by Moofius » 10/04/2015 12:34 PM
OH WOW! Cool, you guys! 8D
I read oodles and oodles of webcomics so I feel you on the getting picked up thing. It's really hard to get people to read when you have just a few pages out, so PLEASE DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED!
It takes me a little while to really get my first impression with a webcomic, I prefer having a whole first chapter, especially if the art/dialogue does not grab me right off the bat. It's awesome that you have 4 pages to read right away.
Make sure you have a buffer, people don't like missed updates, and if you get sick or have holiday plans, yeah. The art looks pretty complex for your pages so a buffer is even more important.
Don't be afraid to try new art styles or techniques! It's super common for a webcomic to change their approach partway through to make it a little faster to produce pages. I've seen it happen A LOT. It's not a failure on your part or anything like that, it does not have to lessen the integrity of the art either, it can make page production that much more economical and there's nothing wrong with that.
Do guest pages on your own favorite webcomics and participate in same-ish genre. They don't need to be considered competition! I read over 200 webcomics (usually my list got keeled *weeps*), so one reader can participate in many stories. If you read webcomics check to see if they showcase fan art or check their news and social media feeds to see if they are looking for guest strips. They'll usually link to whatever you ask them to link to (yo web comic and seperate social media sites) if you give them that information.
Have a couple of different ways to update people. Some readers love twitter, others love Facebook, and others prefer Tumblr. Be as accessible as possible (without running yourselves ragged). If you post something to one, post it to all.
IN TERMS OF ART: I like the painted feel of the pages. Solid use of colours going on here for sure, ehehe. Sphinxesesessses! You're telling a story with pictures, so be sure to use body language. Everything up to the conversation with Vesta was great but the conversation between Emmy and Vesta seemed a bit stiff (that really could be the characters though *shrug shrug* S'only 4 pages after all).
Part of that stiffness might come from facial expressions. IN GENERAL it is considered a bit of a no-no in comics to have a speech bubble coming from a person who has their mouth closed. Closed shows not talking generally, you sort of want to catch their mid word and showing how they are feeling in whatever they are saying. Looking at you page 2, panel 5. It can be a good way of showing a non-emotional person talking though, again I don't know the characters yet.
Also I think in Page 3, Panel 2 Emmy's eyes are looking in the wrong direction and the voice/speech bubble is also coming from the wrong direction. It interrupts the flow (pretty sure Vesta is coming up on Emmy's left, or that is how Emmy turns towards the voice in the next panel but Emmy is looking to her right in the panel above) of the movement.
IN TERMS OF WRITING: Punctuation! When we talk we can just hear the questions, or the pauses, or what have you. In comics punctuation is needed to express it~
Say the lines out loud in how you magine them in your head, and see if the conversation rolls easily.
EX: Page 2, Panels 4-5
"It's been awhile since we have visited, has it not?"
"Since we visited the records. Yeah"
^- Maybe "Since we visited the records?" a question to confirm the others meaning, then "Yeah." That's a short stop, but "Yeah..." might imply a reluctance in Emmy's voice. So there's a lot you can do with that. Also laying out pauses and stops with commas and periods is pretty important.
Dropped words might also be coming into play here a bit, for me the conversation felt a bit... clunky? "Are we still on Saturday?" might need to change to "Are we still on for Saturday?" and "I'll be seeing you" or "I'll see you soon/later" might roll off the tongue better than Vesta's current "I'll see you!".
Just little things, really. The flow is good and it's definitely expressive enough, it feels a little... unpolished is all. c:
I will definitely add this one to my list of comics to read, though. So excited for you guys!
Also bubble orientation. Page 3, Panel 2 "Emmy!" is coming from the wrong direction. See last paragraph I wrote about "in terms of art". Flow is important.
Aaaaand you can tell a lot from a voice bubbles shape. Square bubbles are usually used for narration, not speech, and if used for speech would generaly be used for robots or robotic/monotone voices.
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