she didn't say anymore. Henry was sure she was trying her best, even if her best was a little unconventional.

"We'd better hurry, Old Fitzwick weren't impressed last time we were late." Lance began to make his way out of the tunnel, Henrietta following close behind. It was a few minutes later that they found themselves blinking in the sunshine outside of the tunnel. "Well, the funeral directors is just a few streets west, it isn't far." Henrietta waved,  signalling that the pickpocket should follow them.

"Oh, we musta forgot t' introduce ourselves. I'm Henrietta Spinner, but I prefer Henry, and  my useless friend over 'ere is Lance Campbell." With that, she pointed up at a sign which read 'Fitzwick & Sons Funeral Directors' and she pushed open the door.

(( Failyfailfail post. x3;; <3))


We’re all hysterical & going nowhere together.

C’mon rapture. Let’s go bedazzling.

Nothing gets futured without its own spitshine
& I’m already not not not not not not miraculous.


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Re: Morbidly Amusing [P, Elektra]

Postby Elektra » 03/29/2011 9:33 PM

Wait, Fitzwick?  Why does that sound familiar...  She thought to herself.  Walking in, she kept herself on alert, not sure why she felt so uneasy around the new place.  It wasn't like she'd been there before, right?  Looking around, she saw different pots, and caskets along the walls and sitting on shelves.  There was that smell that one could expect when around such a business, but the foreknowledge didn't really make it any better.  As her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she saw more details of the place, and realized why she was so uneasy.  Crap crap crap!  she just about sang in her head.  He's the old loon who was trying to hit me on the head for stealing half of his inventory...  What I am even doing here now?  Looking at the other two, she wondered if they knew anything about that one incident, and what they would do if they figured out it was her.  

"So where is the old loo- I mean, man - anyway?  I don't wanna start a job without knowing who exactly I'm working for."






(Figured I might be able to stir it up a bit like that if it's okay with ya.  ^^ -brick'd-

Sorry about the short fail post though, not sure what exactly to do until ya post again.  xD;)


If you knew knew what the bluebirds sang at you
You would never sing along
Cast them out cause this is our culture
These new flocks are nothing but vultures

Because they took our love and they filled it up
Filled it up with Novocaine and now Im just numb
And don't mind me, Im just a son of a gun
So dont stop, dont stop until your heart goes numb
I dont feel a thing for you

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Re: Morbidly Amusing [P, Elektra]

Postby Mousen » 05/31/2011 5:27 PM

"Fitzy? 'E's probably waitin' for us in the back room, glarin' at 'is watch." Henry laughed, shaking her head. "It wouldn't be the first time, eitha, you should see 'im when 'e get's mad, yellin' and flappin' about like a seagull or sommat." Little did the woman know, Elektra had seen Fitzwick mad.

"Yeah, 'e'll be complain' this mornin', no doubt. We're a full five minutes late, he's probably going to 'ang us and stuff us in one o' the coffins and ship us down t' the mortuary!" Lance too was laughing, waiting for there slightly hard of hearing boss to walk through into the entrance room.

"You two! You two are some of the most tardy, inconsiderate people I've had to work with! You're lucky to be hired anywhere at all." Fitzwick was a rather small man, with watery pale blue and a bald patch, the hair he did have was a mucky looking grey-ishy blonde.  He spoke with a rather loud voice, as if to make up for his size, though the real reason  because he was going slightly deaf in his left ear, but he disliked telling anyone about that. The tweed suit he wore was was discoloured as the rest of him, it had gone a sort of mouldy-green colour, apparently it had once been yellow. Lance didn't believe that, the thought of Mr. Fitzwick wearing anything colourful was just too unbelievable. He looked down at Elektra through tiny pince-nez perched on the end of his nose. "And what did my alley cats drag in this morning?" He asked, for whatever reason, he didn't seemed to recognize the girl... Better not jog his memory.

Oh! A chance to lie! In her opinion, Henry was an exceptional liar."Well, Mr. Fitzwick, we found this 'ere street urchin down by some drains. Family dead, an' with a little sister too. She'll catch 'er death if-"
"Spare me the waterworks Henry, I don't need another heart wrenching sob story today."
"So you'll 'ire 'er then?"
"What? I didn't say that!"
"But she can write an' everythin'! You said we needed an errand girl."
Cedric Fitzwick's gaze softened slightly. "Oh, allright then," As an after thought he added. "But don't think this will excuse your lateness, if this had been high summer all manner of flies would be in the shop. We don't want maggots before we put the bloody corpses into the ground!"
Henry and Lance winced, high summer was the worst time for them. The minute things started to warm up they had to work double time, they all prayed for a cold, rainy summer.

Though, there was something off about Mr. Fitzwick today, he hadn't threatened to dock their pay, or even yelled at them for a substantial amount of time. He was a good guy, really, there was a heart behind all that bluster, he just didn't like to acknowledge it. With a sigh he sat down in one of the spindly wooden chairs that littered the entrance room. "The Appleby's lost their son."
"Oh."
"Oh."
People died everyday, believe it or not, there were actually cheerful days at the undertakers. A few elderly people here and there, sometimes Lance's psychic sister would drop by and they'd talk to the ghosts for a bit, mess around with the Ouija board inbetween doing their job. But when a child died, they were all silent.

"So, you still want the job, kid?" Fitzwick asked harshly, turning to look at her.

(( I'm going to put a PG-13 tag on this, just in case. <3 And if you ever want me to accent translate, I will. X3))


We’re all hysterical & going nowhere together.

C’mon rapture. Let’s go bedazzling.

Nothing gets futured without its own spitshine
& I’m already not not not not not not miraculous.


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Re: Morbidly Amusing [P, Elektra] PG-13

Postby Elektra » 05/31/2011 7:57 PM

"Who you calling kid you old ha-" she cut herself off, not wanting to upset the man who might have just given her a job.  "So, what's up with your inventory pops?" she asked him.  For some reason, she actually wanted to see if this old man was such a pushover that he'd forget chasing the exact same girl out of his shop with a broom.  Sure, it wasn't like a big memory, but that certainly wasn't something one would forget to easily.  At least, it wasn't in her opinion, but perhaps that was because she'd never been chased out of a store with a broom before, rather, with a gun, or a lot of rude language.  Chuckling, she surveyed the place once more, and finally got around to answering his question.  "Yeah, sure, I'll take it."



(I think your big post scared away my muse...  xD)


If you knew knew what the bluebirds sang at you
You would never sing along
Cast them out cause this is our culture
These new flocks are nothing but vultures

Because they took our love and they filled it up
Filled it up with Novocaine and now Im just numb
And don't mind me, Im just a son of a gun
So dont stop, dont stop until your heart goes numb
I dont feel a thing for you

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