Hate. I really hated this. Would the me of then have been proud?
These thoughts violated my entire being, tainting my already fragile psyche and vacillating self-confidence. These thoughts had already claimed my mind as their rightful place of residence. They were creatures of habit.
Alas, such thoughts had become the norm. A rock that had been unfortunate enough to cross my path, falling victim to my restless feet, was my only distraction from these thoughts. But even that was the norm. It was curious how so many things had found themselves labeled as "norm", when the public assumed I was a perpetually interesting (and fortunate) busybody. Finding myself making my nightly trek to the local convenience store (it could only be called a miracle that the employees there had not recognized my face), I only wish I had brought my dog with me.
Bijin was my comfort on nights such as these, as I walked through dimly lit neighborhoods and crossed streets nearly devoid of traveling vehicles. Taking into account my status as both a famous figure and a young woman, wasn't it only natural to be on my guard? Yes, I'd remain on my guard until Hell froze over.
I pulled my oversized scarf higher on my neck.