Akkia smiled shyly and watched as the bartender dropped off there drinks, keeping up there charade by gazing at Rosa, and when he was gone, she dropped her gaze, swigged her drink and nodded slightly. "The only reason why I didn't choose one of the males in my pen is because Blaidd is well, Blaidd, Styx is promised to someone else, and I don't feel comfortable around men." She ran her finger over the rim of the glass, as her other hand suppourted her face, staring into the depths of the drink, as if it was the endless abyss. With a few icecubes floating at the top. She sighed slightly, she would hve to tell her someday, may as well be now. "The reason why, is because I once had pups, and a not-so-happy family, I was forced to mate, have pups." She winced at the memories, as they came flooding back. Her tearmarks were glistening, but this time, not from the light. "I killed my pups. I could never love them." She breathed, quickly wiping away shedded tears. She swigged her chilled drink and breathed heavily. "I ended up escaping, but I was already broken, I had already earned my tearstains, I had earned my blind eye." Her fringe had now covered her blue eye, her arms wrapping around herself as she whimpered gently. Why had she just exposed her scars to her? She had re-opened the old wounds as her face shown so much pain. Beginning to shudder lightly.