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More Than I Could Handle (Where Have I Been?)

Postby FieldsofIris » 10/08/2017 12:41 PM

Just a heads up, this has details about my personal life, so if you don't feel comfortable reading this, I understand.

It's probably been about 3 months since I've actually had a good, relaxing sit down session on Evelon, and I've dropped the ball on a lot of my RP's since then. I want to apologize to all of my RP partners, and give a little bit of an explanation as to where I've been. Just a warning: I'll be talking about my health in detail, so if that makes you uncomfortable, you are free to skip the rest of the post, or at least the next two paragraphs.

Starting back in January, I began having health issues. I gained a lot of weight for no reason, I began feeling ill much of the time, and I generally wasn't feeling like myself. I couldn't really do anything about it because I was out at college, and didn't want to deal with multiple doctors on opposite sides of the state. Anyway, after five months of generally not feeling well, I came home and immediately started consulting doctors. I was bounced around from department to department, and had a lot of different tests done.

The whole process included ultrasounds, blood work, and more consultations than I ever thought I would have. The hospital had a really hard time finding out the source of my problems. After three months of this process, in August, I was finally diagnosed with something. I have PCOS, a chronic illness affecting my hormone levels and causing cysts to form on my ovaries. It may sound like PCOS isn't a big deal, but I didn't think so either, until I was living with it. Over the last two months, I've been on a hormone treatment that has really had some adverse affects on me, and has made it hard to do the things I want to do.

Soon after beginning the treatment, college started back up, again, though I now go to a school in my hometown instead of across the state. I switched to a nursing major, and I lost most of my credits (2 years worth), ending up as a freshman, again. Even though I am taking "beginner level" classes, the work load has kept me at my desk constantly, unable to do the things I enjoy because I always felt like I was one step behind.

It wasn't until now that I have finally felt comfortable enough to begin doing what I want to do again. I feel that I actually have the time and drive to get on here and enjoy myself again. I'm cautious about posting this, because I truly do want to make an effort to be on Evelon more. This site and the people and stories on it are what really make me happy.

But I'm also afraid that at any moment, I'll start being overwhelmed again.

I still have some bad days, but am working along side with my family and doctors to get through this and manage my symptoms better.

For now, I am optimistic, and believe that I'll be back on here more often, at least for a bit every Sunday. So thank you for taking the time to read this, if you read it. I'm glad to be back. <3 Much love, everyone.


i was a billion little pieces
’til you pulled me into focus.
astronomy in reverse,
it was me who was discovered.


Venus - Sleeping at Last


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Re: More Than I Could Handle (Where Have I Been?)

Postby zapdragon555 » 10/08/2017 12:49 PM

You've been through a lot and I definitely want you to know first and foremost that people (including me!!) fully understand not having time for writing. I'm so glad you checked in, I was worried about you! But I'm glad to see you're doing alright, all things considered, and are getting treatment for your condition! It sounds like a really rough time and I'd say take it easy, but I know nursing is a very hard degree and you must have a ton on your plate.

Work and health comes first! Don't worry about disappointing anyone here, just focus on feeling as good as you can! <3
In the morning when I wake,
And the sun is coming through,
Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness,
And you fill my head with you.

Shall I write it in a letter?
Shall I try to get it down?
Oh, you fill my head with pieces
Of a song I can't get out.

Can I take it to a morning
Where the fields are painted gold,
And the trees are filled with memories
Of the feelings never told?

When the evening pulls the sun down,
And the day is almost through,
Oh, the whole world it is sleeping,
But my world is you.


Can I be close to you?


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Re: More Than I Could Handle (Where Have I Been?)

Postby ToxxicRenegadeAngel » 10/08/2017 1:20 PM

Welcome back, Iris, it's good to see you on here again.

I have a close friend who has PCOS and I've seen the effect it has on someone who's dealing with it, especially when it's a recent diagnosis. It does get more manageable as your body gets used to the treatment, so keep your chin up, and don't worry about taking breaks from things as needed - Evelon will still be here whenever you feel like coming back.

Health and happiness to you, and all the best for your new course!
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Re: More Than I Could Handle (Where Have I Been?)

Postby Mojave » 10/08/2017 2:48 PM

As someone who also has PCOS, I feel your pain. If you ever wanna talk or vent, my inbox is open. C: I'm glad your doctors have found a treatment that works for you! Regardless of how many "slow" periods you have where you just don't feel like you can keep up with Evelon, just remember everyone here tends to be understanding and the rps will be here when you feel better. Anyway, welcome back!

I am not as fine as I seem
Pardon, me for yelling and telling you green gardens
Are not what's growing in my psyche, it's a different me
A difficult beast feasting on burnt down trees
Freeze frame, please let me paint a mental picture portrait
Something you won't forget, it's all about my forehead
And how it is a door that holds back contents
That makes Pandora's box contents look non-violent
Behind my eyelids are islands of violence
My mind ship-wrecked this is the only land my mind could find
I did not know it was such a violent island
Full of tidal waves, suicidal crazed lions
They're trying to eat me, blood running down their chin
And I know that I can fight, or I can let the lion win
I begin to assemble what weapons I can find
'Cause sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind
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Re: More Than I Could Handle (Where Have I Been?)

Postby FieldsofIris » 10/09/2017 9:57 PM

Wow, thank you all so much for your support! I feel very loved and weepy now, haha! C,: You've managed to strike me speechless. I'll just have to stick with saying thank you a billion times. <3


i was a billion little pieces
’til you pulled me into focus.
astronomy in reverse,
it was me who was discovered.


Venus - Sleeping at Last


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Re: More Than I Could Handle (Where Have I Been?)

Postby Middy » 10/09/2017 10:58 PM

I know someone near and dear to me that had PCOS.

While I may have had a touch of it, my issue was endometriosis (combined with my rare diseases) and am now without a uterus or ovaries. I know being on hormone replacement can be hard, and I fully understand the pain you are going through. I'm very happy to hear the doctors are working with you and you are trying to get through college on top of that! You seem like a very strong person, and I know you can do it! Don't be afraid of being slow, take care of yourself first, always~

Hang in there, if you ever wanna talk, I'm here =3

I wait to surface
Above these bellowed growls
To sweep the shallows of utopia
I am the anchor
And the rope around your feet
In a river deep I hold you down
Ive come to stage your abdication
Im the creation of your sins
Embrace me









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