Energizer bunny arrested; charged with battery
There's the first. So go ahead!
Jokes
by ilovemerrill » 10/03/2007 2:29 PM
I saw that there was a section on scary stories, so I thought a section on jokes might be nice. Anyone with a great joke, post it here.
Energizer bunny arrested; charged with battery
There's the first. So go ahead!
Energizer bunny arrested; charged with battery
There's the first. So go ahead!
"What you have to ask yourself is this. Are you the kind of person that sees miracles, sees signs, or do you believe people just get lucky? Is it possible that there ate no coincidences? ~Graham Hess, Signs
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by Knightdaniru » 10/03/2007 2:47 PM
hmm.. I have no good jokes. I started the one on scary stories.
You may call, you may call
But the little black cats won't hear you.
The little black cats are maddened
By the bright green light of the moon;
They are whirling and running and hiding,
They are wild who were once so confiding,
They are crazed when the moon is riding
You will not catch the kittens soon.
They care not for saucers of milk,
They think not of pillows of silk;
Your softest, crooningest call
Is less than the buzzing of flies.
They are seeing more than you see,
They are hearing more than you hear,
And out of the darkness they peer.
With a goblin light in their eyes!
The Bad Kitties
By Elizabeth Coatsworth
But the little black cats won't hear you.
The little black cats are maddened
By the bright green light of the moon;
They are whirling and running and hiding,
They are wild who were once so confiding,
They are crazed when the moon is riding
You will not catch the kittens soon.
They care not for saucers of milk,
They think not of pillows of silk;
Your softest, crooningest call
Is less than the buzzing of flies.
They are seeing more than you see,
They are hearing more than you hear,
And out of the darkness they peer.
With a goblin light in their eyes!
The Bad Kitties
By Elizabeth Coatsworth
-
Knightdaniru - Celebrity Specialist
- Pets | Items
- Joined: 09/04/2007 5:56 PM
- Location: Not home.
by ilovemerrill » 10/03/2007 2:56 PM
Yup, I remember. The jokes don't have to be good. Just enough to make me smile. >_> Just kidding!
"What you have to ask yourself is this. Are you the kind of person that sees miracles, sees signs, or do you believe people just get lucky? Is it possible that there ate no coincidences? ~Graham Hess, Signs
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ilovemerrill - Novice Explorer
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- Location: On the back of my horse, Merrill.
by Knightdaniru » 10/03/2007 3:03 PM
My jokes wouldn't even make you smile. They are 1million years old. ecept the worst 'why I didn't do my homework' excuse in a privet christian school. "It's ageinst my religion!" XD That never gets old.
You may call, you may call
But the little black cats won't hear you.
The little black cats are maddened
By the bright green light of the moon;
They are whirling and running and hiding,
They are wild who were once so confiding,
They are crazed when the moon is riding
You will not catch the kittens soon.
They care not for saucers of milk,
They think not of pillows of silk;
Your softest, crooningest call
Is less than the buzzing of flies.
They are seeing more than you see,
They are hearing more than you hear,
And out of the darkness they peer.
With a goblin light in their eyes!
The Bad Kitties
By Elizabeth Coatsworth
But the little black cats won't hear you.
The little black cats are maddened
By the bright green light of the moon;
They are whirling and running and hiding,
They are wild who were once so confiding,
They are crazed when the moon is riding
You will not catch the kittens soon.
They care not for saucers of milk,
They think not of pillows of silk;
Your softest, crooningest call
Is less than the buzzing of flies.
They are seeing more than you see,
They are hearing more than you hear,
And out of the darkness they peer.
With a goblin light in their eyes!
The Bad Kitties
By Elizabeth Coatsworth
-
Knightdaniru - Celebrity Specialist
- Pets | Items
- Joined: 09/04/2007 5:56 PM
- Location: Not home.
by Freezair » 10/03/2007 3:33 PM
Here's an awful joke:
An opera singer gets sick the night before a big performance, so the opera director tells his assistant, "Go out and find me somebody who can sing his part." The next day, the assistant comes back with a good young singer he found singing locally.
He introduces the singer to the opera director, and the assistant says: "Here's the tenor I owe you."
Ba-dum-pish!
This one always makes me crack a grin:
A man walks into a dentist's office and goes up to the dentist. "You gotta help me, doc!" he says. "I think I'm a moth!"
"You don't need a dentist," the dentist says. "You need a psychiatrist."
"I know," the man replies.
"Then why did you come in here?" the dentists asks.
"Because," the man said, "your light was on."
Wop-wop-waaah.
And as a bonus, here are some awful, punny episode titles for if there was ever an Evelon-themed cartoon.
-Tali Tale
-Rollaby With The Punches
-Aries More Than This To Life
-That's What I'm Torken 'Bout
-Going Batti
-Albie Waiting
-Leebra Me Alone
-All Penticorned Up
-Right On Cuniflare
-A Matched Rengosett
-How Now, Wood Tuskow?
-He Said, Yingshee Said
-Who Can? Roosken!
-Gone A-Magistrey
-Gyrraptor Today, Gone Tomorrow
-Kalamarei Dancing Spree (Lol, obscure)
Hurts, doesn't it I'm really, really sorry.
An opera singer gets sick the night before a big performance, so the opera director tells his assistant, "Go out and find me somebody who can sing his part." The next day, the assistant comes back with a good young singer he found singing locally.
He introduces the singer to the opera director, and the assistant says: "Here's the tenor I owe you."
Ba-dum-pish!
This one always makes me crack a grin:
A man walks into a dentist's office and goes up to the dentist. "You gotta help me, doc!" he says. "I think I'm a moth!"
"You don't need a dentist," the dentist says. "You need a psychiatrist."
"I know," the man replies.
"Then why did you come in here?" the dentists asks.
"Because," the man said, "your light was on."
Wop-wop-waaah.
And as a bonus, here are some awful, punny episode titles for if there was ever an Evelon-themed cartoon.
-Tali Tale
-Rollaby With The Punches
-Aries More Than This To Life
-That's What I'm Torken 'Bout
-Going Batti
-Albie Waiting
-Leebra Me Alone
-All Penticorned Up
-Right On Cuniflare
-A Matched Rengosett
-How Now, Wood Tuskow?
-He Said, Yingshee Said
-Who Can? Roosken!
-Gone A-Magistrey
-Gyrraptor Today, Gone Tomorrow
-Kalamarei Dancing Spree (Lol, obscure)
Hurts, doesn't it I'm really, really sorry.
I'm so cool (too bad I'm a loser).
I'm so smart (too bad I can't get anything figured out)!
I'm so brave (too bad I'm a baby).
I'm so fly
That's probably why it feels just like I'm falling for the first time!
I'm so green (it's really amazing).
I'm so clean (too bad I can't get all the dirt off of me)!
I'm so sane (It's driving me crazy)!
It's so strange
I can't believe I'm falling for the first time!
Critters -Ramblings - Single & Looking -Majikul Wishlist -This Stuff's Important
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Freezair - Globetrotter
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by Knightdaniru » 10/03/2007 3:42 PM
XD that second one is good. I don't get the first one though...
You may call, you may call
But the little black cats won't hear you.
The little black cats are maddened
By the bright green light of the moon;
They are whirling and running and hiding,
They are wild who were once so confiding,
They are crazed when the moon is riding
You will not catch the kittens soon.
They care not for saucers of milk,
They think not of pillows of silk;
Your softest, crooningest call
Is less than the buzzing of flies.
They are seeing more than you see,
They are hearing more than you hear,
And out of the darkness they peer.
With a goblin light in their eyes!
The Bad Kitties
By Elizabeth Coatsworth
But the little black cats won't hear you.
The little black cats are maddened
By the bright green light of the moon;
They are whirling and running and hiding,
They are wild who were once so confiding,
They are crazed when the moon is riding
You will not catch the kittens soon.
They care not for saucers of milk,
They think not of pillows of silk;
Your softest, crooningest call
Is less than the buzzing of flies.
They are seeing more than you see,
They are hearing more than you hear,
And out of the darkness they peer.
With a goblin light in their eyes!
The Bad Kitties
By Elizabeth Coatsworth
-
Knightdaniru - Celebrity Specialist
- Pets | Items
- Joined: 09/04/2007 5:56 PM
- Location: Not home.
by Freezair » 10/03/2007 3:43 PM
Knightdaniru wrote:XD that second one is good. I don't get the first one though...
Tenor = a pun on the phrase "tenner," as in ten-dollar bill.
I'm so cool (too bad I'm a loser).
I'm so smart (too bad I can't get anything figured out)!
I'm so brave (too bad I'm a baby).
I'm so fly
That's probably why it feels just like I'm falling for the first time!
I'm so green (it's really amazing).
I'm so clean (too bad I can't get all the dirt off of me)!
I'm so sane (It's driving me crazy)!
It's so strange
I can't believe I'm falling for the first time!
Critters -Ramblings - Single & Looking -Majikul Wishlist -This Stuff's Important
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Freezair - Globetrotter
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- Keystones: 80
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by Knightdaniru » 10/03/2007 3:46 PM
oh... Ok... I get it now...
Want to here a really pathetic one?
Why do ballarinas wear tutus?
Becouse three-threes are two big, and one-ones are two small!
I was obsessed with that one for too long... XD
Want to here a really pathetic one?
Why do ballarinas wear tutus?
Becouse three-threes are two big, and one-ones are two small!
I was obsessed with that one for too long... XD
You may call, you may call
But the little black cats won't hear you.
The little black cats are maddened
By the bright green light of the moon;
They are whirling and running and hiding,
They are wild who were once so confiding,
They are crazed when the moon is riding
You will not catch the kittens soon.
They care not for saucers of milk,
They think not of pillows of silk;
Your softest, crooningest call
Is less than the buzzing of flies.
They are seeing more than you see,
They are hearing more than you hear,
And out of the darkness they peer.
With a goblin light in their eyes!
The Bad Kitties
By Elizabeth Coatsworth
But the little black cats won't hear you.
The little black cats are maddened
By the bright green light of the moon;
They are whirling and running and hiding,
They are wild who were once so confiding,
They are crazed when the moon is riding
You will not catch the kittens soon.
They care not for saucers of milk,
They think not of pillows of silk;
Your softest, crooningest call
Is less than the buzzing of flies.
They are seeing more than you see,
They are hearing more than you hear,
And out of the darkness they peer.
With a goblin light in their eyes!
The Bad Kitties
By Elizabeth Coatsworth
-
Knightdaniru - Celebrity Specialist
- Pets | Items
- Joined: 09/04/2007 5:56 PM
- Location: Not home.
by Kittyms » 10/03/2007 4:24 PM
Our math teacher told us this one today: What do you call a parrot on a diet?
Answer: Polynomial = Polly no meal.
Harhar... I didn't even really laugh about that one, it was so pathetic Dx
Answer: Polynomial = Polly no meal.
Harhar... I didn't even really laugh about that one, it was so pathetic Dx
Kitty's Breedables------The Menagerie
"Control yourself; take only what you need from it." ~Kids by MGMT
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Kittyms - Celebrity Pet Tamer
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by ilovemerrill » 10/03/2007 4:37 PM
Funny funny funny! Here's one:
A young preacher was reciting scripture when his mind went blank. He had learned in seminary that when his mind went blank, to repeat what he just said and it might come back to him. So he tried it.
"Behold, I come quickly" he repeated.
His mind was still stuck.
"Behold, I come quickly" he said again.
Still nothing.
Finally, he said it again, with such force that he tripped off the stage and fell into the lap of a little old lady in the front row.
He apoligized sincerely and explained his situation to her.
"That's ok" the little old lady said. "I should have gotten out of the way. You told me three times you were coming."
A young preacher was reciting scripture when his mind went blank. He had learned in seminary that when his mind went blank, to repeat what he just said and it might come back to him. So he tried it.
"Behold, I come quickly" he repeated.
His mind was still stuck.
"Behold, I come quickly" he said again.
Still nothing.
Finally, he said it again, with such force that he tripped off the stage and fell into the lap of a little old lady in the front row.
He apoligized sincerely and explained his situation to her.
"That's ok" the little old lady said. "I should have gotten out of the way. You told me three times you were coming."
"What you have to ask yourself is this. Are you the kind of person that sees miracles, sees signs, or do you believe people just get lucky? Is it possible that there ate no coincidences? ~Graham Hess, Signs
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ilovemerrill - Novice Explorer
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by Becca » 10/04/2007 7:47 PM
I have a blonde joke!!
Paris Hilton...
Paris Hilton...
Summon the djinni with your mystic pentacle,
he appears in guises most fanciful.
Tread with caution of his deceitful ways,
lest this be your last of days.
Give him his charge and send him on his way,
before his tricks lead you into disarray...
Bartimaeus
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Becca - Celebrity Pet Tamer
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by Knightdaniru » 10/04/2007 7:49 PM
Becca wrote:I have a blonde joke!!
Paris Hilton...
? Ok Then... o_O
You may call, you may call
But the little black cats won't hear you.
The little black cats are maddened
By the bright green light of the moon;
They are whirling and running and hiding,
They are wild who were once so confiding,
They are crazed when the moon is riding
You will not catch the kittens soon.
They care not for saucers of milk,
They think not of pillows of silk;
Your softest, crooningest call
Is less than the buzzing of flies.
They are seeing more than you see,
They are hearing more than you hear,
And out of the darkness they peer.
With a goblin light in their eyes!
The Bad Kitties
By Elizabeth Coatsworth
But the little black cats won't hear you.
The little black cats are maddened
By the bright green light of the moon;
They are whirling and running and hiding,
They are wild who were once so confiding,
They are crazed when the moon is riding
You will not catch the kittens soon.
They care not for saucers of milk,
They think not of pillows of silk;
Your softest, crooningest call
Is less than the buzzing of flies.
They are seeing more than you see,
They are hearing more than you hear,
And out of the darkness they peer.
With a goblin light in their eyes!
The Bad Kitties
By Elizabeth Coatsworth
-
Knightdaniru - Celebrity Specialist
- Pets | Items
- Joined: 09/04/2007 5:56 PM
- Location: Not home.
by Kittyms » 10/04/2007 7:52 PM
Maybe that's the joke!! xD
Kitty's Breedables------The Menagerie
"Control yourself; take only what you need from it." ~Kids by MGMT
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Kittyms - Celebrity Pet Tamer
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by Becca » 10/04/2007 7:53 PM
Yep. Paris Hilton is a joke. Paris= definition of a dumb blonde.
Summon the djinni with your mystic pentacle,
he appears in guises most fanciful.
Tread with caution of his deceitful ways,
lest this be your last of days.
Give him his charge and send him on his way,
before his tricks lead you into disarray...
Bartimaeus
-
Becca - Celebrity Pet Tamer
- Pets | Items
- Keystones: 477
- Donate
- Joined: 09/05/2007 3:11 PM
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by Knightdaniru » 10/04/2007 7:55 PM
nice... and back before my hair started turning dark, I was a smart blonde. XD For an eight year old...
You may call, you may call
But the little black cats won't hear you.
The little black cats are maddened
By the bright green light of the moon;
They are whirling and running and hiding,
They are wild who were once so confiding,
They are crazed when the moon is riding
You will not catch the kittens soon.
They care not for saucers of milk,
They think not of pillows of silk;
Your softest, crooningest call
Is less than the buzzing of flies.
They are seeing more than you see,
They are hearing more than you hear,
And out of the darkness they peer.
With a goblin light in their eyes!
The Bad Kitties
By Elizabeth Coatsworth
But the little black cats won't hear you.
The little black cats are maddened
By the bright green light of the moon;
They are whirling and running and hiding,
They are wild who were once so confiding,
They are crazed when the moon is riding
You will not catch the kittens soon.
They care not for saucers of milk,
They think not of pillows of silk;
Your softest, crooningest call
Is less than the buzzing of flies.
They are seeing more than you see,
They are hearing more than you hear,
And out of the darkness they peer.
With a goblin light in their eyes!
The Bad Kitties
By Elizabeth Coatsworth
-
Knightdaniru - Celebrity Specialist
- Pets | Items
- Joined: 09/04/2007 5:56 PM
- Location: Not home.
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