[Soriana]

Ma zatâbhyûrizu galabur, zatâbhyûrizu mohilur.

Do not be wise in words - be wise in deeds.

- Dwarvish proverb

[Soriana]

"[...]The Dwarves indeed proved tough and hard to tame; they ill endure the domination of others, and the thoughts of their hearts are hard to fathom, nor can they be turned to shadows."

- J.R.R. Tolkien, "Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age" (The Silmarillion)

[ToxxicRenegadeAngel]

*me walking with my mum and sister, and my mum and I are discussing hugs*

Mum: "And what's that enthusiastic one you're always going on about? Fliberdeglibble? Fugglewhomp?"
Me *poker faced and deadpan*: "Yo-you mean glomp?"
Mum *also deadpan*: "Yes, that's the one. Glomp."
*We look at each other, and all of a sudden neither of us can see, breathe or walk for laughing!*
Me: "Where on earth did those come from? It's a one-syllable word! One syllable!"

[Soriana]

"When the wizard came to me with the map, I thought, 'Let this be a mistake. Let this be a fake, a forgery.' This task, it's impossible. But why did it come to me? What would you have me do? Would you have me sit here growing fat and old at my leisure? We were once a noble people, not tinkers and merchants scraping around in the dirt for copper coins - but dwarf lords! ONCE WE WERE KINGS."

- Richard Armitage, in the audition that got him the role of Thorin Oakenshield

[MythicDusk]

"Don't give up,
I believe in you all,
A person's a person,
No matter how small." - Dr. Seuss

Nan: I'm proud of you.
Me: What? Why? All I do is go to college, study some, get okay grades, come home, eat, play games or watch crap TV and sleep.
Nan: And yet, you have a social life, you play games that exercise your mind, you get sucked into the story, without you knowing, I've sat there and watched you play them, I've seen the tears that roll down your cheeks, the way how your jaw tightens when you get angry and a spark in your eyes that glows quietly. You eat with a intense passion, like you want all the flavours in your mouth at once, you study so hard, even if you can't see it, your 'okay' grades are B's and A's. You're going to college, to go to university to better yourself and the people around you. How can I not be proud of every moment of your life?
Me: Because I feel like I should do better.
Nan: In my eyes, every moment you live, you do better and better things.

"I want a book, that when I read it, I get so deep into it, that when I finish it, I cry, because I feel like I've lost a friend. That's the book I want to write, the book that stays with you, that tinges your dreams, that gives you a spark to write something yourself. I want to write a book that inspires people to do. Just to go out and do." - Amber

[Saahs]

In a previous campagin, my monk character (note the 9 intelligence) rolled a 1 to identify a broken jar which belonged to a dead friend.

An'Nak: ........ It appears to be something made of glass!

She was very proud of her deduction. And it's still a running gag to this day.

[MythicDusk]

Playing a Savage Worlds campaign with Nic, Liam, Tom and Mike.

*character creation*
Me: So, I kind of want to be a bit of a melee. I mean, Mike's got the manwhore down.
Mike: Damn straight.
Me: Nic's a small, scaly, disillusioned child who think he's a Scottish naga.
Nic: *in a bad sottish accent* With a lynx!
Me: Tom's a crusty old guy with a Winchester.
Tom: Wha...?
Me: Never mind tom. So gimmie a hand here, Liam. What perks should I throw down?
Liam: Well, You've never played a Savage Worlds campaign, so yeah, I'll give you a hand. *flicks through the book.* Oh! There's a perk in here that you can basically get a higher class guy to pay for your adventures or a NPC to follow you around and kind of half-pay and protect you.
Me: So what you're saying, is I get a sugar daddy.
Liam: Yeah, pretty much.
Me: That perk is going down. What's the name of it?
Liam: I can't remember and I can't be arsed to look. Just put down 'Sugar daddy'

And as a result, for most of that session, I had a 'Sugar daddy' perk.

*In the first battle, and I made a few really bad rolls.*
Me: Am I dead yet?
Liam: Not yet. You never know, Tom might be able to save you.
Me: Alright, Tom, your roll.
Tom: Okay. *rolls* It's a one.
Me: GOD DAMNIT.
Liam: *rolls* He shot you through the leg.
Me: Well...

*A few hours later, I'd survived, but I was in extreme pain, and Nic's NPC brother always seemed to find a way of getting high.*
Me: *IC* Excuse me, sir, does that bark your chewing have pain relieving properties?
Liam: *IC* *Shrugs and breaks off a piece and hands it to me*
Me: *chews on it*
~
Liam: Great thing, the bark that you've been chewing? Hallucinogenic. You look at the tree and you see what looks like a 'H'
Me: *Is going to get married to an archaeologist called 'Herbert Dashwood'* Herb! Herbie! Herbert! This tree! It has your name in! We should get married under it! Right nowwwww
~
Liam: So, you hear something in the Rainforest, it hisses and cackles, what do you do?
Mike: Get ready for a fight.
Me: Sit under the tree, giggling because I am tripping balls.

[Zoophilos]

(The new) Sherlock Holmes: "I can't talk right now!  I'm in shock.  I have a blanket."

[Soriana]

"Silence is golden."

- Ancient Egyptian proverb

[MythicDusk]

In Psychology, learning about the theory of Phobias being Biological;

Me: Who put down they were afraid of Baby Seals?
Jen: What?
Me: Look, it's a mean graph, and things like cats and dogs are at a one, a baby seal is one-point-three. Someone had to put down they were afraid of a baby seal.
Jen:... You're right.
Me: How can you even be afraid of a baby seal? They just sit there going 'Aaaaaah~'
~
Jen: I don't understand this whole 'touching' thing.
Me: It's if you would be willing to touch it.
Jen: Well, I wouldn't because I wouldn't want to hurt it.
Me: Okay, what if it was sitting on your shoes, and you /really/ needed to go out.
Jen: I would be wondering why there was a jellyfish in my shoes.
Me: It heard your boyfriend was out for the night. It wanted to know if you wanted it to be your boyfriend for the night.
Jen: *bursts out laughing.*
~
Me: What about the snake?
Jen: I still wouldn't pick it up, in case I hurt it.
Lewis: It is literally just a tail with a face, there isn't much too it.
Me: Look, there's two golden rules you need to know about handling a snake. Don't shake it and don't use it as a whip.
Ben: Pretty sure that goes the same for children, too.
~
Jen: I still wouldn't touch it in case I hurt it.
Me: Okay, so what if there was a zoologist standing right next to you, but just /hated/ everything on this list, and was all like; 'Okay, support it's belly but just neeeergh keep it away I don't like it.'
Jen: Yeah, okay, then I would pick it up.

[Arashi]

Whilst I would normally be willing to post something a little more thought-provoking, I will settle for sharing this piece of comedic gold my academic writing professor dropped on our class:

"So, which novels do you [young people] read nowadays, anyways? Musical High School?"

It took just under two minutes for the hysteria to subside. This was perhaps due to the fact that she said that in all seriousness. XD

[MythicDusk]

Pixie: I'm sorry, I hate the newer Final Fantasies.
Me: FF13-3 isn't too bad, to be fair.
Pixie: Why?
Me: Well, Lighting saying 'Kweh kweh' more than makes up for any downfalls.
Pixie: Oh my god.
Me: Along with 'Meow meow choco-chow'.
~
*conversation about shipping*
Me: Who would you ship lighting with?
Pixie: Fang, obviously.
Me: /obviously/. But, FangxVanille is kinda otp.
Pixie: Pshyeah.
Josh: Who would you ship Hope with?
Me: OlderHope or YoungerHope? OlderHope can go with anyone he damn likes that little intelligent bugger him. YoungerHope is ew and can go grow up.
Pixie: You have a thing for OlderHope.
Me: I do have a thing for OlderHope.
~
Me: But the thing is, when you ship twistygames, like Bioshock: Infinite, you're like 'Just kiss. Just kiss. Don'tkissthatwouldbeincest.'
Pixie: I /know/
Me: Happens in Homestuck. You're like 'Awwww. You two should kiss~ wait you're twelve. Why am I trying to put two twelve yer old boys in a relationship I feel dirty.'
Acquaintance on the bus: WHAT.
Me: NEVER PLAY GAMES. NEVER PLAY GAMES. THIS HAPPENS. DON'T PLAY GAMES.
Pixie: *nods*
~
*walking through college*
Me: *convincing Chocobo Kweh*
Someone: *monotone voice* Are you alright, Odin?
Me: YOU. YOU GET ME.

[MythicDusk]

My anaconda don't want none without this doublepost son.
But nah this seems to be how I interact with my friends lately.
Please excuse the swearing.
[04:09:56] Lei'Ghan and all her friends: Eyy happy birthday get drunk skype call me and I'll get drunk with you you know it'll be hilarious.
[04:10:20] Lei'Ghan and all her friends: Also hay bruh how you doin holy shit it's 4 AM I love you but fuck that I'm sleeping noot.

[Kitsune_Beauty]

I am so happy this thread is still going. XD

Customer interactions at work.

Me (note on this day I didn't have a voice) : Would you like a Kroger card?
Guy: *thinking* errmm..nah...well, yeah, why not. Yolo!
Guy's girlfriend: Omg..xD
Me: *whisper-laughing* Just for that, you can't have one.
Guy's girlfriend: Yes! Thank you! XD

Three people come through my line and one is buying a six pack of beer.

Me: Can I see y'all's IDs?
*they all stare at me*
Guy: Well..I'm buying it for me. They're both underage.
Me: *hiding the urge to faceplant* I can't sell it to you unless you're all of age. You may tell me they won't drink it but I don't know that.

It's been an exceptionally moody week for most of the customers when this happens at about 10 P.M one night.

Elderly woman: *briskly walks up and throws a bag of candy on my register* I was looking for the peppermints and spice drops and all you have is Halloween candy!
Me: O_O...The regular candy is right next to the Halloween candy, ma'am..

[Zoophilos]

Some facebook banter between my two siblings:

Sis: So it took the entire Fellowship of the Ring, but I finally finished the last little bit of braiding. It is long enough, and I have run out of black (my one strand of continuity in a riot of color.) I am now ready to start sowing it into a rug! Any opinions? Circle or oval?

...(Various votes for oval)

Bro: Square!

Sis: Square was not one of the options

Bro: But it's the best choice.

Sis: State your reasons. If you vote for something not on the list you must be able to support it!

Bro: Square is closer to the shape of floors, walls, and ceilings in buildings. If a square and a circle have the same surface area, more squares will fit into any normal surface in a building.

Sis: Lol! You actually came up with a good reason! I must say however, that I am not trying to fill up a whole floor.
I am now tempted to try square, even if oval is really better.

Bro: Before you do, you should know that I said square just to annoy you, and thought up reasons for the square after you asked.

Mom: Oval. You will make yourselve crazy trying to do a square. Glad you're finally there. Post a picture when it's finished.

Sis: I know, and I know. That is the reason why I wanted to do square. To get back at you.

Bro: Really? Oh. I would actually be happier with a square though..

Sis: You're incorrigible.

Sis: You're also out voted. Oval!

Bro: Wow, you're harsh. Can I vote circle now?