[dirtylion]

THE MISADVENTURES

These stories below are just my character Maurice ending up in weird situations when his partner Hellen is away. He's a humorous fellow that is scared of half the world who just wants to spend his time lazing around between missions. However he can never seem to get a break because he always runs into strange people and then gets hauled off on crazy misadventures. If he wasn't so afraid of everything he would maybe consider himself lucky by being able to explore the world. Sadly though he is to busy trying to hide from his own shadow.

The New Recruit and The Unfortunate Tumble
Cowboys and... More Cowboys
Who Killed Who?

[dirtylion]

Maurice let out a long sigh as he gave up trying to get free from the ropes that bound him to a chair, "where did we go wrong?"

Obsidian made a strangled noise, "we?! Don't you mean you?"

"Your right, where did you go wrong?"

"Me?! I meant you! You are more useless than a mole rat!"

Maurice scoffed, "oh pish posh the second you walked into the guild bar with Edith is when all this went wrong."

"No it wasn't, it was when Edith decided you were capable of being in charge."

Maurice laughed, "ah ha! We agree on something, this was all Edith's fault."

24 hours earlier

Maurice walked over to a bar stool and sat down. He was left all alone at the guild. Hellen had went on a solo mission and it sort of bummed him out that he wasn't needed, but he didn't complain he knew that sometimes Hellen needed to be alone and that his skills sometimes weren't needed for certain jobs.

The bartender walked over to him "ah Maurice here so early its the middle of the day." She laughed at him when he only glumly shrugged "your normal?" She asked.

Maurice nodded "ah yeah with a bendy straw too please."

She laughed some more "okay, one apple juice with a bendy straw coming up!"

As she walked away he called "thank you Margaret!"

While he waited he spun in the barstool thinking about what he was going to do for the next week and a half, when the doors opened spilling in midday light over the practically empty bar.

[dirtylion]

Edith, the lady that would take charge if Raz was away, stepped in along with a boy that had dark brown hair and two different colored eyes.

The clack of her shoes echoed in the bar as they came over to him and stood there. Margaret brought over the apple juice and sat it in front of Maurice. He excitedly tool the straw and sucked down the juice as he finally turned to face Edith.

"How may I assist you Miss. Edith on this boring day." He dragged out the word boring and then took another sip of juice.

"Well I've got a new recruit here and I want you to go with him as the mentor in this mission."

Maurice scratched the back of head "you want me to be the mentor, hell Edith I'm still pretty much a rookie myself."

She laughed "Maurice, I doubt you can considered a rookie anymore and Raz told me that he wanted you to do this."

"Well then nothing is stopping me from saying no." His fist shot into the air "Let's do this!"

He looked around Edith at the man who was boredly standing there "Hiya I'm Maurice, and you are?"

[dirtylion]

"The name is Obsidian" he turned towards Edith, " and I don't need a partner."

Edith raised an eyebrow "Mr. Obsidian, here at the guild there are certain rules that we must abide by and having a partner on a mission is one of them. That is for safety reasons, so you don't come back laying on a gurney. There are only a few older bounty hunters here that can do solo missions and you are not one of them."

Maurice awkwardly sipped his drink until there was nothing left besides ice and so it started to make that annoying slurping sound. Both of them looked at him and he stopped, "don't mind me."

"Anyways, Maurice you will be leading this mission, it's only a recon for Raz, he needs to know if he has to send in a group or not."

"So its only spying?" Maurice asked.

"Yup, so don't do anything stupid, got it?" She looked at both of them.

[dirtylion]

It was later that night and Maurice was putting his bag into the back of Golden (Hellen had taken Bruce). Golden was a lovely old volkswagen van painted a light blue but through the years turned almost white. Her name came upon her from the many different times she had golden timing and been there for hunters when they needed her.

In the distance he saw Obsidian coming with his bag. He wasn't sure yet what to think of him, he hadn't spoken much to him besides what was needed to be said. Honestly he thought he hated him, but not many people enjoyed his odd sense of humor anyways so he didn't blame him.

"We're going in this?" He asked coming up behind him, "does it still even run?"

"What Golden is amazing! And you can't talk Mr. I own a 1929 Indian motorcycle." He put emphasis on the year.

He smiled "I know."

Maurice grinned back, "ah ha! I finally got some other emotion out of you! I was starting to worry you were a robot with all that monotone talk." Maurice joked. He walked over to the driver side door and tugged on it a bit before it released itself and opened making Maurice stumble back a bit. "Now come on and get in. Let's get to the docks and spy!"

[dirtylion]

It had almost hit midnight and Maurice and Obsidian were peering around two giant cargo ship containers. Maurice had binoculars and was searching for the suspicious activity that Edith had spoken about.

"You see anything thing?" Obsidian asked quite bored with the whole operation.

"Sadly, no. When are those dingalings going to come out and play so I can creepily watch from afar."

Before Obsidian could reply four large vans came rolling in. They all parked and about 20 men stepped out of the vehicles.

"Hot damn!" Maurice loudly whispered.

Obsidian snatched the binoculars away, "let me see."

"Rude, you could of said please."

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“Crap I can't see anything it's too far away,” Obsidian started to move forward to get a better look.

“Wait,” Maurice followed worried. “We shouldn’t get this close, we are extremely outnumbered and we would become mobster play toys if we get caught, or worse Edith comes and chews our asses out for screwing up. I know you're new but soon you will realize that Edith is someone that you do not want to mess with. I rather not be on her bad side… again.”

“Oh calm down you wuss, we won’t get caught plus I have my gun, we will be fine.” Obsidian tried to reason.

If Maurice was with Hellen thing would of been different, they would went in sword a blazing, well she would of. He would stay away at a safe distance and quietly cheered her on.

“Oh fine," he started to creep his way towards Obsidians new hiding spot but half way there he tripped and fell down the small incline and rolled into the clearing where all the men were talking. Maurice stopped rolling and put down his arms that he had wrapped around his head.

He awkwardly looked at the men as they silently stared at him. Maurice turned and looked in the direction of Obsidian, “I told you it wasn’t a good idea!”

[dirtylion]

Present time

Maurice rolled his eyes and scoffed, he knew this would only end badly, luckily the bad guys weren't intent on only just killing them. They were both tied up back to back against a poll in a houseboat that was docked in the water. Probably wasn't even their boat either, typical bad guy move.

He could feel Obsidian tugging against the ropes and that made Maurice roll his eyes again, "don't worry everything will be fine, I have my gun with me, nothing will go wrong, oh please! I'm on the mission everything is bound to go wrong."

"Oh will you stop whining that's getting us nowhere."

"Oh and wiggling around like a worm is?"

"It's better than doing nothing, like someone I know." Obsidian went back to struggling with their bindings.

"If you are insinuating that I'm doing nothing then you are sadly mistaken."

"Then please do pray tell what it is that you are in fact doing?"

"Coming up with a fabulous idea of how to get us out of here."

20 minutes later

Obsidian let a strangled sigh of defeat and leaned his head against the bar that they were tied to, "so want to let me in on this plan?"

There was an awkward moment of silence, "I'll tell you as soon as I think of something."

[dirtylion]

There was a movement and then a loud bang echoed through the room as someone slammed the door shut. It startled Maurice out of the slumber he had fallen into. Obsidian scoffed, “how was the plan making going.”

Maurice turned red in the face, he hadn’t meant to fall asleep but he had gotten bored and drifted off.

“Shut up!” The man that had entered to room yelled, “he walked over to Obsidian and leaned down so they were eye level. “What were you doing on the docks?”

Obsidian grinned, “we were getting ready to go out fishing.”

The man hit Obsidian in the face, “stop fucking lying and tell me, what the fuck you were doing here?”

“Oh go lick a dick,” Obsidian rolled his eyes, this man would need to try a little harder to try and get information from him.

The man looked offended by such a strange insult and walked around towards Maurice. Obsidian let out a silent sigh, here goes everything, Maurice probably would spill everything before the man could finish asking the question.

[dirtylion]

He leaned down in Maurice's face, “what the hell ar-”

“Are you armed?” Maurice interrupted, his voice deathly calm.

The man was taken aback by the question, “no at the moment?”

Maurice quirked an eyebrow, “good. Now first things first I don’t know about you but the whole threatening thing is a little over rated. Maybe politely asking could get a better reaction out of me, however no matter what you do I will not tell you what I was up to wandering around. That's my business and only my business, I also know you won’t kill me so don’t say you will, it’s pathetic.”

Maurice could tell that this man was low on the totem pole, an easy target to take advantage of. Normally when people are on the bottom it was because they were not very smart. He was going to use that to his advantage.

“What’s your name sir, mines Mage?”

Maurice could see the uncertainty in the man's eyes, “it’s… it’s it’s Rick.”

“Hi Rick, since we know each-others names that means we can be more of gentlemen and so could you be a right sir and untie me, I have a awful crick in my neck.”

“No I can’t, boss wouldn’t like that.”

Maurice squinted his eyes at Rick egging him not to let him go.

[dirtylion]

Obsidian sat awestruck, he hadn’t known Maurice for very long. He had pegged him for a coward but obviously he had missed something as he still sat on the ground tied to the pole but Maurice was comfortably chilling back in a chair with Rick.

“So what your telling me is that your group has a large amount of endangered species being shipped in soon. Hmm interesting.”

Rick looked nervous but the man was so persuasive that he couldn’t help but tell him what they were doing. “Alright well I think I might need to be tying you back up now, boss will be here soon and she wouldn’t be too happy to see that I had let a prisoner out."

Obsidian quirked up, her? He had stayed silent carefully listening to anything that might help the guild with this mission. This was recon after all even though it was in the weirdest way possible. He was getting the idea though that this was quite normal for Maurice and whoever he was actually partnered with.

“I’m sorry Rick but I can’t let you do that, I really did enjoy this talk though, really it helped me out a bunch. The guild Black Wrath will thank you for your cooperation.” Maurice stood up and picked up the small knife that was on the table, he took it in his hand and flicked it letting it fly towards Obsidian. He cringed for sharp impact but nothing came instead the ropes that tied his hands to the bar went limp. Obsidian shot up from the ground just as Rick started to yell for back up.

...

Men shoved through the door to see Rick unconscious on the ground and the small round window wide open. One of the men ran to the window to watch both of their prisons landing in the water and swim to shore.

[dirtylion]

Maurice coughed up water and as he dragged his body out of the ocean and on to the shore near the dock. He wasn’t sure what time it was but the sun was in the middle of the sky. They must of been unconscious for longer than he thought if it was already midday. Obsidian closely followed him but he hadn’t taken his time to take a breath because he was doing his best to run in the sand and try to get Maurice on his feet.

Maurice saw his frantic face and followed his gaze towards the docks where he saw men swarming out of the ship and heading towards them. Maurice let out a shriek and took off with his long legs up the sand and onto wood. He tore through the docks hoping Obsidian was behind him, he was about to faint and he need to get the van.

Shit! He had to drive, he braved a glance behind happy to see that Obsidian was hot on his trail. Maurice decided to just hop into the passenger seat and hope Obsidian would get the message that he was driving.

[dirtylion]

Obsidian got the message as he jumped into the driver's seat, seconds later the were pealing out of the loading docks. Gun shots rang out as the sped off and when he looked over to see if Maurice was okay he saw the he had already passed out after putting on his seat belt.

He guessed that all the excitement was too much for Maurice. When the got a safe distance away Obsidian slowed down and got onto the highway heading back to the guild. He turned the radio onto the oldies channel and quietly hummed along waiting for Maurice to wake up.

[dirtylion]

Maurice blinked a few times and then almost instantly became sick, he turned pale and threw open the side door to puke up his insides. Obsidian looked over shocked, he hadn’t been expecting that. He quickly pulled over hoping that would help his partner to stop puking.

Maurice let out a shaky sigh and leaned his head against the seat trying to stop quivering. Hellen would of known that he would sick and so when he would wake up she would already have Brucy pulled over and a bottle of water waiting for him.

“Can you reach into the back and get me some water from the ice chest, please?”

“Sure as long as you don’t kept throwing up,” He replied.

“I will throw up on you if you don’t get that water,” Maurice was in no mood to throw snarky remarks, he just wanted some damn water.

[dirtylion]

Obsidian rolled his eyes, “whatever.” He crawled into the back of the van and searched for the ice chest.

“Fuck! What the hell,” Obsidian in his search stubbed his toe on a hard cased object. He reached down and unhooked the latches on the case. Inside was fairly new sword wrapped in red silk. “Hey, Maurice why do you have a sword in here?”

There was silence for a second, “it’s just an old piece of junk that I was planning on giving to Copper to scrap.”

Obsidian came back with the water and handed it to Maurice, “it didn’t look like a piece of junk.”

“Well it is,” Maurice snapped and finally washed his mouth of the foul taste. “Just drop it already.”