[Kitsumi]

I don't know why mommy needs me to be quiet. Is she ashamed of me? I nod though because I want to make mommy happy. "I understand mommy. Will you be home tonight?" Usually mommy doesn't come home after a date until the next day. But I want to be hopeful. Maybe if I'm good she'll come home tonight.

[Kitsumi]

But mommy shakes her head. "I probably won't be home until tomorrow." She touches my cheek and smiles at me. "Can you be a big girl for me? I know you can be a brave big girl. You can even sleep in mommy's bed, okay?" There's another knock at the door, and mommy shouts that she'll be there in a minute. "Okay babygirl, go wait in your room until we're gone."

[Kitsumi]

I'm sad but I do as mommy asks. I wait in my room until the headlights from the rich guy go down the road. Then I go out to the living room and watch t.v. again. Mommy forgot to make dinner for me before she left. That's okay though. I know how to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I can make my own dinner. Mommy was right; I'm a big girl.

[Kitsumi]

I watch a silly show until my tummy starts to grumble. Then I go to look for the bread. I find half a loaf on top of the refrigerator. I have to stand on a chair to reach it. Then I drag the chair over to the cupboard so I can get the peanut butter. I get the jelly and a butter knife, and I make my sandwich. I smile as I think how mommy would be proud of me for making my own dinner.

[Kitsumi]

I want to eat my dinner in the living room so I can watch t.v. But I know that mommy doesn't like when I spill my milk on the couch or drop crumbs. The thought of making her proud keeps me in the kitchen. I eat in there and finish a whole glass of milk. Then I put the peanut butter, jelly and bread away. It's only six o-clock and I'm not tired yet.

[Kitsumi]

When it finally starts to get late, I turn off the t.v. I don't like the dark, so I keep the hall light on as I get in mommy's bed. I leave her door open a crack so the light can shine in. I wish that mommy was home. I like to snuggle with her while I fall asleep. But tonight I don't have anyone to snuggle with. I finally fall asleep, but I have nightmares.

[Kitsumi]

It's early in the morning when mommy gets home. I know because I wake up when she slips into bed next to me. I back up so that I'm closer to her and she wraps her arms around me. She brushes my hair back and kisses my head. "Go back to sleep, babygirl," she whispers. "Tomorrow is going to be a special day." I want to ask why but I'm too tired. This time I don't have nightmares when I sleep, because mommy is with me.

[Kitsumi]

Mommy isn't with me when I wake up. I hear her humming in the kitchen though so I walk out there. She's still in her pajamas, dancing around as she cooks breakfast. When she sees me she takes my hands and invites me to dance with her. I laugh as we spin around and around. Mommy is in a really good mood for some reason.

[Kitsumi]

I set the table while mommy finishes cooking. I get out the orange juice and put it on the table too. Mommy puts three pieces of bacon on my plate and three on hers. We also have eggs and mommy even scrambled them because she knows it's my favorite. We sit down to eat together. The bacon is a little burnt but I tell her that I like it that way because I don't want her good mood to be gone.

[Kitsumi]

When we're done eating we sit back at the table and just talk. I ask why today is a special day and she smiles. "You remember how I went on a date last night? Well the guy says he really likes me. He wants to go out with me today too. And he wants me to bring you along."

[Kitsumi]

I drop my fork and stare at mommy. "Why would he want me to come? I'm too young for him to date me!" Something about what I said makes mommy laugh. "Sweetheart he doesn't want to date you. He just wants to get to know me better. And everyone knows that you're the biggest part of my life babygirl."

[Kitsumi]

I nod as if I understand even though I don't. I want to take more food so that the sudden silence isn't as awkward. But my stomach is too full for me to fit in another bite. Instead I just look down at my plate. Eventually one of us will have to say something. I hope that it will be soon. I don't like things to be this quiet.

[Kitsumi]

Finally mommy begins to speak again. "Baby, do you want me to help you pick out a pretty dress to wear? You can even wear some of my perfume if you want." I instantly perk up again. I always like to wear mommy's perfume. And she helps me pick out the prettiest dresses. I stand up from my chair and mommy takes my hand. We both walk into my room.

[Kitsumi]

Mommy picks out a pink dress for me that she says makes me look like a little flower. She sprays a couple of spritzes of perfume on the dress and I inhale the scent. Looking at myself in the mirror, I frown. My hair is so limp and unattractive. It's not at all like mommy's hair, which is curly and beautiful. "Can you do my hair mommy?" I look up at her with big pleading eyes.

[Kitsumi]

"Well I have to have time to get dressed too baby. That nice man will be here any minute you know." She starts to say no. But when she sees the disappointed look on my face she sighs and gives in. "I guess I have time to at least braid your hair or something. Come here and let me brush it first." I sit in front of her obediently as she runs the brush through my hair. The motion is gentle and comforting.